a hole

May 3, 2004 3:01 PM

a hole
posted by crunchland (129 comments total)

Fascinating, in a very weird way.
posted by Orange Goblin at 3:09 PM on May 3, 2004

this gets stranger as it goes on. I can imagine "I think I'll dig a hole in my backyard," but it's hard to relate to "there's a venomous snake. I'll kill it and eat it."
posted by kevspace at 3:11 PM on May 3, 2004

Wierd, in a very fascinating way.
posted by zekinskia at 3:12 PM on May 3, 2004

I'm not an a hole, you're an a hole.
posted by ColdChef at 3:12 PM on May 3, 2004

By the way, as I was looking at this, I was thinking "This guy must be from Louisiana." This confirmed that he probably was. There is NOTHING that a little Tony Chachere's can't improve.
posted by ColdChef at 3:14 PM on May 3, 2004

His poor wife.
posted by dhoyt at 3:16 PM on May 3, 2004

He's certainly big on killing things.
Cool, in an inexplicable sort of way.

On preview: Amen, dhoyt.
posted by mote at 3:19 PM on May 3, 2004

A spider hole with net access. Wasn't someone looking for one?
posted by roboto at 3:21 PM on May 3, 2004

What the world needs is more obsessive snake-eating people who carefully document their eccentric hole-digging ways. This man has single-handedly displaced the ebay-guy-in-a-dress from the spotlight and reclaimed the home hole meme from Saddam Hussein. I see many photoshopped shoutouts to him in the near future.
Great post.
posted by 111 at 3:25 PM on May 3, 2004

Truly, he is living the American dream.
posted by chrismear at 3:26 PM on May 3, 2004

Got to agree that this is awesome. The next time somebody asks me for a link that demonstrates why the Internet is great, I will share this one.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:29 PM on May 3, 2004

It's not deep enough to be a proper oubliette. Which is just as well; at one point I thought maybe that's what he was going for.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:30 PM on May 3, 2004

"Here is my big fat pregnant wife checking things out..."

Oh yeah....this marriage will definitely last.
posted by car_bomb at 3:36 PM on May 3, 2004

His wife is both patient and beautiful. He is a lucky man.
posted by Kwantsar at 3:36 PM on May 3, 2004

I hope he'll forgive me for saying this because I mean it in the nicest possible way, but I could easily see troutfishing doing something like this.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:37 PM on May 3, 2004

Holy. Mother. Of. God. Matt?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 3:40 PM on May 3, 2004

And his name is... Richard Cheney.


I hope he'll forgive me for saying this because I mean it in the nicest possible way, but I could easily see troutfishing doing something like this.

I hope he'll forgive me for laughing.
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 3:42 PM on May 3, 2004

I hope he'll forgive me for saying this because I mean it in the nicest possible way, but I could easily see troutfishing doing something like this.

lol
posted by 111 at 3:42 PM on May 3, 2004

this is awesome.
posted by jonah at 3:42 PM on May 3, 2004

my first thought was "what if it rains?". Indeed. Mosquito haven.
posted by tomplus2 at 3:43 PM on May 3, 2004

I used to love digging holes when I was a kid. A friend of mine once made the most elaborate hotweels course out of dirt in his backyard. Well, it was for Hotweels, M.A.S.K. and any other toys we had around. Holes are cool.
posted by shotsy at 3:46 PM on May 3, 2004

What a freaking redneck. Wonder what it's like for the wife to be married to a big dumb man-child.
posted by xmutex at 3:46 PM on May 3, 2004

I still want to have my very own grown-up blanket/cushion fort. With, you know, kitchen accessories and definitely a TV and a computer.

But a hole would be pretty cool, too.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 3:48 PM on May 3, 2004

MetaFilter: a great place to escape, and take naps, and shoot animals from.
posted by whoshotwho at 3:52 PM on May 3, 2004

ColdChef, I I think he's GOT to be a Texan. The Tony Cachere's on the snake does prove he has a fine appreciation of cajun cuisine, but only a Texan wife would be cool enough to let her husband waste his time doing this kind of thing. (Or the robots he builds, for that matter.)

Let's see - in the Venn Diagram of "Cajun spice eaters" and "Texans," there is the most overlap north of Houston. He's probably my neighbor.
posted by pomegranate at 3:53 PM on May 3, 2004

Scratch that extra "I." Not stuttering as much these days.
posted by pomegranate at 3:54 PM on May 3, 2004

I wonder how cool his water-hole will be when his kid falls into it and drowns.
posted by afx114 at 3:55 PM on May 3, 2004

I thought it was cutely eccentric until he started putting out birdfeeders so he could open fire. I'm sort of glad the water rose and deprived him of his little pillbox fantasies.
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:55 PM on May 3, 2004

"What are you doing?"
"Digging."
"Why?"
"To make a hole."
"A hole for what?"
"More digging."
posted by brownpau at 3:59 PM on May 3, 2004

Wow. 27 comments and still the words "freak" and "loser" do not appear on this page. There.
posted by scarabic at 3:59 PM on May 3, 2004

"Okay, darling. Now come try to storm daddy's beach at Normandy."
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:00 PM on May 3, 2004

...wait. Venn diagrams are geographic? That explains all the trouble I was having with that one syllogism. All this time I thought they were vaguely erotic.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:05 PM on May 3, 2004

WTF? Did that guy kill and eat a frickin' copperhead? Which, uh, seems to land him in Texas, just so's you know.
posted by WolfDaddy at 4:09 PM on May 3, 2004

Wow. 27 comments and still the words "freak" and "loser" do not appear on this page. There.

Freakin' loser.

There.
posted by stonerose at 4:23 PM on May 3, 2004

Pomegranate and WolfDaddy: Nope, gotta push for Louisiana. I offer as evidence (besides the Tonys): the French names, the broken English, his email address kinda looks like "coonass" (a self-appointed Louisana label), and Tabasco boxers.
posted by ColdChef at 4:25 PM on May 3, 2004

Of course, we could just email and ask him.
posted by ColdChef at 4:25 PM on May 3, 2004

Sure looks like one to me. I thought the Food Network bit was a nice touch, although I would have preferred some warmer earth tones in the photos. The kid next to the hole filled with water was indeed a tad disturbing.

Rattlesnake

Ingredients and Directions:
64oz canned beans
30oz canned stewed tomatoes
4oz canned diced jalopenos
1 large red onion
1 garlic clove, crushed
dash of salt
1lb ground beef
1/2lb rattlesnake meat

Put cooked beans into large pot. Add all ingredients and simmer for 10 minutes
posted by anathema at 4:26 PM on May 3, 2004

Is that kid waring camouflage?!?

Which, uh, seems to land him in Texas, just so's you know.

The daughther web pages says:

My stupid daddy lost his digital camera in Houston so there haven't been as many updates.

So yeah, that assumption checks out.

I like to stay up late and watch Fox News and the History Channel with mommy and daddy.

Hmm, I understand the camouflage then. And I'm starting to see a pattern too...
posted by NewBornHippy at 4:27 PM on May 3, 2004

Sorry. Not his email. His AIM.
posted by ColdChef at 4:27 PM on May 3, 2004

Oh yeah. That dirty bastard was going to kill me, then eat my 'pig in the blanket'. You can see his venom leaking down my pocket knife. Its a copperhead.

Missed that.
posted by anathema at 4:29 PM on May 3, 2004

This man is self-actualised.

But if only it were a portable hole.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 4:30 PM on May 3, 2004

Okay, on the kid's pages, Grandpa is wearing a teeshirt from a Louisiana college and there are Mardi Gras pictures.

Louisiana, I say.
posted by ColdChef at 4:30 PM on May 3, 2004

I vote HoleMan gets a MeFi account. We need more "views from the hole."
posted by anathema at 4:31 PM on May 3, 2004

I love seeing this stuff on the Internet.
posted by smackfu at 4:34 PM on May 3, 2004

Between digging a big hole and crawling into it, then shooting any snake that comes near it leads me to believe that he has some unresolve issues with his mother. That he ate the snake leads me to assume he has unresolved issues with his father.

his poor wife

she gets what he deserves, she can leave any time. i feel sorry for the kid.
posted by graventy at 4:34 PM on May 3, 2004

I'm with anathema. He could have a regular section on the sideblog.

Best thing I've seen on the web in a while.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:36 PM on May 3, 2004

( )
posted by AwkwardPause at 4:39 PM on May 3, 2004

i enjoyed this very much.
posted by H. Roark at 4:44 PM on May 3, 2004

"Between digging a big hole and crawling into it, then shooting any snake that comes near it leads me to believe that he has some unresolve issues with his mother. That he ate the snake leads me to assume he has unresolved issues with his father."—graventy

You should be paid big bucks for this shit.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:44 PM on May 3, 2004

I am so glad he didn't kill (or eat) his wife...each new page made me more and more nervous.
posted by amberglow at 4:50 PM on May 3, 2004

Stir of Echoes.
posted by archimago at 4:51 PM on May 3, 2004

Hmm. It starts off as a weird guy digging a hole but then gradually you realise his odd obsession with killing things -- first the mouse, hinting at what's to come, and then it's onto the birds and finally the snake. By the end, you're repulsed by the guy -- you go from cheering for him to cheering against him, and you're sort of glad to see his damn hole get flooded, but still a little sad to see it go.

It should be a play, or something, if you ask me. It's a great little story.
posted by reklaw at 4:59 PM on May 3, 2004

freak? loser?

Did you guys catch American Idol the other night? talk about Google for more than an hour? argue about CSS pencils? cry about flash design? insist that outsider art is somehow seperate from all other art? spend any time on Metafilter?

freak and loser shouldn't be tossed about so lightly
posted by Satapher at 5:01 PM on May 3, 2004

"Hmm. It starts off as a weird guy digging a hole but then gradually you realise his odd obsession with killing things -- first the mouse, hinting at what's to come, and then it's onto the birds and finally the snake. By the end, you're repulsed by the guy -- you go from cheering for him to cheering against him, and you're sort of glad to see his damn hole get flooded, but still a little sad to see it go.

It should be a play, or something, if you ask me. It's a great little story."—reklaw

It is: The Rise and Fall of the Bush Empire. It's just like how you describe it except for that bit at the end.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 5:06 PM on May 3, 2004

Satapher: you're aware, aren't you, that while he was hanging out in his little hole and shooting a snake with his 9mm, he was also posting to an internet discussion board.

Quod erat demonstrandum, baby.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 5:09 PM on May 3, 2004

When I read this website this book immediately came to mind.
posted by thedailygrowl at 5:13 PM on May 3, 2004

crunchland--thanks for this. In a number of ways, it was like reading about my own father, who (before he was married) dug a mineshaft in his back yard complete with supports, beams, etc. It was about 19ft. deep with a tunnel at the bottom that ran out about 10-15ft. The tunnel was 6ft. high. His parents later put a good sized gas-fired kiln over it. Then there was the snake. My father came across a 6ft. rattlesnake while out on a well, "killed" it once, discovered it missing when he went back later to get the skin, found it again alive up in a mesquite, and killed it again. Over 25 yrs. later that skin is still in my parents' freezer. It was always a surprise to pull that thing out while looking for something to thaw for dinner.
posted by lobakgo at 5:14 PM on May 3, 2004

Louisiana, I say.

I daresay you are correct, sir. The home page of his ISP indicates that it's located in Natchitoches, Louisiana.

However, that's northern Louisiana, which we southern Louisianians consider to be southern Arkansas.
posted by chuq at 5:16 PM on May 3, 2004

I like the way he draws little ascii penises at the bottom of every page.
posted by iconomy at 5:18 PM on May 3, 2004

I laughed, I cried. Then I laughed and cried some more.

Thank you, crunchland.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 5:19 PM on May 3, 2004

I also say "thanks crunchland!" and agree, an a--hole indeed!
posted by Lynsey at 5:27 PM on May 3, 2004

Quod erat demonstrandum

no doubt, its vey obvious that im a part of this equation... but HoleMan is awesome.
posted by Satapher at 5:35 PM on May 3, 2004

I stand in amazement that no-one has pointed out that badgers loooove to dig the holes; and furthermore damp hles are where one might seek a mushroom and that therefore, after all those badger-like diggins pix, one should clearly have know that inevitably, a snaaaaake a snaaaaaaake

that dang ol internet, click click clickity click...
posted by mwhybark at 5:36 PM on May 3, 2004

Over 25 yrs. later that skin is still in my parents' freezer.

LEAVE.
NOW.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:43 PM on May 3, 2004

"Poor wife?" I read his comments about his wife as being sort of a ironic joke between him and her. This plays out at the end when he mentions that she is "not pregnant, not fat" later. His sense of humor might be quirky, but I believe this is a joke he and his wife are on the same page about - surely she has seen this.

I read this as a guy who loves his wife, loves his kid, loves his dog and cat, and like to hunt. He also thought of doing something quirky and interesting in his back yard and did a pretty decent job documenting it. If that makes him an asshole, he's my kind of asshole - and I'm not a fan of hunting.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:44 PM on May 3, 2004

loved this link. he's very prosaic about his project. leaves the interpretation to us.
posted by jcruelty at 5:50 PM on May 3, 2004

The guy's wife seems like a nice-looking girl, but I'll bet she's a freak mound-builder. Opposites attract, and all that.

Oh, and does this idiot understand the meaning of the word "sinkhole"? How about "compound fracture"? "Lawsuit" perhaps?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:58 PM on May 3, 2004

I'm pretty sure that little creature isn't even a mouse. It looks like a vole to me.
posted by emptyage at 6:19 PM on May 3, 2004

Check out this awesome photo from his daughters home page. Is that a nightcrawler on his shoulder?
posted by thedailygrowl at 6:28 PM on May 3, 2004

It appears that he built it for hunting deer:

"Here are pics of the hole from the front view. Where my potential targets would be standing (deer)."

FWIW, anyway. But it sounds better than just shooting snakes and other things, as folks have been implying.
posted by armage at 6:31 PM on May 3, 2004

All these comments of loser make no sense to me. This guy is my kind of nut. At least he's not sitting in front of the TV all day. Besides the snake WAS after his pigs in a blanket.
posted by Scoo at 6:34 PM on May 3, 2004

...though I understand that he shot said other things anyway. Well, gotta shoot somethin'.
posted by armage at 6:36 PM on May 3, 2004

I daresay you are correct, sir. The home page of his ISP indicates that it's located in Natchitoches, Louisiana.

Thanks, chuq. Great research! You know...for a Yankee Loosianier, he could pass for a "good ol' boy"...butsept for all the computer stuff.

(you know, now that I KNOW this guy is from LA, I kinda wish he weren't)
posted by ColdChef at 6:38 PM on May 3, 2004

Besides the snake WAS after his pigs in a blanket.

pigs in the blanket.
posted by luckyclone at 6:40 PM on May 3, 2004

There are several A Holes of a different sort on this thread. What a bunch of haters.
posted by techgnollogic at 7:14 PM on May 3, 2004

Not complete without the automatic airsoft robot controlled by the internet. And I think his wife is pretty cute. And he says his office is in la.
posted by headless at 7:26 PM on May 3, 2004

I'm with Joey Michaels. I'm not the biggest fan of killing things (though at least he uses what he's shot) but this whole project reeks of cool.
posted by kenko at 7:29 PM on May 3, 2004

ColdChef, I'm disappointed in your declining sleuthing skills. Clearly, our hole-digging snake-eater is a Louisiana native who has been to Lasyone's Meat Pie Restaurant in lovely Natchitoches, LA.

Oh, and the obligatory [this is good].
posted by yhbc at 7:36 PM on May 3, 2004

lol, since when did pigs in the blanket equal hotdogs on white bread?
posted by Satapher at 7:38 PM on May 3, 2004

"I hope he'll forgive me for saying this because I mean it in the nicest possible way, but I could easily see troutfishing doing something like this." ( mr_crash_davis )

"Lol" - 111

crash - I won't say I have, and I won't say I haven't. But, I will say this - my hole (which might or might not exist) is immune to flooding. I've solved that problem (if this hole in fact does exist).

111 - you do make a lot assumptions, don't you. You're not welcome in my hole (which I might or might not have dug) unless you apologize.

_______________________________

Digging a hole is a basic survivalist strategy. For the same reasons, essentially, Mormons horde food.

But a mere hole can flood, and it's walls can cave in...... and even mountains can collapse, and deep underground structures such as US government facilities can be destroyed by convulsions in the Earth's skin. What to do?

Simple. Dig a relatively shallow hole, and fill it with a submarine - a small, basic, sturdy one. Sort of like a modern version of the Hunley, but bigger. A low tech sub.

Look to all of the existing, known creation myths. Most concern great floods, and survivors of these great floods often take refuge in trunks, canoes, large baskets, or other sealed containers. As a survival strategy, a sub has sterling historical precedent.

If floods, you're cool. High winds? Your 1/4" thick steel sub hull will take it, and it's too heavy to blow away!

Fallout ? Fill the airspace around the sub, in your hole, with dirt. You'll probably survive.

A sub in a hole does it all.
posted by troutfishing at 7:38 PM on May 3, 2004

I was a little confused w/ his photo of pigs in THE blanket... At the compound, Pigs in THE blanket has always been stuffed cabbage.

I enjoyed the link and his daughter's page as well. The photo of the daughter submerged in the box of packing corn alarmed me, though.
posted by TangerineGurl at 7:41 PM on May 3, 2004

Oh - and, I'm generally sympathetic to the hole-digging man. Most people spend their recreational time in less creative ways.
posted by troutfishing at 7:41 PM on May 3, 2004

this is why america will never be overtaken by a foreign power.

we like to dig holes in our backyards and shoot things.
posted by _sirmissalot_ at 7:47 PM on May 3, 2004

Most people build their deer blinds in trees, but to each his own, I guess.

It's kind of disappointing that for all that work all he got was a mouse, a copperhead and a few birds.
posted by pyramid termite at 7:49 PM on May 3, 2004

... and an 84-comment thread on MetaFilter!
posted by Kwantsar at 7:52 PM on May 3, 2004

YHBC: You are like a god to me. I bow to your amazing skillz.

(Also, I LOVES me some Natchitoches meat pies.)
posted by ColdChef at 7:54 PM on May 3, 2004

City boys.

I grew up in a high school that cleared out for deer hunting season, and controlling the population is a necessity even in normal times; right now, with CWD ("mad deer"), eliminating up to 95% of the deer population is an urgent requirement.

There are hunters who stalk their game, but probably most hunting is against animals -- including deer -- shot from various fixed locations known variously as blinds, [tree] stands, or hides, especially if you hunt from land you or a friend owns. It's significantly safer than bumping about in the trees, especially if there are other hunters nearby, and while it may seem less sporting, it's not a game where the deer is supposed to have a chance. It's even called a harvest, ferpetesakes. The state issues as many licenses as it expects to need to control the population, so the deer who gets away will often simply be bagged by another hunter. Yes, it's camping in FPS terms, but then it's just another kind of game, really. The different levels of hunter all have a hierarchy of contempt, and probably the worst is the lazy hide hunter who baits all the deer in the neighborhood onto his property. Then again, the DNR's attempt to ban and limit deer baiting resulted in an enormous outcry and the decision reached the state legislature, so more than a few hunters are doing it.

That said, this guy's a bit goofy, but I enjoyed reading it using the accent of my former Loozyana roommate.
posted by dhartung at 8:01 PM on May 3, 2004

Do you normally wear helmets in your deer blinds? I ask as a clueless blue stater.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:21 PM on May 3, 2004

Um, is it safe to say that this guy doesn't have any friends to hang out with so he dug a hole in his backyard?

And on second thought, does he know his ass from a hole in the ground?
posted by fenriq at 8:31 PM on May 3, 2004

Remember, any picture with him in it is taken by his wife. Witting accomplice indeed.

And my favorite part, it's almost like Dr. Seuss:

So many of you might ask.
WTF do you do
with such a beautiful hole?

As mentioned above,
it IS a great place
to escape,
and take naps,
and shoot animals from.
posted by smackfu at 8:35 PM on May 3, 2004

gosh. after reading that, and even after reading all of the above, i still sort of want a hole. not to shoot things, mind you... just because nobody else i know currently has one. and, you have to admit, it's sorta ... well, not cool, no. but it's something.
posted by caution live frogs at 9:02 PM on May 3, 2004

Wait...no pictures of Precious?
posted by naxosaxur at 9:10 PM on May 3, 2004

Great link.
posted by callmejay at 9:24 PM on May 3, 2004

caution live frogs - isn't a hole the absence of something ? But, I guess it's still full of air.
posted by troutfishing at 9:29 PM on May 3, 2004

tornado shelter.
posted by bargle at 9:45 PM on May 3, 2004

For about a zillion delicious reasons, this reminds me of a book I love so very much: Shelter. Maybe I'm just a "big dumb man-child" myself (many are certain of this), but there's something more for me to enjoying the coziness of a tent, carving rooms into a snow-fort, or making a room which rests in the branches of a tree than just some handyman thing or a king-of-my-hill angle. To be frank, that first picture of the diagram of the hole inspired me more than anything there -- it's in sharp contrast to so much "easy" junk architecture, boring boxes, and other embarrassing ticky-tacky. It's primitive and raw and hard won -- and ultimately, lost.

A lot of you have put down the man and his hole, and that's fine if all you take away is that "a guy dug a hole in his backyard." Sure, he doesn't make great strides in architecture. He doesn't make his family a proud new home. He doesn't create new ways of doing things. But to me there's something excellent about the notion that he made a place where there wasn't a place before.
posted by SteelyDuran at 9:57 PM on May 3, 2004

"...to me there's something excellent about the notion that he made a place where there wasn't a place before."

Ah, but there was a place there before, it was just buried under a lot of dirt.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:59 PM on May 3, 2004

I feel like I need a shower. The same kind of feeling one gets after watching a Harmony Korin film.
posted by orbit at 11:26 PM on May 3, 2004

mr_crash_davis: Ah, but there was a place there before, it was just buried under a lot of dirt.

That is my favorite comment this month.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:14 AM on May 4, 2004

Yeah, on mature considerations, I detect the smell of snooty, tight-arsed jealousy here. This guy appears to be a very happy man, and good for him.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 1:07 AM on May 4, 2004

"I feel sorry for his wife" - give me a break. He and his wife are more likely to be in a loving, lasting relationship than any couple that can't joke about each others' appearance.

He's got a strong aura of eau de redneck, but more power to any redneck that makes a 3dsmax model of his backyard hole-fort before he builds it for no other reason than because he wanted to. Or, I'm sorry, I guess people are only allowed to diverge from the mainstream in acceptable ways.

p.s.: if you pride yourself on how edgy and weird and freaky you are, and then crapped on this guy - who eats what he kills and does what he wants regardless of what others may think and then shares what he does with others - if you pride yourself on those things and then tried to land some limp insult on this guy, give it up. Ten bucks says you were the kid with Jncos, flannels, and a chain wallet but no skateboard in highschool.
posted by kavasa at 2:00 AM on May 4, 2004

Dunno. I had a big hole as a kid.

Great place to hang out, play, and eat the tomato soup my evil chicken noodle family hated.
posted by Samizdata at 2:53 AM on May 4, 2004

Am I the only one who thought of House of Leaves?
posted by IshmaelGraves at 8:22 AM on May 4, 2004

Must...resist...
posted by anathema at 8:26 AM on May 4, 2004

I'd pay cash money for an official "I dig HoleMan" t-shirt.
posted by anathema at 8:28 AM on May 4, 2004

It's not really that he made a hole hide out in his backyard, because that appeals to a lot of people here, obviously. Yeah, it is the case that actually doing it and documenting is a little strange, but so what? And it's not that he likes to shoot things. Lots of people like to shoot things. And it's not that he ate something he shot. Lots of people do that, too. And it's not that he ate a snake. People eat snake. It's not even that he ate the snake at the urging of his internet buddies, because who among us hasn't done something a little strange at the urging of our internet buddies?

It's not that he calls his wife the "big, fat pregnant wife". A lot of men make those sorts of jokes. It's not that he made sure he had internet connectivity in his hidey-hole...surely that would be a priority many of us here would have? And it's not that he has some funky rib cage deformity and tends to only squat instead of sit. Many of us (including me) have physical disabilities (and a big portion of the world squats and not sits).

To continue, it's not that he had a mishap with his first experiment with the concrete and had to smash it up and remove it and start over...concrete can be troublesome. It's not that he didn't realize that inevitably his hole would flood, because not everyone thinks that far ahead or is knowledgeable about such things. (Anyway, he wanted to dig a hole, and he did.)

It's not the he obsessively documented this. That's what the intarweb is for, right?

It's not that it's a welcoming watery grave for his young daughter, because, hopefully, he normally keeps it sealed from her access (intentional or accidental).

It's not that he's now bored with the whole project, his house, and is going to move, because ennui is the modern human condition.

And, finally, it's not that his spelling and grammar are very poor yet his writing is somehow oddly poetic, because that calls to mind some of our beloved MeFites.

No, what it is is that the hole is greater than its parts, and the whole and the hole are just delightfully nutty and more than a little weird and at times a bit scary. So, yeah, good for him, but I'm glad he's not my brother-in-law.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 8:35 AM on May 4, 2004

This is cool. Guy's a weirdo, but aren't we all?

And yeah, goddammit, I want my copy of House of Leaves back.
posted by cortex at 8:48 AM on May 4, 2004

Great link. It's the Louisiana version of Rob Cockerham, kind of.
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 8:56 AM on May 4, 2004

This guy has great spirit, a fun shared sense of humor with his wife, and the time and desire to do the things he loves in life. All you whiners above wish you had the spirit of his life, though certainly not the trappings and interests.

I'm with Joey Michaels on this one.
posted by hurkle at 9:05 AM on May 4, 2004

I hope that when ol' Swee'Pea is old enough to climb trees, he makes her a tree house (that can double as a deer blind when it's too chilly for her to play outside much). This looked to me like a whole lot of fun.
posted by alumshubby at 9:10 AM on May 4, 2004

My best friend would do something like dig a hole, if she only knew how to use a shovel. ;-P
posted by mischief at 9:16 AM on May 4, 2004

I dig his 'totaly awesome' antennas!
posted by of strange foe at 9:26 AM on May 4, 2004

I dig this hole!

kavasa, great skateboard comment. so true. so true.
posted by dabitch at 9:43 AM on May 4, 2004

I found that the hole was very cool at night and was somehow warm at night.

I think this about sums up the guy's basic ability to discern anything.
posted by soyjoy at 9:52 AM on May 4, 2004

The “World Famous” Woodstock Mystery Hole™

Just in case anyone thought strange hole diggin' folks were a Southern thing...
posted by togdon at 9:54 AM on May 4, 2004

This really shows the potential of the web, like it or not. Sort of like the Chernobyl motorcyclist.
posted by codger at 9:57 AM on May 4, 2004

A lot of you have put down the man and his hole
All you whiners above

Aw, c'mon--there are, like, 5 negative comments and 110 positive ones. Lighten up. Sheesh.

I've always dug holes, in my back yard as a kid, still do at the beach. I started a big one in high school, but gave up when seepage started. I don't see that he took cave-in precautions.

I wish I had a big hole now. Hoo-boy yes.
posted by MrMoonPie at 10:15 AM on May 4, 2004

Negative comments? I, for one, welcome our new hole-digging, er, underlords.
posted by codger at 10:26 AM on May 4, 2004

I've got a hole in my backyard.

My dad made it where the well starts so that the water take tank can be below the freezing line. Unfortunately, I've had to climb down in it for repairs way too many times. but it is better constructed than this guys. it is over twenty years old and not filled up with water... plus it has a kids play house over top of it.
posted by Recockulous at 11:58 AM on May 4, 2004

Thanks, I was hoping I wouldn't see any S&M devices and there wasn't. I'd be very leery of anyone digging a hole in their back yard.
posted by page404 at 12:14 PM on May 4, 2004

someday i'm gonna dig me a whole in mah back yard and bury some of you sorry sons'o'bitches in it. that'll teach y'all.
posted by bargle at 12:28 PM on May 4, 2004

That was fascinating and disturbing. Fascinating that he documented it. Fascinating that he did it. Disturbing that he did it. Disturbing that I want my own hole now. And all tinged with a touch of horror: horror that he did it, and horror that I want to do it.

All in all, then, definately The Best of The Web.

Say, Ethreal, how are your pair of holes coming along?
posted by five fresh fish at 12:55 PM on May 4, 2004

I love HoleGuy and Family. But then, I adore rednecks...think the world needs more of 'em. (And, just as aside, if I see a copperhead or a diamondback, and I have a gun, I shoot them. That's the main reason you carry a gun on a ranch ...for shooting varmints and rustlers. I've never seen a rustler, but I've seen plenty o' varmints.) Those critters can kill you. Especially if they're after your pigs inna blankie.

Anyway, I love this link. This link is brilliant. And now, I too join the mefi legions who want a hole.
posted by dejah420 at 1:20 PM on May 4, 2004

What dejah said. Also, when I was eight I tried my best to dig a hole like this but had neither the strength nor the resources. Now it's too late. The condo board would have my ass for breakfast.

[this is deep]
posted by languagehat at 6:57 PM on May 4, 2004

The condo board would have my ass for breakfast.

Not to mention your neighbour downstairs.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 9:21 PM on May 4, 2004

I too join the mefi legions who want a hole.

Everybody's got one.
posted by soyjoy at 9:28 AM on May 5, 2004

I sent an e-mail to Mr. Holeman expressing admiration for his site and hole, and he wrote a very kind note back. Really nice guy. I would buy him a beer - and then drink one with him in his hole.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:48 PM on May 5, 2004

Don't know if you noticed, but the exposure of the site has caused him to take the pics off line for awhile. "YOU GUYS ASSRAPED MY BANDWIDTH! :(" and he posted an update, (to save his bandwidth), he says :

"May 4th, 2004
Oh crap. I think im famous on the internet again. I got a whole bunch of emails from people telling me how great mey hole is. At first I thought that maybe the porn pics of me had gotten out on the internet (THATS A JOKE MOM!!) but then I realized they were talking about the hole in my back yard. Apparently, links to my story got posted on some web pages etc.
What? You ask how I was famous on the internet the first time?
Well, that involved me, firearms, a dead beaver, beer, and explosives that were applied to the aformentioned beaver. So, ummm, to avoid calls by the ATF and Dept. of Homeland Security and death threats by PETA wackos, thats all I'm going to say about that....
Anyway, my house is up for sale and wouldnt you know the realtors thought the hole justified its OWN picture and description on the web page?
http://www.collinsandstamey.com/requestinfo.asp?id=446
The 6th pic down, caption of "Underground deer obersvation hut"

posted by crunchland at 8:33 PM on May 5, 2004

I love it.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:20 AM on May 6, 2004