where earlier in the day there used to be the biggest Toys R Us in the world, in its place is now a store that sells the nastiest sex toys in the world.

May 18, 2004 4:55 PM

Choose Your Own New York You're in town to visit your wealthy and eccentric Aunt Ginny, who is spending the day having her blood replaced with Botox on the Upper East Side. Now you have the entire day to yourself to explore the most exciting city in the world! -- A Choose Your Own Adventure story, updated.
posted by amberglow (11 comments total)

While entrenched in fierce gang-banging action, you die of a blunt trauma wound after being struck in the head with a huge dildo in what later becomes known as the "Christopher Street Bath House Bloodbath." You had no idea how right Aunt Ginny was when she had warned you not to time travel to the 1970s and join a gay street gang during your trip to New York City!

Just like real life, really.
posted by dg at 5:06 PM on May 18, 2004

I was reminiscing about these books just yesterday. I moved house and there they all were. I had heaps of them but I didn't know there were this many.

Funny link, tho. From the record store: "Fortunately for you, countless years of searching for rare Pixes EPs has left Matt in no physical condition to even consider chasing after you."

heh

Then I went back in time and joined the Baseball Furies from 'The Warriors'. Then I died in a showdown with the Village People.

Just like real life, really.
posted by bdave at 5:55 PM on May 18, 2004

A Wax statue of Yoko Ono and other half-ass stars and sports celebrities killed me.

Just like real life, really.
posted by tittergrrl at 6:06 PM on May 18, 2004

MetaFiilter: Just like real life, really.
posted by page404 at 6:19 PM on May 18, 2004

Tony Danza's Hamlet: "'Great Fuckin' Play!' -- The New York Post."

Completely and totally accurate in every way.
posted by mmcg at 6:33 PM on May 18, 2004

Cute idea, but the execution is dumb.
posted by bingo at 9:15 PM on May 18, 2004

What are CHUDs and why do they want to kill me?
posted by brownpau at 11:41 PM on May 18, 2004

CHUD
posted by SPrintF at 7:35 AM on May 19, 2004

I have to say I disagree with bingo,
as I spent all my time at this site ROFL.
They're pretty on-spot on with the trends and the lingo
and hit on a wide range of subjects quite well.

Sorry for the kinda late post, but I wanted time to explore
and find my favorite pages to share:
not everything in its right place at the music store,
and the scalding send-up of trucker hats, which I love to wear.

it's my first post in a while, and quite apropos
that it's in a FPP from my old friend amberglow
posted by troybob at 3:37 PM on May 21, 2004

troybob!!!!! : >
posted by amberglow at 4:21 PM on May 21, 2004

troybob! The name doth echo in my ear
With memories of verse in threads gone by.
I offer you my kudos and my beer,
And hope you'll stay to post more poetry.
posted by languagehat at 5:45 PM on May 21, 2004