Jesus saves (on prescription drugs)

June 4, 2004 8:44 AM

The Son of God has Prozac and Viagra on sale now. Why bother with know-it-all pharmacists when you can get prescription drugs from Jesus Himself? He even sells birth control for only $129.99 a month (loaves and fishes not included.) via The General
posted by trondant (19 comments total)

Viagra and Levitra, eh?

He is risen indeed. ;-)

(cheap joke, but SOMEBODY had to be first to make it)
posted by Esco757 at 8:56 AM on June 4, 2004

Heavenly boners.

Prozac for fundy cognitive dissonance.

The Southern Baptist ideal web site.
posted by nofundy at 9:27 AM on June 4, 2004

Anything to help with these sore wrists?
posted by bondcliff at 9:42 AM on June 4, 2004

jesus himself huh... (nails trondant to cross)
posted by clavdivs at 9:54 AM on June 4, 2004

bondcliff, you're just not using the right mousepad.

That was what you meant, right?
posted by chicobangs at 9:55 AM on June 4, 2004

14. Most English translations render the beginning of v. 41 so as to emphasize Jesus' compassion for this poor outcast leper, "moved with compassion/filled with pity." In doing so, they are following the Greek text found in most of our manuscripts, splagxnisqei\j e)ktei/naj th\n xei=ra au)tou=, "feeling compassion, reaching out his hand." It is certainly easy to see why compassion might be called for in the situation. We don't know the precise nature of the man's disease--many commentators prefer to think of it as a scaly skin disorder rather than the kind of rotting flesh that we commonly associate with leprosy. In any event, he may well have fallen under the injunctions of the Torah that forbad "lepers" of any sort to live normal lives; they were to be isolated, cut off from the public, considered unclean (Leviticus 13-14). Moved with pity for such a one, Jesus reaches out a tender hand, touches his diseased flesh, and heals him.

Text and Tradition: The Role of New Testament Manuscripts in Early Christian Studies
by Bart D. Ehrman
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

see also:

Jesus the Healer: Possession, Trance, and the Origins of Christianity
by Stevan L. Davies

*tries desperately to save thread*
posted by matteo at 10:08 AM on June 4, 2004

Matteo,

Saving this thread may require some divine intervention.

:-)
posted by nofundy at 10:11 AM on June 4, 2004

*gives up, certain of eternal damnation*
posted by matteo at 10:13 AM on June 4, 2004

*comes back from the dead, kicks clavdivs' junk*
posted by trondant at 10:19 AM on June 4, 2004

the baby jesus butt plug is truly a work of art. I could keep that in my umm art cabinet
posted by mr.marx at 11:32 AM on June 4, 2004

He even sells birth control for only $129.99 a month

what the hell... is that an average american price for ortho tri-cyclen...!? that's insane, how can people with average incomes afford that every month...?!

(shane just pointed out to me) on the about us page they call themselves chicagoRX... page has the same basic layout, diff featured items on the front page tho' and a different logo. weird...
posted by t r a c y at 11:47 AM on June 4, 2004

ha. their FAQ makes me laugh.

i'd bet the most frequently asked question is: wtf is up with the jesuschristrx.com domain?

is it b/c ... jesus christ! viagra costs that much?!

on preview: my girlfriend pays about $30 a month for orthotricyclen (i chip in, but she makes so much more money than me!) they don't mention the domain name anywhere on the site.

and, are you making that baby jesus butt plug thing up, or is there a link i'm missing?
posted by mrgrimm at 11:52 AM on June 4, 2004

my girlfriend pays about $30 a month for orthotricyclen

10 euros (about $ 12) in socialized-medicine, lame-ass, welfare-loving, freedom-hating Italy
posted by matteo at 12:45 PM on June 4, 2004

and, are you making that baby jesus butt plug thing up, or is there a link i'm missing?
posted by mrgrimm at 11:52 AM PST on June 4


Check my divine intervention link!
posted by nofundy at 1:08 PM on June 4, 2004

All of the meducations are incredibly expensive. What gives?
posted by Keith Talent at 1:32 PM on June 4, 2004

All of the medications are incredibly expensive. What gives?

Any of the pharmacies that are not *real* pharmacies have these insane prices. Probably because they can. Now, as to whether you'd ever see the drugs you paid for...that's another story entirely.

That said, do you know how impossible it is to find a legitimate Canadian pharmacy online now?
posted by dejah420 at 1:45 PM on June 4, 2004

10 euros (about $ 12) in socialized-medicine, lame-ass, welfare-loving, freedom-hating Italy

$6-$10 at canadian planned parenthood locations.

That said, do you know how impossible it is to find a legitimate Canadian pharmacy online now?

well there's quite a few actually, but trying to find one that still ships to the usa is pretty much impossible. the small print on most of them goes something like this:

The FDA, due to the current state of their regulations, has taken the position that virtually all shipments of prescription drugs imported from a Canadian pharmacy by a U.S. consumer will violate the law.
posted by t r a c y at 3:21 PM on June 4, 2004

I wonder if us compassionate Canucks can work as pharmacy intermediaries.

If an American was to send a prescription and appropriate cash to me, I'd be happy to go down to the drugstore, get the pills, and ship 'em off.

Provided I wouldn't end up in jail. Or hunted down like a dog by your evil pharmaceutical overlords.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:38 PM on June 4, 2004

oh trondant...i did not let you die, another common misconception...you must have killed yourself thus no resurrection. The junk from my shed was carefully taken away this morning and may i say what a shitball thread this was.
posted by clavdivs at 9:37 AM on June 5, 2004