Kaboosh!

August 12, 2004 8:18 AM

At 7.14 a.m. on 30 June 1908a massive pale blue fireball swept out of the sky and exploded high above the Tunguska River valley in Siberia. And who is to blame? According to the latest news, aliens. What a surprise...
posted by inkeri (26 comments total)

Does that explain this? Weird things do happen in Russia.
posted by banished at 8:23 AM on August 12, 2004

Mayde it's just another strange scientific experiment gone wrong....
posted by inkeri at 8:28 AM on August 12, 2004

For years, a friend and I have often used 'Tunguska'
as a code word for horribly explosive farting.
posted by Peter H at 8:38 AM on August 12, 2004

Heh. I suppose a Tunguska has approximately the same level and intensity of passed air as in the situation which we like to call a "Trumpet of Doom".
posted by inkeri at 8:54 AM on August 12, 2004

I thought it was a Weekly World News type site, full of made up stories, like:

- Cat hijacker 'not linked' to al-Qaeda

- Giant ant 'supercolony' found

- Man 'roasted, eaten' at wedding

- Man chased by waxwork 'corpse'

- Dog wins alimony in divorce

- Gorilla asks for dentist

- Nudist resorts fighting for members

- Germans attack - with water balloons ...

Until I saw this: Brits get hot and steamy, but not for sex -
THE first thing that goes through the average Briton's mind on waking up is not making steaming hot love, but a steaming hot cup of tea.

That one that really adds credibility to their reporting.
I believe! I believe!!
posted by dash_slot- at 8:54 AM on August 12, 2004

For comic book geeks: The Tunguska "incident" is at the center of Warren Ellis' (Transmetropolitan, Planetary) new 5 part series "Ultimate Nightmare". I read the first issue last night and am pleased to report that it doesn't suck.
posted by aladfar at 8:55 AM on August 12, 2004

From fark: AFP reports Russian scientists have recovered wreckage of an alien craft at the Tunguska site. Still no cure for cancer; hilarity ensues; etc.
See also: The astrological significance of the Tunguska Event.
posted by leapfrog at 9:43 AM on August 12, 2004

I love this press release. In the middle of the "alien" business we have this:

[the scientists] also claim to have discovered a 50kg rock which they have sent to the Siberian city of Krasnoyarsk for analysis.

Seriously, though, I've been fascinated by Tunguska for a long time, but can't we get past the old The Fire Came By alien mumbo-jumbo?
posted by Songdog at 9:44 AM on August 12, 2004

They *claim* to have discovered a rock. A *50kg* rock. But can we believe these astounding claims? If so, it's the strongest evidence yet for the theory that alien spacecraft are parked in geosynchronous orbit directly above the north pole, waiting for their chance to strike.
posted by sfenders at 10:01 AM on August 12, 2004

why?
posted by matteo at 10:18 AM on August 12, 2004

matteo, you mean?
posted by Peter H at 10:42 AM on August 12, 2004

Just to mess with our heads.
posted by transient at 10:47 AM on August 12, 2004

Geosynchronous orbits, by their nature, cannot park "directly above the north pole". All geosynchronous orbits must either (A) be geostationary directly over a point on the earth's equator or (B) travel north and south of the equator in a figure 8 or teardrop shape. Due to the earth's oblateness, tidal forces, solar wind, magnetic fields, etc, most communications satelites only approximate a geostationary orbit. See here. This has been another fine episode of Ask Dr. Science. < /pedant >
posted by leapfrog at 11:00 AM on August 12, 2004

Leapfrog, you're quite right. Therefore, they cannot *possibly* have found a 50kg rock. This is the strongest evidence yet for the theory that you shouldn't trust sources identified only as "Russian scientists."
posted by sfenders at 11:21 AM on August 12, 2004

So - let me get this straight... you're an alien from a civilization incomparably more advanced than our own. You've traveled hundreds or thousands of light years to get to the remote and boring Russian countryside... And what? You leave the parking break off on your flying saucer and it crashes?
posted by wfrgms at 11:26 AM on August 12, 2004

maybe he had an indash DVD player.
posted by angry modem at 12:13 PM on August 12, 2004

O crap, there's a 50 kg rock in my backyard! It must have been put there by aliens! Aliens, I tell you!
posted by leapfrog at 12:20 PM on August 12, 2004

As covered in the x-files, when Mulder goes to Tunguska to mine for . . . stuff. This is old news.

wfrgms, accidents happen. *shrugs shoulders*
posted by ashbury at 12:23 PM on August 12, 2004

Q: Describe a typical Russian arse-buzzer
A: Won´t fit into your arse and won't buzz

(an old Finnish proverb)
posted by inkeri at 4:41 PM on August 12, 2004

Aliens?

Or Cthulhu?

And what? You leave the parking break off on your flying saucer and it crashes?

Asshole was probably yapping away on the fucking ansible again.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 6:15 PM on August 12, 2004

What the hell is this photo embedded in the Yahoo reprint of the AFP piece supposed to be?

PS I want to believe.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:18 PM on August 12, 2004

This has all got me to thinking... I wonder how many other places that have been the sites of unexplained phenomenon also have rocks? This could explain a lot.
posted by taz at 11:12 PM on August 12, 2004

A worldwide conspiracy of rocks! I for one welcome our new lithic overlords

I've always liked the "Tunguska was a crashed alien spaceship" idea, though admittedly more as backstory for a cheesy SF story or RPG...
posted by hattifattener at 12:52 AM on August 13, 2004

Some unnecessary scientific rebuttal.
posted by Songdog at 9:27 AM on August 13, 2004

taz, I was biking home after dark last night. My bike hit something and I almost fell. I couldn't explain it, but now I'm wondering whether it might have been a rock!
posted by Songdog at 9:28 AM on August 13, 2004

I'd be careful, Songdog. It probably wasn't a rock, but if it was, there's a good chance it will come after you again.
posted by taz at 2:19 AM on August 14, 2004