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Losing sleep over terrorism?
August 19, 2004 8:29 PM   Subscribe

Quantum Sleeper... If I blow $100,000+ on a bed, Sandra Bullock better be in it.
posted by RavinDave (33 comments total)

 
1996 called. They want their reference-hot-chick back. I'm thinking this is a joke, though, right? I mean the sleeper, not Sandra Bullock. Reminds me a little of the coffin with earphones from Bananas. ("it'll go over great in California", says Woody)
posted by condour75 at 8:44 PM on August 19, 2004


I'm not Sandra Bullock, and i sure as hell wouldn't get onto that thing...

All you'd need is "powered by Microsoft" for the not so proverbial nail in the coffin
posted by isol at 8:46 PM on August 19, 2004


Compare: it's not a dresser, it's a Freedom Box!
posted by deanc at 9:09 PM on August 19, 2004


and the link comes full circle!
posted by quonsar at 9:10 PM on August 19, 2004


:s/Sandra Bullock/Jewel Staite/
posted by krisjohn at 9:16 PM on August 19, 2004


I'll feel guilty when the search feature actually works.
posted by RavinDave at 9:18 PM on August 19, 2004


I'll feel guilty when the search feature actually works.

not at all! i thought it was cool enough for its own post. i just thought it was neat the way it surfaced after a bit.
posted by quonsar at 9:26 PM on August 19, 2004


Fear sells. Anything.
posted by stbalbach at 10:14 PM on August 19, 2004


hmmm.... haven't i seen that couple in the onion?
posted by quarsan at 10:28 PM on August 19, 2004


Maybe it's like that old cartoon. Kid has a lemonade stand. Sign on the front says: $50. His mother says he won't sell much at that price. He says he only has to sell one.
posted by RavinDave at 10:34 PM on August 19, 2004


The Quantum Sleeper Unit is a high-level security system designed for maximum protection in various hostile environments

Yes, because people who can afford this POS always live in low-rent, dangerous areas without any home security and so on...


posted by erratic frog at 10:49 PM on August 19, 2004


Geez, on looking at this again:

It's the Hummer of Beds, man.

and: Scary. It's has toiletry.

I think I would rather have a saferoom than a pissready bed with a phone and DVD player. This is just WRONG.

Gods, watch some moron gets locked in his and they find him mummified like in Stargate when the Sarcophagus malfunctions!

*Geezcripes* what will they think of next?
posted by erratic frog at 10:54 PM on August 19, 2004


If I blow $100,000+ on a bed, Sandra Bullock better be in it.
Not only had she better be in it, she better be ready and willing to perform. But then again, maybe this is all a plot to remove the sort of people who would buy these from the gene pool - as soon as you close the lid, it seals itself permanently, disposing of the occupants once and for all. Yeah, it's a slim hope, but better than no hope at all.
posted by dg at 12:02 AM on August 20, 2004


Damn. And I thought I was paranoid for sleeping with a dagger tucked under my mattress.
posted by scarabic at 2:34 AM on August 20, 2004


Is that a dagger in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?
posted by Eekacat at 3:14 AM on August 20, 2004


That's not a knife! This is a knife!

erratic frog: How'd you do this? -> :Þ

WTF character is that? Is that unicode or extended ANSI? I don't think I've ever seen that one before, and I used to have damn near all of the old-school American ANSI extended char set memorized.

posted by loquacious at 4:48 AM on August 20, 2004


Can we lay off the paranoid people? I am tired of MeFi making fun of the wingnuts with serious concerns and wish to feel safe by buying such quality products.
posted by fluffycreature at 5:02 AM on August 20, 2004


5 cls
10 print "Hot chick's name to share $100k bed with?"
20 input name$
30 if name$ = "Drew Barrymore" then goto 40 else goto 50
40 print "Yes," name$ " is very hot! You have great taste in women!"
45 goto 70
50 let name$ = "Drew Barrymore"
60 print "I'm sorry, " name$ "is much more attractive than your choice. What's wrong with you?"
70 end

I'm old school. TRS-80 4-ever. TANDY INSIDE!
posted by Ynoxas at 5:03 AM on August 20, 2004


Sandra Bullock, bloody hell, I want seven Eurasian women and a forklift truck.
posted by alumshubby at 5:27 AM on August 20, 2004


Oh yeah. Forklifts are hot.
posted by John Shaft at 5:59 AM on August 20, 2004


THAT'S a knife

It looks like she got the bed TOO... LATE...
posted by brownpau at 6:20 AM on August 20, 2004


loquacious: it's a colon and a "& THORN ;" (without the spaces, natch) in html. I don't know what if there are equivalents. :Þ
posted by jpoulos at 7:32 AM on August 20, 2004


Panic Room 2: Quantum Sleeper - * * - Jodie Foster gets locked into a safe bed with Forrest Whitaker and a big bag of money. Adult Situations. Cartoon Violence.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:06 AM on August 20, 2004


"Icelandic Thorn" apparently. (mentioned as being transliterated to a "Th" here)
posted by milovoo at 8:28 AM on August 20, 2004


so, an intruder comes into your home, you lock yourself in your bed, and what's to keep them from piling furniture on top of your bed (or hell, just nailing it shut) and having their way with your house?

terror-wise, it's better than plastic and duct tape, I guess.
posted by Busithoth at 9:50 AM on August 20, 2004


ha!

"Power: Unit must have access to house outlet jack (110V) to supply power to the Quantum Sleeper Unit and may be run separately through the floor directly to the unit."

So in other words, no power and you're screwed ... more specifically, you're trapped, right?

Man this stuff reminds me of those pods people stop their lives in to travel through space, or something. With sort of the seventies kinkiness of a waterbed thrown in to make it a party.
posted by Peter H at 12:23 PM on August 20, 2004


50 let name$ = "Drew Barrymore"
60 print "I'm sorry, " name$ "is much more attractive than your choice. What's wrong with you?"


What's wrong with YOU!? Why would you assign "Drew Barrymore" to that variable when you're just going to print it out with some other strings?!


I suppose in the future the constant "Drew Barrymore" might need to change. In that case, we should do something like:

5 cls
7 let hot$="Drew Barrymore"
10 print "Hot chick's name to share $100k bed with?"
20 input name$
30 if name$ = hot$ then goto 40 else goto 50
40 print "Yes," hot$ " is very hot! You have great taste in women!"
45 goto 70
60 print "I'm sorry, " hot$ "is much more attractive than your choice. What's wrong with you?"
70 end

That way, if Drew Barrymore gets a faceful of lye, we can easily change the value. Or even better, we'll implement a web service monitoring the state of Drew Barrymore's hotness (so far as I know, she's still hot, but these things happen) sort of like the Abe Vigoda deathwatch site.
 
posted by sonofsamiam at 12:45 PM on August 20, 2004


erratic frog: How'd you do this? -> :Þ

Hold down: Alt + type 0 (that's a zero) 222 = Þ

:)
posted by erratic frog at 12:55 PM on August 20, 2004


(Oh, I didn't know the fancyass "&;" character for it, sorry. I've always just typed alt+0222 and there you are.)
posted by erratic frog at 12:58 PM on August 20, 2004


þ = þ
posted by snarfodox at 2:53 PM on August 20, 2004


sonofsamiam:

I like how you think. May I suggest we join forces and consider a public offering of whoshouldsleepinmy100thousanddollarbed.com?

Awesome. Early retirement, here I come.

[/1999]
posted by Ynoxas at 3:14 PM on August 20, 2004


I try not to think about BASIC much, but if there's no line 50, does the next line get executed?

<:)
posted by halonine at 6:51 PM on August 20, 2004


Also, the loops cross. Isn't that considered bad, especially in BASIC?
posted by bingo at 8:39 PM on August 21, 2004


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