Fooling the bladder cops
November 9, 2004 9:26 AM Subscribe
Fooling the Bladder cops. Your
best bet at beating a drug test.
Drug screens that do help? Aspirin. Golden seal does not. This is a list of procedures that labs use to detect countermeasures.
Drug screens that do help? Aspirin. Golden seal does not. This is a list of procedures that labs use to detect countermeasures.
The other thing to consider is that drug tests for upper level workers, for example IT workers, are usually blood or hair samples...not urine. I've had countless companies insist that I be willing to be stabbed or have my hair cut for a drug test.
For me, it wasn't worth the invasion of privacy. (I won't pee in a cup either...that's just disgusting.) Companies don't need to know what I do in my off hours and hair and blood tests can reveal significantly more than drug use. DNA testing, testing for illnesses, prescription drugs, and all sorts of other "nunya business" categories.
posted by dejah420 at 10:42 AM on November 9, 2004
For me, it wasn't worth the invasion of privacy. (I won't pee in a cup either...that's just disgusting.) Companies don't need to know what I do in my off hours and hair and blood tests can reveal significantly more than drug use. DNA testing, testing for illnesses, prescription drugs, and all sorts of other "nunya business" categories.
posted by dejah420 at 10:42 AM on November 9, 2004
Usually if you are applying for a job that tests its hires, they inform you the minute you get an interview. But they don't test you until they offer you the job.
Unless you are really heavy (some drugs are stored in fat) or a really heavy user, you should be able to stop using and go on an intense water regimine in order to pass the pee test by the time the interview process is over.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:49 AM on November 9, 2004
Unless you are really heavy (some drugs are stored in fat) or a really heavy user, you should be able to stop using and go on an intense water regimine in order to pass the pee test by the time the interview process is over.
posted by croutonsupafreak at 10:49 AM on November 9, 2004
crouton - yeah but dejah's point still stands (it detects other things they have no business knowing) and is, in general, an ethically bankrupt sort of thing for them to do. I don't like working for ethically bankrupt organizations. Additionally, if they test at hire, they're quite likely going to test at other times. I haven't smoked up in a couple years, but damned if I'll submit to a test for a civillian agency. For some reason, though, I find it less offensive that the .mil tests.
posted by kavasa at 12:27 PM on November 9, 2004
posted by kavasa at 12:27 PM on November 9, 2004
I haven't smoked up in a couple years, but damned if I'll submit to a test for a civillian agency.
Exactly. I hope I will never be so desparate for work that I need to submit to such a test. Credit checks are bad enough -- and are out-and-out absurd, in almost every case -- but hair/blood/pee samples? Forget it.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:47 PM on November 9, 2004
Exactly. I hope I will never be so desparate for work that I need to submit to such a test. Credit checks are bad enough -- and are out-and-out absurd, in almost every case -- but hair/blood/pee samples? Forget it.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:47 PM on November 9, 2004
you should be able to stop using and go on an intense water regimine in order to pass the pee test by the time the interview process is over.
So the tests are not even effective? What's the point then?
I've often wondered if drug tests are really a test to see if people are willing to jump through a hoop.
they'll have to get my pee out of my cold dead......er.....
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:28 PM on November 9, 2004
So the tests are not even effective? What's the point then?
I've often wondered if drug tests are really a test to see if people are willing to jump through a hoop.
they'll have to get my pee out of my cold dead......er.....
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:28 PM on November 9, 2004
Get used to it... Once GCS/MS testing becomes cheap enough, every company is going to use it. Did you know they piss test at Blockbuster, Stop and Shop, Target, and a whole bunch of non-high end jobs? It's not just government workers and high-end jobs.
As for hair vs blood vs pee, a hair test is actually a lot more democratic (for a lack of a better word) than blood or pee. Blood tests, as I understand, only come back positive if the drug is in your system at the time of the test, ie used with in 24 hours of the test. Urine tests are disproportionately unfair to pot smokers, as THC is stored in lipids and takes between 14 and 28 days to completely dissolve. All other major drugs that I know of, including perscriptions, are not lipid-soluble. Hair tests can detect use within, I think, a 6 month period for just about anything.
you should be able to stop using and go on an intense water regimine in order to pass the pee test by the time the interview process is over.
This is untrue. Drinking a lot of water will not reduce the amounts of THC stored in your fat. Drinking a lot of water only serves to dilute the amount of "happy minerals" (again, for a lack of a better term) that you pee out. This has the effect of making your pee clear, and from what I understand, tests can be rejected for having too high a water-to-happy minerals ratio, or if the pee isn't yellow enough.
A better way to do it is to take a bunch of vitamin E the day of the test, drink 1 to 2 gallons of water, and pee 3 to 4 times before you even get to the test. Because the THC tends to build up in your urine over night, your pee will have a higher count in the morning than other times. If you flush your system with water, you'll get rid of most of the minerals and have a higher percentage of water in your urine. The vitamin e serves to give your urine that nice golden color that the testers look for...
posted by SweetJesus at 1:44 PM on November 9, 2004
As for hair vs blood vs pee, a hair test is actually a lot more democratic (for a lack of a better word) than blood or pee. Blood tests, as I understand, only come back positive if the drug is in your system at the time of the test, ie used with in 24 hours of the test. Urine tests are disproportionately unfair to pot smokers, as THC is stored in lipids and takes between 14 and 28 days to completely dissolve. All other major drugs that I know of, including perscriptions, are not lipid-soluble. Hair tests can detect use within, I think, a 6 month period for just about anything.
you should be able to stop using and go on an intense water regimine in order to pass the pee test by the time the interview process is over.
This is untrue. Drinking a lot of water will not reduce the amounts of THC stored in your fat. Drinking a lot of water only serves to dilute the amount of "happy minerals" (again, for a lack of a better term) that you pee out. This has the effect of making your pee clear, and from what I understand, tests can be rejected for having too high a water-to-happy minerals ratio, or if the pee isn't yellow enough.
A better way to do it is to take a bunch of vitamin E the day of the test, drink 1 to 2 gallons of water, and pee 3 to 4 times before you even get to the test. Because the THC tends to build up in your urine over night, your pee will have a higher count in the morning than other times. If you flush your system with water, you'll get rid of most of the minerals and have a higher percentage of water in your urine. The vitamin e serves to give your urine that nice golden color that the testers look for...
posted by SweetJesus at 1:44 PM on November 9, 2004
Borders and HalfPriceBooks :) Both piss test free! Apply today!
posted by Satapher at 2:25 PM on November 9, 2004
posted by Satapher at 2:25 PM on November 9, 2004
Beware saliva tests!
posted by LouReedsSon at 6:55 PM on November 9, 2004
posted by LouReedsSon at 6:55 PM on November 9, 2004
"a hair test is actually a lot more democratic (for a lack of a better word)"
I think you needed a better word there...
posted by Irontom at 5:27 AM on November 10, 2004
I think you needed a better word there...
posted by Irontom at 5:27 AM on November 10, 2004
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Thus a person with a high fiber diet will excrete a majority of THC [metabolites] in the stool" (anon1). A fiber-based laxitive will also help by binding bile-acids.
I didn't know that -- is it true?
posted by matteo at 10:07 AM on November 9, 2004