poor babies

December 10, 2004 6:20 PM

An Epidemic! A kinda-not-so-scientific study of the celebrity "exhaustion" epidemic, from the NY Observer: There was no discernible difference in recovery time for patients who smoked and had sex with visitors (19.9 percent), but fatigue levels remained consistently high in patients who drank large amounts of wine and cried more than four hours per day (22.3 percent). Poor little Lindsay Lohan, working herself into the hospital--a modern-day little match girl, no?
posted by amberglow (14 comments total)

Lindsay fights fatigue the old fashioned way: a purseful of pure Peruvian powder.
posted by dhoyt at 6:46 PM on December 10, 2004

Ah, those halcyon daze of Cocaine in Hollywood are getting trendy again...or maybe it never left?
posted by alteredcarbon at 7:03 PM on December 10, 2004

exhaustion is a dangerous condition that can literally eat holes in your nose.
posted by quonsar at 7:07 PM on December 10, 2004

I am, shocked, by this out, of, control behavior.
posted by stonerose at 7:14 PM on December 10, 2004

i wonder if her and Britney ever get together for cheetos and blow parties? (and that golden fiddle site is great! thanks, dhoyt)
posted by amberglow at 7:18 PM on December 10, 2004

These poor, poor, poor people, whoever is forcing them to work too hard, party too hard and crash too hard should stop.

Oh, what's that? These people have millions of dollars and are doing it to themselves?

Well then, just don't kill anyone else as you flame out.
posted by fenriq at 8:04 PM on December 10, 2004

I think the "article" is a joke. If not, it should be.
posted by davy at 8:11 PM on December 10, 2004

Cocaine never went away, but somehow, it's back with a vengeance... at least in my sleepy little burg. It's like it's snowing here year-round.
posted by TheGoldenOne at 8:21 PM on December 10, 2004

Speaking of the party people, these 24-hour party people might be able to offer some advice on the slow lane in the fast life. (Salon.com link, sorry)
posted by vhsiv at 8:33 PM on December 10, 2004

Um...I think davy is right...

Anybody feeling a little "Onioned" at the moment?

And the reference to Carrottop as a "tired" celebrity was priceless.
posted by 1016 at 8:44 PM on December 10, 2004

of course it's a joke--it's good, no?
posted by amberglow at 9:35 PM on December 10, 2004

Here's hoping that the list of casualties is a long one!

Zing!
posted by Plinko at 9:58 PM on December 10, 2004

Wow, anyone reading this and not grasping immediately that it is satire better get a humor check-up STAT!

My favorite part: "Try that and you’ll wish you were Earl Holliman." For the rest of the day, I am going to wish I was Earl Holliman-- in fact, I may make December 11 the official "I Wish I Was Earl Holliman" Holiday.

*Makes note in calendar.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:18 AM on December 11, 2004

Lindsay Lohan will be starring in Herbie: Fully Loaded.

Makes sense, no?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 9:47 AM on December 11, 2004