IEDs vs. Wookiees

December 18, 2004 9:52 AM

Rumsfeld, shmumsfeld. Indiana Jones to the rescue in The Battle for Falluja. "Militarily, the battle of Falluja was an unqualified success," says Bing West, the former assistant defense secretary whose not-yet-published book will be turned into the fast-paced actioner.
posted by digaman (38 comments total)

Harrison Ford - John McCain '08

Who couldn't trust that guy?
posted by Balisong at 9:55 AM on December 18, 2004

Can we get Karl Rove to play Jabba the Hut?
posted by AlexReynolds at 9:56 AM on December 18, 2004

This can't be true
posted by TetrisKid at 9:57 AM on December 18, 2004

"Meet me at Omar's. Be ready for me. I'm going after that truck."
posted by digaman at 10:00 AM on December 18, 2004

Some more realistic info here.
posted by bingo at 10:04 AM on December 18, 2004

It's true.

In the CNN article, it mentions John Wayne's ill-fated Green Berets film in 1968 that was about Vietnam. The opening paragraph from Ebert's review, " "The Green Berets" simply will not do as a film about the war in Vietnam. It is offensive not only to those who oppose American policy but even to those who support it. At this moment in our history, locked in the longest and one of the most controversial wars we have ever fought, what we certainly do not need is a movie depicting Vietnam in terms of cowboys and Indians. That is cruel and dishonest and unworthy of the thousands who have died there."
posted by Arch Stanton at 10:06 AM on December 18, 2004

Good link, Arch. From the Green Berets: "Out here, due process is a bullet."
posted by inksyndicate at 10:10 AM on December 18, 2004

?!?
posted by absalom at 10:20 AM on December 18, 2004

Is it just me, or is flying all over the world shooting at people wholesale a little, well, last century?

Don't we have better, more efficient ways of dealing with people we don't like? Embargoes, assassination, insurgencies, contras?

I mean, shit, if we can totally destroy Latin America with only a couple invasions, surely we can take out all of the Middle East using similar techniques?

I suppose my problem is that for what's supposedly the most advanced country in the world, we have amazingly unsubtle methods of enforcing our will. I'm not even arguing morals or ethics here (personally, I don't think we should be involved in this war, but have no overall opposition to them in general), I'm arguing techniques.
posted by Netzapper at 10:32 AM on December 18, 2004

Oh, but now we have UAVs, situational awareness, and even "non-lethal" turban-searing Death Rays!!! Those gnarly dewds don't stand a chance. Unless they fight back with, like, rakes and bombs or something.
posted by digaman at 10:42 AM on December 18, 2004

Am I the only (movie review reading American) person who didn' realize that Ebert was writing reviews since the '60s? As for this potential Ford movie, seriously, please Hollywood realize there's too much yet to come in terms of Fallujah (still not anywhere near a settled situation) and Iraq to be doing this story.
posted by billsaysthis at 11:04 AM on December 18, 2004

I thought Harrison Ford was a Buddhist, where's the nirvana in this?
posted by gsb at 11:28 AM on December 18, 2004

Nirvana, in Sanskrit, means 'extinction.'
posted by digaman at 11:36 AM on December 18, 2004

I thought it was "release from suffering."

Oh, wait a minute...
posted by gsb at 11:56 AM on December 18, 2004

Synonyms. "Extinction" of desire.
posted by digaman at 11:59 AM on December 18, 2004

Heeeeey. Is someone finally being out front about this war being a remake of Raiders of the Lost Ark?

Just have faith. Believe. And step into the chasm.


(Or was that Temple of Doom? They all look the same to me.)
posted by telstar at 12:02 PM on December 18, 2004

Last Crusade. Except it doesn't seem that the bridge is there.
posted by Arch Stanton at 12:30 PM on December 18, 2004

Brace for the incoming hollyvuud librul venting
posted by elpapacito at 12:42 PM on December 18, 2004

I hope they bring in the sword vs. gun scene from Raiders.
posted by Krrrlson at 12:42 PM on December 18, 2004

Wayne's Green Berets wasn't about the real Vietnam. It was about an imaginary Vietnam that differed so far from reality that in Wayne's Vietnam, the sun set in the East. (Check the final scene). This is the case with many if not most war movies, and I expect no different from Bing West's.

Thanks for posting the link to the Ebert review.
posted by wadefranklin at 12:45 PM on December 18, 2004

Indiana Jones and the councelling session.
posted by telstar at 1:11 PM on December 18, 2004

I hope they bring in the sword vs. gun scene from Raiders.

The whole war has been that scene. It seems to work better in the movies.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 1:16 PM on December 18, 2004

I've got an upcoming book about the invasion of Syria North Korea Iran in the works. It'd be perfect for Brad Pitt Colin Farrell Joaquin Phoenix. Anyone wanna option it?
posted by fungible at 1:59 PM on December 18, 2004

I thought Harrison Ford was a Buddhist, where's the nirvana in this?

I think you're thinking of Richard Gere. Ford finds his personal nirvana in the chronic.
posted by Flem Snopes at 2:59 PM on December 18, 2004

In Sanskrit, and in Hindu rather than Buddhist thought, the concept of ultimate release from the cycle of incarnation is "moksha." This is analogous to "nirvana" in Buddhist parlance.

Given Ford's previous role in Apocalypse Now", his new turn will have a certain irony.
posted by rdone at 3:25 PM on December 18, 2004

Is Ford really known for smoking roaches? I didn't know that.
posted by inksyndicate at 5:04 PM on December 18, 2004

I can see how this could be truly poopy. But on the other hand I thought Black Hawk Down was well done, captured a bit of the subtleties, and this from Ridley "Hollywood" Scott, no less.

In Black Hawk, they avoid the political story entirely by immersing the viewer in the soldier's viewpoint.
posted by BleachBypass at 5:15 PM on December 18, 2004

I really disliked Black Hawk Down, and so I'm not surprised at all that they're making another one. IMHO that kind of movie is monstrous in its own way, because in avoiding the "political story" they're dehumanizing the subject, and leaving us with some fun fast-paced shoot-em-up action and ignoring all the human lives it actually cost.
posted by mek at 6:14 PM on December 18, 2004

I hope the screenwriters have a crystal ball, because as of today NPR was reporting ongoing fighting in Fallujah. It ain't over yet.
posted by bardic at 6:25 PM on December 18, 2004

Here we go again; Hypocritical Hollywood bashes Bush and the war in Iraq while waiting for the perfect opportunity to cash in on it. I will never pay to see this.
posted by wuchoogundonow at 6:26 PM on December 18, 2004

The real insight for me from Black Hawk Down is that for the soldiers, the larger politics don't matter. The book falls apart when Bowden tries to tie the immediate story to larger implications of foreign policy (they're there, he just wasn't up to it). The Frontline doc included on the DVD is a bit better on context, but it's strength is the viewpoint of the soldiers.

Until I see it a writer and director attached that screams SUCK (Michael Bay, or say Roland Emmerich), I remain on the fence, tho Han Solo doesn't bode well...

...fun fast-paced shoot-em-up?

As in, shelve between Commando and Delta Force II (Electric Boogaloo)? Please.
posted by BleachBypass at 6:49 PM on December 18, 2004

[this is sickening]
posted by interrobang at 6:57 PM on December 18, 2004

Black Hawk Down sounds like the right model, but this time, instead of Night of the Living Africans, it'll be Night of the Living Arabs. Either way, a tight-knit group of plucky but naive young heroes will find the true meaning of comradeship as they mow down wave after wave of faceless hordes. Should make a bundle.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 7:42 PM on December 18, 2004

The whole war has been that scene. It seems to work better in the movies.

You mean the war was supposed to be that scene.
posted by Krrrlson at 9:51 PM on December 18, 2004

Given that I correspond regularly and have become friends of several people who served at Fallujah, I'm just aghast that someone like Harrison Ford would do a movie like this.

Want to know what Fallujah was like? Read what some of my LJ friends in the military had to say.
(1 , 2, 3 )

This war masturbation film is just an awful way to depict the worst, most horrific day in the lives of so many young Americans.
posted by insomnia_lj at 12:40 AM on December 19, 2004

This war masturbation film is just an awful way to depict the worst, most horrific day in the lives of so many young Americans.

Fuck the Americans. I'm told it wasn't so pleasant for the Iraqis either.
posted by salmacis at 1:49 AM on December 19, 2004

insomnia_lj: Thanks for those links... I think.

It is one thing to suspect what a clusterfuck the whole mess is, and another thing entirely to hear it from somebody who has lived it. The cost to the people involved has only begun.

salamacis: You seem to think the American soldiers involved are lesser victims of this disaster why? Because they have superior firepower? Please distinguish between the Americans who are there and the Americans who put them there.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 5:11 AM on December 19, 2004

I think it was the use of the the word "Americans" in the original comment that got his goat, actually. If you're not actually from the United States the word loses a lot of its rhetorical power. If you mentally replace it with the word "Belgians" you'll see what I mean.

Not historically accurate, I'll admit, but your response to the phrase "the worst, most horrific day in the lives of so many young Belgians" is probably "so what?"

Not a very nice day for a lot of people, some of whom were from the United States and a lot of whom were locals. As i_lj's links point out.

Personally I tend to lend more of my best wishes to the invaded rather than the invaders, particularly when they're so outgunned, but I accept that that's probably just sentimentality.

(And yes I make an exception for 1944-45)
posted by Grangousier at 9:13 AM on December 19, 2004