Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

December 23, 2004 4:43 PM

JewelEye. A jewel that is placed inside your eye. Ooch. [Webpage is slow because it contains two huge pictures.]
posted by kika (57 comments total)

pleasebefakepleasebefakepleasebefake
posted by bdk3clash at 4:49 PM on December 23, 2004

Not fake. Was on the news in the UK a few months back.

Still gross.
posted by Mwongozi at 4:56 PM on December 23, 2004

Double post.

(I searched 'implant')
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:57 PM on December 23, 2004

You'll put your eye out!
posted by bigbigdog at 4:59 PM on December 23, 2004

Thanks. Now I know what my next 4 late-night-snack induced nightmares are going to revolve around.
posted by selfnoise at 5:11 PM on December 23, 2004

Can anyone shrink these pics down? They're just taking too long to download...
posted by PigAlien at 5:13 PM on December 23, 2004

Unutterably stupid.
posted by fenriq at 5:22 PM on December 23, 2004

Holy crap, here we go again.
posted by loquacious at 5:29 PM on December 23, 2004

Ugh. What is the world coming to?

A few months ago I read an article about a club in Brazil or the Netherlands where members had their "memberships" injected into them and they could order drinks by waving their finger and the bartender would scan their finger with a barcode reader and it would be added to their tab. People were paying to have the thing embedded in their flesh and there was a fee to have it removed! I thought was one of the stupidest things I'd ever seen until following this link.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 5:30 PM on December 23, 2004

For the curious: pic 1 / pic 2

(Christ, is that site slow.)
posted by neckro23 at 5:34 PM on December 23, 2004

Oh, my sweet mother of pearl. This is one of my biggest nightmares made into a "fashion accessory."

Do you want to know what my other biggest nightmare potential body modification is? It's really squicky, so I'm going to spoiler it:

squick
squick
squick
squick

It's the idea that people would purposefully cultivate maggots or other parasites in open wounds as a body modification.

squick
squick
squick
squick
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:34 PM on December 23, 2004

And when someone sustains some sort of injury to the eye and this thing is dislodged and blinds them... I wonder what they'll think of this absolutely craptacular idea.
posted by mstefan at 5:35 PM on December 23, 2004

Thanks, neckro! Okay, if you're going to get something implanted in your freaking EYE, then for Baal's sake have it be something a little EDGIER than a damned VALENTINE HEART!
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:35 PM on December 23, 2004

I'm waiting for the light emitting diode implants- glowy eyes.

Oh, and gene splicing so I can have phosphorescent skin, perhaps being linked to my moods.

Real ribopunk stuff. This is so.... pedestrian.

Oh and sidhedevil: do people really do that? That's like keeping a pet bot-fly larva in your arm.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:39 PM on December 23, 2004

God, I hope this never catches on in a big way.

I hope the same thing for cloning pets, but we all know how stupid people can be.
posted by Plinko at 5:41 PM on December 23, 2004

... well, I think they're pretty cool. But yeah, waiting for glow in the dark, UV &c &c :D
posted by Drexen at 5:44 PM on December 23, 2004

Hmmm. I wonder how many opticians think this is a good idea. I'm betting on ... not many. At least if you're going to run the risk of shoving something in your eye it should be something functional and suitably coolly cyberpunkish.
posted by kaemaril at 5:50 PM on December 23, 2004

The nest of eye veins wrapped around the heart make it hardcore. Very hardcore.
posted by mmcg at 6:08 PM on December 23, 2004

re the two pictures, waaay above: chop, chop, smells like photoshop
posted by seawallrunner at 6:15 PM on December 23, 2004

Hey, don't knock maggots. Some only eat necrotized flesh, so they're keeping that wound clean!
posted by mendel at 6:16 PM on December 23, 2004

No, nobody ever does that with the maggots, larvae, etc.

Yet.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:25 PM on December 23, 2004

Just... eww.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:31 PM on December 23, 2004

You know, for being a bunch of open minded big tent progressives, we sure can sound like a bunch of hard assed busy bodies sometimes.

Does this sound stupid to me? Sure. Does it sound moderately dangerous and ill-advised, yeah.

But so fucking what! Nobody is going to hold someone down and force them to get one of these. Some people like weird shit. Some people like to cliff dive, some like to bike in traffic, and some people like to do body modification. Its not for me, but the judgmental smell I get out of this thread leaves me confused.

If your okay with people making their own decisions, about their sexuality, their religion or their hobbies, why mock something like this that clearly is a free choice.

In my brand of liberalism, if it isn't hurting anybody else, then I don't care if its stupid, you can do whatever you want.

I really see a pretty slippery slope once we start classifying behavior into 'okay' and 'not okay'

Let the freaks be freaks and enjoy the diversity instead of making judgements about it.
posted by PissOnYourParade at 6:40 PM on December 23, 2004

I'm not mocking it (except for the choice to get an extreme body modification of the SQUAREST THING ON EARTH)--it really squicks me out.

Everyone should be free to do it, but I should be free to be squicked by it, and express my squickitude.

And putting adornments in your eyeballs just seems stupid (by which I mean, "unwise, ill-advised", not "aesthetically unpleasing") to me. In the entire history of the world, no culture has ever had a tradition of eyeball-adornment. There is a reason for that.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:53 PM on December 23, 2004

Well, at least in my case, I'm not saying it's "not okay", I'm actually saying it's not going far enough, and it's a wee bit cheesy. This is going to be the new Flash Tattoo of tweety bird, or the "I'm Graduating High School Vanity Nose Job/Breast Augmentation" It's like the little charms you find on children's sneakers.

I'm all about diversity, but this just seems, well, lame. But just because I mock, doesn't mean I don't think that people should have a right to do it.

I admit that I might be a little bit snobbish, and I certainly do lots of things that other people might consider stupid or unhealthy.

On Preview, what sidhedevil said about the L7-est thing on earth.
posted by exlotuseater at 6:58 PM on December 23, 2004

Sidhedevil: eyeball adornment
posted by neckro23 at 6:59 PM on December 23, 2004

I'm with exlotuseater...it's actually pretty cool as far as the concept goes, but if you're going to go to all that trouble, I would think you'd want something more interesting than a heart, a star, or a ring. And it should definitely glow in the dark.
posted by bingo at 7:04 PM on December 23, 2004

This reminds me of tooth jewels. Same cheesiness factor, but more dangerous.

I wouldn't get it done, but if they could pull off something more interesting and unique than these charm bracelet shapes I might find it a little more attractive and bearable.

on preview, what bingo said.
posted by mayfly wake at 7:13 PM on December 23, 2004

Hee! So, neckro23, you call that "culture"?
posted by Sidhedevil at 7:13 PM on December 23, 2004

On second thought, I'm not at all above ridicule, especially when its for something so incredibly stupid.

I think that people should be free to do any dumb ass thing they want, and I'm free to point and laugh at them.

Sounds perfect to me.
posted by PissOnYourParade at 7:16 PM on December 23, 2004

Hmmm. I wonder how many opticians think this is a good idea. I'm betting on ... not many.

On Canadian Discovery channel Jay Ingram interviewed a optician about this. She was negative about the process but admitted once it's in place the jewelry probably wouldn't pose any problems, since there have been cases of people having had debris accidently embedded near the surface of the eyeball for years without problem.
posted by bobo123 at 7:22 PM on December 23, 2004

Yeah, no trouble from one of these things at all. Well, until you need an emergency MRI of your skull.
posted by Dreama at 7:42 PM on December 23, 2004

Dreama: The implant is made of a specially designed material that can be molded in all kinds of desired shapes and sizes.

I don't think MRI is a problem- it would appear that this isn't magnetic. Probably some sort of flexible plastic.
posted by exlotuseater at 7:47 PM on December 23, 2004

They're just trying to top this guy.
posted by MrBadExample at 8:03 PM on December 23, 2004

"In the Netherlands, a Cosmetic Extraocular Implant is not considered a medical device."

Implying what, everywhere else it is?
posted by DV8 2XL at 8:34 PM on December 23, 2004

I saw a study in which they tried to find out if the iron in tattoos would react to an MRI.

It doesn't, FYI.

I'm waiting for eye tattoos, screw this charm shit.
posted by craven_morhead at 8:43 PM on December 23, 2004

Sidhedevil, I was making the half-assed snarkish point that our culture already does have a "tradition" of eyeball-adornment, of sorts. There just aren't any knives involved.
posted by neckro23 at 8:45 PM on December 23, 2004

craven_morhead

was that study called "Mythbusters"? That was a good one.
posted by puke & cry at 9:06 PM on December 23, 2004

I got you, neckro23. I was making the half-assed snarkish point that any culture in which people spend good money on contact lenses to change their eye color is not really much of a "culture".
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:10 PM on December 23, 2004

Isn't this like the 19,000 time I've heard about this? It was even in the NY Times "Idea" issue. That's a pretty sure idea that it's over as a fad.
posted by fungible at 9:20 PM on December 23, 2004

Okay, I was tempted to post this to the front page, but I'm afraid it's too tasteless. So, if some people think eye jewelry is bizarre, THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? (Not remotely safe for work, or anywhere else for that matter.) Happy holidays!
posted by fungible at 9:34 PM on December 23, 2004

argh!! fungible... that was gross... and I was on my company's VPN too!! (didn't see the parenthetical NSFW before I clicked).
posted by yossarian1 at 10:14 PM on December 23, 2004

ok fungible. wtf does that have to do with this thread exactly?
posted by puke & cry at 10:41 PM on December 23, 2004

Body mods. Insane people. I just saw that and said, what the hell motivates these people? Same thought everyone had about eye jewelry. I think it's relevant; be glad I didn't put it in an Iraq thread.

BTW, your nickname sums up my reaction. And I warned you, yossarian.
posted by fungible at 11:19 PM on December 23, 2004

hmm. while I think this modification is kinda freaky.. It reminds me of Intacts -- where they insert plastic half-rings to modify the shape of your cornea so that nearsighted ppl can see better. I think it would be kinda neat to have implanted things in my eyes, as long as they were functional and improved my eyesight....
posted by mhh5 at 12:05 AM on December 24, 2004

I have a silicone band sewn around the back of both my eyes to change the eye shape slightly and help stabilize my retinas .
While I would NEVER mess around with the eye I can see with, I have always thought an implant in my non-functional eye would be cool. especially one that could beam out light through my permanently dilated right pupil. (not so much a weapon "target" aspect/look but just a diffuse light that you can change the colour of)
posted by edgeways at 12:17 AM on December 24, 2004

edgeways, I would go for the red laser pointer/targeting look. The diffuse light wouldn't have the same effect on bystanders.

How about a visibly faceted internal structure with multi-colored LEDs inside, so the gem would glow with changing colors?

That beats tats and piercings any day.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 6:34 AM on December 24, 2004

I wouldn't get it done, but if they could pull off something more interesting and unique than these charm bracelet shapes I might find it a little more attractive and bearable.

Lightening bolt?
Skull?
Smith & Wesson?
Confederate Flag?
Big John Toilet Seat?
Eyeball with Implant?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:53 AM on December 24, 2004

I wouldn't get it done, but if they could pull off something more interesting and unique than these charm bracelet shapes I might find it a little more attractive and bearable.

Goatse?
posted by fandango_matt at 10:26 AM on December 24, 2004

MeFi user numbers?
posted by bingo at 10:42 AM on December 24, 2004

My wife had this done and wrote about it earlier this year (she's the first American to have it done). There's some video of it at that link as well. Hers is placed a little far out from the iris, it's not quite as visible as would be ideal.

If her eyes get dry the implant gets a bit irritated but other than that it's trouble free... Calcium deposits build up in that part of the eye (in all people) with age so our bodies have evolved to be able to handle this sort of thing...
posted by glider at 11:05 AM on December 24, 2004

The name of the business is Hippocratech. Get it, "Hippocratic"? The Hippocratic Oath for doctors? First, do no harm.
posted by intermod at 1:03 PM on December 24, 2004

They had that debate back in the 60s when they were deciding whether cosmetic surgery was harm or healing... for a long time those doctors had to work underground and were scorned by their peers.

That said, these "eyeball implants" are far safer than things like breast implants. I assume there are few people seeking to have those banned...
posted by glider at 3:57 PM on December 25, 2004

it's always a laugh!
posted by dickumbrage at 5:14 PM on December 25, 2004

If it could interface directly with my optic nerve...
posted by 235w103 at 11:18 PM on December 25, 2004

Edgeways:

I hope this isn't an offensive question, but if you have a completely non-functional eye, what is to prevent you having it removed and using a glass eye instead? In the case of a glass eye, you could make pretty much any mods you want.
posted by Bugbread at 4:31 AM on December 26, 2004

glider, I read the link, very interesting, thanks. Isn't Holland great?
posted by bingo at 9:14 AM on December 26, 2004