Operators are standing by?

January 19, 2005 7:42 AM

Hitman.us is certainly a parody, offering, for a reasonable $20,000 fee, to remove the unwanted from your life. One of the rotating ads on the site, however, points to bustoutdealer.com (registered under the same name), which, with a fee under $4,000, looks like it may be serious.
posted by nobody (16 comments total)

Where, exactly, does bustoutdealer.com mention anything about removing the unwanted from your life? Unless I've missed something, Hitman is about killing people for money. Bustout Dealer is about cheating in blackjack. Or did you not mean to imply that they offered the same service?
posted by ThePrawn at 7:49 AM on January 19, 2005

I don't think he meant to imply that, but it was implied nonetheless.

Either way, I'm glad I now know about these two sites. Thanks, nobody!
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 7:57 AM on January 19, 2005

I did come off as a bit of an ingrate--they are good links for my "oddly out there" folder. Thanks.
posted by ThePrawn at 8:03 AM on January 19, 2005

No problem, Prawn. I do seem to be guilty of an over-zealous and imprecise segue. I meant only to point out that it was interesting that of these two sites -- both of which have underworld/mafia themes, both of which are registered under the same company name -- one would be fake and the other, to my eye, real.
posted by nobody at 8:17 AM on January 19, 2005

The second does appear to be legit--unless this is faked, I'm a believer.
posted by ThePrawn at 8:32 AM on January 19, 2005

The old link in my ten-year old bookmarks didn't work, but I found a copy of the Hit Man On-Line. It quotes a minimum price of $30k / job, and that's 1983 dollars. Maybe that's why they need to put banner ads on their site, even though they're very accomplished Hitmen.

As an aside, does anyone know of a website for the conversion of money then (e.g., 1983 dollars) to money now?
posted by Eideteker at 8:52 AM on January 19, 2005

According to the CPI Inflation Calculator $30k in 1983 is worth about $55,410 in 2003 (the nearest year the calculator can figure).
posted by PantsOfSCIENCE at 9:01 AM on January 19, 2005

There are a lot of countries where you can get that service for a mere US$100.
But of course, I don't think they take Paypal.
posted by kadmilos at 9:21 AM on January 19, 2005

i like that hitman proudly displays the mastercard logo. visa may be everywhere you want to be, but it's mastercard for everyone you want to kill!

hitman, $20,000.
getting rid of your next door neighbor's ugly shirt forever, priceless.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:36 AM on January 19, 2005

Hell, find the right person in this country, you can get it done for one hit's worth of crack.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 9:56 AM on January 19, 2005

Damn man, Bustout Dealer is friggin expensive. $650/$1250 just to be fake cheated? I think I'd rather spend that money at a real casino (not that I would, I'm not a gambler).
posted by Edible Energy at 10:07 AM on January 19, 2005

Hell, find the right person in this country, you can get it done for one hit's worth of crack.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 12:56 PM EST on January 19

No you can't. People addicted to crack are desperate, but not unaware of what things are worth. In general the crack economy is about 10% of what things are worth in a store. It would take much more than one rock to get it done.
posted by OmieWise at 10:18 AM on January 19, 2005

I spoke to Igor, the "Bustout Dealer", while arranging a friend's bachelor party last year (we hired a straight poker dealer instead). He's real, I have his business card. Nice guy too.
posted by nicwolff at 10:18 AM on January 19, 2005

Q: What happens if I change my mind after I've already sent my deposit?
A: Your deposit is a commitment... to pay-out the remaining balance. Should you fail to settle your outstanding balance by the agreed-upon time, we cary out a second hit, free of charge.

Ha.
posted by nearo at 1:08 PM on January 19, 2005

No you can't. People addicted to crack are desperate, but not unaware of what things are worth. In general the crack economy is about 10% of what things are worth in a store. It would take much more than one rock to get it done.

Hahaha, makes me think of DBAMTSCWDYJITH and giving directions. Now I wanna go into the 'dirty bomb' thread and ask, "Do. We. Have. A. Problem?"
posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 3:05 PM on January 19, 2005

It's a good idea -- private enterprise generally does a much better job than inefficient, no-incentive public centralised decision making. Letting the market decide who lives and dies would be a *much* more efficient way of using society's resources.

The real question is, do these hit men have skills? I only like hitmen with skills. You know, nunchuck skills, ninja skills, computer hacking skills....
posted by namespan at 11:31 PM on January 20, 2005