tastes like chicken (FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL)

February 8, 2005 7:38 AM

Now With 42% More Death Wish! Tipping out the contents of the plastic wrapper onto my rice seemed to make a noise that sounded almost like colooostommy baaaag but I ignored it and took a bite. Rather good.
posted by naomi (25 comments total)

"The extent to which Japan provides for those who just cannot be fucked to cook in any way whatsoever, is very nearly frightening in scope."

what??? No matter how I twist my head, it can NOT wrap around this sentence.
posted by HuronBob at 7:54 AM on February 8, 2005

fucked=bothered
posted by Armitage Shanks at 7:56 AM on February 8, 2005

It's like Lileks meets Engrish meets The Amateur Gourmet, all hepped up on Chicken Dust...
posted by tpl1212 at 8:02 AM on February 8, 2005

[this is good]
posted by anastasiav at 8:10 AM on February 8, 2005

Natto was my nemesis. Nice stuff, cheers, naomi!
posted by carter at 8:28 AM on February 8, 2005

My favorite post would definitely have to be the latest. Reminds me of the small intenstines of a rat.

Don't ask.
posted by Plinko at 8:33 AM on February 8, 2005

I remember hearing about one of the comments during the Iron Chef Natto battle (probably somewhere on Mefi) "They've done a good job of suppressing the smell of the natto". Never tried it, doubt I ever will.
posted by phirleh at 8:38 AM on February 8, 2005

I like just about anything, and I'm fascinated by soy even more, but I have to say that natto is something I will never eat again. Unlike the writer, I found the taste to be worse than the smell.
posted by OmieWise at 8:57 AM on February 8, 2005

This is like the Bad Candy of Japanese food.

Perhaps some Chaca Chaca and Fizzy Milk for your bento?
posted by OhPuhLeez at 9:00 AM on February 8, 2005

The farts from natto must be devastating.
posted by mischief at 9:15 AM on February 8, 2005

The best part about nattou is the stirring. Stirring changes nattou from a sicky mass of fermented beans into a frothing bubbling miasma of fermented beans, which, when eaten, will leave sicky stands of bean mucus dangling from your chin.
posted by TheSpook at 9:26 AM on February 8, 2005

There is not nearly enough Charles Bronson on this page for my liking.
posted by StopMakingSense at 9:28 AM on February 8, 2005

I think the worst part of natto is not eating it, but riding in the subway squished next to someone who had it for breakfast. Natto breath can melt plastic.
posted by Alison at 9:43 AM on February 8, 2005

One natto handroll can gag an entire table,
plus they can't look away while you eat it.
It's very entertaining.
posted by the Real Dan at 9:59 AM on February 8, 2005

This site is supremely entertaining, thanks!

Another lovely description of natto.
posted by Specklet at 10:08 AM on February 8, 2005

Natto is completely loathsome. I had hoped that it was one of those things that smells and looks disgusting, but is actually quite enjoyable to eat--like durian or something. I was wrong.
posted by apis mellifera at 10:52 AM on February 8, 2005

The one time I sent my brother out to get some miso paste at the Japanese grocery, he came back with two packages of natto. I never trusted him again.

I wonder... Would restaurant natto be any better than grocery natto? One of our (Canadian) sensei got talked into trying it (by a Japanese sensei, of course) at a restaurant, and he said he liked it fine. Of course, no one else dared, not even the Japanese sensei.
posted by splice at 11:30 AM on February 8, 2005

This douchebag is scared of freakin cheese. I therefore dismiss anything he has to say. I mean, if he thinks the height of culinary ballsiness is to eat hardcore bleu cheese, he's operating on training wheels.

Not only does he diss cheese, he first disses ALL fermented foods. This means he has officially put the kaibosh on BEER. BEER. The people rest.
posted by spicynuts at 11:34 AM on February 8, 2005

BEER?!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:07 PM on February 8, 2005

Yeah....beer is fermented hops. Duh.
posted by spicynuts at 12:23 PM on February 8, 2005

Yeah....beer is fermented hops. Duh.

Uh, no, beer is fermented malt sugar. The hops are there purely for flavoring, e.g. you don't actually have to add hops during brewing or fermentation, you could choose to simply dry-hop the beer immediately before serving., and it would still be beer, but omit the malt and you ain't got nuthin'.

Duh.
posted by kcds at 3:03 PM on February 8, 2005

word spicynuts (>_<)...miso is also made of fermented soybeans, and it's got a gentle taste few seem to find loathsome. this guy has to be cajoled into eating a cheeseburger, gawd.

oh, but natto? das' jus' some nasty sh*t. he did get that right.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 6:03 PM on February 8, 2005

Weenies. Come to Korea sometime, I'll show you nasty food.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:56 PM on February 8, 2005

whatever kcds, you got my point.
posted by spicynuts at 7:15 PM on February 8, 2005

Sure, I got your point, but if you're gonna Duh someone, you ought to make sure you've basically, you know, got your facts, like, right. Or whatever.
posted by kcds at 7:50 AM on February 9, 2005