Poor Little Rich Dog

February 9, 2005 8:48 PM

Poor little Daisy Moshammer...After a life of leisure, immortalized on the arm of her famous, eccentric papa, the little dog's troubles began on the tragic evening of January 13th in Grünwald. Alas, poor little Daisy was fast asleep in bed when strange man strangled her beloved fashion icon daddy to death with a telephone cord. As he was a huge celebrity in Germany, the country mourned.

"What will become of me without Daddy?" Daisy whimpered. "I've been carried around so long, I don't even know how to walk anymore..."

When the will was read, Daddy proved he loved her! But without him to carry her, Daisy's world began to spiral out of control. Suddenly wealthy and thrust into the spotlight alone without her beloved big-haired father... how will she ever fill the void? Sex? Drugs? Are you kidding? Daddy would've much prefer shopping!
posted by miss lynnster (15 comments total)

preferred
posted by miss lynnster at 8:51 PM on February 9, 2005

P.S. - Yes, I'm in a silly writing mood tonight... 100% guilty as charged. Admittedly, the FPP is too long & I fully blame this photo. It possessed me. Eek.
(It's a unique story, though... that's for sure.)
posted by miss lynnster at 9:39 PM on February 9, 2005

he was really creepy--i can't believe he was so famous in Germany.
posted by amberglow at 9:43 PM on February 9, 2005

Those wacky Germans, they love their wacky rallies!
posted by orthogonality at 12:23 AM on February 10, 2005

The guy is freak out, get the hell away from me creepy. The dog, well, the dog had a good run, bummer about her papa and all but this sort of seems like a country starved for something to look at.
posted by fenriq at 12:28 AM on February 10, 2005

she actually forgot how to walk?! that is so funny!

Andreas the Chauffeur was quick to assure her fans that Daisy would be up for the job, telling Munich's Abendzeitung newspaper that she had already gone for a small walk.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 12:32 AM on February 10, 2005

Isn't that a cute little puppy doggie.
posted by buzzman at 12:49 AM on February 10, 2005

That guy in the pictures looks amazingly like a friend of mine the afternoon after he woke up on someone’s front lawn just before his death due to end stage alcoholism. Sad: for both of them.

" Isn't that a cute little puppy doggie" , No!
posted by arse_hat at 1:49 AM on February 10, 2005

I was looking at this thinking, what kind of an idiot buys this kind of expensive tat for their pets? Then I realised it was the kind of idiot who would need this message on a 'buy some expensive dog-shoes' page (the "would've" link):

"Please DO NOT try to determine the size of shoe by placing your little ones paws up to your moniter. All computers will display the paw prints at very different sizes."

I rest my case!
posted by DrDoberman at 2:31 AM on February 10, 2005

@Miss Lynnster: What makes the photo that possessed you even more interesting is that it is a spoof of an actual advertisement for a cordless phone (Mooshammer was strangled with a phone cord). The caption reads "Cordless means safety... if I had known it, I had bought one".
posted by Herr Fahrstuhl at 3:39 AM on February 10, 2005

Are you serious? My german's rusty, I didn't even try translating it. I saw a bunch of ads online that he'd supposedly done, I just thought the photo was the creepiest so that's why I picked it.

That's funny. Well... in a horrifically creepy way.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:11 AM on February 10, 2005

What is it with Germans and their dogs?
posted by Zed_Lopez at 10:27 AM on February 10, 2005

From zed_Lopez's link:

Gunther the dog currently spends a lot of time with 5 "gifted youngsters" known as the Burgundians. These five youngsters were the most talented among a selected group of boys and girls of international origin endowed with special features; beauty, intelligence and independence. These five youngsters were also considered especially suited to maintain a "joyful" life with Gunther the millionaire dog.

Hello sexy little girl of international origin! Want to come to my big mansion and, uh, be an "entertainer" for my "millionaire dog"?

Now why does this sound creepy?
posted by orthogonality at 2:14 PM on February 10, 2005

creepy like Michael Jackson now, orthogonality.
posted by amberglow at 2:16 PM on February 10, 2005

I think that Gunther site is one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen...

"...the selection sought dogs which were spontaneously looking for joy and amusement and an increased tendency for sexual activity... Thus, Gunther and the other dogs of the group's whole life and training are oriented towards the achievement of joy, pleasure, amusement and improvement of their sexual activity... The experts contend that the company of young, joyful and sexually very active people operates to increase the drive, mood, alertness and other cerebral processes of the dog which in turn generates its happiness and, ultimately, better psychological health. Additionally, the company of these youngsters "pleases" the dog and brings him to fulfillment."

It's all just way too... ewww.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:12 PM on February 10, 2005