Ditka.

February 11, 2005 7:30 PM

So, ya got bears. And you've got bears, BEARS, Bears!, and guys who love Bears. (From here, probably NSFW) But bears? I had no idea. I guess they're everywhere. We know they're in Chicago, but they also inhabit northern woody areas, southern coastal habitats, and from June 10-12 they will ravage the countryside (can't deeplink, check "events"). These bears have their own spam portals, non-spam resource guides, personals, merchandise, graphic novels, newsfeeds, rules and regulations, and of course lots and lots of pr0n (that's not too graphic, but they're not called "bears" for no reason). I knew one of these guys my freshman year. I'm straighter than Peter North but he and his friends were some of the coolest people I've ever known. What are your favorite sex subcultures?
posted by saysthis (26 comments total)

I like the bizarre subculture of women that find me attractive.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:32 PM on February 11, 2005

[This is strange.]
posted by ontic at 7:37 PM on February 11, 2005

Yay! Bears! I never imagined I'd see a post on metafilter about bears, but I must say I'm glad more people are learning about them. It's a huge subgroup of gay men and it is my favorite sexual subculture by far. :)
posted by mercurysm2 at 7:37 PM on February 11, 2005

I'm straighter than Peter North

Please say you're aware of the irony. Please?

(sending post to cubby friend who loves bears)
posted by WolfDaddy at 7:42 PM on February 11, 2005

Ok, I get the main idea of the post now. Was thrown off by the spam portal and such.
posted by ontic at 7:48 PM on February 11, 2005

Kevin: I was... um... attacked by a bear last night.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:55 PM on February 11, 2005

Bears? Bears suck... last bear I saw ripped the door off of my shop and shredded the porch screens. Fuckin' bears. I hate bears, you ever try to mow a lawn while stepping over the bear crap?

Oh. That kind of bear. Nevermind. But I bet, given half a chance, they'd shit all over the lawn too.
posted by cedar at 7:57 PM on February 11, 2005

One of the first things I did when I got internet access in like 1994 was to go to the alt.sex.bears usenet group and post a picture of an actual bear, along with the text, "Here's a real good hairy 1 for u!" which at the time I thought was both original and hilarious.
posted by Hildago at 8:04 PM on February 11, 2005

The IT industry suddenly makes so much more sense...!
But really, thanks, awesome post.
posted by mote at 8:05 PM on February 11, 2005

I worked at an ISP for a few years, starting about '96. It was during that time, with my unfettered Usenet access, that I discovered the sheer variety of the world's kinks and predilections. So, bears, yeah. If only it stopped there. They seem pretty harmless, Kids In the Hall sketch notwithstanding. It's the Japanese (and the furries) that you really have to look out for.
posted by dammitjim at 8:24 PM on February 11, 2005

We're here!
We're queer!
We don't want any more bears!
posted by papakwanz at 9:08 PM on February 11, 2005

I saw bears in the Minneapolis gay pride parade last year. They were riding motorcycles towards the end of the procession. I was unaware of bear culture at the time. It seemed odd that these really big, hairy and rather unattractive (to me) men were in a parade filled with so many men who seemed to strive for physical perfection. I asked the guys that I was with about them. They made faces and told me that some men were "into that." Different strokes.
posted by Juicylicious at 9:09 PM on February 11, 2005

Go Bears!
(uh, maybe not this one, which caused enough consternation for us for years to move to a more generic california.scouts.com domain name.)
posted by calwatch at 11:06 PM on February 11, 2005

I've got to say, being familiar with bears and all manner of sexual subcultures that other people's mothers would disapprove of, I was most amused by the Ham radio group link. That made me positively snort with laughter. Being a licensed ham myself I know that those folks are a fantastic subculture unto themselves...and one that is quite conservative on most every front. There are plenty of bears in that group...but not so many of *that* sort of bear methinks.

I'm really pleased to see a post about bears as well. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and the whole "metrosexual" movement reinforces the notion that gay men are these homogenic (pardon the pun) banana warehouse wearing, closely trimmed, hairless creatures. I'm not a bear by any means, but as a bi boy with long curly hair and a mustache/goatee, its good to see the more hirsuit presented as valid objects of hot boy on boy action.
posted by afflatus at 11:33 PM on February 11, 2005

. It seemed odd that these really big, hairy and rather unattractive (to me) men were in a parade filled with so many men who seemed to strive for physical perfection.

Yeah, usually we just cower in our rooms. But hey, none of the gym rats said, like, "Well, get out of here -- you ugly fatsos!!" so we just pretended that we had as much right to march in a parade celebrating human diversity as anybody else.

Odd (to you) but just human (to us).
posted by digaman at 8:37 AM on February 12, 2005

I'd like to point out (as I discovered at around age 30, when I finally quit cowering in my room) that many, many, many gymbunnies/twinks/"California surfer/skater/swimmer" types go absolutely crazy head over heels (or perhaps more appropriately, heels over head) for bears.
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:07 AM on February 12, 2005

I used to work at a "gay record label." I thought I knew something before I worked there, but I definitely learned a lot more there. However, the best part was all the funny email addresses the bears would come up with. Often times you wouldn't get what it was about unless you knew what was going on. Anyways, those were some of the most consistently funny addresses (and people when they called) that I had contact with in that office.
posted by Captaintripps at 9:57 AM on February 12, 2005

I'm straighter than Peter North

Please say you're aware of the irony. Please?

I bet Peter North is having sex with ladies right now. With many ladies. Okay, there was a certain Matt Ramsey who some say was Peter North, but I prefer to remember the legend (bio from official site, kind of not safe). Peter North also writes. He's one of the truly great figures of our time.

I looked, but I couldn't find a straight version of this subculture. I know some guys like BBW and all, but I mean women who like BBM. Am I just not googling the right terms? The slang dictionaries I checked don't have words for this either. Come to think of it, straight people don't have many sexual subcultures at all, do we? I wonder why. There's a lot of porn varieties for guys, but I think that's as close as it gets. Where is the national umbrella Yellow Fever Organization that will lobby politically to make international marriages easier and promote sexual education in Indonesia? How about the pan-hetero PC muscle exercise campaign? Where is this kind of organization and banding in straights? It would probably take a few genius careers in social anthropology to answer this question. Crap. Now I'm going to be thinking about how to build networks of skinny bittorrent rangers and the sorority girls who love them.

Post interesting links if ya got 'em.
posted by saysthis at 10:20 AM on February 12, 2005

I'm not afraid to admit my naivety and that I learned something new. There's no reason to be rude about it.
posted by Juicylicious at 11:30 AM on February 12, 2005

I looked, but I couldn't find a straight version of this subculture. I know some guys like BBW and all, but I mean women who like BBM.

I guess maybe I would fit in here. If my boyfriend were gay, he'd be a classic bear (big, hairy, beardy - although not a biker) and I do seem to generally go for the big hairy metaller/rocker types.

It's not something I look for in my porn choices, though.
posted by corvine at 4:23 PM on February 12, 2005

Come to think of it, straight people don't have many sexual subcultures at all, do we? I wonder why.

This is like, the most ridiculous bullshit I've heard all day. Or perhaps I should be nice and say utterly uninformed.
posted by digaman at 6:40 PM on February 12, 2005

saysthis, you simply must watch Ramsey/North bottom to appreciate his, er, multiplicity of, er, talents. And also to appreciate why Ron Jeremy calls him "spermy".

Oh, and here's an interesting link for you. Peruse and enjoy, and maybe take a cold shower.
posted by WolfDaddy at 7:22 PM on February 12, 2005

WolfDaddy, concerning RamNorth, I know all about it. He's got nothing on me. Nothing. < /insecurity>

This is like, the most ridiculous bullshit I've heard all day. Or perhaps I should be nice and say utterly uninformed.

Exactly. I'm the king of uninformed. But... I can name tons of kinks, and WolfDaddy even has a map, and I certainly know people who are into them. But they're not organized like gay subcultures, they're just fetishes with a few hardcore practitioners & obligatory raft of porn producers. I've never heard of cosplay parades or a National Asphyxiation Day. Online I've mostly seen porn and dry, clinical safety guides for how to practice them. I guess that's what I mean. Teach me something, digaman. I can be your little student.
posted by saysthis at 7:54 PM on February 12, 2005

A bear once pooped on my mom's back porch. I'll let you figure out which kind.
posted by dirigibleman at 3:23 AM on February 13, 2005

Celebearties.
posted by liam at 7:52 AM on February 13, 2005

uh-oh, the secret's out. if you never seen a group of bears en masse, it can be an odd sight. I don't do things like the bear cruises (YES, they really exist). But just going to the video store with my buddies gets enough looks from folks sometimes.
posted by Bear at 3:22 PM on February 13, 2005