Plan B
February 23, 2005 12:42 PM   Subscribe

Of course, the ultimate problem was that [my] script didn't have an ending. It didn't until I received a fax from the studio instructing me that Jo Maloni would die by being eaten by an alligator. Salon, so, you'll need to jump through hoops. I think it's worth it
posted by delmoi (18 comments total)

Confessions of a Hollywood sellout
There is no self-help group out there for a screenwriter who wasted a decade of her life rewriting a straight-to-video mob farce.
posted by matteo at 12:53 PM on February 23, 2005

Salon Day Pass Bookmarklet
posted by Laen at 12:58 PM on February 23, 2005

The IMDB record. "Worst Movie Ever Made," according to the single person to leave a comment so far. 3.8/10 based on 71 votes. What? This isn't slashdot? No karma whoring?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:59 PM on February 23, 2005

The movie may, probably does, suck, but the article was interesting as hell. Thanks, delmoi.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:10 PM on February 23, 2005

It's probably best avoided by would-be screenwriters. Not that they won't find out eventually.
posted by tommasz at 1:33 PM on February 23, 2005

It's like God saw my daydream from yesterday and told me "NO."
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:34 PM on February 23, 2005

Ironic that I had to sit through a trailer for "Be Cool" to read that...
posted by Robot Johnny at 1:43 PM on February 23, 2005

I can understand why someone might spend years of work on some artistic endeavor that they just "had to make," but a paint-by-the-numbers mob farce could have been written by a studio's scriptwriter staff, no? It kind of seems like getting an agent and making a book proposal would be a more cost-effective use of one's time for the scriptwriter and just having some lowly-paid salaried staffers to churn out the script based on a story concept would be more effective for the studio.
posted by deanc at 1:54 PM on February 23, 2005

according to the single person to leave a comment so far

Er, one of the few people to leave a comment so far. I understand what that "check for other user comments" link means, really I do, despite the current evidence to the contrary.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:08 PM on February 23, 2005

Great sad article. But hey, she wrote a movie. And that's always something. And as for the script becoming a lousy film, isn't that what happens all the time? Good movies are few and far between, and rely on the convergence of massive amounts of good luck coming in from all sorts of angles. Everything has to click and usually it doesn't. Not her fault surely. Honor to her.
posted by Panfilo at 2:09 PM on February 23, 2005

Gee. After seeing the movie, I never would have guessed that the script didn't have an ending without reading this article.
posted by spock at 2:13 PM on February 23, 2005

DevilsAdvocate: 3.8/10 based on 71 votes.

I wouldn't trust the ratings on the front page of an IMDb entry, if the total number of votes is low, like in this case. The median and average are 5.0. I remember checking up last year on an Indian movie a couple of days after its release. Less than 15 votes; average was 7.x, with just two votes under 5, yet IMDb "score" was 2.x or some such low number. Go figure.
posted by Gyan at 2:30 PM on February 23, 2005

At first glance I thought it was going to be about this gal, who, at second glance, I think is a much better writer.
posted by manicroom at 2:56 PM on February 23, 2005

"It" being the Salon article that is...
posted by manicroom at 3:02 PM on February 23, 2005

Our first West Coast premiere was scheduled for Sept. 11, 2001.

priceless. nice read.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:35 PM on February 23, 2005

That was extremely entertaining. Thanks for the read.

I'd like to point out that generating three separate sex scenes for a character who doesn't appear until halfway through the script and for the most part is kept prisoner in a dog cage, wearing a high-end dog collar, is stultifying.

posted by rooftop secrets at 4:43 PM on February 23, 2005

Exquisite sadness.
posted by NekulturnY at 3:29 AM on February 24, 2005

Great read. And who's betting this imdb reviewer may be related to someone involved?
posted by ciderwoman at 8:14 AM on February 24, 2005

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