7,000 year old sex-artifact

April 8, 2005 1:30 PM

Archaeologist Finds 'Oldest Porn Statue'
Article claims that "until now, the oldest representations of sexual scenes were frescos from about 2,000 years ago", BUT...
posted by dfowler (29 comments total)

"while the woman bends over to drink beer through a straw." Is that REALLY what she's doing?!
posted by shoepal at 1:44 PM on April 8, 2005

"the oldest pornographic scene in the world... shatters the belief that sex was a taboo subject in that era."

Um, if sex wasn't taboo, then this wasn't pornographic. Porn requires taboo. The phrase they wanted was "sex scene."

/ disappointed at lack of actual 7,200-year-old porn
posted by soyjoy at 1:48 PM on April 8, 2005

WHORE OF BABYLON
posted by davros42 at 1:50 PM on April 8, 2005

Hey, the British Museum don't lie. And that artifact is 3,800 years old, thereby disproving that claim in the Guardian article. dfowler: 1 Guardian: 0
Also, next Monday I'll be posting something I consider to be a great contribution. See you then. -dfowler
posted by dfowler at 1:51 PM on April 8, 2005

Um, if sex wasn't taboo, then this wasn't pornographic. Porn requires taboo. The phrase they wanted was "sex scene."

I dissagree with your definition.
posted by delmoi at 1:51 PM on April 8, 2005

Well, it could go either way. Pornography is:

Sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal.

We can't know the artist's purpose, so whether to term it pornography or not is up for debate.

I have always considered "pornography" to be an idea that is wholly debatable anyway.
posted by exlotuseater at 2:09 PM on April 8, 2005

Leave it to Jerry. If the archaeologist keeps digging, he'll find representations of people pooping on each other.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:09 PM on April 8, 2005

Archaeologists have discovered what they believe to be the 7,200-year-old remnants of a man having intercourse with a woman.

(Add your own Michael Douglas joke here.)
posted by PlusDistance at 2:11 PM on April 8, 2005

Leave it to Jerry. If the archaeologist keeps digging, he'll find representations of people pooping on each other.

Yeah, I can see the Taschen (NSFW) book now: PaleoPorn: Prehistoric Deviants.
posted by everichon at 2:20 PM on April 8, 2005

Let's see, how to control people?

1. Take the most unstoppable and vital biological impulse.
2. Make it wrong.
3. Tell people only you can make it right.

Let 2000 years of insanity begin!

Thanks, Magical Wizard Pope!
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 2:20 PM on April 8, 2005

I dunno, sometimes I think archaeologists have to use to just a little too much imagination to figure out what's going on, er what was going on.

How can they be so sure this wasn't a individual thing, maybe one guy, had to be a guy, made this these two objects and that's it. Seems a stretch to start imaging major aspects of the social order based on single finds like this.
posted by scheptech at 3:03 PM on April 8, 2005

i thought a lot of decorations in south asia (hindu temples?) were sexually explicit and older than 2,000 years? my copy of "glimpses of world history" is in la serena, so i can't give dates but hinduism is around 3,500 years old, i believe.
posted by andrew cooke at 3:17 PM on April 8, 2005

Is it wrong that I masturbate to clay sculptures depicting sex?
posted by Balisong at 4:48 PM on April 8, 2005

for some reason I thought that the "girl drinking bear through a straw" one having been a

Gift of Major Burn (1925)

was hilarious.
posted by Kattullus at 4:53 PM on April 8, 2005

"This baked clay plaque appears to show a man and woman having sex, while the woman bends over to drink beer through a straw. "

I got news for you folks, that's no straw!
posted by zardoz at 5:26 PM on April 8, 2005

she's drinking beer out of a penis?
posted by puke & cry at 5:34 PM on April 8, 2005

makes me wonder how old these carvings are.
posted by flaterik at 6:01 PM on April 8, 2005

Statue porn! Break out the agalmatophilia and start rock-fucking!
posted by NickDouglas at 6:22 PM on April 8, 2005

I disagree with all of the definitions of porn here (ha!) but agree with soyjoy: this isn't.

Pornography is sex images created for the purpose of making money. From the greek "pornos" = "one who performs sexual acts for money" + "graphos" = "images." This is important, too, I think: sexual images can be useful, thoughtful, even somewhat sacred. Pornography, aimed at a market and at monetary gain, tends to be stupid and, at worst, hateful.

Good find, dfowler. I'm looking forward to monday.
posted by koeselitz at 6:27 PM on April 8, 2005

So. If I take photographs that are intended to arouse sexually, but do not sell them, according to your definition, they are not pornography.

What are they?
posted by exlotuseater at 10:27 PM on April 8, 2005

Hmm, sounds like the ancient term pornos means prostitute which is fine but the modern meaning of 'pornography' is more general.

Child porn is available on the internet and you don't necessarily have to pay for it. However that doesn't mean it's not porn.

If you pay to download and I don't then it's porn on your computer but not on mine? If you buy some pot and then give me some as a gift you're legally liable for possession and I'm not?
posted by scheptech at 11:29 PM on April 8, 2005

My girlfriend always complains if I drink beer through a straw while we have sex. Now I can tell her its an ancient Mesopotamian practice of "magical or religious significance"....
posted by lagavulin at 1:46 AM on April 9, 2005

Is it wrong that I masturbate to clay sculptures depicting sex?

no. in fact, sexual sculptures are a useful resource for the regular masturbator - you can use your sense of touch to explore and understand the statue's significance even when you go blind.
posted by andrew cooke at 6:11 AM on April 9, 2005

lagavulin, if you're the one using the straw, you're doing it backwards.
posted by graventy at 6:30 AM on April 9, 2005

That's hot.
posted by Fofer at 7:53 AM on April 9, 2005

There's nothing obscene about that straw: she's just taking a Babylonian bong hit.
posted by Nelson at 9:49 AM on April 9, 2005

My girlfriend always complains if I drink beer through a straw while we have sex. Now I can tell her its an ancient Mesopotamian practice of "magical or religious significance"

Plus, you totally get drunk faster if you drink it through a straw.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:12 AM on April 9, 2005

damn, how did Babylonian teens hide those under their mattresses?
posted by rswst8 at 2:09 PM on April 9, 2005

andrew cooke, hilarious!

(still chuckling)
posted by bullitt 5 at 7:04 PM on April 11, 2005