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If Ed Anger had a son....
May 18, 2005 2:08 PM   Subscribe

Rants. (Quicktime movies.) Meet Bob. He's pissed. I'm partial to his takes on the Cookie Monster, Vegas ads, the filthy media, Paris Hilton and lo carb OJ.
posted by CunningLinguist (33 comments total)

 
Great; an ignoramus with a video camcorder and a tripod. The only bright side I can see is that guy will probably die prematurely of a coronary relatively soon.

Don't get me wrong, I dig the genre (Sam Kinison was a master at it and Lewis Black is also very good), but this guy's just not very good. He needs to understand how to build tension in the routine and build up to the big rant. He basically shoots his load in the first 5 secs in each bit, and can't seem to find anyplace else to do.
posted by psmealey at 2:25 PM on May 18, 2005


WHATS NEXT! WHATS NEXT!! WHATS NEXT!!!

A sense of pacing and timing I hope. Well it's good thing he's video taping them, all good comics watch their tapes and sharpen the act.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 2:29 PM on May 18, 2005


Has potential. Needs some swearing.
posted by GeekAnimator at 2:31 PM on May 18, 2005


Anyone else notice how he seems to be buttoning his pants up after the paris hilton one, also in the vegas adds one he doesn't have a shirt.... seems like somebody might be doing a little fap fap fapperoo to their own vitriol.
posted by sourbrew at 2:33 PM on May 18, 2005


A bit repetitive.
posted by ColdChef at 2:34 PM on May 18, 2005


Oy. There's nothing like a funny, thought out rant, and that's nothing like a funny, thought out rant.

I can't believe he actually used the ancient "should-have-whacked-off-in-a-sock" joke not once, but twice!
posted by Hugh2d2 at 2:35 PM on May 18, 2005


Has potential. Needs some swearing.

My thoughts exactly. There's probably too much gratuitous swearing in comedy, but f-bombs are essential to a good, unhinged rant. By definition, a rant has to seem out of control. As soon as you use the word "freakin'", you've proven that your "rant" is premeditated and restrained. Same goes for the "What's Next" crap.
posted by pardonyou? at 2:41 PM on May 18, 2005


seems like somebody might be doing a little fap fap fapperoo to their own vitriol.

Yeah, I'd say that's a safe bet.
posted by gurple at 2:42 PM on May 18, 2005


Is that Michael Rappaport?

I watched the Paris Hilton one first b/c I thought, "OK, let's see somebody try to cover uncharted territory here."

Nope.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:46 PM on May 18, 2005


Lewis Black gets through his rants on The Daily Show without an f-bomb, the key is that you know he's saying it IN HIS MIND.
posted by linux at 2:52 PM on May 18, 2005


WHAT'S NEXT, WHAT'S NEXT, WHAT'S NEXT. SOME JERK DECIDES THAT HE'S A COMIC GENIUS, SETS UP HIS FUCKING LOW QUALITY PIECE OF SHIT WEB CAMERA, AND I'M CONNED INTO WATCHING IT. THAT'S RIGHT, I'M CONNED INTO WATCHING IT. HE'S GOT NOTHING, HE'S GOT NOTHING. I'D RATHER PULL MY EYELASHES OUT ONE BY ONE THAN WATCH THIS NO TALENT ASS MONKEY SPOUT HIS INEVITABLE GARBAGE ONTO MY COMPUTER SCREEN. I MEAN WHAT HAS HE GOT. WHAT HAS HE GOT THAT NO-ONE ELSE HAS GOT. HE'S GOT NOTHING. ROCKING LIKE A MADMAN, WHINING HIS ASMATHIC REPETITIVE CLICHES INTO THE ETHER. AND WILL HE SHUT UP, AND WILL HE SHUT UP. MAYBE, WHEN I GO ROUND HIS HOUSE WITH A HOSEPIPE AND SOME SUPER GLUE, MAYBE THEN HE'LL SHUT UP. THE STUPID, IDIOTIC MORON.

/me Rocks backward into my chair, looks smugly at my computer.
posted by seanyboy at 2:59 PM on May 18, 2005


It's television, and, yeah, he's excellent. However, see him live and he cusses all up in your shit, and let me assure you it is even more excellent.
posted by cortex at 3:01 PM on May 18, 2005


lewis black i mean
posted by cortex at 3:01 PM on May 18, 2005


Repetition and hand gestures (and repetitive hand gestures, at that) don't equal good delivery. He also needs to work on enunciation.
Lewis Black has nothing to fear from this man.
posted by doctor_negative at 3:02 PM on May 18, 2005


Gracious — such a multidimensional young gentleman!
posted by MaxVonCretin at 3:04 PM on May 18, 2005


So, am I fortunate that I'm at work and cannot view these web "gems"? Sounds like it.
posted by fenriq at 3:04 PM on May 18, 2005


Those who can't do, rant.
posted by spock at 3:06 PM on May 18, 2005


My favorite ranter.
posted by doctor_negative at 3:07 PM on May 18, 2005


peter griffin: "what's a rant?"
posted by chaz at 3:09 PM on May 18, 2005


louis black's use of the f-word when he does stand up is actually quite remarkable. rather than conjugate it or turn it into an adjective or adverb, he just drops it willy-nilly into his speech in its original four-letter form. it's quite hypnotizing.

oh, and this is awful. actually worse than that goddamned flash cartoon squirrel guy who was making the rounds a while ago...
posted by es_de_bah at 3:37 PM on May 18, 2005


jesus, this is not even watchable.
posted by docpops at 3:46 PM on May 18, 2005


Dumb and unfunny. Where's Harlan Ellison when we need him?
posted by Goblindegook at 3:59 PM on May 18, 2005


I like grabbing the Quicktime progress bar and moving it right and left real fast. It's like I'm bashing his head into my computer screen!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 4:24 PM on May 18, 2005


This is proof--cocaine alone does not make you funny.
posted by zardoz at 5:39 PM on May 18, 2005


yikes! . . . whats next? whats next?
posted by nola at 5:58 PM on May 18, 2005


Wait a minute, guys. Hold on. He says that Paris Hilton doesn't have any talent and shouldn't be famous. I think there might be some truth in that.
posted by ORthey at 6:04 PM on May 18, 2005


Where is Bill Hicks when you need him?

"Hey, Satan, you dropped your tampons."
posted by Mikey-San at 6:36 PM on May 18, 2005


Wow, made it 4 seconds into this before this became painful. That was enough for me to watch
posted by herting at 6:36 PM on May 18, 2005


Yeah, I know he's trying for wider appeal by not swearing and all but he was not entertaining to watch and alot less entertaining to listen to.

He reminds of drunk know it alls who spit when they talk, as he did during his lame rant about American Idol.
posted by fenriq at 6:40 PM on May 18, 2005


Feh! Not good at all, not good at all. What's that saying about the "best of the web" again? Where?
posted by mrbarrett.com at 7:07 PM on May 18, 2005


Aye... Few things match the power and beauty of Hicks' rant on the horrendous state of the music industry.

THAT is how you do a comic rant. Or at least that's how he did it. I'm not sure anyone else could.
posted by InnocentBystander at 8:29 PM on May 18, 2005


HA! The one about Kirstie Allie is pretty funny. The rest of it gets old very fast.
What's next?
What's next?
I'll tell you what's next....exit website
posted by a3matrix at 8:29 PM on May 18, 2005


Skills: Not blinking
Deficiencies: Obnoxious, not funny, alcoholism, can't blink
posted by sellout at 10:40 PM on May 18, 2005


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