You call that a toilet?
June 2, 2005 9:54 AM Subscribe
Welcome to the Cynical Traveler, a webpage written by a cynic for cynics. "We hate foreigners, so you don't have to."
U.S.A. Travel Diary:
Assuming that anyone ever reads this blog, I imagine 90% would be from the US. Bearing that in mind, I am mindful of making a joke of your country.
Fortunately your Government is doing it for me.
Boy, has he got our number.
posted by mowglisambo at 10:43 AM on June 2, 2005
Assuming that anyone ever reads this blog, I imagine 90% would be from the US. Bearing that in mind, I am mindful of making a joke of your country.
Fortunately your Government is doing it for me.
Boy, has he got our number.
posted by mowglisambo at 10:43 AM on June 2, 2005
Yeah, that was a burn. He burned us pretty good right there.
posted by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on June 2, 2005
posted by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on June 2, 2005
On Amsterdam:
The red light district is, however, an eye opener. And for the less puritanical, it may be a wallet opener as well. Personally, if I wanted to have sex with a depressed, exploited, underpaid drug addict, I’d masturbate.
posted by letitrain at 10:56 AM on June 2, 2005
The red light district is, however, an eye opener. And for the less puritanical, it may be a wallet opener as well. Personally, if I wanted to have sex with a depressed, exploited, underpaid drug addict, I’d masturbate.
posted by letitrain at 10:56 AM on June 2, 2005
The section on Italy is great. I love the pic towards the bottom...
'...no one is watching...'
posted by lyam at 10:59 AM on June 2, 2005
'...no one is watching...'
posted by lyam at 10:59 AM on June 2, 2005
Hilarious. England:
Many people complain that the British museum has stolen antiquities from the countries of their origin. While this may or may not be true, the British reaction has basically been “If you wanted it so much, why did you let us invade you?”posted by esoterica at 1:38 PM on June 2, 2005
Absolutely terrible. Just awful.
This fellow needs to add bitterness, at the very least, if he's going to claim that he hates foreigners and the title of cynic.
In the meantime, he should also read Jerome's "Three Men on a Boat", "Three Men on the Bummel", and Mark Twain's "Roughing It" so he doesn't embarass himself any more.
Come on, he had all the USA to make fun of and all he could come up with was a generic political comment and a McDonald's joke?
I wonder how much time this fellow even spent in these countries, and if he was any kind of cynic at all before he left his homeland.
posted by redteam at 2:01 PM on June 2, 2005
This fellow needs to add bitterness, at the very least, if he's going to claim that he hates foreigners and the title of cynic.
In the meantime, he should also read Jerome's "Three Men on a Boat", "Three Men on the Bummel", and Mark Twain's "Roughing It" so he doesn't embarass himself any more.
Come on, he had all the USA to make fun of and all he could come up with was a generic political comment and a McDonald's joke?
I wonder how much time this fellow even spent in these countries, and if he was any kind of cynic at all before he left his homeland.
posted by redteam at 2:01 PM on June 2, 2005
redteam,
Oh for crying out loud. It's obviously written from a tongue-in-cheek, casual vacationer who can't be bothered with such things as "culture" perspective, as an antidote to too-often gushing travel books. I mean, really: toilets, beer, and the wild dog factor -- that's just practical.
posted by esoterica at 3:29 PM on June 2, 2005
Oh for crying out loud. It's obviously written from a tongue-in-cheek, casual vacationer who can't be bothered with such things as "culture" perspective, as an antidote to too-often gushing travel books. I mean, really: toilets, beer, and the wild dog factor -- that's just practical.
posted by esoterica at 3:29 PM on June 2, 2005
Esoterica,
I'm not calling for this guy to go write a masterpiece, but a little more effort and inspiration would be nice. There are about a million little silly things that any casual observer can see in a different country that are far funnier than the things this guy has bothered to point out. And with a little bit of bitterness, you can even go way further. In fact, the more of an un-cultural point of view you take, the funnier everything gets. It's the culturally sensitive backpackers that I always made a point to avoid. Those pricks wouldn't even admit that it smelled in Delhi. I'm sure they wanted to be sensitive to the fact that India had an ancient tradition of smells, blah blah blah.
As an American that's offended that this guy couldn't point out any more stupid things about my homeland, I'm going to reach out and poke some fun at the Aussies out there. They deserve it, after all, because it's the only place outside of the USA I've been to where I've met fervent Bush supporters.
Aussie musical taste has a peculiar range. They're either huge Ben Harper fans ... or they're Jack Johnson fans. You might even find some who are both. Way to go homogeneity. Aussies give Swedes a run for their money.
posted by redteam at 3:55 PM on June 2, 2005
I'm not calling for this guy to go write a masterpiece, but a little more effort and inspiration would be nice. There are about a million little silly things that any casual observer can see in a different country that are far funnier than the things this guy has bothered to point out. And with a little bit of bitterness, you can even go way further. In fact, the more of an un-cultural point of view you take, the funnier everything gets. It's the culturally sensitive backpackers that I always made a point to avoid. Those pricks wouldn't even admit that it smelled in Delhi. I'm sure they wanted to be sensitive to the fact that India had an ancient tradition of smells, blah blah blah.
As an American that's offended that this guy couldn't point out any more stupid things about my homeland, I'm going to reach out and poke some fun at the Aussies out there. They deserve it, after all, because it's the only place outside of the USA I've been to where I've met fervent Bush supporters.
Aussie musical taste has a peculiar range. They're either huge Ben Harper fans ... or they're Jack Johnson fans. You might even find some who are both. Way to go homogeneity. Aussies give Swedes a run for their money.
posted by redteam at 3:55 PM on June 2, 2005
Gold redteam. Comedy gold. You should perhaps write you're own humourous travel guide.
posted by figment at 6:10 PM on June 2, 2005
posted by figment at 6:10 PM on June 2, 2005
figment, you're slaying me here.
Perhaps redteam is missing the point that often humor is derived primarily from the way something is said, rather than the intrinsic content therein. cf, Dave Barry.
Though if that vignette regarding Aussies is a bellwether, who knows what redteam's criteria are for humor.
posted by esoterica at 7:00 PM on June 2, 2005
Perhaps redteam is missing the point that often humor is derived primarily from the way something is said, rather than the intrinsic content therein. cf, Dave Barry.
Though if that vignette regarding Aussies is a bellwether, who knows what redteam's criteria are for humor.
posted by esoterica at 7:00 PM on June 2, 2005
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posted by darkstar at 9:58 AM on June 2, 2005