Canyonero!

June 23, 2005 4:28 PM

Looking for a new RV? This baby's got every feature you could possibly want. Price range? "More than a Hummer and Less than a Boeing 777."
posted by Ironwolf (30 comments total)

Maximog repellent. For when one of these things rolls into your base camp uninvited.
posted by Derive the Hamiltonian of... at 4:48 PM on June 23, 2005

Unimog axles are great. Portals are killer. A great swap in for off road vehicles if you can fab crap...and mog vehicles are very capable. I have a feeling this beast ain't a trail rig so I am not impressed not that it matters to this guy who obviously went overboard on the camping vehicle concept. A stock TJ can take you more places to camp than this wild monster could. 9.5mpg - not bad for a vehicle of that size and weight (BIOFUEL BABY!!!!)
posted by evilelvis at 4:54 PM on June 23, 2005

The more I read about this thing the more I hate it. Way to give off road enthusiast a bad name. Where the hell can you take this stupid thing? The moon? Most of the planet that is unexplored is going to require a short wheel base vehicle or your feet. I'm not going to deny it wouldn't be a sweet ride though. 10 babies killed at every fill up woo hoo! The rage builds! I hate being an environmentally concious 4 wheeler sometimes make brain hurt. I'm going to go help my roommate buy a fuel efficient commuter now...(and maybe a TDI VW so I can play around with some biofuel hmmmm)
posted by evilelvis at 5:03 PM on June 23, 2005

Double post, though, apparently, the ad guys have changed the tag line a bit: "It costs more than a Unicat and less than a Boeing 777."
posted by MrMoonPie at 5:05 PM on June 23, 2005

MaxiMOG is an acronym for Maximum Misuse Of Gasoline.
posted by fandango_matt at 5:15 PM on June 23, 2005

Double post? Drat. Surprisingly, the term "maximog" doesn't turn up in a Metafilter-specific Google search, even though it is mentioned five times in the earlier post.
posted by Ironwolf at 5:17 PM on June 23, 2005

It doesn't seem entirely fair to compare this with 'consumer' vehicles. A previous employer had an armoured personnel carrier modified for expeditionary use, and this appears to be similar.

elviselvis, you're right about most of the unexplored planet needing feet to navigate (or a boat, if we include the oceans), but the site mentions that the vehicle was custom designed and built, so I presume that they have a specific intended use for it.
I doubt that there are going to be many soccer moms in LA having these things custom built to drive the kids to school, so environmental impact is minimal.

I'll admit to being a bit puzzled by their need for a vehicle customised quite so much though, most of the expeditions that I've been involved in have involved land cruisers or converted military vehicles.
posted by atrazine at 5:45 PM on June 23, 2005

My family has an older Unimog. It used to be a Forest Service Fire Truck now we use it mostly for hauling fence building supplies around the property and plowing the road from the house to town in the winter. That thing can drive just about anywhere but in all the time we’ve had it I don’t think it’s ever been on a paved road. This thing seems pointless though.
posted by Tenuki at 5:55 PM on June 23, 2005

Very pointless. I trek about the wilderness for a living and I can't think of a single use for that thing. If someplace is that hard to get to? We take a helicopter. If it's that cold we take a heated snowcat. And when we get there we don't stay in composite trailers with fold out sides and high tech gadgetry. We stay in tents.
posted by fshgrl at 6:30 PM on June 23, 2005

I guess this thing appeals to apocalypse now-survivalist screechers.

Otherwise it's a waste of a perfectly good 'Mog. Weighing something like that down with loads of useless equipment renders it useless for driving around sensitive nature tracks etc, as it gives the vehicle such a destructive footprint and also makes it prone to bogging - which usually, is something that UniMogs nearly don't do as much as other vehicles.

Minimogs and Unimogs epitomise the fact that in order to be a capable off-road vehicle with actual utilitarian purposes (bar driving your kids to lacrosse practice) you don't have to be obnoxiously large.

Although if I did want to be an obnoxious road user... I'd buy myself one of the many available-to-deranged-civilians surplus Armoured Personell Carriers.
posted by JGreyNemo at 6:41 PM on June 23, 2005

All my life, I have searched for a car that feels a certain way. Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball. Now, at last, I have found it.
posted by Tlogmer at 7:44 PM on June 23, 2005

I still like the EarthRoamer better.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:15 PM on June 23, 2005

I think some of you are missing the point here. Its not WHY you have a bunch of gizmos in a big car, its THAT you have a bunch of gizmos in a big car.
posted by StickyCarpet at 8:20 PM on June 23, 2005

I've said it before, I'll say it again. Minimogs, maximogs, unimogs, bimogs, multimogs, dodecamogs, supercalifragimogs -- all for pussies.

Real men drive the fuckin' LandMaster. And they use a knife to do it.

You just gotta ask yourself: what would Troy Hurtubise drive? Something with man-size rocket launchers, not some little girl's machine gun, that's for goddam sure.

Jan-Michael Vincent must be turning in his grave to see people acting like a damn Mog is something impressive.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:21 PM on June 23, 2005

Weight: 13,240lbs unloaded at full fluid capacity

Holy shit. The H2 weighs in at a paltry 8,600 lbs, and the H1 at a "mere" 8114 lbs.

This way you can both burn tons of fuel, AND destroy every bit of environment you run over. I reiterate, holy shit.
posted by clevershark at 8:28 PM on June 23, 2005

There is probably someone, somewhere on the face of this earth who has a need for one of those vehicles. Probably.
posted by notreally at 8:31 PM on June 23, 2005

fshgrl I have to agree that the smaller, simpler and lighter the better. Minimalism is the key. I prefer a late model Toyota because they are basically very hard to destroy. Toyota is what the UN uses, its taken over Landrover in Africa (except for the Romantics) and of course its what the Taliban use in Afghanistan. Toyota pick-up with a tent you can travel the world.
posted by stbalbach at 8:34 PM on June 23, 2005

Really real men drive this over everything

You know you want it. Why get a hybrid when your sheer rolling mass disrupts the earth's rotation to get you there faster?
posted by evilelvis at 8:36 PM on June 23, 2005

We'll see this in the suburbs soon enough.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:39 PM on June 23, 2005

What? No diesel engine option?
posted by buzzman at 8:53 PM on June 23, 2005

This is for when the zombies come.
posted by bardic at 9:41 PM on June 23, 2005

Sounds like something you'd want for a Traveller campaign; toss it in your Modular Frigate and go.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 10:46 PM on June 23, 2005

I've known a couple of people that have had Unimogs.

One was owned by wheat ranchers just outside of Enterprise Oregon.

A unimog was the only way to get to a certain section of their property through the winter snow drifts.

The thing was amazing.

It was the transportation equivalent of an anvil: you could beat on it all day long, and it was still an anvil.

Other than that, or if you were in the German army, I don't see much use for the things myself.
posted by Relay at 10:47 PM on June 23, 2005

Well, it must have some use, or no one would have built it to begin with (it was designed for work, not as a toy).
posted by delmoi at 11:40 PM on June 23, 2005

A unimog was the only way to get to a certain section of their property through the winter snow drifts.

What was waiting in a certain section of their property that couldn't wait till spring? Angelina Jolie?
posted by QuietDesperation at 11:44 PM on June 23, 2005

Toyotas are great but are getting too fancified and expensive, I wish they'd make the old late 80s trucks again. Suzuki Samurais are surprisingly great off road vehicles: you could drive one across a bog and up a tree and anything you manage to break can probably be fixed with duct tape. Plus if you do get it stuck (and I've gotten everything stuck eventually) it weighs like 50lbs and you can pull it out with a skateboard. The winch on the front of the MAXIMOG is just wishful thinking.
posted by fshgrl at 1:09 AM on June 24, 2005

QuietDesperation writes "What was waiting in a certain section of their property that couldn't wait till spring? Angelina Jolie?"

Lots of people make use of property for something better than growing grass. Some things off the top of my head: power plant (hydro, wind); trap line; supplying winter activity cabin; any kind of maintence in sensitive terrain (winter roads are easier on some enviroments).
posted by Mitheral at 11:11 AM on June 24, 2005

Jan-Michael Vincent must be turning in his grave to see people acting like a damn Mog is something impressive.

I'm sure he would be, if he were actually dead.
posted by Dreama at 11:45 AM on June 24, 2005

Dreama, he's already dead on the inside. Have you seen him in the past few years?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:29 PM on June 24, 2005

You can tell your son it has its very own satellite: The VanStar I, launched last February!
posted by evilcolonel at 7:15 PM on June 24, 2005