200 amazing secrets

August 1, 2005 10:58 PM

200 amazing secrets! Well, maybe not so secret to some but there are some darn helpful tips here! seen at presurfer
posted by Lynsey (45 comments total)

Nice link.
By the by, kitty litter also works for oil stained driveways, if you don't have access to sand.
posted by Citizen Premier at 11:05 PM on August 1, 2005

42. Messless painting from a bucket.

Punch several holes around rim of can with small nail.

Can someone explain how this is supposed to work? Some of these seem suspect.
posted by Juliet Banana at 11:13 PM on August 1, 2005

My god, everything is red!

I like the first tip: obvious, but I never thought about it, as is the case with most of the things on this website. I need to fix a broken lock.
posted by invitapriore at 11:14 PM on August 1, 2005

But, but... how do I 16. Remove labels from bottles and jars. ??
posted by odinsdream at 11:15 PM on August 1, 2005

My god, everything is red!

Are you colorblind, or am I?
posted by Citizen Premier at 11:20 PM on August 1, 2005

But, but... how do I 16. Remove labels from bottles and jars. ??

WD-40.
posted by Mach3avelli at 11:33 PM on August 1, 2005

Juliet, the holes go in the little depression around the top of the can where paint collects as you scrape excess off the brush, and let the paint seep back down into the can rather than building up and running down the outside.
posted by nicwolff at 11:35 PM on August 1, 2005

But, but... how do I 16. Remove labels from bottles and jars. ??
I think the answer for 16 and 17 go together.
Use tin snips and cut under water, smooth rough edges off with knife blade.
Then again, I'm not confident cutting glass with tin snips underwater sounds right.
posted by tellurian at 11:40 PM on August 1, 2005

127. Clean tarnished gold and silver.

Place gold or silver items in mouth while asleep.

Some of these are crazy!
posted by Mach3avelli at 11:44 PM on August 1, 2005

Heh, some of these sound just a little outdated:

51. Destroy desire for nicotine.
Take before breakfast, a half teaspoon of rochelle salts and cream of tartar.

52. Destroy desire for alcohol.
Mix goldthread with gold seal in a tea. It creates a violent taste for alcohol.

I'm sure Grandpa Simpson would concur...
posted by scheptech at 11:46 PM on August 1, 2005

3. Remove a stubborn screw.

Heat with a soldering iron for a few seconds first.

Because that will cause the metal to expand and... eh, won't that make it harder to remove?
posted by dreamsign at 11:47 PM on August 1, 2005

If you superglue the broken end of a key and then stick it in a lock, don't you run the risk of gluing the key to the inside of the lock?
posted by LeeJay at 11:48 PM on August 1, 2005

186. Good refrigerator deodoriser.

Keep an open box of baking soda in it at all times.

Also B.S. I wonder how many of these have really been tested.
posted by Citizen Premier at 11:52 PM on August 1, 2005

Because that will cause the metal to expand and... eh, won't that make it harder to remove?

I think the idea is that the expanded screw will deform the material it's stuck in a little bit outwards, so that when it cools down again it's smaller relative to the hole.
posted by breath at 11:53 PM on August 1, 2005

198. 88, 124 and 127 are essentially the same.
[I can no longer see]
posted by tellurian at 11:56 PM on August 1, 2005

That would make sense. But based on this advice, I picture people heating and heating the thing, trying to unscrew it while still hot. It's not working -- must need more heat!

Good interpretation, breath.
posted by dreamsign at 11:57 PM on August 1, 2005

dreamsign, i totally woulda done that. Luckily the blue is a little calmer on this page. Now i have a real solution and i can still see.

now, about that asbestos removal...
posted by gorgor_balabala at 12:20 AM on August 2, 2005

Heating screws and bolts that are frozen in place works because it causes the *surrounding* metal to expand as well, and it expands more than the screw or bolt will. I had to use a blowtorch to free up the pins in my brake calipers a couple weeks ago, heating it to about 500F made it possible to remove what was otherwise absolutely impossible.
posted by knave at 12:28 AM on August 2, 2005

I am very inclined to disbelieve number 17. But I've also got my tinsnips and a bucket handy, and am about to search the shed for a piece of glass....
posted by Jimbob at 12:50 AM on August 2, 2005

I would have thought with the screw removal that the heat will help break bonds beween screw and material it's stuck in - same reason for heating tight screw top jar. I realize the expansion theory will also work, but only after the screw has cooled down. Hmm....maybe it's a 1/2 chemistry & 1/2 volume thing. I will ponder it some more.

Lynsey, are you trying to put AskMefi out of business !!?

The list, apart from the occasional odd one, reminds me that a home can be well cared for if you have baking soda (and it DOES eliminate fridge odour for whoever was skeptical upthread), vinegar, soap and lemon. Add toothpaste and you really don't need all the modern cleaners.
posted by peacay at 1:29 AM on August 2, 2005

rinses mouth with baking soda, vinegar, soap and lemon...
posted by Laotic at 2:03 AM on August 2, 2005

Many of these are outdated. Some seem overtly dangerous. A whole bunch of them are downright gross. There's a gem or two in there, and the rest are old standbys.

Also, about the broken key-superglue-lock thing: Put a very thin layer of superglue only on the thin broken face of the key. Insert it smoothly, hold against the broken key in the keyway, pull out smoothly without twisting or bending it. It should mate with the other key part and come out easily. And yes, if you put too much glue in or you don't pull the broken bit out, or you don't wait for any remaining glue to dry before using the lock, you'll freeze your lock up and have to knock it out with a sledge hammer or undo it from the back side and replace it.

156. Caring for leather upholstery.

Brush with skim milk every three months.

115. Really shine your kitchen floor.

Add some sour milk to your rinse water, it will shine!

Why does it smell like a dairy in here?

163. How to soften leather shoes.

Sponge with black coffee.

161. What to do when shoes get stiff

Cut a raw potato and rub all over. They will come back to life.

Which is it? Coffee? Or raw potato? How about leather oil? Y'know, like baseball glove conditioner... oh right, nevermind.

144. Handy tips on cutting fur.

Use a razor blade on back of fur when cutting, you won't cut any hair.

Woah, what?

94. Vegetable that's antibiotic.

Garlic.

Ok, tried and true.

166. Get juice from dried up lemon.

Boil it for a few minutes.

Eww! Go get a fresh lemon, you miser!

174. Keep dressing from going rancid.

Put a spoon of sugar in it.

Yuck! In my balsamic vinegar?

173. How to make fluffy egg omelette.

Add a teaspoon of corn starch when mixing eggs.

175. How to stop cabbage odours.

Throw a couple of walnut kernels in pot while cooking.

177. How to keep cauliflower white.

Pour a little milk in the water when boiling cauliflower.

ATTN: NATIVE PEOPLES OF THE BRITISH ISLES - YOU ARE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO OFFER FOOD ADVICE STOP NOR ARE YOU ALLOWED TO EAT YOUR OWN COOKING STOP PLEASE CONTINUE WITH PLAN TO OBTAIN AND OR PURCHASE ALL FOOD FROM FIRST GENERATION IMMIGRANTS STOP EVEN IF IT MEANS YOU SWEAT MADRAS SAUCE AND CURRY STOP ALSO: THE ONLY WAY TO PREVENT QUOTE-UNQUOTE CABBAGE ODOURS IS TO NOT BOIL IT IN THE FIRST PLACE STOP THAT IS ALL FULLSTOP
posted by loquacious at 2:39 AM on August 2, 2005

Also, the domain name "inter-web.co.uk" makes me chuckle.
posted by loquacious at 2:41 AM on August 2, 2005

22. Low cost laminating -EASY.

Cover article with clear contact (cling film) paper.

For that professional finish.
posted by Joeforking at 2:57 AM on August 2, 2005

These ones are much more useful.
posted by PurpleJack at 3:31 AM on August 2, 2005

From PurpleJack's link:

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
posted by Acey at 5:44 AM on August 2, 2005

These are amazing, and secret, and make me feel like I'm in the kitchen wondering why my smart grandmother insists on some of this crazy stuff. It makes her seem less smart.
posted by OmieWise at 5:52 AM on August 2, 2005

43. Take lumps out of paint.

Cut a piece of screen to fit inside of can or bucket, it will float to bottom.


Float to the bottom, hey?

/pedant.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 6:35 AM on August 2, 2005

Metafilter: It will shine!
posted by odinsdream at 6:39 AM on August 2, 2005

Ah, those poor, AskMe-less souls who rely on this.
posted by orange swan at 7:03 AM on August 2, 2005

This seems like an interesting glimpse of a "pre-consumer-culture" approach to problem solving. For most of the items, my first reaction was "there's probably a product that I can buy to solve that."

I'm guessing the original compilers of these solutions would see buying a whole slew of specific products as more wasteful than using coffee, cold cream, walnuts, etc.
posted by bullitt 5 at 7:05 AM on August 2, 2005

Juliet Banana, as far as punching holes in the paint can -- this is actually a great tip. It just looks like it wasn't explained properly. Here's how it works: you take a nail or screw driver and, with a hammner, poke holes down in the channel of the lip or brim of the can all the way around (the circular "channel" is the groove you tap the lid down into when you put the lid back on). When this channel is perforated, the excess paint you wipe off your brush when dipping drains back into the can from the drip edged rather than filling the channel and spilling over the side. Learned this painting houses in college.
posted by Toecutter at 7:13 AM on August 2, 2005

78. Eliminate popcorn duds -fast.
Freeze it first then it will all pop.

From personal experience, this doesn't work. But maybe I just had crappy popcorn to start with.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:34 AM on August 2, 2005

I'm guessing the original compilers of these solutions would see buying a whole slew of specific products as more wasteful than using coffee, cold cream, walnuts, etc.

56. How to improve your IQ.
Hydrocotyle asiatica teas are a noted brain food.

Now there's value, hmm, did they try this before or after making the list?

This seems like an interesting glimpse of a "pre-consumer-culture"

Yes, poignant and charmingly innocent in it's mix of the mundane and wildly absurd: you'd think only LSD would pre-condition a person to believe cutting glass underwater with tin-snips would work.
posted by scheptech at 8:44 AM on August 2, 2005

Very Helpful Advice

Tape a chocolate bar to the outside of your microwave. If the chocolate
melts you will know that the microwaves are escaping and it is time to have
the oven serviced.

A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep.

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the
names and addresses of people you don't know.

Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle
the stain in permanent ink pen so that when you remove the garment from the
washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that
it has gone.

Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. I found that the
subsequent food poisoning enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe
whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

High blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,
thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Olympic athletes. Conceal the fact that you have taken performance enhancing
drugs by simply running a little slower and letting someone else win.

Heavy smokers: Don't throw away those filters from the end of your
cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to
insulate your ceiling.

Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin in
a bowl of iron fillings.

X File fans: Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two
bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place the following
morning, having had your memory mysteriously 'erased'.

A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps
when visiting the Sahara desert.

From rec.humor.funny
posted by faceonmars at 9:05 AM on August 2, 2005

My god, everything is red!

That was hilarious.

Re: colorblindness - I think he was referring to the afterimage you get when staring at that ugly cyan for too long.
posted by blendor at 9:39 AM on August 2, 2005

> 198. Truss poultry so it will stay.
>
> Use dental floss, it will not burn

Unscented dental floss, that is. With veal, used mint scented dental floss.
posted by NewBornHippy at 10:11 AM on August 2, 2005

> 168. How to kill taste of olive oil.
>
> Add a touch of salt.

Now, why on earth would you want to do that?
posted by NewBornHippy at 10:14 AM on August 2, 2005

197. Get rid of cooking odours.

Boil hand full of cloves in water for 30 minutes. All odours will disappear.

Ouch.
posted by sanko at 11:41 AM on August 2, 2005

I'm waiting for jimbob's report on number 17. I doubt it too.
posted by Crackerbelly at 11:54 AM on August 2, 2005

These sound like old wives' tales to me.

However, cutting a potato and wiping the cut on a windshield will keeping water from beading, and it's a lot cheaper the RainX. The weird old guy at the park told me that. Well he didn't tell me, he told a tree but he talked at a volume that carried several blocks.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 3:59 PM on August 2, 2005

Benzol sounds like pretty nifty stuff.
posted by ontic at 11:10 PM on August 2, 2005

Some of these must date back to the 1920's or 30's; i.e. #66. How to clean your ties. - Put tie in jar with some carbon tetrachloride, shake, take out and let dry.

When was carbon tet taken from the market because of its hazardous properties? In the US I believe it was last available in the 1950's.
posted by X4ster at 11:18 PM on August 2, 2005

Now we all know why this is secret and amazing! I also wondered about #16....
posted by Lynsey at 11:54 PM on August 2, 2005

71. How to freshen stale nuts.

Stick them in the oven for 15 minutes at 250 degrees.

Ouch.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 11:00 AM on August 3, 2005