The Tantra Chair (nsfw)

August 23, 2005 9:08 PM

The Tantra Chair (NSFW) seems like a great addition to any modern living room.
posted by SeizeTheDay (49 comments total)

For $1000, I'll wait for Ikea's knock-off, "Fuuker".
posted by Mercaptan at 9:14 PM on August 23, 2005 [2 favorites]

Please honey, if we just spend $1000 our sex life will get better. Promise!
posted by Nelson at 9:14 PM on August 23, 2005

A little more difficult to hide than a tube of Cherry Flavored Anal-Ease.
posted by sharksandwich at 9:17 PM on August 23, 2005

Any kid in shop class could make this for $100 worth of wood, laquer and fabric.
posted by camworld at 9:22 PM on August 23, 2005

I'm sorry, I don't see where this can be suspended by the pully/ratchet system from the ceiling like all my other sex chairs.
posted by Balisong at 9:27 PM on August 23, 2005 [1 favorite]

It's ugly. It looks so cheaply made, and the fabrics are corny. To hell with shiny satin fabric, wouldn't you want a slipcover that you could take off and wash? I can just imagine what that chair would look like after it was used about 5 or 6 times. Ew.
posted by iconomy at 9:28 PM on August 23, 2005

meh. where's the wanking chair for singles?
posted by moonbird at 9:29 PM on August 23, 2005

Moonbird, it does come with a hole for your "personal attachment."
posted by jrossi4r at 9:41 PM on August 23, 2005

From the makers of the Kama-Suchair^TM
posted by dgaicun at 9:41 PM on August 23, 2005

Wow, so you turn it over so the flat part is up and then commence with the bumpin'
What a great design! And so ergonomically correct!
posted by mk1gti at 9:43 PM on August 23, 2005

That is some lame-ass porn right there.
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:43 PM on August 23, 2005

For $1000, I'll wait for Ikea's knock-off, "Fuuker".

*spews coffee everywhere*
posted by squeak at 9:43 PM on August 23, 2005

A must have for any tantric bedroom bathroom!
posted by homunculus at 9:47 PM on August 23, 2005

The woman, or the guy, or both, depending upon your orientation, would be a great addition to the living room. The chair is for the birds.
posted by caddis at 9:49 PM on August 23, 2005

Ah, but that tabla and pan flute music just ties the whole thing together.
posted by ktoad at 9:52 PM on August 23, 2005

The only thing impressive about the Chair Of Loooove is that the models in the demo are actually having sex, which seems... well, both uniquely thorough and completely unnecessary at the same time.
posted by unixrat at 10:01 PM on August 23, 2005

man, i'm building one of these for the old ball and chain this weekend! ...now how to explain to her that it's a coffee table...
posted by NGnerd at 10:21 PM on August 23, 2005

Wow. The Kama-Suchair^TM has made the already popular "Ying-Yang" position even more popular. Another angle of the same porn.
posted by gilgamix at 10:24 PM on August 23, 2005

Mercaptan wins!
posted by killy willy at 10:34 PM on August 23, 2005

For $1000, I'll wait for Ikea's knock-off, "Fuuker".

10 points for that one.

The problem with the Ikea model is that if you put it together wrong, you could wind up crippling yourself and your partner permanently.
Or, once you realize that you've assembled the whole thing and there's a bolt missing from the package, you'll never trust your homemade, duct-tape solution to support the weight of two people and you'll wind up never using it.
posted by Jon-o at 10:46 PM on August 23, 2005

The high-heeled model.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:09 PM on August 23, 2005

I think I'd prefer to try the Body Bouncer, were I in the sex-chair market.
posted by callmejay at 11:28 PM on August 23, 2005

"100% solid woods"
posted by Mephistopheles at 12:16 AM on August 24, 2005

The IKEA one would be great, since you'd have to tighten the screws up after every single use.

And there's no single user modes for the males, boo!
posted by Talanvor at 1:03 AM on August 24, 2005

The Body Bouncer looks interesting, but they should have hired some models instead of the odd red/blue people. Also, the animation in the video looks like the guy's shooting a ray of death from his penis. That just weirds me right the hell out.
posted by Talanvor at 1:10 AM on August 24, 2005

sexy....i like the choice of fabric it comes in.
posted by Chimp at 2:03 AM on August 24, 2005

This chair ... it vibrates?
posted by ElvisJesus at 2:08 AM on August 24, 2005

I'm going to make one out of Legos.
posted by hal9k at 3:11 AM on August 24, 2005

do you have to screw it together yourself?
posted by Stars Kitten at 3:39 AM on August 24, 2005

I see this in a cluttered garage beside the 1989 Thunderbird and near the wall covered with Coors cartons, stapled like wallpaper.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 3:49 AM on August 24, 2005

I'd hit it.
posted by tr33hggr at 4:23 AM on August 24, 2005

Delivered in a plain brown wrapper I presume?
posted by fluffycreature at 4:41 AM on August 24, 2005

A great new addition to any stabbin' cabin!™
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:05 AM on August 24, 2005

Man, that's a whole lotta lens flare in the intro. Interesting chair though.
posted by Who_Am_I at 5:09 AM on August 24, 2005

"Satisfied Customers 100%"

Enough said.
posted by OmieWise at 5:21 AM on August 24, 2005

I'm sorry but am I alone in thinking that the Body Bouncer™ requires nothing less than a steel-hard, twelve-inch boner?

(Not that I couldn't, you know, provide that at a moment's notice...hrm, hrm...)
posted by the sobsister at 5:27 AM on August 24, 2005

Many of us are not interested in tantra. Do they make a chair for 15 minutes of diddling? Bonus if it has a place to keep the book you're going to read and a box of tissues. And maybe mp3 playback so that you'll murmur "Love you!" even if you're too drunk to remember yourself.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:30 AM on August 24, 2005

"book you're going to read right after"

During would be both difficult and rude.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:31 AM on August 24, 2005

Gee, how innovative. You can do the same thing with some stacked pillows on a bed.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:34 AM on August 24, 2005

the models in the demo are actually having sex

And looking completely bored while they do it. Is that what tantric sex is about, losing all interest in the activity so you can keep from sweating up your Tantra Chair?
posted by languagehat at 7:01 AM on August 24, 2005

but...but... "from the dawna time"!

pah. you should be able to rent one before you buy, but that gets into the whole "used erotica" bit of which Tom Waits has an amusing little monologue
posted by edgeways at 9:07 AM on August 24, 2005

Sting owns one.
posted by klangklangston at 9:25 AM on August 24, 2005 [1 favorite]

For $1000, I'll wait for Ikea's knock-off, "Fuuker".

*spews coffee everywhere*

Dude, you should really see a doctor about that.
And maybe cut back on the java a little, eh?
posted by MikeKD at 10:28 AM on August 24, 2005

During would be both difficult and rude.

tell that to Jennifer Connelly
posted by mr.marx at 12:49 PM on August 24, 2005

Isn't the Body Bounce thing just a trampoline with a hole in the middle? You don't need to spend $100 on a dysfunctional trampoline. I'll just wait for the Walmart model, cheap-sex.
posted by vodkadin at 2:10 PM on August 24, 2005

camworld writes "Any kid in shop class could make this for $100 worth of wood,"

There's at least 25 board feet of mahogany in this chair, probably closer to 30, which would blow your $100 budget all by itself. I'm surprised that a low volume item like this is only $1000. If I was making this for a customer it'd price out at a couple grand easy.

What it really needs is a little cupboard in the side of the large end to store all your accessories. Or maybe under the seat.
posted by Mitheral at 6:08 PM on August 24, 2005 [1 favorite]

Think how many sex toys you could buy for $1,000.
posted by MonkeyC at 7:12 PM on August 24, 2005

Is it me, or is the Body Bouncer sort of like using a walker to have sex? A bouncy walker. "Well, grannie's knees aren't what they used to be...but she's still got her urges." I bet they sell a lot of these to these geriatric set. The having to lean on something to give a blowjob illustration is telling...
posted by umberto at 9:01 PM on August 24, 2005

I think the La-Z-Boy folks should license both products and produce a line of rocking, heated, vibrating Tantric La-Z-Bouncers, complete with drinks pods, footrests and a whole swack of control levers. Then when you're too old to be interested in making whoopie anymore, you can just sit in the damn thing and watch TV.
posted by GoatCactus at 12:18 AM on August 25, 2005