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Yes, Lysol.
August 25, 2005 3:51 PM   Subscribe

Lysol?
posted by jonson (79 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
ewww.
posted by jonmc at 3:52 PM on August 25, 2005


Nice use of the "cooterwash" tag!
posted by greasy_skillet at 3:54 PM on August 25, 2005


jesus fucking burning christ! Ow!

Are there also ads recommending Drano for constipation??
posted by zerokey at 3:55 PM on August 25, 2005


Nice use of the "cooterwash" tag!

I had always wondered what that tag was even FOR, until I thought of this post. Glad to finally have a use for the darn thing.
posted by jonson at 3:57 PM on August 25, 2005


Soft on the hoohoo while you scrub the floor!
posted by Robot Johnny at 3:57 PM on August 25, 2005


And hey, if it works down there, why not gargle with it? or clean your ears out? Or maybe use it with your contacts next time they're dirty?

IT'S A BOTTLE OF A THOUSAND USES!!!111!`1!@~
posted by Parannoyed at 3:58 PM on August 25, 2005


Related.
posted by tellurian at 4:00 PM on August 25, 2005


At first I was just thinking BJ's - but I'm so mod.
posted by guruguy9 at 4:04 PM on August 25, 2005


Nothing like a lady's keener what smells like clean linoleum.
posted by Specklet at 4:05 PM on August 25, 2005


I'm not really one to bitch about a single-link FPP, but this is a little ridiculous...one link, one page, to a single ad about a single topic.
posted by Kickstart70 at 4:07 PM on August 25, 2005


I vote Republican to get back to happier times like this.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 4:08 PM on August 25, 2005


Nice non-use of the "Lysol" tag.
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:19 PM on August 25, 2005


"No greasy aftereffect."

*blinks*
posted by icosahedral at 4:23 PM on August 25, 2005


Lysol?
posted by Kwantsar at 4:25 PM on August 25, 2005


Because your husband would, of course, prefer a stinky drippy yeast infection thanks to your constant doucheing.
posted by xthlc at 4:26 PM on August 25, 2005


Kickstart70 needs to shut up. This is awesome, in a nasty nasty nasty sort of way. Cool find.
posted by chunking express at 4:26 PM on August 25, 2005


The rest of the guy's blog is kind of amusing...this paragraph will stick with me...

Sleep apnea. Ha! It's another of those fake ailments we make up for ourselves, to add drama to our lives. Like peanut allergies. When I was a kid everybody gobbled down peanut butter sandwiches as if the Russians were in Weston, and I can't remember them hauling away any body bags. Ya know? Not once did I witness one of my classmates bite into a peanut butter cracker, drop to the floor, and proceed to expand to twice his normal size. It would've been pretty cool, though.
posted by nomisxid at 4:30 PM on August 25, 2005


why not gargle with it?
thinking BJ's
I recently read a quick trick ridding a patch of dry/flaky skin was dabbing it with Listerine mouthwash…wouldn’t be surprise if it were used here too.
posted by thomcatspike at 4:34 PM on August 25, 2005


jonson being jonson, I expected to end up somewhere like this when I clicked.

I'm not sure which would've been worse.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:34 PM on August 25, 2005



Lysol!
posted by angry modem at 4:35 PM on August 25, 2005


photoshop
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 5:02 PM on August 25, 2005


I'd like to send a shout-out to Jeff Kay at the bunker!
posted by Mick at 5:06 PM on August 25, 2005


Thank you for the link. This is particularly interesting to me, as I learned recently that my aunt Linda was forced to douche with Lysol by her step-mother Evelyn, and that was in the late 1960s. At the time I thought it was an example of Evelyn's sadism, but I see it was a common practice in the early 20th century.
posted by nonmerci at 5:09 PM on August 25, 2005


This is good, if nasty, nasty stuff.

But the real question is, who's gonna send away for the free booklet of information about spraying Lysol in your's or someone you love's vagina?

Makeshifts like salt and soda? Who in their right mind is going to stuff salt in their vagina in the hopes that it'll "make them fresher"?
posted by fenriq at 5:10 PM on August 25, 2005


Wait, if she's got the Lysol, what have I been cleaning the counters with?
posted by 23skidoo at 5:12 PM on August 25, 2005


Why not just hang this from the clitoris?


posted by wakko at 5:17 PM on August 25, 2005


Nope, MonkeySaltedNuts, it's not...

Lysol started it's life as a Feminine Disinfectant, as evidenced by ads over at the Museum Of Menstruation:

The Love Quiz and The Girl He Married.

Lysol, which apparently hasn't changed formulas in it's journey from the healthcare to cleaning aisle, was also used as a spermicide and an abortificant. Margot Kidder wrote about her experience of having an abortion using Lysol in The Choices We Made.
posted by aristan at 5:20 PM on August 25, 2005 [1 favorite]


oh, and maybe we should be more worried that this is what Fresca used to mean.

I need to go back to Diet Coke.
posted by aristan at 5:22 PM on August 25, 2005


She's trying to open the door of the vagina shower?
posted by NewBornHippy at 5:30 PM on August 25, 2005


Is that like an eyewash, except not?
posted by wakko at 5:35 PM on August 25, 2005


And this is where One makes a Cartmanesque 'Sand In Your Vagina' joke.

I'll be here all week.
posted by aristan at 5:42 PM on August 25, 2005


"Why not just hang this from the clitoris?"

wakko, that's what navel piercings are for.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:42 PM on August 25, 2005


jonson being jonson, I expected to end up somewhere like this when I clicked.

m_c_d, where do you get these crazy ideas about me?
posted by jonson at 5:44 PM on August 25, 2005


Personally, I think jonson is a douchebag for posting this.
posted by Citizen Premier at 6:01 PM on August 25, 2005


I remember coming across a similar ad in an old magazine I came across in my high school art classroom. Much giggling and gasping occurred.

Lyson acts in a way that makeshifts like soap, salt or soda never can.
Salt? Tasty!
posted by smartyboots at 6:03 PM on August 25, 2005


That's nothing! Did you know that before Preparation H was a tasty sandwhich spread, they actually used it to treat hemorrhoids?
posted by ericbop at 6:15 PM on August 25, 2005


sandwich
posted by ericbop at 6:16 PM on August 25, 2005


MonkeySaltedNuts : "photoshop"
aristan : "Nope, MonkeySaltedNuts, it's not... "

I'm not questioning whether Lysol started out as a douche. It is just that I think the link may be a photoshop. Compare it, to 1 and 2 from the Museum Of Menstruation.

First the typography is wrong. The linked version is much more modern looking and may be a simple laser printer job.

Second, the linked version is too explicit - "truely clenses the vaginal canal even in the presence of mucus matter". The museum examples only hint at the problem i.e. feminine hygine, douche, personal grooming.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 6:23 PM on August 25, 2005


I remember some drunken hook-ups when it would have been useful to have some Lysol before going in.
posted by flarbuse at 6:24 PM on August 25, 2005



posted by squalor at 6:36 PM on August 25, 2005


Kickstart70 needs to shut up.

Thanks, but nope. One of the joys of freedom of expression.

Like saying someone who complains about my statement is a bag for a Lysol douche.

Not that I'd ever do that.
posted by Kickstart70 at 6:36 PM on August 25, 2005


First the typography is wrong. The linked version is much more modern looking and may be a simple laser printer job.

What are you a Swift Boat Veteran?

The second ad you link is from the 1920s or 30s (look at the auto), while the one from the FPP is from the 1950s.

Meanwhile, look at this magazine ad from 1950, which has very similar typography to the FPP.
posted by briank at 6:39 PM on August 25, 2005


Better closeup of the Toni ad
posted by briank at 6:40 PM on August 25, 2005


Q. Why does Miss Piggy douche with vinegar and honey?

A. Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

(sorry)
posted by iconomy at 7:08 PM on August 25, 2005


The original has a URL for Strange Cosmos on it, when you head over to Strange Cosmos and find the image... it's got two URLs... the one for Strange Cosmos and the one for AdFlip. The Linked image is cropped to remove it:

Original

Another Lysol Ad on Strange Cosmos from 1944 that mentions 'sensitive vaginal tissues'.

Another Strange Ad from Lysol involving spiderwebs and douching. I am not kidding.
posted by aristan at 7:13 PM on August 25, 2005


That Lysol ad with the spiderwebs is hilarious.
posted by nonmerci at 7:17 PM on August 25, 2005


Best. Post. Ever.
posted by Skygazer at 7:19 PM on August 25, 2005


That headline on the original post is just horrible. It reads like it was translated from another, lesser language.

The first photo in the spiderwebs ad is going up on my wall.

I wonder why they used quotes around Lysol?
posted by smackfu at 7:50 PM on August 25, 2005


Saw it in sex psych class last term.
posted by Dean Keaton at 7:58 PM on August 25, 2005


Hey, BrianK...

thanks for my new addiction. I have so many great ads over on AdFlip...

Midol Ad - Betty's Gay!

You'll lose weight with Ayds!

The Easiest Way to Travel With Children
posted by aristan at 8:04 PM on August 25, 2005


I know a great way to travel with children in airplanes: sleeping aids crushed into 6 ounce bottles of Hi-C.
posted by Dean Keaton at 8:06 PM on August 25, 2005


A strange thought occurred to me after reading through this stuff. This probably means that somewhere there are a group of elderly guys who really really get turned on by the smell of lysol
posted by edgeways at 8:14 PM on August 25, 2005 [1 favorite]


another testimonial from a satisfied customer

" I have tried many commercial carpet solutions over the years, most of which didn't work and had chemicals or fragrances that made me sick. Nothing has ever worked as well as the Lysol. I can always see improvement in my breathing after doing this."

i'm so going to hell for this
posted by pyramid termite at 8:33 PM on August 25, 2005


I'm sure it would be even more effective when used in conjunction with Scotch-Brite pads.
posted by c13 at 8:57 PM on August 25, 2005


Oh man the TONE of those Lysol ads. I thought I was a misogynist. "A man marries a woman because he loves her. So instead of blaming him of married love starts to cool, she should question herself." WHAT?!? No wonder so many women are neurotic.

I've been with a few women in lo these many many moons, and there were only four I've known who smelled BAD "down there": one turned out to have chlamydia ("girl, trust me, you need a doctor"), one just didn't wash, and two had yeast infections -- one from antibiotics and one from "Summer's Eve".

Did women think their "privates" smelled before these douches and disinfectants came out?

And why don't more men worry about wet farts and skid marks?
posted by davy at 9:40 PM on August 25, 2005


aristan: Your "original" link is to strange cosmos, not ad-flip, and I don't want to register at ad-flip just to search out and see their image.

I have heard that Lysol was marketed as birth control with some double meanings in their ads. In the text of the ads so far posted I have not been able to pick up on this second meaning, other than maybe "kills germs" = "kills sperms", and maybe "wives being wedding fresh" = "not pregnant". Mostly the ads imply there is a smell problem, which my wife has only when she is "on the rag". The FPP link, if real, is the most explicit, since a mucus filled vaginal canal is either the result of sex or a condition that needs medical attention.

Real mucus is good for you. Most all of the passages in, out, and through our bodies are coated with mucus for protection. The horrible part of the hidden Lysol campaign was that it equated mucus, sexual fluids, runaway microorganism growth, and pus from disease as all the same - a thing that Lysol could remove to make things squeaky (or dry as sandpaper) clean.
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 9:52 PM on August 25, 2005



Is this really real?
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:17 PM on August 25, 2005


Here also should mentioned the Coca Cola douche. The Fugs did a song about it but I have been unable to turn up the lyrics online.

They held that it was good for birth control and as far I remember they said introduction of caffeine through the vaginal membranes made "my baby buck like a wildcat".
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 10:17 PM on August 25, 2005


Your "original" link is to strange cosmos, not ad-flip, and I don't want to register at ad-flip just to search out and see their image.

MSN: Yes, I sent the link to the Strange Cosmos site for the exact same reason: I'm not a member either.

Lysol was used as a contraceptive up until 1960, and this is probably a much later ad that the ads on MUM.
posted by aristan at 1:34 AM on August 26, 2005



This might be a little bit off topic but as a kids, Lysol, provided my brother and I endless hours of fun on rainy days when the parents were slaving away. As a lighter flame placed in the aerosol blast of above mentioned err..."feminine hygeine product", makes for one sweet scary somnabitch flame thrower.
posted by Skygazer at 7:50 AM on August 26, 2005


The advertisement reads like a husband is to hand it to his wife when he comes home from work. Honey, I’d thought we would have sex tonight. Thus being thrifty, I purchased Lysol for you to fresh up with, than expensive perfume. Plus you can clean the bathroom’s sink and toilet when your done using the room.

Woman douche with Lysol – so when walking by your man it squeaks: clean, for him to think like a pig.
posted by thomcatspike at 7:58 AM on August 26, 2005


Totally sick ad that yes, I've seen before. And a ridiculous FPP.

It's still shocking how misogynistic that era was - when it wasn't that long ago. I can't think of much else worse for a vagina than Lysol.
posted by agregoli at 9:03 AM on August 26, 2005


This is funny, because we normally don't put household cleaning products in our vaginas.
posted by found missing at 9:20 AM on August 26, 2005


Back when they really did this, they did dilute the actual product (not to say that makes it any better as a concept.)

I know an old woman who once got up in the middle of the night with a sore throat, and gargled in the dark with what she thought was mouthwash. It was the smell that she caught first. She spit it out and turned on the light, and has not been able to taste anything since.
posted by unrepentanthippie at 9:29 AM on August 26, 2005


This is funny, because we normally don't put household cleaning products in our vaginas.

I don't find it funny in the least that women were pressured to put household poisons in the most sensitive part of their bodies because, gasp, they *might* have an offensive odor (all women being dirty, of course). Do it ladies! Your husbands might like your more!
posted by agregoli at 10:16 AM on August 26, 2005


Way to make it not funny.
posted by found missing at 10:40 AM on August 26, 2005


This is funny, because agregoli failed to detect found missing's sarcasm
posted by Outlawyr at 10:45 AM on August 26, 2005


Maybe I did, but I don't even feel a hint of a joke is appropriate here. The tone of this thread is overwhelmingly, "Wow, isn't this hysterical!" I can't help but feel awful at the very concept of this, and the fact that thousands of women bought the advertising and DID this to themselves. It's horrific.

Sorry if that ruins the joke, but this *is* a pretty awful thing.
posted by agregoli at 10:54 AM on August 26, 2005


Some people find it amusing, some find it horrifying; life is subjective that way. No one will try to argue you into finding it funny, nor should you try to scold anyone into finding it tragic. The bullying of appropriate behavior is the mortal enemy of the cooterwash tag.
posted by jonson at 11:08 AM on August 26, 2005


Since when am I scolding? I find it tragic. End of story. My finding it tragic doesn't infringe on anyone finding it funny.

Geez.
posted by agregoli at 11:29 AM on August 26, 2005


Since when am I scolding?

I dunno, how long has it been since time immemorial?
posted by jonmc at 12:04 PM on August 26, 2005


And you feel the need to make that kind of comment, why, exactly, jonmc? Why are you trying to be hurtful towards me?

I know it only encourages the pile-on, but I'm really very hurt by this. I don't know what is wrong with my sharing of my opinion on this rather weak FPP. I'm sorry if it wasn't appropriate to use the word "appropriate" but I wasn't trying to scold anyone. I was trying to inject a little bit of the seriousness and sadness with which I regard these types of things. My first reaction to an ad like this might be, "Wow, that's crazy," but my second reaction is one of deep sorrow at what millions of women before me have had to go through and the shame they've been made to feel about their own bodies.

It breaks my heart and that's probably a joke to a lot of you too, but oh well. I can't help how I feel. Carry on with the boyfest.
posted by agregoli at 12:10 PM on August 26, 2005


Boyfest? I find the ad funny and creepy. I find the thought of actual women using Lysol as a douche to be sad and creepy. My opinion on the matter is not dictated by my genitals.
posted by 23skidoo at 12:36 PM on August 26, 2005


I apologize for that. No, your opinion is certainly not dictated by your genitals.
posted by agregoli at 12:54 PM on August 26, 2005


And you feel the need to make that kind of comment, why, exactly, jonmc? Why are you trying to be hurtful towards me?

Like you, I'm just stating an opinion. You blame everything on misogyny and patriarchical oppression. It's boring as hell. I don't know you well enough to want to be hurtful towards you. But if you put your words in a public forum, people are going to offer their opinions on them. Get a helmet, cupcake.
posted by jonmc at 4:41 PM on August 26, 2005


Not to mention, why the hell do you even care what I think of you?
posted by jonmc at 4:42 PM on August 26, 2005


Cupcake helmet
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:24 PM on August 26, 2005


I think that some of you may be missing the point, at least the point that I see.

Lysol, the brand name of a cleaner made of Cresol, was not always a household cleaner. It began it's life as a surgical antiseptic. So when women of the period were using it, they were simply using a chemical that served much the same purpose in hospitals.

Later it was found that other chemicals could be used for the same purposes and were less toxic.

This debate isn't "Women are stupid" or "Men are pigs". Hell... it's not even really a debate. I think most people are thinking "People in the first half of the 20th century were crazy". This is after all a period of time that thought Lysol was a good douche, that Asbestos made for terrific sleepwear, that Xray Machines were the perfect accessory for the shoe store, and that Nuclear Bomb test sites were terrific tourist attractions.

Hindsight is 20/20 and we know better now.

There's still tons of things that people put on/in their bodies that if they actually knew the ingredients, they'd never use again. I work in a store where we've noticed that yogurt covered candy actually contains a couple of ingredients that are also in Housepaint. They're all non-toxic of course... but after, they felt Lysol was non-toxic too.
posted by aristan at 9:04 PM on August 26, 2005


I remember coming across a similar ad in an old magazine I came across in my high school art classroom. Much giggling and gasping occurred.

I don't think we need to hear about your onanistic adventures, do we?
posted by jack_mo at 4:14 PM on August 28, 2005


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