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August 31, 2005 4:02 PM   Subscribe

You knew it was going to happen. God sent Hurricane Katrina to prevent the Labor Day celebration of homosexual sin known as "Southern Decadence". Apparently, he is also is not a big fan of the Girls Gone Wild video series.
posted by jmccorm (61 comments total)

 
Props to aleupp for finding this story, and his friend, FL.
posted by jmccorm at 4:03 PM on August 31, 2005


Ironically, their final leave-behind, a quote from Matthew, pretty much unravels the theological basis of their assertion:

"[God] sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." (Matthew 5:45)
posted by psmealey at 4:07 PM on August 31, 2005


See also ...
posted by ericb at 4:08 PM on August 31, 2005


God just couldn't reach Massachusetts or what? Because we were threatened with plenty of hellfire a few years ago and it never materialized. But He seems to be really good at killing people in areas where He is big.
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:08 PM on August 31, 2005


Don't feed the media trolls. They're saying outrageous shit so that we pay attention and mention them on the news. They are batshit insane and don't deserve the attention.
posted by mathowie at 4:09 PM on August 31, 2005


If God really hated gays, wouldn't he have waited until they were actually there, rather than sparing them all the misery?
posted by jmccorm at 4:22 PM on August 31, 2005


A, schadenfreude my old friend.
posted by signal at 4:24 PM on August 31, 2005


Sounds like someone bought non-refundable tickets!
posted by plexiwatt at 4:29 PM on August 31, 2005


I predicted that someone would get around to saying this. Not that it's a hard thing to predict.

Evidently my home was destroyed and many of my friends are missing because God hates fags. Well fuck you, God.

These people make me sick.

(On an aside, how do they explain the devastation in other areas... Biloxi, etc. Is it the gambling thing? Is the entire Gulf Coast sinful?)
posted by brundlefly at 4:31 PM on August 31, 2005


Okay, okay, okay.

Natural disasters will always be ascribed by the lunatic religious nutters as God's wrath. This is a well known and completely baseless conclusion arrived at to fit premises already well held in hand. If your God hates something, its not your God, its you.

brundlefly, I'm truly sorry to hear about your house and missing friends. I'll hope that your friends are hunkered down somewhere and they'll be okay.
posted by fenriq at 4:35 PM on August 31, 2005


There's lots of this going around.
posted by fleetmouse at 4:35 PM on August 31, 2005


For all the people left and suffering in NO, God obviously doesn't like the poors and the minorities -- but we already knew that.
posted by NewBornHippy at 4:37 PM on August 31, 2005


jmccorm WINS! THREAD CLOSED! GO HOME!
posted by mr.curmudgeon at 4:39 PM on August 31, 2005


Oh, so everything big and bad that happens to lots of anyone is not just God's will, but an explicit message from the Big He, eh?

Whatever happened to charity? Good works? Love for all? Not being a judgemental hardass?

Speaking as a former Christian, current athiest.... Note that it's not Christians, real ones, who are the idiots doing things like this, it's people, thinking themselves Christians (usually literalist Christians as that), talking loudly about their very narrow perspective on small sections of the Bible. It doesn't take a genius to see that Jesus would be shaking his head sadly at these people.
posted by JHarris at 4:43 PM on August 31, 2005


Also, what's with the Girls Gone Wild link? I'm not seeing how it has anything to do with the Southern Decadence or Katrina unless a Katrina stars in one of the videos and she gives coastally destructive fellatio or something?
posted by fenriq at 4:45 PM on August 31, 2005


Don't give the lunatics a stage, it only encourages them. Although, one has to appreciate the creativity behind the whole hurricane-as-fetus hypothesis that's circling around some of those groups keen on Jesus.

That's a special kind of crazy - one that really needs to be isolated and studied for the benefit of all mankind.
posted by SweetJesus at 4:46 PM on August 31, 2005


> "[God] sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." (Matthew 5:45)

In other words, it's going to rain. What a freaking revelation -- wow, religion is fucking powerful.
posted by NewBornHippy at 4:47 PM on August 31, 2005


Apparently, he is also is not a big fan of the Girls Gone Wild video series.

I've heard he liked the earlier ones, but thinks the writing's gone downhill since season 3.
posted by jalexei at 4:54 PM on August 31, 2005


FTFA: ...this act of God destroyed a wicked city," stated Repent America director Michael Marcavage. "From ‘Girls Gone Wild’ to ‘Southern Decadence’...

How does this guy know so much about Girls Gone Wild and gay carnivals? I bet he has quite and impressive porn collection, I mean "research library" ... "uh, yeah, yeah I was just doing some some uh, research, yeah, research, and uh, my pants just fell down! ... I was doing research, I swear! Look at all these hot young sinners! No, I'm not wearing devil costume... it's a jogging suit... I was excercising... yeah, and doing research... "
posted by StarForce5 at 4:55 PM on August 31, 2005


Vengeful wind-fetuses, anti-gay weather.... There's always going to be people who are upset and unhinged and need to find some sillyass explanation for something so horrible that they can't wrap their heads around it.
Me, I'm waiting for Pat Robertson to blame it on Hugo Chavez.
posted by maryh at 4:55 PM on August 31, 2005


StarForce5, thanks, I must have missed that in my reading of the link.

maryh, I'm still waiting for Robertson's reply to Chavez offering to help the US out with its oil problem.
posted by fenriq at 5:00 PM on August 31, 2005


I wonder if Fred Phelps registered godhatesneworleans.com yet. Hmmm...
posted by daninnj at 5:05 PM on August 31, 2005


I would just like to say that between the phrases "vengeful wind-fetuses" and "coastally destructive fellatio," this might be the best Metafilter thread ever.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:06 PM on August 31, 2005


Nope, but someone redirected it to the Red Cross with the message "God hates New Orleans? What are you, 8 years old? :V" Props to them.
posted by daninnj at 5:06 PM on August 31, 2005


Sorry, I just have to type "vengeful wind-fetus".

Okay, one more time: "vengeful wind-fetus".
posted by WolfDaddy at 5:13 PM on August 31, 2005


Wasn't the French Quarter largely spared by Katrina? If anything, that sounds like proof that God likes Girls Gone Wild. "And on the 7th day, God made breasts and they were good."
posted by jonp72 at 5:13 PM on August 31, 2005


What - the south is gayer than New York now? I know some people who are going to be extremely pissed off to hear that!
posted by Decani at 5:14 PM on August 31, 2005


I'm waiting for Pat Robertson to blame it on Hugo Chavez
Robertson has claimed to have used the power of prayer to divert hurricanes in the past. He said he did this with hurricane gloria, in the early 80s- directed it away from his headquarters and directly thru MY NEIGHBORHOOD.... bastard.
posted by TechnoLustLuddite at 5:23 PM on August 31, 2005


"vengeful wind-fetus"
posted by boo_radley at 5:23 PM on August 31, 2005


Reverend Phelps also has his boilerplate inane diatribe up.

It took these guys two full days each to write a page of HTML?
posted by wakko at 5:26 PM on August 31, 2005


Actually, if you superimpose pictures of Castro, Chavez and Bin Laden the resulting image looks EXACTLY like that one picture of Katrina.

Man, these mushrooms are a good batch.
posted by Decani at 5:29 PM on August 31, 2005


The French Quarter is gayer than a $3 bill, and has the Pottery Barn to prove it. Every year the preachers show up to protest Southern Decadence, often taping the shenanigans as "evidence."

There was a big to-do last year when one of the more prominent preachers was caught trying to talk revelers into doing naughty things for his camera... Cooking up incriminating* footage, in other words. Video cameras are no longer allowed in most gay bars as a consequence.

*By "incriminating" I mean "featuring consensual sexual contact between adults."
posted by brundlefly at 5:33 PM on August 31, 2005


Gag me with a "meh." Of course it was going to devolve to this tripe; it's the only way the Jeebus-Creebus paleocons can gain any kind of political attention from this horrid catastrophe.
posted by moonbird at 5:38 PM on August 31, 2005


Funny how it never, ever occurs to the religious nutjobs that it is themselves God sendeth rain to cleanse and scourge. These are the same exemplars of retarded morality who said that the Pacific tsunami not long ago was God's judgement on the mostly Muslim countries that suffered it. And yet, somehow, the hurricane isn't God's judgement on New Orleans, Florida, or the USA as a whole - just the "internal enemy".
posted by aeschenkarnos at 5:43 PM on August 31, 2005


People suck.
posted by nightchrome at 5:58 PM on August 31, 2005


I wondered how long this would take.

Has anyone tried blaming Bush directly for the hurricane? There's always the angle about how convienient it is to take attention away from Iraq and how it corresponds nicely with the timing of 9/11, where 9/11 and this hurricane both occurred at roughly the same point in Bush's first and second terms. Perhaps Bush has since perfected his weather-controlling machine and doesn't have to resort to Terrorists to create disasters.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:16 PM on August 31, 2005


Off topic: I'm touched to see the world-wide financial and moral support pouring in for these U.S. flood victims.
posted by Kloryne at 6:20 PM on August 31, 2005


Figures that Meta would hate on the right wing nuts while ignoring the moonbat lefties.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. informs us that hurricances are due to global warming, and Mississipi was hit worse than New Orleans because Haley Barbour didn't support Kyoto:

"For They That Sow the Wind Shall Reap the Whirlwind”

This month, a study published in the journal Nature by a renowned MIT climatologist linked the increasing prevalence of destructive hurricanes to human-induced global warming.

Now we are all learning what it’s like to reap the whirlwind of fossil fuel dependence which Barbour and his cronies have encouraged. Our destructive addiction has given us a catastrophic war in the Middle East and--now--Katrina is giving our nation a glimpse of the climate chaos we are bequeathing our children.


posted by dand at 6:20 PM on August 31, 2005


MeFiers across the pond in Old Blighty: Do you lot have these kinds of nutjobs over there as well?
posted by alumshubby at 6:44 PM on August 31, 2005


I was going to start a thread claiming that the Flying Spaghetti Monster loves teh gay, and sent the hurricane early to spare them. One of these days, I swear, I'm going to stop procrastinating.
posted by mullingitover at 6:46 PM on August 31, 2005


Well, you can certainly find the nutjobs in Germany.
posted by ed at 7:13 PM on August 31, 2005


Just wait 'till the Mardi Gras celebrations next year. I'll bet they'll be epic. God, you failed.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:14 PM on August 31, 2005


moonbat lefties

Way to call yourself out, Freeper. There's enough heft in RFK's article to actually be worth printing (and reading). Do I buy it 100%? Not entirely, not yet... but it is thought-provoking.
posted by psmealey at 7:22 PM on August 31, 2005


Why does anyone give a fuck what Fred Phelps thinks? Every proclamation he makes trims the "righteous" down even further. Eventually he'll have eliminated everyone but himself. I say we let him so he's exposed as the self-righteous fraud he is.
posted by jonmc at 7:28 PM on August 31, 2005


MetaFilter: Gayer than a $3 bill, and has the Pottery Barn to prove it.

Nightcrome: People suck.

Seconded.
posted by spazzm at 7:58 PM on August 31, 2005


All religous demagouges would be reduced to crazed beggars on street corners if only people would stop paying attention to them.
posted by spazzm at 8:05 PM on August 31, 2005


See, I don't necessarily believe in God, but the God I don't believe in would either a) not be so petty as to give a damn (literally, in His case) what consensual hijinks people got up to, or b) would have better aim: just to get New Orleans he had to chew up half of Mississippi, which is chock full of His pals.

I also get a perverse kick out of people standing amidst rubble, floodwaters, and grieving masses whilst unashamedly saying it was only because of God's love that they escaped with their lives. The God I don't believe in is not nearly that psychotic. Talk about passive-aggressive personalities...
posted by umberto at 9:15 PM on August 31, 2005


I don't blame Bush for the hurricane, but I'm very disappointed that Bruce Willis did nothing to stop it.
posted by soiled cowboy at 10:07 PM on August 31, 2005



posted by Dean Keaton at 10:40 PM on August 31, 2005


Hmmm... that RepentAmerica guy is sorta hot, in a sullen, conflicted sort of way... On second thought, his head is weirdly wedge-shaped, and he doesn't know how to hem his pants.

Nope. Not good enough to get into *my* heaven.
posted by ottereroticist at 11:28 PM on August 31, 2005


dand, did you read the article you linked to?

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. informs us that hurricances are due to global warming, and Mississipi was hit worse than New Orleans because Haley Barbour didn't support Kyoto

actually, Kennedy says that hurricanes are due to global warming -- and points to a study by a respected climatologist from a top-notch university, appearing in a peer-reviewed, well-respected scientific journal. Which of these data points do you object to, specifically?

And he says nothing about the respective damage in LA vs. MS as cosmic payback for Barbour's Kyoto policy.

Again: did you read the article? I really wanna know.
posted by Vidiot at 12:20 AM on September 1, 2005


Interesting how these "Christians" forget that they're not supposed to pass judgement, which includes morally-biased theories as to why weather events took place in a specific locale.

May it return to them threefold.
posted by deusdiabolus at 1:19 AM on September 1, 2005


Ignore the goofballs and they'll go away. This guy feeds off the media attention he gets. The fact that the majority is negative only gives him more reason for "reaching the lost".
posted by flagellum at 3:16 AM on September 1, 2005


Figures that Meta would hate on the right wing nuts while ignoring the moonbat lefties.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. informs us that hurricances are due to global warming, and Mississipi was hit worse than New Orleans because Haley Barbour didn't support Kyoto:
[snip]

... and ...

Well, you can certainly find the nutjobs in Germany.

This one pretty sure was not due to global warming - yet.

However, global consensus among non-US scientists (and most from the US, too) is that hurricanes soon will be. And they are not going to be stopped without the help of the largest polluting nation in the world, who doesn't give a shit because of "national interest" (read: personal greed).

However inappropriate and tactless the timing for such comments, you can't really blame them for being frustrated about seeing the globe going down the crapper and not being able to to much about it, however much they reduce their own pollution.
posted by uncle harold at 4:37 AM on September 1, 2005


MeFiers across the pond in Old Blighty: Do you lot have these kinds of nutjobs over there as well?

Nar... we shipped them all over to you long ago.
posted by gwildar at 4:49 AM on September 1, 2005


MeFiers across the pond in Old Blighty: Do you lot have these kinds of nutjobs over there as well?

Yes, but in far, far smaller numbers. And you mainly find them ranting and drooling spittle on street corners whilst being roundly mocked by guffawing passers-by. Not in the mainstream media or the corridors of power.
posted by Decani at 6:53 AM on September 1, 2005


Actually, this is just a natural extension of faith-based science. Once we get intelligent design into science classes, can faith-based weather reporting be far behind?
posted by leftcoastbob at 7:04 AM on September 1, 2005


I lived with a guy nicknamed Dumb John, who made cheese in our sink and managed to leave the house a total fucking mess, and didn't help with move-out. A couple months ago, he moved to New Orleans.
God is punishing him for being a total prick about stealing my tools and phone when our lease was over.
Way to go, John. I hope you've learned your lesson.
posted by klangklangston at 7:59 AM on September 1, 2005


"MeFiers across the pond in Old Blighty: Do you lot have these kinds of nutjobs over there as well?

Nar... we shipped them all over to you long ago."


Yes, we call them the Pilgrims, the founders of our nation.

Note that they were so religiously uptight that even the Dutch couldn't stand them - says an awful lot, huh?

Meanwhile, I'd sure like to get some coastally destructive fellatio... but I guess I'd have to move out of LA beforehand, as I don't want to inconvenience my neighbors...
posted by zoogleplex at 10:14 AM on September 1, 2005


fenriq says: ...unless she gives coastally destructive fellatio...

But it missed Florida...
posted by mystyk at 10:32 AM on September 1, 2005


What did God have against the people of Gulfport and Biloxi?

Think of all the Jesus loving Christians who hate guys that got killed or had their lives destroyed.

For an Intelligent Designer who is capable of creating every atom in the Universe, His aim ain't so good.
posted by MonkeyC at 9:13 PM on September 1, 2005


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