Lettuce ladies want to slim (clap) you up!

November 29, 2000 7:44 AM

Lettuce ladies want to slim (clap) you up! I didn't know Elizabeth Berkley was the original lettuce lady. Heck, I didn't even know they existed at all. I noticed the site has some false advertising, though -- on the front page, it says "wearing nothing but strategically placed lettuce leaves..." but how in the world would those tops stay on with straps of lettuce? I guess "wearing nothing but lettuce and green colored underwear" doesn't have the same ring to it.
posted by jragon (11 comments total)

Are they real lettuce leaves? They don't look like it. In the "Meet the Lettuce Ladies" section, they look like photoshoped tops.

Also, "Turn-ons: Seinfeld reruns, hip-hop, raves, hot sauce, Mexican food, her mom's Indian food, backpacking, the beach, dancing, rats, chickens, raspberry soy lattes, the Cartoon Network, shoes with really big soles, wine, talk shows, garlic, and olive oil. " (emphasis added)

Oh, and why aren't the Broccoli Boys wearing speedos of broccoli?
posted by cCranium at 8:16 AM on November 29, 2000

Adopt a Lettuce Lady

Do I get to take her home? I'd take pre-Showgirls Elizabeth Berkley.
posted by pnevares at 9:08 AM on November 29, 2000

Wow, I sure loved meeting the Lettuce Ladies! It's just like reading Playboy, except that they're clothed, not especially attractive, self-righteous, and eminently dumb-quotable! (" . . . men who still see their masculinity reflected in a plate of barbequed ribs." What a fool I am. And here I just thought ribs tasted good.)
posted by Skot at 9:28 AM on November 29, 2000

It makes me want to become exclusively carnivorous. Mmmm ... dolphin.
posted by highindustrial at 9:49 AM on November 29, 2000

I'm all for that. Who else wants a Double-Double with the works for lunch today? Do I hear two Double-Doubles?
posted by RakDaddy at 9:54 AM on November 29, 2000

rakdaddy: if only we had In n Out here in Phoenix. :)

although i hear they just built one in scottsdale...
posted by pnevares at 9:57 AM on November 29, 2000

I guess I shouldn't mention the 3 within shouting distance of the office, then, eh?

posted by RakDaddy at 10:43 AM on November 29, 2000

mmm... brocoli boys.
posted by holloway at 3:30 PM on November 29, 2000

Is it called "MEET the lettuce ladies" on purpose? Was that supposed to be ha-ha subtle humor? I'd write them and ask; however, I fear for my life that they would send one of their cukoo foot soldiers over to my apartment to forcefeed me luttuce and bullshit all night.

Are the lettuce ladies just Hooters-rejects?
posted by Hankins at 6:45 PM on November 29, 2000

Jeez, this is almost as tasteless as commando chicks. At least the lettuce ladies don't have to dress up in giant chicken suits.

PETA has no shame. Makes you wonder how many of these scantily-clad promoting branches they have. What about Sauerkraut Sluts? Or Potato Prostitutes/Pimps?
posted by jia at 9:31 PM on November 29, 2000

I quite like the spooky halloween lettuce at the bottom of the home page. Lettuce ! With wings! Grrrrreat.
posted by Caffa at 1:42 AM on November 30, 2000