House With Bride

November 10, 2005 10:52 PM

Live in Denver? Single? Between 40 & 60? Male? Spiritual? Have enough money to buy a 600,000 dollar house? Then you might be in luck, provided you like blondes.
posted by jonson (41 comments total)

Desperate would be "taking any and all bids". This is just marrying for money.
posted by Rothko at 11:03 PM on November 10, 2005

I'm not clear; which one is marrying for money? Not the woman, surely, she must already have money... but not the guy, either, right, because isn't he purchasing a six hundred thousand dollar house ostensibly on his own income/credit? This seems more like "crazy scheme to attract attention that will hopefully filter into viable husband material" to me. I wonder how often these crazy schemes translate into successful relationships, even short term successful relationships.
posted by jonson at 11:11 PM on November 10, 2005

Well I live in Denver. I'm single and even male! But I'm not spiritual. Or 40-60. And I definately don't have 600,000 to buy a house.

Desperate doesn't begin to describe the situation...
posted by 6550 at 11:12 PM on November 10, 2005

You might be wondering why I have my listing at $600,000.00 plus myself for bid as “priceless”.

What a coincidence. I too am ‘priceless.’ Also between 40 and 60, quite male, and (it goes without saying) spiritual. Maybe I'll ask my wife for permission to go West and check this out.
posted by LeLiLo at 11:12 PM on November 10, 2005

Since I am the daughter of a minister, spirituality is also important to me.

spirituality with an aroma of old timey slave auction.
posted by thanatogenous at 11:20 PM on November 10, 2005

I think she's so desperate because she waited far too late to get married. The type of guy she wants is no longer attracted to her. They type of guy she can get doesn't have the money or success that she wants.
posted by 6550 at 11:23 PM on November 10, 2005

Of course I went straight to the photo gallery. Look at the knobs on this beaut!
posted by planetkyoto at 11:34 PM on November 10, 2005

This is exactly the kind of good christian marriage that the gays are threatening!
posted by papakwanz at 11:34 PM on November 10, 2005

50 is unusually late to be refining the husband search. But then again, maybe she wasted 15 years on some jerk who seemed like the right guy but was fundamentally opposed to marriage?
posted by jonson at 11:43 PM on November 10, 2005

Maybe it's the cynic in me, but the contact form kinda of puts me off. Sure, I can see an expiditious reason for it but I smell data collection and targetted advertising.

Even if it is legit, screening would be a right bitch.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 11:52 PM on November 10, 2005

This is one sexy bathroom.
posted by maryh at 11:55 PM on November 10, 2005

OK, I smell scam. There's a Deborah Hale who happens to be a romance novel writer. No biggie, maybe she shares a name with someone famous and is overshadowed in google.

However, Eileen Kock & Company returns this.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 11:57 PM on November 10, 2005

"While he was a little concerned how his daughter was going to handle the screening process, he was relieved to learn she had hired a Los Angeles public relations firm to help screen potential Mr. Rights."

Linky
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 12:25 AM on November 11, 2005

Hmm. Usually a dowry goes the other way, from the (family of the) bride, not to the bride.

If she really wants to get married, she should at least offer to split the cost of the house. $300,000 each, that sounds more fair.
posted by zanni at 12:32 AM on November 11, 2005

Thanks Heywood, perhaps this is legit.

The pisspoor quality and the ... questionable-ility of EK&C's other clients doesn't quite fit with how the copy presents her (as successful and intelligent). <shrug> perhaps she was duped sold a service she didn't entirely grasp (that whole intarwebs thing).
posted by PurplePorpoise at 12:44 AM on November 11, 2005

Hale tried online dating, but it was too time-consuming: "I just didn't have enough time to devote to it."

Come back when it's a bigger priority for you.
posted by grouse at 12:47 AM on November 11, 2005

Then again, perhaps she chose her pseudonym based on her favourit author...

Well, buyer beware.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 1:01 AM on November 11, 2005

jonson writes "50 is unusually late to be refining the husband search. But then again, maybe she wasted 15 years on some jerk who seemed like the right guy but was fundamentally opposed to marriage?"

Hmmm... I take umbrage with that comment - why are guys who are "fundamentally opposed to marriage" automatically jerks? In fact, why is marriage seen as the ultimate immutable goal for every relationship? I've been with my partner for six years and neither of us have any interest in getting married. I told her my stance from the very beginning, so she wouldn't feel led on, but as it happened she felt the same way. Neither of feel our relationship need to be "taken up a level", nor that we "need to show more commitment to one another" by getting married.

I we parted in nine years time, I'd hate for people to label me as a "jerk" just because we never married and I'd hate to feel that my partner was suddenly disadvantaged because she had enjoyed 15 unmarried years with me...
posted by benzo8 at 1:02 AM on November 11, 2005

Then again, perhaps she chose her pseudonym based on her favourit author...

Well, buyer beware.

Deborah Hale, author
posted by quarsan at 1:07 AM on November 11, 2005

a) I'm not in Denver
b) I'm not 40-60 years old
c) I can't afford $600,000
d) That's an ugly house
e) I've never seen the attraction with blondes
f) She has a lavender website

There is no goddam way I'm marrying someone with a lavender website.
posted by NinjaPirate at 1:22 AM on November 11, 2005

If she's priceless surely she's just a loss leader on the house?
posted by vbfg at 1:38 AM on November 11, 2005

Things to do in Denver when You're Desperate.
posted by psmealey at 2:48 AM on November 11, 2005

Priceless? Clueless more like.
posted by Joeforking at 2:52 AM on November 11, 2005

Oh, give her a break. If it works for her, who cares?

OTOH, if we get Reality TV out of this, I reserve my right to take creatively-expressed umbrage...
posted by lodurr at 5:35 AM on November 11, 2005

I live in the Denver area. I'm between 40 and 60. I'm not a successful businessman who can afford a 600,000 house. (Us blue collar types aren't popular with these types of women). I wish her luck.
posted by Eekacat at 6:32 AM on November 11, 2005

I don't get this at all. You pay her $600k and you have to marry her? So you're basicaly giving her $300k as a gift. WTF? And she's in her 40!? You can get a russian bride for plane fair.


Now, if she was only charging half price for the house they would own together, that would make a lot more sense.
posted by delmoi at 6:33 AM on November 11, 2005

I don't like the undertone of this conversation. Relationships are unique and personal; and if she feels this approach is worth a shot, I don't see the harm. She certainly isn't the first to try it. We've seen websites and billboards used by men and women, and it always attracts ridicule...but I wonder how many of the people laughing have used Match? 'Cause it wasn't so long ago, engaging in any sort of internet dating put you right alongside Dungeons & Dragons and Trekkies.

Having said that:

The deadline for submission/bids is February 14, 2006.

Maybe that's the expiration of her contract with the public relations firm...but jeez, that's a weird thing to see on a site like this.
posted by cribcage at 6:35 AM on November 11, 2005

Someone needs to insert the standard boilerplate about this being a lousy FPP...
posted by drstrangelove at 6:40 AM on November 11, 2005

This has to be classifiable as solicitation (offering wifely services for money) regardless of the fact that she wants a Christian man.

How about 30 days in the county jail as a way to meet prospective husbands?
posted by notmtwain at 6:42 AM on November 11, 2005

To paraphrase a famous quotation, she's already established what she is, now it's just a matter of haggling.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:02 AM on November 11, 2005

It doesn't specify that the buyer has to marry her. It might not be such a bad investment. I have a few friends who really need a woman to settle them down. The problem is the location. Isn't Denver in like Colorado? If this were Manhattan it'd be quite a deal.
posted by nixerman at 7:33 AM on November 11, 2005

Not to be snarky, but I doubt those photos of her are recent. If they are she's had so much plastic surgery that it figures she really can't afford to keep her house by herself. (The National Debt would about cover what it'd take to make ME look 29 again.) And oh brother, I just clicked on that ABQ Journal link to see her wearing more makeup than Michael Jackson and his sisters: I would not spend a week "romancing" anybody till I knew what she REALLY looked like in the morning with no makeup. (Of course my own "SO" clearly digs me for my sparkling wit and charming personality, but then I wasn't any less hideous when I was 29.)

I agree with delmoi: why pay $600K for one 50 year old of Norweigian extraction when for that price you could extract a Russian, a Moldavan, a Tamil and a Filipina, and (around Louisville anyway) a 4 bedroom house to keep them all in? And why is Hale going on about being "100 percent Norweigian" anyway unless we're supposed to be impressed by her Aryan Identity? ("Suitor must be able to keep right arm extended for at least three hours.")

And about her father, from ABQJ: "Her father, Russell Lee, former pastor of Faith Lutheran here in Albuquerque for 33 years ... is on the part-time staff of St. Stephen's United Methodist Church."

I thought there were fundamental theological differences between Methodism (or Wesleyanism in general) and Lutheranism, not just matters of church organization, that would preclude an easy side-shift from one into the other. If there are and he doesn't know or care after 33 years as a Lutheran pastor then that might help explain why his daughter's such a ditz.
posted by davy at 7:36 AM on November 11, 2005

What kind of property can you buy in Manhattan for 600k? One with a nice garden? What's wrong with Colorado? Cribcage, maybe you noticed that February 14th is Valentines day??
posted by Eekacat at 7:40 AM on November 11, 2005

This was on MoFi a few days ago. .

I do not see anything wrong with it. . it if is not your cup of tea, move along.

I wish her well. . .I would like to see some sort of followup. . .If I were middle aged and single and had that kind of money (well one out of three, oh well) there would not be a dearth of female suitors. . .

One thing, though. .the guy will have to be very tidy, I would suppose. I mean, to leave a ring in that bathtub. . .*smile*. . .you'd be sleeping on the pool table.
posted by Danf at 8:41 AM on November 11, 2005

Cribcage, maybe you noticed that February 14th is Valentines day??
posted by Eekacat

I think it was the submission/bids thing that creeped cribcage out, Eek.
posted by Floydd at 8:53 AM on November 11, 2005

benzo8, you are right, I spoke too harshly. Apologies.
posted by jonson at 8:56 AM on November 11, 2005

Hmm. Usually a dowry goes the other way, from the (family of the) bride, not to the bride.
posted by zanni at 3:32 AM EST

In the case of a dowry it is usual for the bride's family to give the groom some money for taking her off their hands (the expenses of feeding and clothing her.) It sometimes happens happens that the groom has money and the bride's family does not so the dowry can be paid by the groom if he is desperate enough.

In some cases the dowry is money completely given to the groom's use, but sometimes it is money or goods (as in "hope chest") set aside for the bride's personal use. She may need the dowry to pay for clothes. She may need it if she becomes a widow.

In the case of a bridal price the groom pays the money (or equivalent such as cows) to the bride's family as a thank you for raising a wife for him.

I thought there were fundamental theological differences between Methodism (or Wesleyanism in general) and Lutheranism, not just matters of church organization, that would preclude an easy side-shift from one into the other.

The differences are not as much as you would think. When I was a member of a Methodist church, a Lutheran couple joined our church because it was smaller and they felt their volunteer work would be more appreciated. Later, when she became a widow, the formerly-Lutheran lady married our Methodist pastor.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:58 AM on November 11, 2005

[derail] I seem to recall that Luther himself preferred not to get hung up on the denominational differences.[/derail]
posted by lodurr at 9:42 AM on November 11, 2005

Suggestion for Deborah: Add a picture of the wide-screen TV to the photo gallery
Suggestion for Would-Be Suitors: Check attic for scary-ass portrait, and guard it with your life
posted by rob511 at 5:44 PM on November 11, 2005

What was the site with that crazy lady who had a whole litany of things a male had to be before she'd even consider him (gifts, etc.)?
posted by geoff. at 7:47 PM on November 11, 2005

No
posted by Mr T at 12:14 AM on November 14, 2005