South Wales man in terror shock exclusive - pictures
December 11, 2005 10:38 AM Subscribe
Cardiff Terrifies Me. Daily news-stand headlines from that bastion of quality journalism, the South Wales Echo.
I wonder what they mean by illegal bikers. Some sort of Welsh critical mass? Hell's Angels who haven't properly registered their hogs?
posted by donpedro at 11:01 AM on December 11, 2005
posted by donpedro at 11:01 AM on December 11, 2005
how come people always knock Cardiff? they even did it on Doctor Who. what's so bad about it?
posted by amberglow at 11:03 AM on December 11, 2005
posted by amberglow at 11:03 AM on December 11, 2005
Tabloid booth headline sheets are like thought bubbles for paranoid schizos.
posted by srboisvert at 11:18 AM on December 11, 2005
posted by srboisvert at 11:18 AM on December 11, 2005
Cardiff terrifies me sounds like the name of one of those new members who flooded in back when Matt lowered the standar... opened up MeFi admission to all those lurkers who had been locked out.
posted by LeLiLo at 11:21 AM on December 11, 2005
posted by LeLiLo at 11:21 AM on December 11, 2005
Well, sounds like people are never bored in Cardiff.
I want to know more about the evil swan killers.
posted by funambulist at 11:22 AM on December 11, 2005
I want to know more about the evil swan killers.
posted by funambulist at 11:22 AM on December 11, 2005
This is good! (I used to live in Cardiff). What doesn’t come across, alas, are the newsvendors’ periodic shouts of E-CHO! I wonder if any of those have been preserved on-line...
posted by misteraitch at 11:30 AM on December 11, 2005
posted by misteraitch at 11:30 AM on December 11, 2005
I want to know more about the evil swan killers
The police are probably after them in order to give them a reward - one thing Cardiff definitely needs less of is evil swans.
misteraitch, I've never heard any of the vendors ever shouting E-CHO - it's always some weird mouthful-of-toffee NNGGFF-UGH, or HAH-HAW, or even AARGH-FBBP.
posted by nylon at 11:37 AM on December 11, 2005
The police are probably after them in order to give them a reward - one thing Cardiff definitely needs less of is evil swans.
misteraitch, I've never heard any of the vendors ever shouting E-CHO - it's always some weird mouthful-of-toffee NNGGFF-UGH, or HAH-HAW, or even AARGH-FBBP.
posted by nylon at 11:37 AM on December 11, 2005
See also Darren LinkMachineGo's Evening Standard Headline Crisis.
posted by feelinglistless at 12:14 PM on December 11, 2005
posted by feelinglistless at 12:14 PM on December 11, 2005
Unfortunately I can't find an image of it on the internets but I do remember a news vendor stand for the Scottish Daily Record bearing the words GLASGOW FATHER 'TOO FAT' TO BE CREMATED.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 2:08 PM on December 11, 2005
posted by ClanvidHorse at 2:08 PM on December 11, 2005
I'm having wild guesses at what the the cutlery row is all about - thanks for posting this nylon!
posted by ceri richard at 2:35 PM on December 11, 2005
posted by ceri richard at 2:35 PM on December 11, 2005
I can't imagine why people stay in Cardiff, with both a sex monster and an impaling horror stalking the streets. Not to mention the evil swans.
posted by terpsichoria at 3:37 PM on December 11, 2005
posted by terpsichoria at 3:37 PM on December 11, 2005
Funnily enough, I'm always more cheerful when I haven't read the mainstream news for a couple of days...
posted by cleardawn at 5:59 PM on December 11, 2005
posted by cleardawn at 5:59 PM on December 11, 2005
It's true, though. If you check the BBC website every day, the local news headlines are usually along the lines of:
"England: (politics, business, crime, celeb);
Scotland: (business, poverty, sport);
Northern Ireland: (politics, religion, crime, human interest);
Wales: ADDICT TEEN KILLS PENSIONER WITH OWN FALSE LEG, LEAVES HEADLESS CORPSE IN GUTTER"
posted by Hogshead at 5:59 PM on December 11, 2005
"England: (politics, business, crime, celeb);
Scotland: (business, poverty, sport);
Northern Ireland: (politics, religion, crime, human interest);
Wales: ADDICT TEEN KILLS PENSIONER WITH OWN FALSE LEG, LEAVES HEADLESS CORPSE IN GUTTER"
posted by Hogshead at 5:59 PM on December 11, 2005
nylon—yes, even though it’s spelled E-CHO! it’s pronounced any number of ways, according to each vendor’s interpretative abilities… I have heard it shouted as an almost recognisable ER-GEH! or similar, but other times it’s reduced a monosyllabic bark. It would be cool if someone could record this distinctive variety for posterity (if that hasn’t been done already).
posted by misteraitch at 12:26 AM on December 12, 2005
posted by misteraitch at 12:26 AM on December 12, 2005
they are indeed hilarious. and comparing Cardiff to Slough is plain silly. it's one of the best cities in the UK.
a lot of the "knocking" is kind of self referencing. e.g. Doctor Who, most of it was shot in Cardiff, with a cardiff writter and crew etc. thanks for drawing attention to this site tho, so my daily chuckles on reading the headlines can be recorded.
posted by toffee at 12:58 AM on December 12, 2005
a lot of the "knocking" is kind of self referencing. e.g. Doctor Who, most of it was shot in Cardiff, with a cardiff writter and crew etc. thanks for drawing attention to this site tho, so my daily chuckles on reading the headlines can be recorded.
posted by toffee at 12:58 AM on December 12, 2005
All the more amazing for the fact that only 10% of Welsh people can actually read. The rest just forrage in the open countryside, chewing the raw meat off the bones they find.
posted by ciderwoman at 4:40 AM on December 12, 2005
posted by ciderwoman at 4:40 AM on December 12, 2005
how come people always knock Cardiff? they even did it on Doctor Who. what's so bad about it?
posted by amberglow at 11:03 AM PST on December 11 [!]
Yes, Doctor Who wasn't knocking Cardiff, it was giving the city cool shout-outs. It's a BBC Wales production.
I once saw a "C.O.P.S." style show set in Cardiff. It was more violent than the Canadian version (esp as they filmed the pubs closing up), but the cops were much more polite than the American version. All the violence was on the side of the people getting out of pubs (as caught on CCTV).
posted by jb at 5:08 AM on December 12, 2005
posted by amberglow at 11:03 AM PST on December 11 [!]
Yes, Doctor Who wasn't knocking Cardiff, it was giving the city cool shout-outs. It's a BBC Wales production.
I once saw a "C.O.P.S." style show set in Cardiff. It was more violent than the Canadian version (esp as they filmed the pubs closing up), but the cops were much more polite than the American version. All the violence was on the side of the people getting out of pubs (as caught on CCTV).
posted by jb at 5:08 AM on December 12, 2005
ciderwoman—I had someone read your comment to me while I sucked the marrow from a discarded rib, & it brought a poignant tear to my eye (as did the 2nd r in forage). You could perhaps have spared a thought for those cursèd half-breeds such as myself who are not only half-Welsh, but, what is yet worse, half-English, & thus doubly cursed by our unnatural parentage, etc.
posted by misteraitch at 5:41 AM on December 12, 2005
posted by misteraitch at 5:41 AM on December 12, 2005
Misteraitch, it is thanks to my Welsh mother and swedish father that I am able to understand the true feral horror that is Wales. This was written from the inside trying to claw my six toes way out, not the other way round.
posted by ciderwoman at 8:03 AM on December 12, 2005
posted by ciderwoman at 8:03 AM on December 12, 2005
Doctor Who 2005 was not necessarily praising Cardiff - c.f. The Unquiet Dead.
"It's not 1860 - it's 1869"
"I don't care!"
"It's not Naples - it's Cardiff."
"Oh."
"I'm about to face death. In Cardiff."
I've lived in Cardiff for four years. Honestly, I don't see why everyone likes the place. Then again, I used to live in London and I've never lived in godforsaken places like Slough or Milton Keynes.
posted by badlydubbedboy at 9:27 AM on December 12, 2005
"It's not 1860 - it's 1869"
"I don't care!"
"It's not Naples - it's Cardiff."
"Oh."
"I'm about to face death. In Cardiff."
I've lived in Cardiff for four years. Honestly, I don't see why everyone likes the place. Then again, I used to live in London and I've never lived in godforsaken places like Slough or Milton Keynes.
posted by badlydubbedboy at 9:27 AM on December 12, 2005
Oh, toffee says Doctor Who comes from a Cardiff writer. Well, Russell T. Davies is actually from Swansea...
posted by badlydubbedboy at 9:29 AM on December 12, 2005
posted by badlydubbedboy at 9:29 AM on December 12, 2005
bdb - that's just gentle ribbing. If I were writing about a character from New York or LA arriving in Toronto, I might write the same thing (and I love my hometown).
posted by jb at 9:45 AM on December 12, 2005
posted by jb at 9:45 AM on December 12, 2005
bdb: sorry. you are right about RTD - and it appears he lives in Manchester. but it was a "cardiff production" in many ways, which was the point i was making.
and of course as jb points out, thats a fun in-joke, not a slight. maybe you should mix with the locals more to get a sense of humour.
posted by toffee at 12:29 PM on December 12, 2005
and of course as jb points out, thats a fun in-joke, not a slight. maybe you should mix with the locals more to get a sense of humour.
posted by toffee at 12:29 PM on December 12, 2005
I'm gonna have to get there soon, and see.
(sucking marrow by the side of the road? i'm used to part of that sentence, anyway)
posted by amberglow at 8:04 PM on December 12, 2005
(sucking marrow by the side of the road? i'm used to part of that sentence, anyway)
posted by amberglow at 8:04 PM on December 12, 2005
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posted by brundlefly at 10:59 AM on December 11, 2005