Tough on Terror, Tough on Stains
February 16, 2006 11:02 PM Subscribe
Writer Merrill Markoe proposes a novel solution to the issue of having our elected officials turn out to be little more than political figureheads for corporate special interests; why not allow the corporations to run for office directly?
US Steel needs my money. Where can I pledge?
posted by sourwookie at 11:23 PM on February 16, 2006
posted by sourwookie at 11:23 PM on February 16, 2006
Ms. Markoe has lost none of the wit and wisdom that led her to leave David Letterman all those years ago.
posted by Cranberry at 11:27 PM on February 16, 2006
posted by Cranberry at 11:27 PM on February 16, 2006
And every year we could lease the name of the country to the highest bidder so even if IBM lost the election, given the right price, we could be the IBM States of America for a year. Same with all the notable offices and national landmarks. The Washington Monument brought to you by McDonald's. Speaking from the Red Bull Oval Office, president Coca-Cola addressed the nation's vending machine deficit.
posted by effwerd at 11:33 PM on February 16, 2006
posted by effwerd at 11:33 PM on February 16, 2006
I'm happy to say that Ms. Markoe's bit of clever non-statement brings us all a little bit closer to the heat death of the universe. As did this one.
posted by agent at 11:33 PM on February 16, 2006
posted by agent at 11:33 PM on February 16, 2006
Instead of running for office corporations should instead claim a right to be represented via population or petition for statehood as if they were territories.
So how many representatives should the great state of Microsoft receive? Perhaps a compromise where each employee counts as 3/5ths of a person?
posted by dustsquid at 11:34 PM on February 16, 2006
So how many representatives should the great state of Microsoft receive? Perhaps a compromise where each employee counts as 3/5ths of a person?
posted by dustsquid at 11:34 PM on February 16, 2006
Sure, but when the former citizens of Microsoft win their freedom and move to Linux, will they be granted 40 GB & a Mule?
posted by jonson at 11:41 PM on February 16, 2006
posted by jonson at 11:41 PM on February 16, 2006
I'm utterly astonished that no one's mentioned Subsidized Time, a la Infinite Jest, yet, especially after effwerd's comment.
posted by teferi at 12:24 AM on February 17, 2006
posted by teferi at 12:24 AM on February 17, 2006
From Markoe's bio: In the past year, Ms. Markoe has purchased fifteen monkey paintings.
She's obviously in thrall to the primate-creationist lobby.
posted by rob511 at 12:28 AM on February 17, 2006
She's obviously in thrall to the primate-creationist lobby.
posted by rob511 at 12:28 AM on February 17, 2006
Meh. You guys are already ruled by Halliburton anyway.
posted by clevershark at 5:32 AM on February 17, 2006
posted by clevershark at 5:32 AM on February 17, 2006
I can actually see this working.
(and clevershark, that's her point)
posted by fungible at 5:53 AM on February 17, 2006
(and clevershark, that's her point)
posted by fungible at 5:53 AM on February 17, 2006
having our elected officials turn out to be little more than political figureheads for corporate special interests
At the very least, politicians should have to wear decals on their clothing like race car drivers or bike racers, so we can easily see who’s paid for them.
posted by LeLiLo at 6:19 AM on February 17, 2006
At the very least, politicians should have to wear decals on their clothing like race car drivers or bike racers, so we can easily see who’s paid for them.
posted by LeLiLo at 6:19 AM on February 17, 2006
True, but one might argue that with this administration it's already such an open phenomenon that there's little to gain (or lose) by formalizing the arrangement. Cheney's still getting paid by Halliburton, fer chrissakes.
posted by clevershark at 6:35 AM on February 17, 2006
posted by clevershark at 6:35 AM on February 17, 2006
Isnt that the premise of "RollerBall"?
Johnathan! Jonathan! Johnathan!
posted by Gungho at 7:08 AM on February 17, 2006
Johnathan! Jonathan! Johnathan!
posted by Gungho at 7:08 AM on February 17, 2006
politicians should have to wear decals on their clothing like race car drivers or bike racers, so we can easily see who’s paid for them.
I think that's the best idea I've ever heard.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:33 AM on February 17, 2006
I think that's the best idea I've ever heard.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:33 AM on February 17, 2006
clevershark - she mentions that very fact in the article, calling this the Penzoil/Haliburton ticket.
posted by jonson at 7:33 AM on February 17, 2006
posted by jonson at 7:33 AM on February 17, 2006
Oooo I was so excited to Merril is blogging! Big, big fan girl here.
And I have to say the decal idea is fabulous. They can take the trips, accept the presents, bank the cash bribes, but each penny taken means they are forced to wear ascarlet letter corporate decal. Would there be jockying to see who could become most encrusted?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:27 AM on February 17, 2006
And I have to say the decal idea is fabulous. They can take the trips, accept the presents, bank the cash bribes, but each penny taken means they are forced to wear a
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:27 AM on February 17, 2006
Decals. Yes. Actually, thanks to video overlay technology, the news programs could do the decal thing for us. Or better yet, show a swirling halo of corporate logos around the politicans' heads, and the appropriate logo would bounce or glow whenever a politician said something on behalf of that sponsor donor.
Jon Stewart, are you listening?
The next step would be to run a program on some Tivo of the future that tied into opensecrets.org and did this for you, regardless of what was being broadcast.
posted by adamrice at 8:45 AM on February 17, 2006
Jon Stewart, are you listening?
The next step would be to run a program on some Tivo of the future that tied into opensecrets.org and did this for you, regardless of what was being broadcast.
posted by adamrice at 8:45 AM on February 17, 2006
Is this where somebody posts an inline image of Joe Lieberman with mouse ears?
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:11 AM on February 17, 2006
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:11 AM on February 17, 2006
Oddly, I was just reading Oswald Mosley's 1936 position paper, and he proposed this, replacing geographic representation with a "council of corporations".
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 10:17 AM on February 17, 2006
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 10:17 AM on February 17, 2006
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Those poor, victimized corporations.
Donate now!
posted by brundlefly at 11:18 PM on February 16, 2006