Don't disrespect Scientology

March 14, 2006 8:07 AM

Isaac Hayes Quits 'South Park'Forgive the link to Fox News, however it is an AP story.
posted by Tablecrumbs (102 comments total)

I'm trying to quit smoking cigarettes... again.
posted by Witty at 8:11 AM on March 14, 2006

I was sorta wondering when this was going to happen ...
posted by krinklyfig at 8:12 AM on March 14, 2006

I liked Matt and Trey's responses.
posted by obeygiant at 8:14 AM on March 14, 2006

co-creator Matt Stone responded sharply in an interview with The Associated Press Monday, saying, "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology... He has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks — with our show making fun of Christians."

and that sums it up very nicely.

supposedly Comedy Central was pressured into never showing this episode again too. I guess the South Park guys still have the ability to cause controversy from time to time.
posted by inthe80s at 8:14 AM on March 14, 2006

"I'm trying to quit smoking cigarettes... again."

What are you smoking instead?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:15 AM on March 14, 2006

"South Park" co-creator Matt Stone responded sharply in an interview with The Associated Press Monday, saying, "This is 100 percent having to do with his faith of Scientology... He has no problem — and he's cashed plenty of checks — with our show making fun of Christians."

You know, I personally don't think that Hayes really wanted to do this, the "church" probably threatened him with 'excommunication' if he didn't quit the show and shun Matt and Tray.

That's the sort of thing they do.
posted by delmoi at 8:15 AM on March 14, 2006

I had noticed Chef's absence for a few weeks prior to and after the scientology episode, and figured Matt and Trey had finally pissed him off enough. Their point on Hayes wanting special treatment for his own religion after cashing many a check on the backs of the others they've mocked is absolutely valid, and makes Hayes look petty and two-faced.

Gnite, Chef.
posted by davelog at 8:15 AM on March 14, 2006

What are you smoking instead?

Life with a capital L, man. Life.
posted by Witty at 8:18 AM on March 14, 2006

Sort of disappointing news for what is still, to me, the smartest and funniest show on televsion. But I think it'll be an absence that will be overcome. And Matt and Trey kick ass for going right after his hypocrisy.
posted by psmealey at 8:22 AM on March 14, 2006

... 'excommunication' ...

I don't think they use that term, and anyway, if that wree all there were to it, it wouldn't be so bad. More likely they started with blackmail (the "security auditing" process basically entails you confessing, in great detail, every time you've done anything morally or legally questionable), and then moved on to more sinister threats. One of those would be the hint that he might be designated a "suppressive person", which basically means that he's "Fair Game" for any dirty tricks they can think of.

Co$, they play hardball. They can be resisted, and people have been having better luck with it in recent years; but if you're inside the fold, you've already given them all the ammunition they need to hurt you really badly.
posted by lodurr at 8:23 AM on March 14, 2006

The bottom line is that Isaac Hayes is a Scientologist. His cries of religious discrimination are therefore completely invalid.

I honestly thought he was smarter than that. A Scientologist, Isaac? What the fuck?
posted by wakko at 8:24 AM on March 14, 2006

Well, you know how it is, he's probably got a pretty full schedule what with all of the chart-topping music he's been producing lately. Not to mention the hit films he's been appearing in.

What? Chef was his first paying gig since 1971? Shut yo mouth! Hey Issac, when you get to Obscurity, be sure to say "Hi" to David Caruso and Shelley Long for me.
posted by Optamystic at 8:24 AM on March 14, 2006

inthe80s writes "I guess the South Park guys still have the ability to cause controversy from time to time."

Like George Carlin said, it's not hard to piss people off who take themselves too seriously. These guys made taking yourself too seriously into a religion.
posted by krinklyfig at 8:26 AM on March 14, 2006

Life with a capital L, man. Life.

Is that what the kids call it these days?
posted by jefgodesky at 8:27 AM on March 14, 2006

What are you smoking instead?

Life with a capital L, man. Life.
posted by Witty

Scrambles to photoshop "Mikey" with Chex-Mix dreads rolling a splif of cereal.
posted by Balisong at 8:28 AM on March 14, 2006

Optamystic, you forgot Ninth Street, a bad, bad movie, to be sure.
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:29 AM on March 14, 2006

David Caruso is on CSI Miami and wears really cool sunglasses and takes them off and puts them back again for no particular reason.
posted by Tablecrumbs at 8:30 AM on March 14, 2006

Oh, he has his reasons.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:34 AM on March 14, 2006

Chef: one of the few witty, sceptical and reality-based adult characters on South Park. The sort of person who would never buy in to something so ridiculous as Scientology.

Funny how actors can diverge so much from their characters.
posted by tommorris at 8:37 AM on March 14, 2006

Not to mention the hit films he's been appearing in.

Hustle and Flow?
posted by Pollomacho at 8:37 AM on March 14, 2006

Is Scientology different for rich/famous people than it is for ordinary shmoes? Just seems like the people I have seen around town shilling for it are about a half-step above the jesus freaks that hang out at the Bus Station. Just curious how such people, the seemed cool otherwise, like Jason Lee and Beck got turned onto this thing. Do they get free drinks and girls at their level?
posted by psmealey at 8:38 AM on March 14, 2006

Is Scientology different for rich/famous people than it is for ordinary shmoes?

Yes.
posted by Pollomacho at 8:43 AM on March 14, 2006

Link.
posted by Pollomacho at 8:45 AM on March 14, 2006

Can't everyone and his little 4th grade sister do a decent Chef imitation now? I mean, I know he's Isaac Hayes and all, but how hard it is to say "Aw, fudge it, chillrun."
posted by DenOfSizer at 8:45 AM on March 14, 2006

Funny how it didn't seem to bother him all that much when he was interviewed by the Onion AV Club back in January:

AVC: They did just do an episode that made fun of your religion, Scientology. Did that bother you?

IH: Well, I talked to Matt and Trey about that. They didn't let me know until it was done. I said, "Guys, you have it all wrong. We're not like that. I know that's your thing, but get your information correct, because somebody might believe that shit, you know?" But I understand what they're doing. I told them to take a couple of Scientology courses, and understand what we do. [Laughs.]

And here's an interesting tidbit. One of the "Scientology Services" Hayes completed was called "Student Hat." Hmmmm?

The Truth is Out There.
posted by Otis at 8:45 AM on March 14, 2006

See Scientology Celebrity Centres. And some dissenting opinions.
posted by tommorris at 8:45 AM on March 14, 2006

Beck's parents were Scientologists, as were Juliet Lewis'
posted by delmoi at 8:46 AM on March 14, 2006

Can't everyone and his little 4th grade sister do a decent Chef imitation now?

Sir, I have tasted his chocolate salty balls, and you sir, do not have his chocolate salty balls.
posted by fungible at 8:50 AM on March 14, 2006

Also,

South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone avoided poking fun at Scientology for years because they didn't want to upset show regular Isaac Hayes.

But, after hearing how comedy illusionist pal Penn Jillette was banned from poking fun at the controversial religion on his cable show Bulls**t, Stone and Parker decided it was time to point their comedy fingers at Scientology and it's most famous convert.
posted by Otis at 8:52 AM on March 14, 2006

All they need to do is to have Chef hit in the balls right before every line, and they can have Wanda Sykes voice it.
posted by krix at 9:01 AM on March 14, 2006

you all realize that the scientologists are going to shut the site down now, right? they are that paranoid.
posted by kendrak at 9:05 AM on March 14, 2006

I had noticed Chef's absence

Why would they have Chef be absent, or go away?

Were I them, I'd just replace Hayes with someone else and turn Chef into a big whimpering pussy. Perhaps I'd even create an episode in which Chef throws a big hissy-fit over, say, some new Lothario nailing his mom. And from then on, all he'll ever do is bitch and moan about how nasty everyone is to him and then run off in a huff.

Quitting over it, fine. But publicly saying that's why you're quitting the show? Man, that's just dumb. That's pulling the pin on your own grenade.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:05 AM on March 14, 2006

How much you want to bet Chef's going to die in an upcoming episode?
posted by clockworkjoe at 9:05 AM on March 14, 2006

He'll never live up to his Black Moses days again, but I've always enjoyed Isaac Hayes. He was a bright point in a lot of shitty movies. I thought the best thing about South Park was that Chef would sing in each episode. Those songs were insanely catchy. There was maybe a year of highschool where I couldn't get "Chocolate Salty Balls" stuck in my head. Still, they haven't been writing songs for him for a few seasons now and the character's pretty much a waste.
posted by elr at 9:07 AM on March 14, 2006

I would imagine they could just find someone else to voice Chief.
posted by delmoi at 9:09 AM on March 14, 2006

I didn't know this about Isaac Hayes. I hope this doesn't ruin my appreciation of old South Park episodes. Sometimes you can know too much.
posted by gurple at 9:09 AM on March 14, 2006

Beck's parents were Scientologists, as were Juliet Lewis'

You remind me to ask again: is there definitive proof anywhere that Neil Gaiman's dad is big in the London Scientology org? There's a David Gaiman there, who people claim is Neil's father, but I've never seen a verified source for it.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:11 AM on March 14, 2006

I would imagine they could just find someone else to voice Chief.

You know who would be awesome? Bootsy Collins would be awesome, that's who.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:13 AM on March 14, 2006

psmealey: "Is Scientology different for rich/famous people than it is for ordinary shmoes?"

Well, one of the ideas behind Scientology seems to be that you can awaken hidden powers and cleanse your spiritual self by taking very expensive courses; doing so, you ascend in the hierarchy and gain access to deeper, secret teachings. So, yeah, depending on how much you're willing to pay you can get more spiritual fulfilment and peace of mind. It is explained very well on the Operation Clambake website:

Further, as one progresses through a series of auditing "levels," one can eventually be restored to native state and can attain the status of "operating thetan," wherein one is free of attachments to the body and, even while "exterior" to (outside) the body, one can consciously control matter, energy, space, time, thought, and life. Hubbard's writings and lectures include many tantalizing details of the god-like abilities that may be gained through auditing.

For most individual Scientologists, recovering these god-like abilities (and encouraging and assisting others to do so as well) is the primary goal of participation in Scientology. The "levels" through which a participant progresses make up what is called "The Bridge to Total Freedom." Progress through all the levels of the "Bridge" often takes many years of dedicated study and practice, and the cost in fees for services for the Bridge is currently estimated at approximately $300,000 - $500,000 in US dollars.

Just skimming through the "What Scientology Won't Tell You - an info pack" section is very informative and can give you insight as to how to interact with members, and why you should stay the hell away from thos organization.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 9:14 AM on March 14, 2006

Forgive the link to Fox News

Only if you appologize for the link to MetaFilter you biased jackass.
posted by HTuttle at 9:18 AM on March 14, 2006

They should get Gilbert Gottfried to do the voice as a slap to Isaac's face.
posted by Shfishp at 9:18 AM on March 14, 2006

He should have just stated that he wanted to spend more quality time with his family. Aren't those the codewords for being publicly humiliated over something?
posted by Balisong at 9:22 AM on March 14, 2006

Only if you appologize for the link to MetaFilter you biased jackass.

?????
posted by Tablecrumbs at 9:23 AM on March 14, 2006

>Just curious how such people, the seemed cool otherwise, like Jason Lee and Beck got turned onto this thing.

Err, its a religion. Last I checked religion appealed to people for a variety of reasons. No big conspiracy here. The assumption that the reasons must be different from those of Christians or Muslims or whomever is silly.
posted by skallas at 9:31 AM on March 14, 2006

I was going to post this this morning but didn't want to Fark up the place.

Having been done, though, more Matt and Trey from the CBC article on the same:

"In 10 years and over 150 episodes of South Park, Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslims, Mormons or Jews," Stone said in a statement issued late Monday by the Comedy Central TV network.

"He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show," Stone said, adding however that "of course we will release Isaac from his contract, and we wish him well."
posted by dreamsign at 9:43 AM on March 14, 2006

And of course it's a religion. Last time I researched this, the only Western nation that had substantive qualifications on this was Australia, and their use of "belief in a deity" excludes many mainstream religions such as Buddhism.

Face it. You believe in little green men, you're crazy. You believe in little green men creating the universe, you're religious. There is no line.
posted by dreamsign at 9:45 AM on March 14, 2006

Gilbert Gottfried? A good suggestion, the total inverse of Hayes' voice. But I'd try and get William H. Macy to do it in his Jerry Lundegaard voice.
posted by Ber at 9:47 AM on March 14, 2006

Oh, man, Tablecrumbs, you'd better hope HTuttle doesn't see those question marks. Dude freaks when he sees those.
posted by MrMoonPie at 9:47 AM on March 14, 2006

Just curious how such people, the seemed cool otherwise, like Jason Lee and Beck got turned onto this thing

My theory about why celebrities become scientologists, which belongs to me and I own it and it is mine, is that at least some celebrities understand that basically, they've won a lottery. There are 100 people just as talented as they are, or more so, who never get the random bits of luck to make it big.

Now, that's got to be a depressing and terrifying thought, that all your success was just a roll of the dice.

But if a nice organization will tell you that, no, it was really you and your inner thetans that did it, and that you deserve it, that might help. It might help even more if you could go through processes that would "scientifically" prove that you really were kick-ass and deserved all that good stuff and didn't have to worry about your luck changing tomorrow. Even more so if these processes felt at least a little bit arduous.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:49 AM on March 14, 2006

Let's hope The Simpsons writers stay in their place, or they could lose Bart. (hmm, or maybe the Simpsons is due for an implosion?)
posted by dgaicun at 9:52 AM on March 14, 2006

[R]eligion appeal[s] to people for a variety of reasons. No big conspiracy here. The assumption that the reasons must be different from those of Christians or Muslims or whomever is silly.

Of course assuming that Scientology and other religions all share the same appeal would also be silly.
posted by washburn at 9:54 AM on March 14, 2006

What's the matter. Chef, got some sand in your vagina?
posted by emelenjr at 9:58 AM on March 14, 2006

dreamsign: Certain government departments and governmental bodies do try and define religion. The Charities Commission here in the UK declined charitable status to the Church of Scientology [PDF, legalese] claiming that it was (a) not a religion and (b) failed the public interest test (basically, that there is no benefit to the public in the spread of the beliefs espoused by the Church of Scientology).
posted by tommorris at 9:59 AM on March 14, 2006

I just hope that Chef's impending death will be as tastefully handled as Mr. Hooper's.
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:02 AM on March 14, 2006

they could lose Bart.

Out of all the institutions the Simpsons have knocked, how many Scientology jokes have there been?

Few, I bet.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:05 AM on March 14, 2006

Travolta and Cruise were absolutely lambased in the episode..along with scientology.

Cruise has been a PR disaster in the last year or two.

How hard is it to see Cruise/travolta putting pressure on Hayes or his agent?
posted by filmgeek at 10:08 AM on March 14, 2006

The thing that differentiates Scientology from more mainstream religions is the economic motivation behind it. Scientology is a payment based service. You pay X dollars and get Y amount of auditing or whatever. That's not true of any other religion. Sure many Protestants tithe but if you didn't tithe you wouldn't be allowed to go to church less often or have less access to the clergy.

The Pope may live a fairly posh lifestyle but I don't think anyone becomes Pope for the perks. The high level Scientologists make fortunes off of the CoS. That's how it's not a religion, the personal economic gain it's leaders receive.
posted by joegester at 10:09 AM on March 14, 2006

If you can't afford the Scientology, you can always sell yourself into indentured servitude (Sea Org), it's just a billion-year contract.

Because, you see we come back.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:12 AM on March 14, 2006

That's how it's not a religion, the personal economic gain it's leaders receive.

I'm no comparative religion expert, but I'd be surprised if there were a religion, major or minor, whose leaders didn't gain economically from being part of the leadership. Persecuted founders like Jesus & Joseph Smith don't count.

Anyway, it's a pretty convoluted definition of "religion" that stipulates that money can't change hands in certain ways but it can in others.

Face it, Scientology's a religion by most definitions. It's just one that most people think particularly sucks.
posted by gurple at 10:17 AM on March 14, 2006

Bootsy Collins would be awesome, that's who.

Marry me.

Ahem. That is, Bootsy would fucking rock. Or George Clinton, y'all....uncut funk. Da bomb. Don't get me wrong, I love me some vintage Isaac Hayes (Hot Buttered Soul = desert island album), but who says South Park couldn't use some stereophonic funk-producing, disco-inducing, twin magnetic rump receptors.

They're perfect for bumpin', you see.
posted by Vervain at 10:23 AM on March 14, 2006

That's not true of any other religion.

Oh, ever heard of indulgences?
posted by Pollomacho at 10:27 AM on March 14, 2006

I'd be surprised if there were a religion, major or minor, whose leaders didn't gain economically from being part of the leadership.
Ours--we don't have any official leaders of Judaism (in the US at least--i know the UK has some kind of chief rabbi or something), and rabbis really don't make a ton of money at all. There are affiliation organizations above synagogues (Union for Reform Judaism, etc), but they only get a slice of money from each congregation that belongs, and there aren't enough of us to make it a lot of money.

The real money is in property i think--the Catholic Church owns incredibly valuable prime real estate all over the world.
posted by amberglow at 10:35 AM on March 14, 2006

The show.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2006/03/14/watch-the-scientology-epi_n_17269.html

How true is the "this is what they actually believe" bit?
posted by RufusW at 10:39 AM on March 14, 2006

Oh my. If I could have lived my entire life without visiting that ugly-ass website, and now Scientology and Chef have ruined it.

I'm glad they're letting him out of his contract; South Park won't be the same with out him (the Kathie Lee episode is still my favorite); yadda yadda.... but the "foxlife" website looks like a 1997 Geocities knock off. Oww.
posted by dpx.mfx at 10:40 AM on March 14, 2006

Why not take Chef in a whole new direction and give Prince the gig?
posted by maryh at 10:41 AM on March 14, 2006

crab people crab people
taste like crab
talk like people
posted by nervestaple at 10:57 AM on March 14, 2006

How true is the "this is what they actually believe" bit?

The animation is artistic interpretation. The verbal description is dead-on and taken directly from the writings L. Ron Hubbard.
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:24 AM on March 14, 2006

Only if you appologize for the link to MetaFilter you biased jackass.

How ironic is it that this response comes in a thread about Issac Hayes' response to South Park ridiculing Scientology.

HTuttle, you are lame.
posted by JHarris at 11:25 AM on March 14, 2006

Yeh, I had a bit of a "WTF?" moment reading HTuttle's comment. He seems to have forgotten all the times people have gotten called out for one-link NYT, Newsweek and WaPo posts.
posted by lodurr at 11:28 AM on March 14, 2006

Damn you nebulawindphone.
That Mr. Hooper link brought back some very sad childhood memories.
I think I'm going to cry now.
posted by papakwanz at 11:28 AM on March 14, 2006

You beat me to it Vervain. George Clinton would absolutly kick ass! Make my funk the p-funk chillrun!
posted by Yer-Ol-Pal at 11:31 AM on March 14, 2006

they could lose Bart.

Out of all the institutions the Simpsons have knocked, how many Scientology jokes have there been?

Few, I bet.
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:05 PM EST on March 14 [!]

Well, The Joy of Sect had some pretty obvious barbs, but nothing direct.
posted by Otis at 11:36 AM on March 14, 2006

maryh- Prince would only stick around until they made fun of Jehova's Witnesses, and really, how long could they go without that?
posted by RobotHero at 11:41 AM on March 14, 2006

Issac Hayes can dish it out, but he can't take it. What a punk.
posted by Jatayu das at 11:45 AM on March 14, 2006

Forgive the link to Fox News

Only if you appologize for the link to MetaFilter you biased jackass.
posted by HTuttle at 5:18 PM GMT on March 14

Uh, I thought it was meself
posted by dash_slot- at 12:16 PM on March 14, 2006

tablecrumbs owes me a new keyboard.
posted by shmegegge at 12:20 PM on March 14, 2006

Funny how easily long-won respect can evaporate so quickly.
posted by Ynoxas at 12:22 PM on March 14, 2006

"Sort of disappointing news for what is still, to me, the smartest and funniest show on televsion."

Hasn't been either for a long time, if ever.
Boy, that Paris Hilton thing sure was incisive. She's a big ol' slut, isn't she?
posted by klangklangston at 12:31 PM on March 14, 2006

now that you mention it, she does sort of present herself as "loose"...

huh. I'm going to have to think about this.
posted by sonofsamiam at 12:38 PM on March 14, 2006

So he's a dick then?
posted by Smedleyman at 1:42 PM on March 14, 2006

As far as I am concerned, the main reason (not that there are any shortage of others) that Scientology should not be protected like other religions is that it enforces intellectual property rights on its scripture and ritruals. If your organization is truly interested in the welfare of humanity through divine or supernatural revelation, then there is no legitimate reason to jealously guard your scripture and rituals and charge exorbitant sums for it. If your organization is, on the other hand, a scam designed to rob people blind, this policy makes perfect sense.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 2:30 PM on March 14, 2006

Hmm, proofreading prior to posting would have been a good idea.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 2:31 PM on March 14, 2006

Out of all the institutions the Simpsons have knocked, how many Scientology jokes have there been?

Otis beat me to it, but I think there have been more than a few. None so blatantly obvious as South Park, but that's a different schtick.

Boy, that Paris Hilton thing sure was incisive. She's a big ol' slut, isn't she?

Yeah, I'd say that the whole Chef brouhaha was a planned publicity stunt. They need it. He hasn't been on the show in forever, I don't think.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:43 PM on March 14, 2006

"Sort of disappointing news for what is still, to me, the smartest and funniest show on television."

Hasn't been either for a long time, if ever.
Boy, that Paris Hilton thing sure was incisive. She's a big ol' slut, isn't she?
posted by klangklangston


yeah i'm with klang on that. i enjoyed the show for a while , but lately , and i mean for the last 5 years, it seems to be on again, of again. i think there for a whole season they lost me completely. i'm guessing all the drugs and hookers may have gotten in the way of creativity for a time. meh.
posted by nola at 3:15 PM on March 14, 2006

off* again. meh.
posted by nola at 3:16 PM on March 14, 2006

also , reading Pollomacho's link (which mentioned faust) reminded me of Jan Svankmajer's faust. has anyone else seen and enjoyed this strange film. my mind works in weird ways.
thanks to Pollomacho's link on scientology, i remembered this film and have since added it to my netflix queue.
posted by nola at 3:23 PM on March 14, 2006

here is a better link.

sorry i'll "get my own blog" real soon i promise.
posted by nola at 3:27 PM on March 14, 2006

has anyone else seen and enjoyed this strange film.

It's my second favorite Svankmajer film, after the short "A Quiet Week in the House". Alice, conspirators of Pleasure, and just about all of his short films are quite good and strange too.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 4:16 PM on March 14, 2006

i'm with you, pst. faust is one of my all-time favs. alice is also priceless.
posted by moonbird at 4:42 PM on March 14, 2006

Gilbert Gottfried already has a cartoon voiceover gig, and its on PBS! He plays "Digit" on Cyberchase. (Yes, its a kids show ... get your mind out of the gutter, son)
posted by R. Mutt at 5:24 PM on March 14, 2006

Probably made that episode specifically to get him to walk. The chef schtick was tired & they needed some pub.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 5:43 PM on March 14, 2006

You mean people get more offended when you make fun of their religion than other peoples' religions? Thank you, Mr. Stone, I never would've realized that without your help. In other news, people hypocritical bastards care more when their house burns down than when other peoples' houses burn down.

I actually downloaded the Scientology episode after it got menitioned on Metafilter, and, other than the 'This is what scientologists actually believe' section (which was hilarious), it was pretty uniformly stupid and unfunny. Which says to me that L. Ron Hubbard could write better comedy by accident than Stone & Parker can on purpose nowadays. That can't be a good sign.
posted by boaz at 6:06 PM on March 14, 2006

Apologizing for a FoxNews link is stupid (better to apologize for posting nothing but a link to a five-paragraph AP story).

For some reason, the FoxNews version cuts off before a slightly sharper quote from Stone and a creepy bit from Hayes, which show up at the end of the story elsewhere:

Stone told The AP he and co-creator Trey Parker "never heard a peep out of Isaac in any way until we did Scientology. He wants a different standard for religions other than his own, and to me, that is where intolerance and bigotry begin."

Isaac Hayes on Scientology

Scientology is the gateway to eternity. It is the path to happiness and total spiritual freedom. Until one has experienced the technology of Scientology it's unlikely that one will ever experience these wonderful discoveries. I know because it has worked for me. The more time and effort I invest, the more I receive. I highly recommend it.

Yeah, whatever. This article says Isaac became active in CO$ in 1995, which is a huge relief. I'd have hated knowing he'd been brainwashed at the time of Truck Turner, the best, most fun blaxploitation film, period. Lt. Uhura as a foul-mouthed female whore, a pimp funeral with hilariously dressed dudes sprinkling cocaine over the coffin, Turner's cat peeing on his clothes, and Yaphet Kotto in one of the most satisfying villain death scenes I've ever seen. Isaac's really good in it, too.
posted by mediareport at 8:33 PM on March 14, 2006

I vote that they keep the character of Chef, get someone to do the voice who doesn't sound soulful or black or even, perhaps, male, such that the character's voice merely suddenly changes between one episode and the next. Either that or they just have a different voice actor play Chef each episode as a guest part. No other character remarks upon Chef's voice changes or even notices, except for, perhaps, Kenny, or Timmy, or someone.
posted by kindall at 9:11 PM on March 14, 2006

Great idea, kindall. Scratch Prince-- How about Ute Lemper?
posted by maryh at 9:45 PM on March 14, 2006

Oh my God! Scientology killed Chef! You bastards!
posted by Moody834 at 10:06 PM on March 14, 2006

I really think they should do a final episode for Chef. In it, for example, they could have his balls cut off or something (I'm thinking via an STD from Mrs Cartman). At least that way they could explain the dramatic difference in his voice (e.g. a new person doing his character). Gee, they could just keep the joke going for ages. But of course I'm betting they've thought of this already. Bastards!

Oh and Isaac is a tool.
posted by sjvilla79 at 4:04 AM on March 15, 2006

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Termporarioly anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"

-- South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, responding to Viacom/Comedy Central's bowing to Scientology/Tom Cruise pressure to not re-show "Trapped in the Closet" episode

[ripped from the Doonesbury site today]
posted by five fresh fish at 8:19 AM on March 17, 2006

FFF, it aired in Australia just a few weeks ago.
posted by sjvilla79 at 11:25 PM on March 17, 2006

And you can rip it from torrents, too.

I thought it was a very funny episode, if only because they were so ... vulgar in their attacks on Scienos. Which, to be fair, is fair: CoS is a vulgar organization.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:29 AM on March 18, 2006

I don't think I know enough about what they do to fairly comment either way (but I can still pay out on Chef). In fact I really don't want to know. Bottom line, however, is that the SP episode was absolutely hilarious. Yeah, with that I concur.
posted by sjvilla79 at 5:03 PM on March 20, 2006

oh. woops. posted to the wrong thread maybe...
posted by crunchland at 6:31 PM on March 20, 2006