Cheesy Photo Goodness

March 17, 2006 9:39 PM

8 X 10 glossies of a bygone era. Stacks of professionally taken promotional photos of early 1970s performers (mostly from the cocktail lounge circuit, it appears) were found in an alley and rescued. You can almost hear the tinkly piano music in the background as you look at these hopeful showbiz faces. (via Sharpeworld)
posted by Oriole Adams (59 comments total)

Richard Naklie -- I wonder if he ended up marrying his stepdaughter and taking his professional look-alike career to Europe?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 9:46 PM on March 17, 2006

Hold the phone! Kathie King! Va-va-voom!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 9:47 PM on March 17, 2006

Awesome.
posted by Gator at 10:00 PM on March 17, 2006

Actually, I found this very sad. All of these people were probably bitterly disappointed with how things turned out. None of them really look that happy in the publicity shots, even.

Show business is really nasty if you don't make it.

I did note Kathie King's rather prominent figure even from the thumbnails...
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 10:03 PM on March 17, 2006

Can I just say that this will probably be one of my all-time favorite posts? Thank you.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:10 PM on March 17, 2006

Whoa. (!)
posted by onegreeneye at 10:11 PM on March 17, 2006

Anyone from the 70s' remember when THIS was cool? Sadly, I do.

Oh, and for all your insurance needs, there's this guy.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:13 PM on March 17, 2006

Do you suppose 'Class' act number 3 got ejected from the group when he shaved the 'Stache?

Oh, Ms. Kay, your streamlined hair takes my breath away.

You know, it's a bad sign when you have to name yourself 'Guy', just to get the message across.

Is this why people in the 70s put so much plastic on their furniture?

My, how progressive, a black woman named Jason together with a white man named Marie.
posted by dgaicun at 10:13 PM on March 17, 2006

mommy... Johnny Morgan scares me!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 10:13 PM on March 17, 2006

Awesome. Totally awesome.
posted by Guy Smiley at 10:14 PM on March 17, 2006

Whoa. (!)

Lol. Nowadays, Carleen will fuck you up where you stand if your expense reports aren't turned in in a timely manner.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 10:15 PM on March 17, 2006

Excellent. I can only pray that someone finds a stack of demo recordings dumped in an alley to go with the photos.
posted by Jimbob at 10:16 PM on March 17, 2006

Very cool. I'd love to get the "where are they now" story for each of these. Probably a lot of interesting stories.
posted by saraswati at 10:19 PM on March 17, 2006

Not all are photos of cheap lounge singers, but I'm sure he'd appreciate the joke.
posted by bukharin at 10:27 PM on March 17, 2006

I've been googling some of the names, gotten the most matches so far for Jimmy Dockett, he has a website and there seems to be a lot of refrences to his 70s vinyl recordings by record traders mostly. Unless there was more than one Jimmy Dockett.
posted by bobo123 at 10:39 PM on March 17, 2006

I did something similar with a stack of old promo shots I stumbled across. There are a few stripper shots that could be NSFW.
posted by wsg at 10:42 PM on March 17, 2006

Many of these are distinctly later than early '70s. There are a lot of disco-era clothing and hairstyles. I haven't looked at all of them but a few I've seen are as recent as mid 80s.
posted by tiny purple fishes at 10:44 PM on March 17, 2006

I'm telling you all right now that NBUDA FUNKSHUN will be the name of my sockpuppet account.
posted by emelenjr at 10:47 PM on March 17, 2006

How can one decade contain so much bad clothing, hair, and mustaches? It's unpossible!
posted by loquacious at 11:07 PM on March 17, 2006

Best band name ever?
posted by dragstroke at 11:14 PM on March 17, 2006

Nope.
posted by dragstroke at 11:18 PM on March 17, 2006

Wow, Richard Naklie. At least he had an angle...I guess.
posted by ford and the prefects at 11:51 PM on March 17, 2006

Top flight post. Thanks Oriole.
posted by scatman at 12:06 AM on March 18, 2006

At least guy was preemptive.
posted by iamck at 1:00 AM on March 18, 2006

fucking gold!
posted by strawberryviagra at 1:29 AM on March 18, 2006

Thanks, dragstroke. Now I just picture those guys up on stage proudly proclaiming, "Hi, we're Contagious!"

I suppose they could blame that announcement for the audience fleeing everyone of their shows, but they'd be wrong.
posted by piratebowling at 1:33 AM on March 18, 2006

Yikes! Ventriloquist and his dummy. Plenty of nightmares for me tonight.
posted by lovecrafty at 1:37 AM on March 18, 2006

Oriole cheers for the post which is funny, sad, interesting, historical, etc etc etc. Wow.
posted by The Salaryman at 2:45 AM on March 18, 2006

Woody Allen?

http://sharpeworld.com/kriegsmann_files/source/121.html
posted by merv at 3:29 AM on March 18, 2006

Very nice FPP. What's up with this?

Also, I am reminded that I prefer a simple, clean web interface like this--even if it was created using a Photoshop script or other uncool web method. Content is king and for me, good content always outshines doodads and craptacular CSS/XML. Of course, the two should not be mutually exclusive but they often are.
posted by a_day_late at 3:38 AM on March 18, 2006

Thinking the seventies were actually cool is the only true alternative thought you can have. Everything else has at least the possibility of being accidentally true.

This stuff is great.
posted by srboisvert at 4:10 AM on March 18, 2006

Er, which one is Nancy?
posted by schoolgirl report at 5:05 AM on March 18, 2006

Posts like this are what make MetaFilter a beautiful thing. Thank you! Fucking awesome indeed.
posted by Eekacat at 5:08 AM on March 18, 2006

Do not look directly into his eyes. Great post.
posted by ND¢ at 5:21 AM on March 18, 2006

Probable name of anticipated first album: Look, but don't Touch!.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:44 AM on March 18, 2006

The seventies in a nutshell.

Great find!
posted by languagehat at 5:49 AM on March 18, 2006

The hair.
posted by nickyskye at 5:57 AM on March 18, 2006

Oh man, thank you so much :) I needed the laughs this morning so bad!
posted by kalimac at 6:04 AM on March 18, 2006

it's funny how the rock bands look so much more dorky than the other performers ... they had the top 40 or aor bar/lounge act look down

disappointed and sad? ... i guess that depends on what they expected ... some musicians in bands like those knew damned well they weren't ever going to make the big time ... they were just happy that they weren't slaving away in a factory some place

i know of people who played in those kinds of bands back then ... who are STILL playing in bands like those ... often as a 2nd job, sometimes not
posted by pyramid termite at 6:39 AM on March 18, 2006

It's always good to remind myself why nostalgia for the 70s is so misplaced.

That ventiloquist guy had my hair, or vice versa. How could I ever have thought that was cool?
posted by tommasz at 6:47 AM on March 18, 2006

We had standards and tastes back then. Not like the crap[ of today.
posted by Postroad at 7:23 AM on March 18, 2006

Someone should archive myspace band pages. They already look stoopider than these folks.
posted by fourcheesemac at 7:51 AM on March 18, 2006

I remember "8x10 glossies." I don't think you hear that any more. Performers call them their "headshots" now. I don't know what groups call them.
posted by bovious at 8:03 AM on March 18, 2006

Oh man. What a post! Wasn't that John Oates (sp) in picture #36? The names alone are good laughs. And you have to love the "Rick James" lookalikes of NBUDA FUNKSHUN. This was GREAT!
posted by Tablecrumbs at 8:12 AM on March 18, 2006

Just waiting for Rod Stewart to come along and make them cool.
posted by TiredStarling at 8:23 AM on March 18, 2006

Clearly model train conductors in casts were more popular entertainers back then.

But where to start?

Spot the wig.

Wonder how this act went?

Nobody?

Just in time for St. Pat's day.

Needs more... hats.

Foreshadowing the future cast and location of Lord of the Rings.

So...much...satin.

Part-time Star Trek extras.
posted by bobloblaw at 9:14 AM on March 18, 2006

This just reminds me of the 'Aristrocrats' joke.
posted by merv at 9:28 AM on March 18, 2006

Really compelling stuff . . .

I've been reading Sontag's On Photography and am reminded of a paragraph in the first essay "In Plato's Cave":

Aesthetic distance seems built into the very experience of looking at photographs, if not right away, then certainly with the passage of time. Time eventually positions most photographs, even the most amateurish, at the level of art.
posted by aladfar at 9:57 AM on March 18, 2006

I didn't know Will Ferrell was in Moonfast! That explains the cowbell.
posted by dontoine at 11:21 AM on March 18, 2006

a_day_late said: What's up with this?

It's a proof print with negative retouching instructions written on it — rework the cheek highlight so he doesn't look like a chipmunk; straighten out the baggy trousers; and crop up the bottom edge. A few subtle changes, and he's looking much better.

Fun post. In another 30 years or so, GFY archives should be just as entertaining.
posted by cenoxo at 11:30 AM on March 18, 2006

"Show business is really nasty if you don't make it."

As it should be. How many perfectly good evenings where wasted taking in this garbage?
I hope all the off key singers and shitty guitar players that helped seperate me and my 5 bucks back in the day are working as Walmart greeters now.
posted by 2sheets at 12:12 PM on March 18, 2006

He's a Woody Allen impersonator, for goodness sakes. If you derive sick pleasure out of pathetic impersonators (like I do) check this out

http://www.celebrityimpersonators.com/
posted by joseppi7 at 12:44 PM on March 18, 2006

I'm with lupus_yonderboy: I look at these pictures and I see a lot of dreams that never came true. Hopefully they had fun along the way.
posted by cribcage at 4:27 PM on March 18, 2006

I, also, found myself gaping at the lovely Miss Kathie King.
So...
Her hit single, "Handle with Care" can be heard by purchasing this vinyl compilation or on cd from these people.

I'll let you know how it sounds.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 7:16 PM on March 18, 2006

On the right, see the young Harrison Ford wearing Amazing Platform Shoes!
posted by squalor at 8:34 PM on March 18, 2006

Just about sums it up.
posted by hangashore at 9:02 PM on March 18, 2006

Dear God, the eyebrows, the eyebrows...

(runs off sobbing and clawing at his eyes)
posted by Samizdata at 11:24 PM on March 18, 2006

They're hypnotizin.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:01 AM on March 19, 2006

What about this one?
posted by of strange foe at 9:30 AM on March 19, 2006