Countess Dracula

March 18, 2006 4:39 PM

Elizabeth Báthory is hot. I'd do her. The thing is she holds the world record (according to GWR) for being the most prolific serial killer in history. Supposedly, she may have tortured and killed as many as 2000 young girls, which probably makes her bi or lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that). Some say she is the real inspiration for Bram Stoker's Dracula.
posted by sluglicker (62 comments total)

You know what's really torture? White text on a red background. My eyes! My eyes!
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:43 PM on March 18, 2006

Yeah thats hot alright.
posted by fraxil at 4:48 PM on March 18, 2006

mr_crash_davis, see also:
No fucking line breaks.
CARRIAGE RETURN PLEASE KTHX!
posted by disillusioned at 4:51 PM on March 18, 2006

I have heard about her before, but not such depth. I heard the version that she smeared the young girl's blood on her face to stay youthful. Creepy woman...bet her parties were never dull!
posted by annieb at 4:55 PM on March 18, 2006

This is fascinating. She sounds like she deserved a hot spot in hell. Taking servants out in the snow, and pouring cold water on them until they froze to death? Classy.

(I'm also fascinated by the psychology of one Ashley Dickson: 2300+ words, white letters on red background, with not a single paragraph break? Ouch!)
posted by teece at 5:12 PM on March 18, 2006

Also the topic / inspiration of Andrei Codrescu's great novel, "The Blood Countess." Read!
posted by bovious at 5:17 PM on March 18, 2006

Cool post. I hadn't heard of her.
For those who care, her name is pronounced BAHT-hory (not bath!) AIR-zhaybet. Hungarian does "last" names first, and doesn't have the "th" sound.
posted by Aknaton at 5:19 PM on March 18, 2006

Supposedly, she may have tortured and killed as many as 2000 young girls, which probably makes her bi or lesbian

I believe this is what we call a non sequitur.
posted by dgaicun at 5:24 PM on March 18, 2006

Googling Elizabeth Báthory is an interesting exercise in plagarism and annoying web sites with dark backgrounds with light letters. Even to this day, this woman is torturing people, it seems.
posted by teece at 5:34 PM on March 18, 2006

If you look at the sourcecode for the "tortured and killed" link, you'll see that it was authored by an HTML neophyte (there are carriage returns, but no -P- or -BR- tags).
posted by unmake at 5:34 PM on March 18, 2006

Highlighting the text makes it a much more palatable blue on white. Or view source to give you control of line breaks, as well - it has them, just no HTML coding so they're not rendering.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:35 PM on March 18, 2006

It's never been conclusively proved that she actually did any of that, to my knowledge. There are lots of stories, but little in the way of proof. The Wikipedia entry for her mentions some of the questions about the facts, as does the Wikipedia talk page.

Now, Gilles de Rais had plenty of evidence implicating him.
posted by cerebus19 at 5:36 PM on March 18, 2006

Supposedly, she may have tortured and killed as many as 2000 young girls, which probably makes her bi or lesbian

I believe this is what we call a non sequitur.

I think he's referring to the "serial killers kill according to sexual preference" meme. I'm not sure how accurate that is. Anyone?
posted by ransom_k_fern at 5:39 PM on March 18, 2006

Wow, and getting to the WikiPedia entry (which is much better than the linked freshman paper), we see that some even think she is innocent of these crimes, and that she was framed in an effort for her holdings. Plot thickens.

Irma Szádeczky-Kardoss, a Hungarian researcher published a very interesting article in Hungarian scientific magazine "Élet és Tudomány" (December 2005) where she presented the results of many years of research on the life of Erzsébet Báthory. She strongly believes that the countess was the victim of a frame-up trial conducted by palatine Juraj Thurzo from Western Hungary (man of Mátyás II, King of Hungary).

posted by teece at 5:41 PM on March 18, 2006

The red page is even worse if you read the source:

Elizabeth was surprisingly well educated, as many of the men at that time were not. Elizabeth was fluent in Hungarian, Latin and German when many Nobles were illiterate. This tells us that she was responsible for all her actions to come.

Fascinating subject, terrible post.
posted by b1tr0t at 5:51 PM on March 18, 2006

Haha, from the red page: Now hopefully I've proved my thesis that Elizabeth was a very cruel hearted woman that took advantage of her wealth and prosperity

Such intellect at the University of Nevada.
posted by Count Ziggurat at 6:02 PM on March 18, 2006

"is hot. I'd do her"??? Let me guess. You are about 17, right?
posted by spock at 6:14 PM on March 18, 2006

heh spock that's exactly what I was thinking.

No, my young friend, I believe she would "do" you!
*chortle*
posted by Baby_Balrog at 6:22 PM on March 18, 2006

Definitely an interesting story. Too bad all of the writing about it online is really terrible. That horse incident is particularly weird.
posted by peacay at 6:23 PM on March 18, 2006

See also Eternal and other projects

Before Sunset, Before Sunrise and now: Before Bloody Virgins For Breakfast. Mmmmmm
posted by lalochezia at 6:24 PM on March 18, 2006

MetaFilter: Bloody Virgins For Breakfast.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:41 PM on March 18, 2006

All I can say is thank the FSM that Firefox (w/ web developer) lets me edit the CSS of the page. With a black background, and a width of 400px, it's not torture to read. The level of writing is still pretty hard to take, though.
posted by bashos_frog at 6:45 PM on March 18, 2006

Yah, genocide and mass murder is the hawtness. Stalin makes me cream my jeans.
posted by orthogonality at 7:10 PM on March 18, 2006

Elizabeth Báthory is hot. I'd do her.

Classy.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:18 PM on March 18, 2006

Now I'm really curious about the actual source material. It was surprising how many people on the Wikipedia Talk page were saying essentially "three hundred years of international oral tradition can't be wrong!" I mean, I understand that there was contemporary evidence presented, but now I wonder if information on the actual investigation and trial (and the historical background of the politics of the time) is available in English. Show trials which bring up lurid accusations of Satanism and bizarre sexual conduct (which may or may not have any basis in reality) in order to distract from the political or financial aims of those putting on the trial have a long, long history (e.g. Knights Templar). It doesn't seem totally implausible.

On the other hand, trying to find any of this information would probably mean wading through a lot of Pseudo-Historical Lesbian Vampire Porn, which would give me a headache.
posted by posadnitsa at 7:26 PM on March 18, 2006

"Two of the women had their extremities hacked off before being thrown onto a blazing fire, while Fickó, whose guilt was deemed the lesser, had the mercy of being beheaded before being consigned to the flames. A public scaffold was erected near the castle to show the public that justice had been done." -wikipedia

I guess that's why you are supposed to tip your executioner.
posted by 517 at 7:36 PM on March 18, 2006

Well, you're missing the big story, which was that she actually bathed in her victim's blood. I don't know that that's true, that's just the story.

Anyway, she's the inspiration for countless black metal songs.
posted by fungible at 7:48 PM on March 18, 2006

Here's an interesting toy version of Elizabeth. Be sure to check out the photos of the detail on the left.
posted by obeetaybee at 7:49 PM on March 18, 2006

yeah, duh. Sorry, I meant on the right.
posted by obeetaybee at 7:50 PM on March 18, 2006

Interesting...the text in the red and white page is almost identical to this.

What is wrong with these people?
posted by Biblio at 8:05 PM on March 18, 2006

She was mean.

And now, I've proved my thesis.
posted by kaseijin at 8:08 PM on March 18, 2006

Ingrid Pitt was a rather hot (nsfw) Countess Elisabeth in Countess Dracula.
posted by marxchivist at 8:26 PM on March 18, 2006

You can't read about Bathory without the appropriate soundtrack.
posted by neckro23 at 8:36 PM on March 18, 2006

I'd do her.

i'd guess you are as yet unlikely to be discriminate in such matters.
posted by quonsar at 8:41 PM on March 18, 2006

"is hot. I'd do her"??? Let me guess. You are about 17, right?

A college graduate probably would have used a semicolon.
posted by Kwantsar at 9:23 PM on March 18, 2006

I'd do her.

I admire candor in all its forms, but you may want to be careful about telling women this in person.
posted by Ryvar at 10:02 PM on March 18, 2006

Yeah, nothing turns me on like classist dominatrix with a blood fetish and torture streak a mile long.

I'd heard about her and the blood but not much beyond that. Amazing what people can rationalize as okay. Amazing in a really appalling way, of course.
posted by fenriq at 11:33 PM on March 18, 2006

fungible writes "Anyway, she's the inspiration for countless black metal songs."

I'm vaguely disappointed that the google music page didn't turn up Cruelty and the Beast, which is a surprisingly good (if you're into that sort of thing) bit of sclocky black metal.
posted by ChrisR at 12:10 AM on March 19, 2006

stupid goths...
posted by beerbajay at 12:22 AM on March 19, 2006

Elizabeth Báthory is hot. I'd do her.

Supposedly, she may have tortured and killed as many as 2000 young girls, which probably makes her bi or lesbian...

I don't even know where to start with that.

Also, "Supposedly she may have tortured."? Christ, you are 17, aren't you? Interesting subject, painful to read FPP.
posted by piratebowling at 12:54 AM on March 19, 2006

She was probably very, very interesting. Being that utterly insane, but apparently intelligent, would be at the very least an interesting case study...
posted by blacklite at 1:10 AM on March 19, 2006

Damn, cerebus19 beats me to linking to Gilles de Rais.
Gilles de Rais features in the 1891 novel Là Bas. Strange to see that black magic etc was in fashion at that time just like with the goth kids recently.

I once found a french 1910 edition of the transcripts of the Inquisition hearings of Gilles de Rais.
Which seems to be just a historical record until you see the other titles in the series; sexually titilating stuff like De Sade etc. Pretty groce to think people get excited by stories about Gilles de Rais.
posted by jouke at 4:21 AM on March 19, 2006

Kwantsar:A college graduate probably would have used a semicolon.

Kurt Vonnegut:"Never use semi-colons. What are they good for? What are you supposed to do with them? You’re reading along, and then suddenly, there it is. What does it mean? All semi-colons do is suggest you’ve been to college."

My post was an attempt at humor. Either some of you have no sense of humor or I don't. No one chuckled?

piratebowling: Also, "Supposedly she may have tortured."?
Sorry.
posted by sluglicker at 4:49 AM on March 19, 2006

By the way: I liked the humouristic tone of sluglickers FPP even if it might be characterised as a bit puerile.
posted by jouke at 4:54 AM on March 19, 2006

Sluglicker, I wouldn't mind Mefi's self-appointed moral police too much.
posted by jouke at 4:56 AM on March 19, 2006

No one chuckled?

I chuckled, and I didn't think it meant you were a teenager. Like jouke said, don't mind the scoffers. Interesting post (and if there's nothing good out there on the internet—I'm not about to check—I guess you can't be blamed for that wretched college-idiot link).

For those who care, her name is pronounced BAHT-hory

Actually, it should be simply BAHT-ory; the -th- is a graphic variant of -t- (also common in German of the period). Cf. the Wikipedia article's explanation of the origin of her name: "Báthor [today Nyírbátor] meaning 'valiant'."
posted by languagehat at 6:02 AM on March 19, 2006

The street I live on is named after her cousin Steve.
posted by pracowity at 6:28 AM on March 19, 2006

Christ, you are 17, aren't you?

(Not that there is anything wrong with that.)
posted by spock at 6:59 AM on March 19, 2006

Either some of you have no sense of humor or I don't. No one chuckled?

I chuckled at Kwantsar. In general, FPPs are the "straight men" to commenter's comedy, rather than the other way around. Ribbing comes with the territory. Perhaps you could evolve a tougher skin or adopt an alternate view.
posted by spock at 7:32 AM on March 19, 2006

I laughed at "I'd do her," but only because I've abjectly failed to grow ashamed of juvenile humor . . . and thank God for that. Cortex explains.
posted by Ryvar at 7:38 AM on March 19, 2006

I just figured which probably makes her bi or lesbian meant it could be that much more diffiult to accomplish the doing of her.
posted by soma lkzx at 8:28 AM on March 19, 2006

"I just figured which probably makes her bi or lesbian meant it could be that much more diffiult to accomplish the doing of her."

The challenge is what makes it interesting.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:47 AM on March 19, 2006

i just received this email from someone who thinks i sent her a duclod letter:

maggie pie wrote:
> here's one of mine:
>
> Q: What do duclods have for breakfast?
> A: A girl, then a boy
>
> do you like it?
>
> you sent me a letter.
> maggpie

posted by quonsar at 9:15 AM on March 19, 2006 [2 favorites has favorites]

I think I can safely speak for lesbians everywhere when I say that, based on this post alone, none of us would ever do sluglicker.
posted by Hildegarde at 9:17 AM on March 19, 2006

Thank you pracowity!!!! I am ETERNALLY grateful. When I was about 8 or 9 we had a dog called Batory (sp?) and reading this I was getting ready for some SERIOUS therapy.
posted by johngumbo at 10:14 AM on March 19, 2006

Wouldn't Hitler be the biggest serial killer?

OMG GOODWIN!!!!
posted by delmoi at 10:30 AM on March 19, 2006

For some reason this thread reminded me that I should read Farmer's Image of the Beast again. You know, for kids.
posted by meehawl at 10:51 AM on March 19, 2006

This article was written by a grad student? Seriously?
posted by lunalaguna at 12:05 PM on March 19, 2006

So are they going to make a realdoll based on her or what?
posted by Smedleyman at 2:03 PM on March 19, 2006

Hildegarde:I think I can safely speak for lesbians everywhere when I say that, based on this post alone, none of us would ever do sluglicker.

Really? You mean "safely"(.pdf) as in you can make that statement without getting the shit beat out of you? No worries. They elected you as their mouthpiece, dear (pun originally unintended, but I really mean it now that I think about it). Hehe...she wants me!
posted by sluglicker at 8:01 PM on March 19, 2006

Man. Blacklisted by bi-curious lesbians everywhere - a fate worse than death, to be sure.
posted by Ryvar at 3:34 AM on March 20, 2006

"Báthor [today Nyírbátor] meaning 'valiant'."
posted by languagehat at 9:02 AM EST on March 19 [!]


This is my family name-- my father's Hungarian ancestors. I was always told our name translated as "Warrior" and the family coat of arms contains three battle axes. Not too surprisingly my father dressed up as Dracula every halloween with red silk-lined cape and his black hair slicked back to show his wido's peak.

As a child I had serious issues with my sharp canine teeth.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 10:01 AM on March 20, 2006