Pot, boobies and panties in the Alabama Govenors Race

March 24, 2006 8:24 AM

Pot, boobies and panties in the Alabama Govenors Race Loretta Nall is running for govenor of Alabama on the Marijuana Party ticket and also trying to the the nomination from the Libertarian Party. Her cleavage recently became an issue when a columnist for an Alabama newspaper got huffy because his newspaper ran a picture of her showing cleavage. But that's not all. Ms. Nall was also denied permission to see her brother in jail because she wasn't wearing panties. She tells all about it in her blog.
posted by nyxxxx (50 comments total)

The Marijuana Party?? Is that a political party, or just a, ... party? Because, well, I could party.
posted by psmealey at 8:34 AM on March 24, 2006

"One little 7-year-old boy, (who was so precious I could have gobbled him right up)..." apparently in addition to smoking pot, she EATS KIDS!
posted by shoepal at 8:48 AM on March 24, 2006

apparently in addition to smoking pot, she EATS KIDS!

Well, if you get the munchies, and there's nothing else around ...
posted by Godbert at 8:51 AM on March 24, 2006

Er, where does the smoking pot is a sin logic come from? Is that in the bible?
posted by dig_duggler at 8:52 AM on March 24, 2006

Man, it would be great if she got elected. Just for the refusal to wear panties. :)
posted by antifuse at 8:52 AM on March 24, 2006

I would vote for her if I lived in Alabama. Her blog is excellent. It makes Howard Dean's blog look like an advert for Celexa. Uncluttered, informative, and homegrown. Its too bad she lives in Alabama. Does the Internet go to Alabama?
posted by sswiller at 8:52 AM on March 24, 2006

Er, where does the smoking pot is a sin logic come from? Is that in the bible?

Sort of. You can find it in The How to Crush Your Competition with Money and Politics Bible written by the alcohol, tobacco and cotton lobbies.
posted by illiad at 8:57 AM on March 24, 2006

Does the Internet go to Alabama?

Is that anything like going to 11?
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:57 AM on March 24, 2006

Does the Internet go to Alabama?

And....

6 posts to make fun of Alabama. Congratulations! You are our grand prize winner!

Some people in Alabama do stupid things and should be mocked (of course some people in California take millions from defense contractors and we don't mock California as a whole). For singling out the state for being stupid for the stupid actions of, um, a woman you would vote for I heartily congratulate you. Kudos!
posted by dig_duggler at 8:59 AM on March 24, 2006

You mean "kudos"! Get it straight, dig_duggler.
posted by shoepal at 9:02 AM on March 24, 2006

And yes, I realize you aren't making fun of her. I'm just not sure what you're making fun of.
posted by dig_duggler at 9:03 AM on March 24, 2006

That kudos thread is awesome.
posted by dig_duggler at 9:04 AM on March 24, 2006

wow, I couldn't stop reading her Great prison panty rebellion story.
posted by freudianslipper at 9:06 AM on March 24, 2006

I'm not really making fun of Alabama. I love Alabama! Meat and three's baby!!!
posted by sswiller at 9:08 AM on March 24, 2006

Just for the heck of it, here's the picture at issue.
posted by jasper411 at 9:08 AM on March 24, 2006

I want her to be elected. Just imagine... she's making a speech, camera pans out, she crosses legs. HOT BEAVER ACTION!
posted by qvantamon at 9:13 AM on March 24, 2006

Her slogan is "Loretta Nall, Y'all." Is that great or what?
posted by maxreax at 9:14 AM on March 24, 2006

"'Oh Lord Loretta...they are going to think we are some sort of weird non-panty wearing lesbian cult.'
(note to readers: neither my mother nor myself are anti-gay in any way. )"

Right.
posted by fandango_matt at 9:24 AM on March 24, 2006

What I wanna know is this:

How does she avoid leaving snail trails on the furniture?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:41 AM on March 24, 2006

>wow, I couldn't stop reading her Great prison panty rebellion story.

ALDOC spokesman Brian Corbett is a real asshole. Not only were those emails unprofessional but extremely rude. "The cardinal sin of journalism?" Using emoticons? He can't even cite where the 'must wear panties' rule is printed for visitors.
posted by skallas at 9:42 AM on March 24, 2006

Fuck it, if I lived in Alabama she'd have my vote.

Snail trails or no.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:43 AM on March 24, 2006

It was quite shocking to me to see my breasts being discussed in the context of my gubernatorial election campaign ...

Whoa, for a minute there I thought this was about Katherine Harris...
posted by R. Mutt at 9:48 AM on March 24, 2006

some sort of weird non-panty wearing lesbian cult.

....a pause while all the men in the room adjust themselves...

Ok, you may continue with your Alabama-bashing.
posted by thanotopsis at 9:49 AM on March 24, 2006

I think you can only get it on in Alabama if the Lord is present.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 10:01 AM on March 24, 2006

I hear that George Wallace is the Paul Revere of Alabama.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 10:02 AM on March 24, 2006

Man, it would be great if she got elected. Just for the refusal to wear panties. :)

Pssht, old news. Our Dear Former Governor Jesse Ventura is on record stating that he prefers 'going commando' most of the time.

One journalist wrote about Ventura: "He's not a man afraid of 'skeletons in the closet', mostly because his skeletons are all out in the open, sitting on the couch and smoking cigars."
posted by unixrat at 10:02 AM on March 24, 2006

In Alabama, the trailers are lined with satin.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 10:03 AM on March 24, 2006

How does she avoid leaving snail trails on the furniture?

Probably through some clever combination of wearing outerwear and having a vagina rather than a snail.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:03 AM on March 24, 2006

The sex is great in Alabama, everyone practices with their family.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 10:04 AM on March 24, 2006

How frustrating! I was once refused entrance to a prison because I was wearing panties!
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:08 AM on March 24, 2006

"Now that you and the rest of Alabama have been introduced to the twins perhaps you would like to meet the rest of me. I'll don my burka so y'all won't be offended and then perhaps we can discuss the other planks in my platform since you only covered one."

Damn, this woman rocks!
posted by brundlefly at 10:31 AM on March 24, 2006

I'd hit vote that.

Twice!
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:36 AM on March 24, 2006

Snail trails? WTF? Vaginas do not secrete anything while the woman is not aroused or menstruating (As far as I know) And in the second case they could wear a tampon.
posted by delmoi at 10:46 AM on March 24, 2006

Is there a link where we can donate to her campaign?
posted by delmoi at 10:50 AM on March 24, 2006

Damn, this woman rocks!

Welcome to Alabama. Surprising as it may seem and though there may be many of them, not everyone is a toothless hillbilly, a bigoted redneck or a rabid bible beater. Plus the food is great and tea comes sweet unless you ask for it not to be.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:51 AM on March 24, 2006

Is that in the bible?

Gen 1:29: And God said, "Look! I have given you the seed-bearing plants throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for your food.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:54 AM on March 24, 2006

snail trails

OMFG. Have you men never lived with a freakin' woman before? WTF do you think those cotton liners in their undies are all about? WTF do you think the discolouration comes from?

Sheezus.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:55 AM on March 24, 2006

How does she avoid leaving snail trails on the furniture?

Salt it first.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:56 AM on March 24, 2006

I opened this thread with great trepidation. My fears were confirmed. Tee-hee, look at the inbred hicks. I guess the state that could produce such utter assholes as Judge Roy Moore deserves it. As a native son, I feel the need to defend my home state, even as I hate so much of what it has become.

Then I read the links.

I am going to vote for this woman. I am going to volunteer for her campaign. I will continue to support her efforts at drug law and prison reform.

Dig, e-mail me and we'll go out for drinks and then maybe we'll go shoot a Yankee.

And yes, the Internet goes to Alabama, it's just kinda slow and tends to drop its g's.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:59 AM on March 24, 2006

>Then I read the links.

Yeah, me too. As much as this narrative is supposed to be about about this "eccentric" woman and the marijuana party and all sorts of silliness, its really a shameful indictment against the war on drugs in Alabama, if not nationwide. Her story is pretty sad and its uplifting to read about someone abused by the system only to come back fighting. The stem and seeds they found in her house almost cost her her kids. The entire state government seems to hate her. She has a GED but is smart as a whip, but sadly the discourse isnt about the drug war but about hillbillies, boobies, and snail trails. So much for mefi as some intellectual haven. We're at fark levels here. If not below.
posted by skallas at 11:05 AM on March 24, 2006

Campaign contribution link.
posted by ijoshua at 11:08 AM on March 24, 2006

Oh hell yeah! Donation on it's way! I absolutely hate blogs especially political ones but this one - it's well...real!
posted by evilelvis at 11:22 AM on March 24, 2006

I too wish I could vote for her, and further wish when she's done with Alabama, maybe she can come do some good for the rest of the country.
posted by jrb223 at 11:40 AM on March 24, 2006

I'm sincerely hoping that she makes at least enough of a splash to reach northward a few miles into Tennessee and shake a little sense into some folks around here. Not that the Powers That Be aren't going to make the news anyway regarding busts. Seems like all the time there's another big pot bust around here. (Warning: Second link not Firefox friendly)
posted by rhythim at 12:59 PM on March 24, 2006

I read the column. The columnist says toward the end (direct quote, including the dots, which he uses as punctuation):

"In 55 years of political writing, that was a first for me—-a picture in my column of a woman displaying cleavage. I can only hope that my mother...and I know for a fact where she ended in the after life...didn’t see that column."

Exact quote. This raises several questions, among them:

-- which place, Heaven or Hell, provides a mother with her son's newspaper column?
-- which place allows the display of cleavage?
-- don't both? If not, why not?
-- how this columnist can "know for a fact where she ended in the after life" and
-- why he's not saying where, exactly, or how he knows this.
posted by hank at 1:17 PM on March 24, 2006

Anyone wanting to donate to her campaign can do it here.
posted by nyxxxx at 1:25 PM on March 24, 2006

Oh, and there's a mailing list.

She's actually writng the blog, handling the mailing list and all of that herself. It's not someone else doing it, like most political blogs.

I knew about this story because she's been writing about it on the mailing list.
posted by nyxxxx at 1:30 PM on March 24, 2006

which place, Heaven or Hell, provides a mother with her son's newspaper column?

According to the Shelby County Reporter's subscription page, 12 months of delivery to Heaven or Hell would only cost you $53.60. Such a bargain! Assuming Hell/Heaven is "Out of State" and not "In Shelby County" or "Out of Shelby County, but in Alabama."
posted by kirkaracha at 2:01 PM on March 24, 2006

I am actually voting in the Republican primary so I can have as many chances to vote against Roy Moore as humanly possible. Siegelman is in court for his role in Alabama's own version of Enron, but in a pinch I can live with Don, Lucy Baxley or even incumbent Bob Riley, who seems infinitely more worried about Alabama business than Alabama churches. So after voting against Moore in the primaries, I think I will chalk a vote up for our new pantieless, dope smoking overlord (overlady? governatrix?)
posted by spartacusroosevelt at 7:49 PM on March 24, 2006

spartacus, I wholeheartedly agree.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:55 PM on March 24, 2006