Monkeys
April 23, 2006 1:28 AM   Subscribe

The meaning of life.
posted by bobbyelliott (103 comments total)

 
[this is good]
posted by Malor at 1:36 AM on April 23, 2006


Call me Ishmael.
posted by deadfather at 1:36 AM on April 23, 2006


That was beautiful, and not just because that "slide advance" noise brought back the joys of filmstrip day in elementary school.
posted by Mikey-San at 1:45 AM on April 23, 2006


So...Life is meaningless...for monkeys?
posted by Colloquial Collision at 1:46 AM on April 23, 2006


Some monkey ate mushrooms for the first time.
posted by redteam at 2:27 AM on April 23, 2006


Dance monkeys! Dance!
posted by robot at 2:28 AM on April 23, 2006


I feel more monkey now.
posted by lorbus at 2:33 AM on April 23, 2006


Not enough dancing.
posted by MetaMonkey at 2:45 AM on April 23, 2006


"The monkeys have so much potential if only they would apply themselves."

Amen.

Excellent post. From one monkey to another, thanks for sharing, bobbyelliott.
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:46 AM on April 23, 2006


This monkey approves.

And surely this is via?
posted by slimepuppy at 2:56 AM on April 23, 2006


Wait a second... that movie was MADE by monkeys!

Monkeys are funny. Like when they wear clothes, wash a cat in the sink, or launch cruise missiles from the Oval Office.
posted by Davenhill at 3:00 AM on April 23, 2006


See Also...
posted by seanyboy at 3:50 AM on April 23, 2006


the monkeys are made of meat.
posted by arialblack at 4:01 AM on April 23, 2006


Why does the monkey do what the monkey does ?
posted by elpapacito at 4:03 AM on April 23, 2006


Is that Carey Grant to thr lrft of the screen?
posted by ParisParamus at 4:10 AM on April 23, 2006


left.
posted by ParisParamus at 4:10 AM on April 23, 2006


Do you remember film strips?
posted by ParisParamus at 4:24 AM on April 23, 2006


OOK!
posted by terrymiles at 4:27 AM on April 23, 2006


Too bad there wasn't a real climax... it kept getting better and better, but then it got repetitive.
posted by Zombie Dreams at 4:59 AM on April 23, 2006


I liked it well enough, but why does every one one of these little spiels assume that all us monkeys are lonely and unhappy.
posted by moonbiter at 5:15 AM on April 23, 2006


So someone took the "stuff is funny if you include monkeys in it" and ran with it, did they?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 5:15 AM on April 23, 2006


That was great. As I sit here eating a banana..
posted by doctor_negative at 5:35 AM on April 23, 2006


Keep banging those rocks together, guys.
posted by loquacious at 5:36 AM on April 23, 2006


The monkeys make internet movies wherein they use the word "monkey" way too many times.
posted by magodesky at 5:39 AM on April 23, 2006


I know I did.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:02 AM on April 23, 2006


moonbiter: Agree strongly. I'm neither lonely nor unhappy. Aggervated sometimes, and I'll admit to not being content all the time, but the world would be awfully boring if the only thing you could feel was happy or content.

Big brains mean we aren't happy all the time because we've got that inconvenient self awareness thing going for us, as well as the whole "looking to the future" ability. I don't see it as being a problem, just a consiquence of what we are.

Dogs are happy all the time because they're too stupid to be anything else. Not that I've got anything against dogs, they're cool, but I don't particularly envy them for their mindless happyness. I'll take the human condition over the canine condition any day.
posted by sotonohito at 6:02 AM on April 23, 2006


Wow, that taught me a boring lesson.
posted by Falconetti at 6:06 AM on April 23, 2006


Would have benefited from a different narrator. Maybe the foreign legion guy.
posted by It ain't over yet at 6:12 AM on April 23, 2006


Monkey see, monkey do.

Monkey do, monkey do-do
posted by spazzm at 6:20 AM on April 23, 2006


yeah, the narrator's voiced ruined it.
posted by Sijeka at 6:31 AM on April 23, 2006


Monkey see, monkey click.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:32 AM on April 23, 2006


Well, I liked it. btw, was anyone reminded of that part in Being John Malkovich?

Craig Schwartz: You don't know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work. And they won't allow it... because I raise issues.
posted by Stauf at 6:39 AM on April 23, 2006


The monkeys would be just fine if they just stopped listening to other monkeys and started trusting themselves...
posted by any major dude at 6:39 AM on April 23, 2006


the "monkeys" have a peculiar need to denegrate themselves by calling themselves monkeys ... at best, it gives them relief through cynical laugher ... at worst, it makes them feel as if they can't really be held responsible
posted by pyramid termite at 6:44 AM on April 23, 2006


The monkeys will never be just fine.
Does that make me a cynic?
posted by Stauf at 6:45 AM on April 23, 2006


I, myself, am a Potato Washing Monkey.
posted by UseyurBrain at 6:49 AM on April 23, 2006


Well, at first the monkeys worry about everything, then by the end, the monkeys think everything's going to be fine. Well, which is it?

Personally, I fancy myself as a salamander.
posted by fungible at 6:53 AM on April 23, 2006


The guy's accent was too annoying.
posted by Mocata at 6:58 AM on April 23, 2006


war with newts
posted by kliuless at 7:01 AM on April 23, 2006


*applauds*

But this was a lot like Inside the Monkeysphere, except not as funny.
posted by driveler at 7:12 AM on April 23, 2006


What do I care? This guy isn't anywhere near inside my Monkeysphere.
posted by quite unimportant at 7:14 AM on April 23, 2006


DAMN! TWO MINUTES.
posted by quite unimportant at 7:14 AM on April 23, 2006


Code monkey get up, get coffee.
Code monkey go to job.
Code monkey have boring meeting
With boring manager Rob...
posted by PlusDistance at 7:26 AM on April 23, 2006


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy.

Enjoyed that quite a bit
posted by mosk at 7:30 AM on April 23, 2006


I ain't no monkey's uncle
posted by allen.spaulding at 7:35 AM on April 23, 2006


Monkeys with insurance.
posted by 6am at 7:38 AM on April 23, 2006


Some monkeys like to by snarky.

Other monkeys think cynicism is a trap.
posted by bonehead at 7:42 AM on April 23, 2006


Post monkey, post!
posted by signal at 7:49 AM on April 23, 2006


I have been wondering about that--the meaning of life.

Meaning is found in facing the fact that we are really just smart monkeys?

Better was the post of the one-act monkeys-are-meat play. That monkeys are thinking, dancing, singing meat helps put it all in my sector of reality. But still, this falls short of the meaning my meat seeks.

My cockatiel says, "I'm such a pretty bird!" over and over as I ponder this and his tiny meat brain. At least I know I'm not alone.

Some meaning is indeed found in the post about monkeys washing potatoes. That rang true in my meathead. When the hundredth monkey learns to wash the sand from thrown potatoes, wonder happens. All monkeys everywhere get it through unseen group consciousness. The web of life kicks in, and suddenly we all learn to wash sand from potatoes cast before us.

Quick! All monkeys stop hating, killing and destroying the planet, I can’t wait to see if this works.

I'm such a pretty bird.
posted by BillyElmore at 7:51 AM on April 23, 2006


"misery makes the monkey eat red pepper."

nice post.
posted by nola at 7:52 AM on April 23, 2006


monkeyfilter
posted by quarsan at 7:54 AM on April 23, 2006


I prefer his airwolf performance.
posted by jmgorman at 7:56 AM on April 23, 2006


There's something very wrong about this superior tone coming from a narrator who can't pronounce 'Nietzsche'
posted by pompomtom at 8:07 AM on April 23, 2006


I found that unsurprisingly void of meaning.
posted by blue_beetle at 8:14 AM on April 23, 2006


There's something very wrong about this superior tone coming from a narrator who can't pronounce 'Nietzsche'

There's something very wrong about this superior tone coming from a MeFite who thinks whatever way he happens to pronounce 'Nietzsche' is the pronunciation, and everyone who says it some other way is an idiot. Hint: produce an audio file of you saying "Nietzsche" and I guarantee I'll be able to find something "wrong" with it.
posted by languagehat at 8:18 AM on April 23, 2006


blue_beetle: yeah, that too. The promised meaning of life was never delivered.
posted by sotonohito at 8:27 AM on April 23, 2006


"Take your stinkin paws off me, you damn dirty ape"
posted by vronsky at 8:30 AM on April 23, 2006


not to fling poo or anything, but that flimstrip advance noise always meant you had to push a button or lever, like a good trained monkey--but no one was at the machine, or holding a wired remote to it...and why would a group of monkeys watch a filmstrip on monkeys telling them stuff they already knew? and in such a tone of derision?

/cranky monkey
posted by amberglow at 8:35 AM on April 23, 2006


Does this explain why I can't help flinging poo?

<fling>
posted by jewzilla at 8:35 AM on April 23, 2006


The promised meaning of life was never delivered.

The author insinuates it with his reference to how animals can just "be." There is no meaning to life, because meaning is an artifact of the way our peculiar monkey-brains work.
posted by moonbiter at 8:36 AM on April 23, 2006


I give it a mischievous tails up.

Sidequestion: didn't a real monkey, instead of the human one make it to space first?
posted by Cedric at 8:44 AM on April 23, 2006


The original performance MP3 is much better. It's all in the delivery and the delivery here is flat.
posted by kindall at 8:49 AM on April 23, 2006


I love the smell of pomposity in the morning. Well, at least it was rather well done.
posted by Krrrlson at 8:50 AM on April 23, 2006


that was good.
posted by killdevil at 8:50 AM on April 23, 2006


Sidequestion: didn't a real monkey, instead of the human one make it to space first?

Not before a dog.
posted by Krrrlson at 8:51 AM on April 23, 2006


Actually, much to my dismay, Ernie seems to have swapped out his original MP3 of his monkeys piece with a later recording. The later recording has better sound quality but is not as good a performance.
posted by kindall at 8:53 AM on April 23, 2006


I really liked it, so suck it hater-monkeys.

Seriously, 99% of us with high speed internet access on a Sunday morning "get" what this is saying. But how foreign and radical this must sound to much of the world, even in 2006.

Some monkey ate mushrooms for the first time.

Heh.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:59 AM on April 23, 2006


monkey washing a cat
posted by isopraxis at 9:14 AM on April 23, 2006


There's something very wrong about this superior tone coming from a narrator who can't pronounce 'Nietzsche'

Ever hear the President say "nuclear"? This kid may have a bigger future than you think.
posted by banished at 9:18 AM on April 23, 2006


There's something very wrong about this superior tone coming from a MeFite who thinks whatever way he happens to pronounce 'Nietzsche' is the pronunciation, and everyone who says it some other way is an idiot. Hint: produce an audio file of you saying "Nietzsche" and I guarantee I'll be able to find something "wrong" with it.

Pompomtom never made a claim that he himself could pronounce Nietzsche correctly, just that the narrator was failing to pronounce the name correctly. Assuming that pompomtom was referring to this, he is of course, correct. :-)
posted by longdaysjourney at 9:21 AM on April 23, 2006


Monkey brain
posted by growabrain at 9:31 AM on April 23, 2006


it goes off the rails when it gets to the beatles, but before that, it was fantastic.
posted by empath at 9:37 AM on April 23, 2006


not to fling poo or anything, but that flimstrip advance noise always meant you had to push a button or lever, like a good trained monkey--but no one was at the machine, or holding a wired remote to it

In fact, I've watched plenty of film strips on machines that were designed to wait for the "boop" noise and advance all by themselves.
posted by odinsdream at 9:55 AM on April 23, 2006


How dare he tell me my Religion is just a fear-fueled fantasy crutch. I hate him! I want to kill him with my poo! And it smells very badly too.
posted by Sir BoBoMonkey Pooflinger Esquire III at 10:12 AM on April 23, 2006


I'll take the human condition over the canine condition any day.

Spoken like a true monkey.
posted by MarkO at 10:14 AM on April 23, 2006


the "monkeys" have a peculiar need to denegrate themselves by calling themselves monkeys ... at best, it gives them relief through cynical laugher


@pyramide termite, please rethink this, because there are tremendous implications. We need to understand where we come from, if we want to improve the human condition.

@no one in particular: the danger comes, when monkeys, realizing what they are, start to derive monkeyish consequences from that. Nontheless, we must try, is there another hope?
posted by vertriebskonzept at 10:22 AM on April 23, 2006


really odin? i never heard of such a smart filmstrip machine. It's always been in my experience that the noise on the soundtrack was a specific cue for an actual person to advance it.
posted by amberglow at 10:30 AM on April 23, 2006


what does it take to "not" be a monkey. Saying man is "just monkeys" is fine and all ... I'm just not sure what the point is, but then I can be dense like that.
posted by forforf at 10:39 AM on April 23, 2006


i never heard of such a smart filmstrip machine.

That is because you went to cheap-ass schools.

I believe the cue tone for automatic-advance filmstrip players is actually on a separate channel from the main audio. I remember some tapes having two sides, one with audible cue tones and the other without.
posted by kindall at 10:45 AM on April 23, 2006


Slam poem.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 10:46 AM on April 23, 2006


Longdaysjourney - you deserve some sort of award for that.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 10:48 AM on April 23, 2006


Needs more monkey-bell.
posted by shnoz-gobblin at 10:57 AM on April 23, 2006


@pyramide termite, please rethink this, because there are tremendous implications.

there's a world of difference between saying we are monkeys and saying we evolved from them ... i'm fine with the latter statement ... the former statement isn't going to help us with anything
posted by pyramid termite at 11:12 AM on April 23, 2006


[pedant]
Monkeys have tails. Not having tails, we are apes, as are the chimps and orangutangs shown during the rant.
[/pedant]

I enjoyed that.
posted by lekvar at 12:15 PM on April 23, 2006


Pah. You say monkey, i say lizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard.
posted by lalochezia at 12:18 PM on April 23, 2006


Technically, we're not monkeys. We're apes.
posted by magodesky at 12:38 PM on April 23, 2006


He went on to become the Austin Slam Champion in 1998 and again in 2001...

Like it means something.

The monkeys have so much potential if only they apply themselves.

Why? We're just a bunch of monkeys.

He also wrote this, which has been e-mailed to me at least five times by the same person.

His mastery of the obvious and ability to contradict himself while maintaining a smug, damn-that-makes-me-want-to-punch-myself-in-the-face-as-a-proxy-for-him tone is impressive, though.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:52 PM on April 23, 2006


Clearly created by a monkey.
posted by muppetboy at 12:56 PM on April 23, 2006


boop!
posted by arialblack at 1:27 PM on April 23, 2006


That is because you went to cheap-ass schools.

I believe the cue tone for automatic-advance filmstrip players is actually on a separate channel from the main audio. I remember some tapes having two sides, one with audible cue tones and the other without.


of course i did : P
maybe those came later? post early-mid 70s?
posted by amberglow at 1:32 PM on April 23, 2006


what does it take to "not" be a monkey.

Not blindly doing what feels good or right, because you know now where feelings come from. Trying to rationally find the ethical thing. I know this sounds not fun. But it is the only way to bring long term happiness, justice, etc. to the greatest number.

Emotions have certainly their place and time. But they should not be the top decision makers.
posted by vertriebskonzept at 1:34 PM on April 23, 2006


Technically, we're not monkeys. We're apes.

i think that's what he meant when when he commented that we delineate between Homo-erectus and Australopithecus. From an unbiased observers perspective, we are picking nits and 'monkey' is as good a term as any.

Still, i liked it. i would have preferred if he made a stonger closing on his point of 'just being', but on the whole it was pretty solid.
posted by quin at 2:00 PM on April 23, 2006


the monkeys like to listen to music...by the monkeys
posted by jne1813 at 2:14 PM on April 23, 2006


Better to be Socrates dissatisfied, than a fool satisfied...

or something along those lines...
posted by RufusW at 3:07 PM on April 23, 2006


Pedantic monkeys.

Pedantic apes.
posted by dopeypanda at 3:30 PM on April 23, 2006


is it any wonder, that the monkeys confused?
posted by hal9k at 4:27 PM on April 23, 2006


Anyone who liked the ideas here should check out Alan Watts' The Wisdom of Insecurity. Same line of thought with better metaphors and without the smugness.
posted by the jam at 6:54 PM on April 23, 2006


Uhh... yeah, I agree. Good until the Beatles. Then it manages to be both self-righteous yet say nothing new.

Oh, and languagehat's right. Nobody knows how to say Nietzsche's name. I've seen philosophy classes grind to a lovely stop because of professor-embarassment. That's one of the little gifts he left us. That and his hatred.
posted by Football Bat at 9:39 PM on April 23, 2006


Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï Kaï

Kaï
posted by zouhair at 9:44 PM on April 23, 2006


I believe the cue tone for automatic-advance filmstrip players is actually on a separate channel from the main audio. I remember some tapes having two sides, one with audible cue tones and the other without.


Close- there were often two sides to the cassettes, (audible and inaudible) but there were not two channels of sound on each side.

They actually work with a very low-frequency bump, something like 20-30hz. It's just a sound that's so low that the little speaker on the thing can't reproduce it. But it's mixed in with the audio you hear, it's not a separate channel.
posted by fake at 1:36 AM on April 24, 2006


The correct pronunciation of "Nietzsche" is "Wanker".
posted by Phanx at 4:01 AM on April 24, 2006


It featured showed Micky Donlenz but not Ringo Starr. . .I am affronted.
posted by Danf at 11:06 AM on April 24, 2006


I like the live version better. Still that was pretty Airwolf.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 3:34 PM on April 24, 2006


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