Shelley the Republican

May 2, 2006 6:33 AM

Shelley is a Republican.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (52 comments total)

I don't think this post needs any further description, so all I will do is point you to the relevant Google Group - here is an interesting thread on those godless F*ref*x users.

via mijnkopthee (Dutch)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:36 AM on May 2, 2006

"There is a growing tide of Godless people using this thing called F*ref*x in England, Europe. It is a Sign. More and
more children are being turned away from The Way. In England -which is in Europe, btw- they are teaching our children to use F*ref*x instead of MICROSOFT! "

Woah, I'm in England and I'm using F*ref*x!

This guy is joking around tho yes?? This can't be serious??

Stop 3 of his hetro-sexualisation of subjext X is also vaugly offensive:

Show him the correct way not to talk like a gay (you know, not as British).

Only half the guys here walk like that!
posted by Meccabilly at 6:42 AM on May 2, 2006

On preview, this must be a joke.
posted by Meccabilly at 6:43 AM on May 2, 2006

Would somebody please tell me if this is for real, or if he's being funny and ironic like Jesus' General.

I'm serious. I just can't tell anymore.
posted by lordrunningclam at 6:46 AM on May 2, 2006

Fake.
posted by LarryC at 6:46 AM on May 2, 2006

I knew it, those damn commies get me every time with their superior software and excellent community standing! Damn you all!
posted by dflemingdotorg at 6:47 AM on May 2, 2006

Im not sure it is fake... further down has some articles that are less laugh out loud funny....
posted by Meccabilly at 6:49 AM on May 2, 2006

It only seems as conservative as MetaFilter is liberal, so it might be real. It reminds me of conversations with my relatives in Maine.

Anyway, the whole abstinence thing is for fat teenagers.
posted by jon_kill at 6:50 AM on May 2, 2006

This guy is joking around tho yes?? This can't be serious??

ShelleyTheRepublican.com is a satirical entertainment web site. The purpose of this website is to point out political and societal injustice by exaggerating the viewpoint of the party the injustice originates from. Basically it's save to say that almost all information in the articles on this web site are false. The web site is designed to be funny.

I know I saw this somewhere recently, because I was specifically thinking that Shelley can't be a native English speaker due to the "About me" sidebar which states, "...before they succeed to destroy our great nation!"
posted by Hal Mumkin at 6:51 AM on May 2, 2006

(sorry, should have italicized)
posted by Hal Mumkin at 6:52 AM on May 2, 2006

It reminds me of conversations with my relatives in Maine.

Maine: the Islamofascist dictatorship. jon_kill, you need to meet some of the rest of us up here.

p.s. Quite an apt post. If we had more Republicans like Shelley, it would be ‘good news for the insane.’
posted by LeLiLo at 6:55 AM on May 2, 2006

He is not quite a liberal, but is not... well, just not American enough, you know what I mean. I also suspect he might be gay.

Tee hee.
posted by slimepuppy at 6:55 AM on May 2, 2006

Mmm. I didn't mean to say anything about Maine, just my relatives who happen to live in Maine.
posted by jon_kill at 6:56 AM on May 2, 2006

I'm sad that the fake blogger is from Iowa. We only barely leaned red in that last election and I suspect that'll change in the next one. If there's anywhere that typifies middle of the road, we're probably it.
posted by mikeh at 6:58 AM on May 2, 2006

I've been known to consult with the reeferend myself
posted by 1-2punch at 7:07 AM on May 2, 2006

The purpose of this website is to point out political and societal injustice...

Ok, so Shelly is not real (which is sort of obvious when you read the topmost post about the gay guy)

But what's the purpose of this?. Please tell me that is satire too?
posted by beno at 7:12 AM on May 2, 2006

The real author of the blog is probably German because of this grammatical mistake, commonly made by native German speakers:

He is very troubled by his homosexuality and is trying to overcome this urge for other men since several months now.

posted by scalefree at 7:27 AM on May 2, 2006

Presidential Prayer Team is not satire.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 7:32 AM on May 2, 2006

Is satire that attempts to fool people with regard to whether or not it is satire or sincere, still relevant or amusing in any way?

Landover Baptist was great, but the rest of this shit, not so much.
posted by psmealey at 7:36 AM on May 2, 2006

My plan is to:

1. Explain to him what a Gay lifestyle means and where it will lead to (Hell).
2. Get rid of his (quite gay) looking clothes.
3. Show him the correct way not to talk like a gay (you know, not as British).
4. Show him how not to walk gay.
5. Pray with him every day.
6. Introduce him to nice religious girls from the area.
7. Consult with the referend on a weekly basis to discuss his progress.
8. Bring his to denounce his homosexuality in front of the church congregation.
9. Baptize him as a new born heterosexual and welcome him to the community.
10. Let him marry a girl of his choice.


charming. really.
posted by Doorstop at 7:37 AM on May 2, 2006

On the street I used to live on there was grafitti that said "Jesus Saves from Hell" and someone had altered it to say "Jesus Saves from SHellEY" I had always wondered who Shelley could have been to warrant this grafitti defacement. Now I know.
posted by jessamyn at 7:41 AM on May 2, 2006

Hey, this blog introduced me to the word "Mosquewatch," which sounds enough like Sasquatch for me to finish this poem I've been working on.
posted by bachelor#3 at 7:42 AM on May 2, 2006

Mmm. I didn't mean to say anything about Maine, just my relatives who happen to live in Maine.

Too late. Field Marshall Dodge has been alerted.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:46 AM on May 2, 2006

Note to potential Encyclopedia Browns: I am indeed affiliated with the Field Marshall.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:50 AM on May 2, 2006

There's satire that plays it so close that it's hard to tell, but I'm amazed that anyone would mistake this for being possibly real. The only thing he could do to make it more obvious is to recommend eating children.
posted by Bugbread at 7:57 AM on May 2, 2006

I thought this was going to be a link explaining how Percy Bysshe Shelley was a Republican, and the thought was getting me riled up and ornery.
posted by nflorin at 7:57 AM on May 2, 2006

And I was thinking Mary Shelly! I thought it was going to be all about how Frankenstein is political allegory.
posted by mr_roboto at 7:59 AM on May 2, 2006

Man, I feel lame. My first thought was Shelley Duvall.
posted by Bugbread at 8:03 AM on May 2, 2006

Hmmm. This Field Marshall Dodge fellow doesn't seem to know how to read.
posted by jon_kill at 8:04 AM on May 2, 2006

Actually, the person(s) who "author(s)" this blog is purporting to be a she, not a he:

I just recently received a letter from my sister, Rebecca, which I have permission to publish here. She is a wife and mother (like I am myself) and she lives close to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, by the way the most Godly state in America.

posted by blucevalo at 8:05 AM on May 2, 2006

Quite amazing really.. The world is flat, man never made it to the moon, playing Dark Side of the Moon backward lets you listen to satans words and the pope doesn't wear underwear (I think I made the last one up). I can imagine that debating this person would be about as much fun as watching a bag of carrots rot.
From linux to homosexuality... lol
posted by pezdacanuck at 8:33 AM on May 2, 2006

If Firefox is godless then I'm terrified of what she thinks of us Mac users. Probably something along the lines of "godless heathens that worhsip that hellspawn Steve Jobs (who I suspect might be gay) who does nothing but provide evil, aesthetically pleasing, alternatives to Microsoft, the holiest of holys."

I hope this is satire.
posted by RobertFrost at 8:44 AM on May 2, 2006

And I was thinking Mary Shelly! I thought it was going to be all about how Frankenstein is political allegory.

The bizarre right-wing lunatic you're looking for there is one E. Michael Jones.

The talk he gave at my college freshman year, "I Will Be With You On Your Wedding Night: Frankenstein, Horror, and the Enlightenment's Sexual Agenda", was one of the (unintentionally) funniest things I've ever seen. Apart from his interpretation of Frankenstein, there was also his contrast between the beginning of the seventies, when Deep Throat was released, and the end of the seventies, when Alien was released, and oral sex "didn't seem so fun anymore".
posted by moss at 8:45 AM on May 2, 2006

Now I see how we'll defeat the Republicans: We'll ironize them to death. To the barricades!
posted by fungible at 9:21 AM on May 2, 2006

There's satire that plays it so close that it's hard to tell, but I'm amazed that anyone would mistake this for being possibly real.

Don't have much familiarity with Free Republic then, do you?
posted by madamjujujive at 9:23 AM on May 2, 2006

I've always been partial to the Landover Baptist Church for all my satire of insane right-wing fundamentalism, personally. Iron Hymen and Sex is for Fags are also wonderful, and I believe come from the same group (as Landover Baptist, not Shelley the Republican).
posted by OverlappingElvis at 9:36 AM on May 2, 2006

madamjujujive : "Don't have much familiarity with Free Republic then, do you?"

Nope, but I'm checking it out now, and it certainly reads very differently than Shelley the Republican. Is there a certain article or section I should check that makes Shelley seem less obviously satirical by comparison?
posted by Bugbread at 9:38 AM on May 2, 2006

There's satire that plays it so close that it's hard to tell, but I'm amazed that anyone would mistake this for being possibly real. The only thing he could do to make it more obvious is to recommend eating children.

You've obviously never listened to Sunday morning radio in the deep south. The site isn't as obviously over the top as you think it is.
posted by lordrunningclam at 9:47 AM on May 2, 2006

Is satire that attempts to fool people with regard to whether or not it is satire or sincere, still relevant or amusing in any way?

That's what we like to call post-irony.

You've obviously never listened to Sunday morning radio in the deep south.

e.g.
posted by youarenothere at 10:02 AM on May 2, 2006

lordrunningclam : "You've obviously never listened to Sunday morning radio in the deep south. The site isn't as obviously over the top as you think it is."

I'm from Texas. Ok, not deep south, but deep southwest. I'm not saying that it's too over the top to be real, I'm saying that the way it's over the top doesn't come off as being anything other than satire.

If it helps to conceptualize, there are some really bland newspapers out there. Superbland. But the Onion still sticks out as being satirical. Not because it's blander than everyone else, but in the way that it's bland.
posted by Bugbread at 10:03 AM on May 2, 2006 [1 favorite]

I have acquaintances that talk like Shelley all the time. That web site would fit very well within their worldview.
posted by darkstar at 10:05 AM on May 2, 2006

Not so over-the-top
posted by Citizen Premier at 10:07 AM on May 2, 2006

Citizen Premier : "Not so over-the-top "

Exactly. In a world where Jack Chick exists, it would be stupid to identify something as satire based on how extreme it is. Instead, satire is usually identified by how it goes about it's extremeness.
posted by Bugbread at 10:32 AM on May 2, 2006

Gah!!!

it's → its
posted by Bugbread at 10:33 AM on May 2, 2006

bugbread:

OK, Texas counts.

Look, when I was in college, I used to rush home so I could catch Jim and Tammy Faye's show. Not because I was a believer, but because I thought they were hands down the funniest thing on TV. When they got into trouble for overselling timeshare condos at their yet-to-be-built Jesusland amusement park, and they started to be parodied on other TV shows, the parodies were never as screwed-up or as funny as the originals.

I got the same kind of feeling from Shelley.
posted by lordrunningclam at 10:40 AM on May 2, 2006

There's a brand new post about Linux.

As for “bias”, I am not a “Microsoft Fan-boy” or any of the hundreds of more offensive things I have been called. I do however admit an admiration for the company that gave us the modern computer and invented both the Internet and the world-wide web. Where would we have been without Microsoft? Perhaps typing obscure Russian commands into a barely comprehensible command-prompt on a Chinese made computer.

This alcoholic has Linux installed on his laptop.

Free BSD is an older kind of Linux

After spending half an hour trying to decode the “man page”, we were able to install the latest version of Netscape Navigator, the new browser from Firefox.

There was no need to download a web-browser for Windows (Microsoft thoughtfully decided to integrate one with their operating system), so instead we downloaded a small shareware productivity utility called “BonziBuddy”.

There were no additional passwords to type in and as an additional courtesy to users, Windows installers often include extra programs that might be of interest.

The #linux channel, seemed to be a venue of immorality; I would not wish my wife or children to use this service. It appeared to be some sort of pick-up venue.

Linux is defficient in many more ways; For example it does not feature something called Digital Rights Management

I bet if that one had been up earlier, there'd be no argument.
posted by dhartung at 10:45 AM on May 2, 2006

Lordrunningclam,

I'm there with you. I used to like Benny Hinn and John Osteen (I think...the guy who would spout out random "speaking in tongues" during his shows...that's Osteen, right?), and it certainly wasn't out of faith.
posted by Bugbread at 11:00 AM on May 2, 2006

Unimpressive. It's easy to predict that after Saturday night's performance by the now-infamous Steven Colber(t), that faux-right-wing blogs will soon outnumber real right-wing blogs. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
posted by wendell at 11:10 AM on May 2, 2006

Oh, god! The linux post was fantastic! At first I didn't know whether to be mad or not, but by the end I couldn't stop laughing.

I especially enjoyed the microsoft certification used as "proof" where the name is deliberately obscured to an unreadable status while leaving the rest alone.

I don't care if it's real or not. It's one hell of a great laugh.
posted by mystyk at 12:25 PM on May 2, 2006

I thought this was going to be a link explaining how Percy Bysshe Shelley was a Republican, and the thought was getting me riled up and ornery.

But he was.

(The good kind, arrayed against imperialism and all that, like Byron and Beethoven.)
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 12:55 PM on May 2, 2006

I do however admit an admiration for the company (i.e., Microsoft) that gave us the modern computer and invented both the Internet and the world-wide web.

Fun-ny!
posted by Skygazer at 3:12 PM on May 2, 2006

What a brilliant parody! The Colbert Report would be proud.
posted by drmarcj at 5:53 PM on May 2, 2006