Join 3,572 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Get these mother f&$*in snakes off my movie theater!
August 22, 2006 2:28 PM   Subscribe

This was bound to happen.
posted by allkindsoftime (38 comments total)

 
Why was it bound to happen? Are you blaming the film?
posted by godawful at 2:31 PM on August 22, 2006


I, for one, am motherfucking tired of these motherfucking snake overlords.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:33 PM on August 22, 2006


Or.........

http://www.tmz.com/2006/08/22/mutha-fand-in-snakes-in-a-theater/

"Police arrived and found one eight-inch baby rattlesnake in the hallway, not in the actual theater. The police think the snake probably came from a construction area nearby. The rattler was corralled and turned over to the Arizona Herpetological Association -- or folks who like snakes.

Police tell TMZ that rattlesnake calls are not all that uncommon in the Phoenix area and reports that the snake was intentionally put in the theater during the movie are not true."
posted by Wizzlet at 2:35 PM on August 22, 2006


You think that's crazy, when I went to see Nacho Libre the theatre was selling nachos!
posted by brain_drain at 2:36 PM on August 22, 2006 [1 favorite]


This is obviously the work of anti-viral marketers trying to sabotage box office receipts thru terror.

You know, Pepsi Browns.
posted by First Post at 2:37 PM on August 22, 2006 [1 favorite]


Good thing they weren't showing "Grizzly Man."
posted by ColdChef at 2:39 PM on August 22, 2006 [3 favorites]


"You think that's crazy, when I went to see Nacho Libre the theatre was selling nachos!"

You should've been at the premiere of this movie.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:40 PM on August 22, 2006


Man, kudos to that Local6 station's website. They must have some serious SEO tricks 'cause I see them all the time on national news/Google and I can't understand why. A phoenix story and you're clicking on an Orlando web site. Bizarre.
posted by cavalier at 2:46 PM on August 22, 2006


What Smedleyman said. The MF snakes meme can go away annnnnytime now.
posted by Zinger at 2:56 PM on August 22, 2006


The movie bombed. It's over.
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:56 PM on August 22, 2006


The movie bombed. It's over.

I wouldn't call a 15 million dollar weekend a bomb. By traditional standards, perhaps, but that's 15 mil from people who know about bittorrent.

All in all, I'd say it's a good haul.
posted by davelog at 3:26 PM on August 22, 2006


Police tell TMZ that rattlesnake calls are not all that uncommon in the Phoenix area and reports that the snake was intentionally put in the theater during the movie are not true. - Wizzlet

In other words, nothing to see here, move along.
posted by raedyn at 3:39 PM on August 22, 2006


I wouldn't call a 15 million dollar weekend a bomb. By traditional standards, perhaps, but that's 15 mil from people who know about bittorrent.

All in all, I'd say it's a good haul.


It's about half of what the studio allowed itself to be caught hoping for in public, and that in the wake of the "blood from a turd" strategy of shutting out reviewers going into its opening night.

The model someone was clearly hoping would succeed -- turning it into a gatekeeper-skirting exercise in camp -- was not validated.

Analysts are echoing variations on "but there were so many fan sites!" and "audiences clearly hung back waiting to see if it was, you know, any good."

Somewhere in the bowels of some studio marketing department, someone went to bed Friday night hoping to be high-fiving Biff and Muffy Monday morning. What they got was a movie that appears to probably be on track to making back what it cost.

Since I'm guessing the OED doesn't really give us a hard dollar figure for "bomb," we're all left to debate what would constitute one. Maybe this isn't it, but I'm thinking we're still south of "good haul."

Either way: I, too, am looking forward to it slithering gentle into that good night. Or at least out of my interwebs.
posted by mph at 3:43 PM on August 22, 2006


I paid a woman to go see Whore with me.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 3:47 PM on August 22, 2006


Well, that seals it for me, I will wait for it to come out on DVD
posted by jacob hauser at 3:50 PM on August 22, 2006


Good thing they weren't showing "Grizzly Man."

Where do I send the keyboard invoice, my friend? This one is ruined.

All weekend I had people asking me if I'd seen SoaP yet. "Why in God's name do you think I would go see that?" I asked. The typical response was "Well, you're on the Internet and shit, I thought you guys all wanted to see it."

Sad, so sad.
posted by mkhall at 3:50 PM on August 22, 2006


"I would hate to be watching a movie about snakes and have a rattlesnake bite me."

But under other circumstances, it would be just fine?
posted by jack_mo at 3:56 PM on August 22, 2006


FarkFilter
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:16 PM on August 22, 2006


Well, I enjoyed motherfucking Snakes On a Plane, and now I can't get this song out of my brain! C'mon bring it!
posted by airgirl at 4:54 PM on August 22, 2006


It's hard for me to consider any film who rakes in more money than the other films a bomb or a loser, regardless of what the hopes were from their greedy little studio.

If there is a loser from last week's numbers, it's Hollywood in general who couldn't get people to the movies even with this light fare as an option.

That $15 mil is found $15 mil since no way should you be able to have the #1 movie in a week in the summer because of an f word, and a funny title. Yes, Snakes on a Plane had the best week ever.
posted by tsarfan at 4:59 PM on August 22, 2006


that's the theater i saw it in!

i tend to frequent that mall's eating and drinking (mostly drinking) establishments frequently, and have never seen or heard of a snake wandering over from the construction area.

personally, i thought the movie was enjoyable. not a good movie, but pretty much what i was hoping to get for my $7.
posted by scottymacten at 5:25 PM on August 22, 2006


It's been done.
posted by found dog one eye at 5:34 PM on August 22, 2006


That's why I'm waiting for the muthafuckin' DVD.
posted by AstroGuy at 5:36 PM on August 22, 2006


It's weird how the media doesn't seem to realize that having people like the idea of a film is nowhere near the same as having people like the film itself, or want to shell out real money to see it.
posted by nightchrome at 5:44 PM on August 22, 2006


airgirl I hear ya. It's quite catchy. I'm ready for it.
posted by dog food sugar at 5:44 PM on August 22, 2006


I hope that this guy really liked the movie, because he's stuck with it for life.
posted by clevershark at 5:48 PM on August 22, 2006


Good thing they weren't showing "Grizzly Man."

Yeah. Or "Jaws."
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:27 PM on August 22, 2006


Or Jurassic Park. Or King Kong. Or Aliens. Or Predator. Or 12 Monkeys...
posted by allkindsoftime at 6:37 PM on August 22, 2006


Plus it was an R rated movie. Everybody seems to forget that. Those rarely ever make big money in theaters these days, hence the glut of CGI talking animal movies for kids.

The more interesting question, I think, is: how well would the film have done without the internet hype and the funny title (which they almost didn't use). Not worth a damn, I bet.

Despite the negative spin, it still did very well for what it actually was. Did anyone really expect a $200 million weekend for SoaP, besides a few overzealous executive types?
posted by First Post at 6:57 PM on August 22, 2006


R rated movies do great at the box office, it's just that no one under 18 can buy tickets to the movie. I got the last tickets to The Bourne Conspiracy when I went to see Harold and Kumar.
posted by Citizen Premier at 7:03 PM on August 22, 2006


Also: Motherfucking snakes in a motherfucking theater while motherfucking people are watching a motherfucking movie about motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane! Motherfucking irony!
posted by Citizen Premier at 7:08 PM on August 22, 2006


Since I'm guessing the OED doesn't really give us a hard dollar figure for "bomb," we're all left to debate what would constitute one. Maybe this isn't it, but I'm thinking we're still south of "good haul."

Most of what I'm reading suggests that $15 mil opening weekend on a $35 mil movie is reasonably respectable. And after all, it's a genre cult film.

"Bomb" in my thinking means underperforming reasonable expectations (as opposed to hyped predictions.)

Either way: I, too, am looking forward to it slithering gentle into that good night. Or at least out of my interwebs.

Too bad the term "interwebs" won't.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 9:00 PM on August 22, 2006


I watched Talledega Nights and Snakes On A Plane back to back on the opening night of SOAP in New York -- and I'll tell ya what, Talledega Nights was a fantastic movie, and SOAP just sucked.

Plus, there were two guys with a young child at the showing, and the movie was scaring the crap out of the kid, but the two guys just kept right on sitting there watching it, just giving the kid a hug every so often while he white-knucked it (and occasionally gave one of the guys a desperate get-me-the-hell-out-of-here full body hug.)

Not that it has anything to do with anything, but I wanted to...well, nothing really. Too late at night to stay on topic.
posted by davejay at 10:46 PM on August 22, 2006


davejay, one of my favorite movie going memories came when I went to see the south park movie...and I saw all these kids in their with their dads (maybe an older brother here or there)...like, seriously, 5 or 6 kids, ranging from 5 - 10 years old.

About, oh, 5 minutes into it, when the 'uncle fucker' song came on, you could see the dads start panicing...most left pretty quickly. I laughed and laughed

I mean, it was an R rated south park movie....when will people learn that cartoons aren't always for kids?
posted by das_2099 at 5:14 AM on August 23, 2006


video is oh-so-awesome......
posted by ryran at 6:28 AM on August 23, 2006


I, for one, welcome our new reptile overlords. I'd like to remind them as a trusted internet personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
posted by analogue at 6:31 AM on August 23, 2006


All your snakes are belong to us. [YouTube] A double shark-jump!
posted by brain_drain at 9:50 AM on August 23, 2006


Or, it wasn't bound to happen. . .
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 11:25 AM on August 23, 2006


« Older We've discussed the omnipresent nature of Hello Ki...   |   Toribash is a turn-based fight... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments