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Take the U.S. citizenship test
September 22, 2006 1:04 PM Subscribe

Take the U.S. citizenship test
posted by PenguinBukkake (63 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

Officials select about a dozen questions from a list of 100 as part of an oral exam.
posted by PenguinBukkake at 1:05 PM on September 22, 2006

Take the U.S. citizenship test

(May as well go straight to the source, right?)
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:07 PM on September 22, 2006

Take special notice of question 13.
posted by empath at 1:09 PM on September 22, 2006

And question 4.
posted by 2sheets at 1:09 PM on September 22, 2006

Hmm. I've seen Lou Dobbs flunk question 13 before. Idiot.
posted by delmoi at 1:15 PM on September 22, 2006

What about #8?

I think some of the answers to these questions need to be rewritten in order to be based in reality rather than patriotic fantasy.

Of course it's just a dream.
posted by switchsonic at 1:18 PM on September 22, 2006

You ought to have to take this (kind of thing) before you can vote. Just pass it once, like the driver's test. One test, standardized, for the entire country or state.
posted by dilettante at 1:19 PM on September 22, 2006

yeah no kidding. some of those answers are pretty contentious.

You ought to have to take this (kind of thing) before you can vote. Just pass it once, like the driver's test. One test, standardized, for the entire country or state.

So you're saying stupid people shouldn't be allowed to vote? You elitest bastard!
posted by j-urb at 1:23 PM on September 22, 2006

63. What did the Emancipation Proclamation do?

63. The Emancipation Proclamation freed the slaves.

Well unless NPR was wrong this morning. It only freed the slaved in the rebel/confederate states.
posted by MrLint at 1:23 PM on September 22, 2006

I think I want elitest bastard as a sockpuppet account.
posted by dilettante at 1:24 PM on September 22, 2006

from the 100 sample questions linked to here:

93. What is the most important right granted to United States citizens?

A: The right to vote.
posted by saulgoodman at 1:27 PM on September 22, 2006

Some questions and answers are somewhat imprecise or oversimplified, and at one point it did attribute "all men are created equal" to the Declaration of Independence (it's actually the Preamble), but overall it's pretty damned basic stuff that everyone ought to know before they get to vote.
posted by dilettante at 1:27 PM on September 22, 2006

but overall it's pretty damned basic stuff that everyone ought to know before they get to vote.

How about requiring people who run to know it?
posted by saulgoodman at 1:28 PM on September 22, 2006 [1 favorite]

I got 7/15, but I'm Canadian. Who do I talk to about getting my cookie?
posted by patr1ck at 1:32 PM on September 22, 2006

So you're saying stupid people shouldn't be allowed to vote? You elitest bastard!

I'm guessing you are just having some fun, but I've often wondered if people who are uneducated on a subject should have the right to vote on it. (Of course this was just an intellectual exercise, everyone has the right to vote, I'm not advocating anything, yadda yadda yadda).

But really, how much better or worse would the country be for having a requirement that you must pass the citizenship test before you can make decisions about the direction of the government. Of course doing something like this would require a massive restructuring of the educational system to ensure that every citizen had the opportunity to learn these things, but assuming that was possible, how would the country be different?
posted by quin at 1:33 PM on September 22, 2006

How about requiring people who run to know it?

What optimism! Those are a special case and would require regular re-testing.
posted by dilettante at 1:34 PM on September 22, 2006

"Just say slavery."

"Service guarantees citizenship."

There, I think I win.
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 1:38 PM on September 22, 2006

Some questions and answers are somewhat imprecise or oversimplified, and at one point it did attribute "all men are created equal" to the Declaration of Independence (it's actually the Preamble)

It's in the Declaration of Independence. The Declaration has a clear logical structure, and "all men are created equal" is a premise of its argument.
posted by ubernostrum at 1:40 PM on September 22, 2006

Missed #2....but I was BORN here!

“Well unless NPR was wrong this morning. It only freed the slaved in the rebel/confederate states.”

Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and inter-

Proctor: Wait, wait... just say slavery.

Apu: Slavery it is, sir.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:44 PM on September 22, 2006

93. What is the most important right granted to United States citizens?

Rights are not granted by government, but rather "ordained by our creator". (i.e., Mom.)
posted by LordSludge at 1:48 PM on September 22, 2006 [1 favorite]

But really, how much better or worse would the country be for having a requirement that you must pass the citizenship test before you can make decisions about the direction of the government.

No, seriously, does anyone remember what happened when we had literacy tests as prerequisites to voting?

I have no love for the current administration, and think we might have a better one if fewer idiots voted, but I'm happier with idiots voting than with any test with a high potential for abuse being put in place.

It is not a way to make sure only smart enough people vote. It is a way to get out of educating those whom your policies have screwed.
posted by Jeanne at 1:49 PM on September 22, 2006

Apu: Slavery it is, sir.

Reminds of a question I was once asked in highschool: "Who discovered America?"

My answer? I was paralyzed. "That's a subject of on-going debate."

Correct answer: Christopher Columbus, of course.
posted by saulgoodman at 1:49 PM on September 22, 2006

No, seriously, does anyone remember what happened when we had literacy tests as prerequisites to voting?

And I'm serious: Let's make people who run for office prove their stuff before they can run.
posted by saulgoodman at 1:51 PM on September 22, 2006

One of the random questions in the online multiple-choice test:

What is the national anthem of the United States?
The Declaration of Independence
The Statue of Liberty
The Star-Spangled Banner
Born in the U.S.A.

Francis Scott Key, aka "Bruce Springsteen."
posted by justkevin at 1:52 PM on September 22, 2006

This test obviously has a liberal bias, just look at question 12.
posted by matkline at 1:54 PM on September 22, 2006

Another U.S. Citizenship Test (previously on MeFi).
posted by ericb at 1:54 PM on September 22, 2006

My dad passed this. He's brilliant though. I wonder how many white, upper middle class HS seniors would pass? Not tryin' to slag whiteys, but hey, Fuck You Whitey!
posted by Mister_A at 1:55 PM on September 22, 2006 [1 favorite]

I couldn't pass this test, only got 6 right, but I really have to wonder: Though this test proves that you have more knowledge of U.S. history than the average U.S. citizen, how useful is this information to a person in U.S. society?

Wouldn't it be more practical to ask them questions more relevant to more modern matters? Like, which side of the road do we drive on?
posted by Durhey at 2:02 PM on September 22, 2006

ubernostrum: oops and goddamnit. You're right, and I'm having fits of stupidity.
posted by dilettante at 2:13 PM on September 22, 2006

Wouldn't it be more practical to ask them questions more relevant to more modern matters? Like, which side of the road do we drive on?

.
posted by saulgoodman at 2:13 PM on September 22, 2006

I'd like to see the revised edition featuring the greatest hits of the current Administration.
posted by anthill at 2:15 PM on September 22, 2006

Though this test proves that you have more knowledge of U.S. history than the average U.S. citizen, how useful is this information to a person in U.S. society?

This leads to this:

posted by saulgoodman at 2:22 PM on September 22, 2006

4. Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death?"

Terrorist sympathizers.

6. Who becomes President of the United States if the president and the vice-president should die?

Someone in the shadow government.

8. Who has the power to declare war?

The President. No, seriously, just him. I would advise you to keep your objections to yourself, citizen.

9. Which countries were our enemies during World War II?

Pre-9/11: Axis powers.
Post-9/11: France.

11. What are the first 10 amendments to the Constitution called?

The ACLJew's Guidelines for Sedition.

12. Name one purpose of the United Nations.

Scapegoat.

13. Whose rights are guaranteed by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights?

White male landowning citizens, soccer moms.

14. For how long do we elect each senator?

Until death or indictment.

15. Name a right guaranteed by the First Amendment.

Praising the executive.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 2:25 PM on September 22, 2006 [7 favorites]

"Service guarantees citizenship."

Would you like to know more?
posted by brundlefly at 2:29 PM on September 22, 2006

Maybe instead of making people take and pass this test before they vote, they should have to pass it to graduate from high school.

At least then you know they were taught the basics.
posted by ruwan at 2:51 PM on September 22, 2006

Optimus Chyme, that was a veritable lolocaust.
posted by bardic at 2:56 PM on September 22, 2006

OK kids, go back to 10th grade and take a history test, or any class really. I bet we do worse than we'd like to admit.
posted by tomplus2 at 3:17 PM on September 22, 2006

You ought to have to take this (kind of thing) before you can vote. Just pass it once, like the driver's test. One test, standardized, for the entire country or state.

Good idea or not, (note: it's not) this will never happen, so you might as well save your breath and read up on the history of Jim Crow. A straight memorization test will not lead to cultural change. Your best chance at creating good citizenship has to start in early education. When was the last time that, "But the constitution says dadadada...," ever changed a person's mind about a basic issue of American liberty?
posted by Skwirl at 3:21 PM on September 22, 2006

Why didn't you just link to the official do-it-yourself practice test? Or this one-at-a-time version?

The twelve in the article are not all the same as the official ones (pdf).

some

group

or freedom

The twelve selected are, according to the article, "some of the tougher questions"; I'd call them the toughest. Also in the mix are ones like "What are the colors of our flag?", "Name one benefit of being a citizen of the United States," and "Can the Constitution be changed?"

They have (for free download, for $9 preprinted, or for printing costs at your local library) the flashcards, and they also provide giant study guides.

I'm not sure (but I would like to know) how many questions they give you on the test, and how many of those you have to answer correctly.

Female lower-middle whitey from conservative rural area got eleven of those twelve (all but the House of Reps number).

posted by booksandlibretti at 3:23 PM on September 22, 2006

*It*
Hehe.
posted by bardic at 3:28 PM on September 22, 2006

No, seriously, does anyone remember what happened when we had literacy tests as prerequisites to voting?

Yes. They're illegal for a reason.
posted by Ndwright at 3:36 PM on September 22, 2006

“Not tryin' to slag whiteys, but hey, Fuck You Whitey!”

No shit. I’m totally the establishment. I’m gonna really stick it to the man and trash my riding lawnmower when I get home. That’ll show me. I’d like to see what I think I’m going to do to me when I find out. Yeah - if I’ve got the balls.
posted by Smedleyman at 3:39 PM on September 22, 2006 [1 favorite]

I took the test for my citizenship in the Spring of 2005. I was given 10 out of the sample questions and was told to answer them as fast as possible, with the immigration official basically standing over my shoulder the entire time, checking his watch as I wrote in longhand. I think they did it that way to test the reading/writing of English requirement at the same time.

I don't remember which questions I got exactly, but they were pretty easy - with the exception of one I didn't see on the list linked above, which required me to name the head of my local government body (in my case the Chair of the local County Board). I got 10/10, which was a big relief at the time. I'm glad to see that I retained the knowledge too! ;)
posted by gemmy at 3:49 PM on September 22, 2006

Just be glad they didn't ask about Hawley-Smoot.
posted by bardic at 4:03 PM on September 22, 2006

Wouldn't it be more practical to ask them questions more relevant to more modern matters? Like, which side of the road do we drive on?
posted by Durhey at 5:02 PM EST on September 22

If you're eligible for the citizenship test, you already live here. It doesn't determine whether or not you get to stay, it determines whether or not you get to vote and serve on juries and run for office.
posted by joannemerriam at 4:32 PM on September 22, 2006

Wouldn't it be more practical to ask them questions more relevant to more modern matters? Like, which side of the road do we drive on?

Or what are the best search terms to use to get really good porn?
posted by Pacheco at 4:39 PM on September 22, 2006

Americans don't have porn. We have Freedom Fucking.
posted by bardic at 4:43 PM on September 22, 2006 [1 favorite]

Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death?"

Andy Kaufman?
posted by movilla at 5:20 PM on September 22, 2006

So you're saying stupid people shouldn't be allowed to vote? You elitest bastard!

I find this irony delicious. Does that make me elitist?
posted by chrisamiller at 5:37 PM on September 22, 2006

Actually I think 10th graders taking a US history class would do better at this than most adults. All that quaint bullshit some moron tried to get through your thick skull about bicameral checks-and-balances yadda yadda? If fucking matters more than ever, or at least it used to until Congress bent over and spread its cheeks for Karl Rove.
posted by bardic

I've been trying to remember just what years of my schooling the pdf list of questions would encompass. I think I was taught about these topics in every grade, K-12.

I would say, Now that Congress bent over and spread its cheeks for Karl Rove it fucking matters more than ever.
posted by taosbat at 5:41 PM on September 22, 2006

You ought to have to take this (kind of thing) before you can vote. Just pass it once, like the driver's test. One test, standardized, for the entire country or state.
Good idea or not, (note: it's not) this will never happen, so you might as well save your breath and read up on the history of Jim Crow.
Yeah, it's rather ironic that someone complaining about the historical knowledge of the average voter would suggest something like this, and at least not come up with a response to the "Jim Crow" argument.

Although to be honest I think it would be a good idea if only intelligent people could vote, I don't think these questions would do a good job of measuring intelligence.

Actually just measuring how much people are actually paying attention to the issues would be a huge benefit. I can't imagine how you could test for that without controversy, though.
posted by delmoi at 5:57 PM on September 22, 2006

My dad took this a year ago, after living in the US for almost fifty years. He said it was pretty easy.
posted by the_bone at 6:18 PM on September 22, 2006

Metafilter: a veritable lolocaust.
posted by MythMaker at 6:55 PM on September 22, 2006

"Wouldn't it be more practical to ask them questions more relevant to more modern matters? Like, which side of the road do we drive on?"

Who won that speed eating contest between that Japanese guy and the bear?

How many channels should a basic cable package have to be worth $35 per month?

Why are Fords better than Toyotas?

What's that senator's name that, like, also means something gross?

Have you ever seen a fruited plain?

Did you see Saturday's game?

Do you even know anyone who still bothers to vote?

Does this thing go any faster?

Paper or plastic?
posted by klangklangston at 7:00 PM on September 22, 2006 [1 favorite]

I got all of them right (except ferchrissakes the term length of a member of Congress.) Why? Because I teach middle school, and that's the level of the questions. These are the questions kids know the answers to, but adults don't.

Exactly, I couldn't tell you the 13 original colonies off the top of my head, but I've read Tuchmans The March of Folly and Lawrence James The Rise and fall of the British Empire so I could go on and on about the revolutionary war and the founding of the country.
posted by delmoi at 8:33 PM on September 22, 2006

Mister_A : "Not tryin' to slag whiteys, but hey, Fuck You Whitey!"

Ha! A fair jest my fellow non-white, non-American-middle-class Mefite! Good show, and as a sign of solidarity: Black Power!

I took the test and got every question right...

Except the “Original Thirteen Colonies Question.” But, is Delaware really that important? And what kind of state name is “Of the aware,” anyway?
posted by Colloquial Collision at 8:34 PM on September 22, 2006

I don't know if making citizens pass this as a precondition to voting or graduating HS would have much of an effect on the their understanding of American politics or gov't. I totally see people memorizing it parrot fashion and not really giving it much thought beyond that. Yeah, I learned not to overestimate the general public's knowledge/intelligence/common sense after the last election. You have to figure half the population scores below 100 on the standard IQ test.
posted by Devils Slide at 9:40 PM on September 22, 2006

Colloquial— That was the only question I missed too, though I substituted South Carolina for New Jersey...
posted by klangklangston at 6:17 AM on September 23, 2006

I missed the year of the Constitution (thought 1783 instead of 1787) and I switched VT for NH in the original 13 states.

Overall, I don't consider those 12 question all that hard, and I would expect that anyone running for office should be able to get at least 8 correct. Sadly, though, I doubt if even half the house of reps could pass.
Maybe 2/3s of the senate could.
posted by bashos_frog at 6:27 AM on September 23, 2006

Okay so I am a nerd. I knew all of the answers. Why? I read endlessly.
posted by bjgeiger at 7:19 AM on September 23, 2006

Maciej Cegłowski:

If you've gone through the long process of acquiring American citizenship, you've had to sign an affidavit that you are not a Communist or sympathizer, you've promised under penalty of perjury that you will not indulge in drunkenness or immoral behavior while in the United States, you've sworn an oath of allegiance to the country, you've promised to join the military if directed to do so, you've abstained from marijuana, polygamy, illegal gambling, prostitution, and moral turpitude, you've demonstrated to an examiner that you can speak and write basic English, and you've passed a basic test on American history, government, and law. In other words, you've demonstrated a readiness to vote far beyond the one criterion required of native-born American voters - a pulse.

His point isn't that US-born Americans should jump through those hoops, but that introducing further criteria to inhibit the ability of naturalized citizens to vote (such as English-only ballots) is nativist ignorance, pure and simple.
posted by holgate at 3:59 AM on September 24, 2006

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