It's not whether he wins or loses—it's how he derails the game

October 6, 2006 11:07 AM

Hooray for Kinky Friedman -- Friedman isn't going to solve Texas' problems, but neither is any other politician. The whole premise of his campaign is to mock the process—as his slogan goes, "How hard can it be?"
posted by ZenMasterThis (93 comments total)

he plays alt-country music

I love Kinky, but that's heresy.
posted by jonmc at 11:12 AM on October 6, 2006

Yay for mocking the process! And Katrina victims! Those silly crackheaded thugs!
posted by basicchannel at 11:15 AM on October 6, 2006

Fuck Kinky Friedman. Here's the sort of man you're celebrating.

Then I come down to Houston , I went to a bowling alley. I couldn't go bowling, there were no bowling balls. The people here throw 'em all in the sea, thought they were nigger eggs…thought they were nigger eggs.

Yeah, Horray for Yet Another Texas Asshole.
posted by eriko at 11:19 AM on October 6, 2006

Hooray for reading the article, eriko. And anybody with half a brain and without a need to be reflexively indignant can see that 'racists,' are the target of that joke.

But we're impressed with how indignant you are. Really.
posted by jonmc at 11:23 AM on October 6, 2006

As funny and as interesting as his friend, Don Imus.
posted by wfc123 at 11:25 AM on October 6, 2006

Perhaps he'll win and go on to become president, like that truly shitty looking Robin Williams film that's being pushed at us at the moment.
posted by Artw at 11:25 AM on October 6, 2006

Gotta love his approach to sexual predators: "Throw them in prison and throw away the key and make them listen to a Negro talking to himself."
posted by gum at 11:27 AM on October 6, 2006

I'm voting for Kinky. Got a sign in my front yard.

he plays alt-country music

I love Kinky, but that's heresy.
posted by jonmc at 1:12 PM CST on October 6

No its not. Here in Texas its heresy to be Nashville country. "Alt-country" is used (at least in my experience) to be a shorthand for Texas Country or anything other than Nashville country (which is now basically pop).

It's the old Outlaw Country of Willie.

Yeah, Horray for Yet Another Texas Asshole.
posted by eriko at 1:19 PM CST on October 6

Hooray for another moron who rants about Texas/Texans without understanding them or what they are saying! Prejudice is so enlightened when you don't bother understanding the person you are bitching about.
posted by dios at 11:27 AM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

The make-believe president Robin Wlliams...the real president still out there acting.
posted by Postroad at 11:28 AM on October 6, 2006

Hahaha! No way, eriko's right - not only does he hate black people, but have you heard what he wants to do to Redneck Mothers?!?!
posted by freebird at 11:28 AM on October 6, 2006

That was unneccessarily harsh, eriko, I'm sorry. But a man who refers to his own band as "The Texas Jewboys," who's done songs like this, I think you can safely assume he's being satirical.

The guys actual record on policy and what he'd do as governor speaks more than verbal gaffes, so maybe we could holster our knee-jerks for once.
posted by jonmc at 11:29 AM on October 6, 2006

dios: I'm saying that Kinky himself would consider 'alt.country' a silly-ass marketing term (as do I). he's a country singer, period.
posted by jonmc at 11:30 AM on October 6, 2006

dios: I'm saying that Kinky himself would consider 'alt.country' a silly-ass marketing term (as do I). he's a country singer, period.
posted by jonmc at 1:30 PM CST on October 6

Gotcha. I should have known that since you are a music fan. I agree.

That was unneccessarily harsh, eriko,
posted by jonmc at 1:29 PM CST on October 6

It was not harsh at all. It was well deserved.

Read the full quote in context instead of the part eriko pulled to make his point:

The alleged smoking gun is something he said in a stand-up routine in 1980:

Then I come down to Houston, I went to a bowling alley. I couldn't go bowling, there were no bowling balls. The people here throw 'em all in the sea—they thought they were nigger eggs.

Now, it doesn't take sophisticated reading comprehension skills to understand that racists are the target, not the audience, of that joke.

Your comment was dead on jonmc.
posted by dios at 11:34 AM on October 6, 2006

It was not harsh at all. It was well deserved.

No, it wasn't. It's dumb to counter a dumb statement with a harsh verbal slap. It's self-defeating. Plus eriko's been a decent guy in other contexts, so I rephrased.
posted by jonmc at 11:36 AM on October 6, 2006

"Friedman isn't going to solve Texas' problems, but neither is any other politician." What a fantastic attitude. And I thought I was cynical.
posted by blucevalo at 11:37 AM on October 6, 2006

Well, after just getting finished reading the repulsive behavior in the Frisco teacher thread, my patience for the dismissive sneer of the enlightened sophisticates is significantly diminished.
posted by dios at 11:41 AM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

He may not solve all the problems, but his election would contribute to the solution of the biggest one: heads of government beholden to corporate America.
posted by iconjack at 11:43 AM on October 6, 2006

And then there's this guy -- Kenny the Clown who is running for mayor of Alameda , CA.
posted by ericb at 11:48 AM on October 6, 2006

I've read all his books - Kinky is hilarious. If he wins he might at least bring the reputation of Texas back up a little. Or at least make for some fun and interesting headlines. :D
posted by denimflavored at 11:48 AM on October 6, 2006

I would love to have Kinky as the governor. If California can have Arnold, and Minnesota had Jesse, then why not?

Texas law restricts the powers of the governor to little more than head cheerleader. Which is by Bush was succesful at the job. The governor's power is not in what happens in the leg, but in the bully pulpit or in what can be done adminstratively with appointments, etc. Will Kinky legalize dope and gambling? Nope. Will he be able to outlaw declawing cats? Not likely.

My fear is Kinky will siphon off some of Bell's vote which will give Rick "The Hair" Perry the election. And Texas will get four more years of the same shit. Which is like we had since Bush was in office.
posted by birdherder at 11:50 AM on October 6, 2006

He may not solve all the problems, but his election would contribute to the solution of the biggest one: heads of government beholden to corporate America.

The biggest problem is the capture of American government by right-wing Republican thugs. Kinky Friedman is pulling votes from the Democratic candidate and throwing the election to incumbent Governor Perry, who was complicit in the Texas redistricting scheme that added five more Republican gerrymandered seats to Congress.

A vote for Friedman is a vote for Perry.
posted by gum at 11:53 AM on October 6, 2006

I wear my Vote Kinky! on my back, actually.
posted by jonmc at 11:57 AM on October 6, 2006

The joke's over.
Go home now Kinky and let's make sure Perry is booted.

Yes, Kinky is over the line with the "sarcasm" and that makes him racist. But I still like his music.
posted by nofundy at 11:57 AM on October 6, 2006

It's not whether he wins or loses—it's how he derails the game... The more credible criticism of Friedman is that he doesn't know a thing about public policy and doesn't have anything to offer but wisecracks.

A celebrity running on a platform of making things worse for his constituency doesn't sound too appealing, but perhaps the state could have a referendum on democracy and just do away with the antiquated notion altogether.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:57 AM on October 6, 2006

dios, yes, we're totally wrong to mock Texas.
posted by Artw at 11:57 AM on October 6, 2006

I'm surprised that no one has yet to mention how he'd effectively stopped Strayhorn supporters by by intercepting people that were coming to sign her nomination petition.

Yeah, way to stick it to grandma there, Friedman.

I'm all for throwing a wrench into the doings of stuffed shirts, but at the same time I'm none too willing to becoming a participant in having Texas portrayed in an even more farcical light than we've already been cast.
posted by owenkun at 11:59 AM on October 6, 2006

Become, not becoming. Apologies.
posted by owenkun at 12:00 PM on October 6, 2006

Yes, Kinky is over the line with the "sarcasm" and that makes him racist.

I respectfully disagree. At worst, it's a verbal gaffe. At best, it's sharp satire. And it's actions that make a racist, not verbal gaffes. I'm not picking on you or anyone else, but is the situation in black America made any better, or are anyone's feelings even spared by getting indignant about that joke? I don't think so. It only furthers the (false) image of the American Left as reflexively offended church ladies.

(also, straw poll of my multiracial office found the joke funny and got who the target was. and the 'shock' response to stuff like this is disingenous, pretty much everybody I know of every race, gender, and persuasion have heard, laughed at or told jokes that make that look like something out of Highlights For Children)
posted by jonmc at 12:03 PM on October 6, 2006

Texas: Making New Jersey look good since 1994.
posted by Mister_A at 12:06 PM on October 6, 2006

On the big issues, Dems and Repubs are about the same. By big issues, I mean the drug war, big corporate money's influence, the Patriot Act and its ilk, Iraq war. Your issues may vary.
posted by iconjack at 12:10 PM on October 6, 2006

If California can have Arnold, and Minnesota had Jesse, then why not?

Because Kinky wasn't in Predator, that's why.
posted by thatwhichfalls at 12:10 PM on October 6, 2006

jonmc : "And it's actions that make a racist"

Actually, I think it's in holding racist beliefs. Actions may correlate heavily, but they aren't equivalent. (If a guy points a gun at my head and says "Shout 'I hate all niggers!' or I'll kill you!", and I shout "I hate all niggers!", then I've done a racist action, but I'm not a racist). Conversely, you can be a racist and hide it: avoiding racist actions doesn't necessarily mean that you don't hold racist beliefs.
posted by Bugbread at 12:11 PM on October 6, 2006

It probably isn't that hard to be govenor, but it probably is really hard to be a good govenor. I ♥ Kinky as much as anyone else, but really, what's wrong with a committed nerdocracy? Do we really need quote-unquote entertainers to make politics interesting? Can't we just get an educated electorate to pick someone who actually values civics? I would much prefer voters who give a shit than country music stars who don't even pretend to.
posted by DenOfSizer at 12:11 PM on October 6, 2006

In other years, I might favor his candidacy, just like I'm glad that Leslie continues to run for mayor of Austin. This year, both Bell and Strayhorn are legitimate contenders and the presence of Kinky in the race really does make a difference. A Kinky candidacy is not in any sense more important than preventing another Perry term. Period.

I think that there's much more to this argument, like his policy ability, the nature of vanity campaigns, the stoppage effect it's having on Bell's ability to raise money, why it makes any sense to run as an independent instead of a party primary, etc. But I don't think the detail's necessary.

What it comes down to is that this is a potential Nader 2000 scenario and it's simply neither the time nor the place.
posted by spiderwire at 12:11 PM on October 6, 2006

Actually, I think it's in holding racist beliefs.

Which we all hold to one degree or another (even if it's just stray involuntary thoughts). But, I was basically trying to point out that one verbal gaffe does not a bigot make.
posted by jonmc at 12:13 PM on October 6, 2006

I would much prefer voters who give a shit than country music stars who don't even pretend to.

Why? It's people religiously devoted to various political ideologies and party affiliations that make politics the nest of snakes that it is.
posted by jonmc at 12:17 PM on October 6, 2006

I'm just glad Sinbad isn't running. I'll never forgive him for pointing out how white peole drive like "DootDooDootDooDoo!", while black people drive like: "BoomDaDittyDittyBoom!"
posted by RavinDave at 12:23 PM on October 6, 2006

Well, after just getting finished reading the repulsive behavior in the Frisco teacher thread, my patience for the dismissive sneer of the enlightened sophisticates is significantly diminished.

Bravo! I too find my tolerance for the derisive disdain of the erudite elitists conspicuously curtailed by the aforementioned behavior.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 12:23 PM on October 6, 2006 [3 favorites]

waka waka waka
posted by jonmc at 12:25 PM on October 6, 2006

macaca
posted by Armitage Shanks at 12:26 PM on October 6, 2006

But, I was basically trying to point out that one verbal gaffe does not a bigot make.

Which is true. But how many times have you worked with Mr. Freidman? In my case, it was close to a dozen. At first, I thought it was satire. After a while, I thought it was an act -- I mean, "They don't make Jews like Jesus Anymore" is still fucking brilliant.

But when it comes to blacks, there's an edge there that isn't present elsewhere, and watching him over the years, you start to realize that yes, he's pretty much a racist and an asshole. He's a funny asshole, but one none the less, and he doesn't deserve to be governor, and he's helping to keep a real prick in the office. This is evil, wrong, and well deserves the term Asshole.

As to the Yet Another Texas Asshole line? Taught to me by a guy named Conrad Diesler, who I think is rather qualified to make such a judgement.

Alt-Country? Whatever that means. Worked Twangfest for the first five years of its existence, until for various reasons (what?) I had to leave (huh? what?) the music and club life (huh?)
posted by eriko at 12:29 PM on October 6, 2006

...as his his slogan goes, "How hard can it be?"

Wasn't that Mark Foley's slogan too?
posted by spilon at 12:30 PM on October 6, 2006 [2 favorites]

My fear is Kinky will siphon off some of Bell's vote which will give Rick "The Hair" Perry the election. And Texas will get four more years of the same shit. Which is like we had since Bush was in office.
posted by birdherder at 1:50 PM CST on October 6 [+] [!]

Well, if you continue to vote for the "lesser of two evils" and not for the candidate you truly want to win, we'll continue to have nothing more than Pepsi and Coke to choose from. Vote your conscience.
posted by disgustipated at 12:32 PM on October 6, 2006

I'm voting for Kinky. Happily.
posted by Peter H at 12:32 PM on October 6, 2006

But when it comes to blacks, there's an edge there that isn't present elsewhere, and watching him over the years, you start to realize that yes, he's pretty much a racist and an asshole

I've only met the man once (and long admired his work), so I'll take your word for it, I guess. I always fiured it was 'let's see how many people I can offend with this?" humor a la Mel Brooks, Richard Pryor, Al Goldstein, Howard Stern etc. which can be refreshingly frank these days.
posted by jonmc at 12:33 PM on October 6, 2006

I didn't personally find the "nigger eggs" joke too offensive. He was obviously making fun of hustonites for being stupid and racist (still not a good position for a Texas gubernatorial candidate).

Still, his comments about the "Thug and Crackhead" Katrina victims still in Huston. and more importantly his apparently insane ideas about immigration control worry me.

It certainly doesn't help matters that he considers himself a "friend" of George W. Bush and a supporter of his polices. That's the real deal breaker for me.

Does anyone know what the context of his "Negro talking to himself" comment was. The video I saw, linked from dailykos, was cut just about as short as possible. What is his explanation of the statement?
posted by delmoi at 12:37 PM on October 6, 2006

Kinky also still supports Sen George "Macacawitz" Allen and supports school prayer.
posted by delmoi at 12:39 PM on October 6, 2006

dios: come out of that third-world hellhole and see the real America for once. Texas sucks balls.
posted by delmoi at 12:43 PM on October 6, 2006

but, the stars at night are big and bright...
posted by jonmc at 12:45 PM on October 6, 2006

but, the stars at night are big and bright...

Not in any of the big cities. Light pollution is as bad there as anywhere. Plus plenty of smog and ozone advisories.
posted by delmoi at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2006

Is there beer in Texas? And Clamato?
posted by Mister_A at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2006

Maybe, they should move to Oklahoma, where I'm told the wind comes sweepin' down the plain ...
posted by jonmc at 12:50 PM on October 6, 2006

And the corn is as high as an elephant's eye!
posted by COBRA! at 12:54 PM on October 6, 2006

I've soured on the Kinkster, myself, though it's got nothing to do with his alleged racism (of which the evidence so far is pretty unconvincing). I do think he has the potential to act as a spoiler for the dems, however, and I don't particularly cotton to the thought of another four years of Governor Good Hair.

Now, Willie Nelson -- there's a man I'd vote for in a heartbeat.
posted by gigawhat? at 12:55 PM on October 6, 2006

What eriko said.

Kinky has a long history of racist remarks, it's not just one "joke."

And to think it took someone else to go to Texas and sing "Throw the Jew Down the Well" relegates Kinky to history. :-)

Ray Wiley Hubbard may have been racist too for all I know, but he didn't run for office.

Like I said, the joke is over so move along Kinky and don't make things worse for Texas just because you can.
posted by nofundy at 12:58 PM on October 6, 2006

baja oklahoma

ain't everything bigger [like the wanks]

why cowboys wear tennis shoes? so people won't think they're truck drivers
posted by nofundy at 1:00 PM on October 6, 2006

Horray for Yet Another Texas Asshole

an asshole from el paso?
posted by snofoam at 1:03 PM on October 6, 2006

I do think he has the potential to act as a spoiler for the dems, however

Anyone who says this hasn't really looked into Kinky's platform at all. A politically-aware Dem wouldn't vote for him - he's socially moderate and economically conservative! He's practically libertarian! If anything, he's pulling the left side of the Republican Party away from Perry. (All the Kinky supporters I know are old-school Republicans - 2nd amendment, small government folks, who are pretty tired of "neo-conservativism")

The dems don't need a spoiler. They're doing fine on their own.
posted by muddgirl at 1:09 PM on October 6, 2006

an asshole from el paso?

you want they should run a wacko from Waco? a viper from Vidor? someone ditzy from Corpus Christi? a guy with pecadilloes from good ol' Amarillo? the party machine from Abilene? a stupid coño from San Antonio? an afterbirth from Ft. Worth? a chinga tu madre from South Padre?

*passes out*
posted by jonmc at 1:10 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

Ray Wiley Hubbard may have been racist too for all I know, but he didn't run for office.

What's with the past tense? RWH isn't dead. If he is, I better not waste my time going to see him tonight at the White Elephant Saloon.

Now, Willie Nelson -- there's a man I'd vote for in a heartbeat.
posted by gigawhat? at 2:55 PM CST on October 6

You would? Willie would be doing the same thing as Kinky as far as "making it more likely that Perry might win." But you would vote for Willie?

I can't stand either party, so I am super excited to have an independent candidate to vote for whose views I can support. I wouldn't vote for any of the other candidates, so I'm not about to withhold my principles in voting because people don't want a spoiler candidate.

He's for gay marriage, school prayer, alternative energy, border control, lower taxes, lower spending, and higher teacher salaries.

That is a populist agenda that I suspect most people support. But don't vote for the guy because he might be a spoiler in the D v. R battle?
posted by dios at 1:14 PM on October 6, 2006

And voting in a clown worked so well for the state the last time they did it.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:16 PM on October 6, 2006

And to think it took someone else to go to Texas and sing "Throw the Jew Down the Well"

Actually, that was done in Tucson, Arizona.
posted by sklero at 1:19 PM on October 6, 2006

jonmc wins! Afterbirth from Ft. Worth is my new band name.

(irrelevant anecdote!) I've been drinking with Kinky (well he'd started before he got there) and he's pretty much a funny but kinda creepy drunk, who stares at boobs and called me "Darlene" (not my name!).

Anyway..he probably is a bit racist, which would sadly put him smack in the mainstream with most white Texans. But he probably isn't as bad as The Hair in terms of regular old intolerance. At least he made this election interesting...and I'm not sure Bell ever had a chance. The Dems have run the most pitiful candidates for governor for the past few cycles. No Ann Richardses to be found.
posted by emjaybee at 2:08 PM on October 6, 2006

What wfc123 said. If he's some edgy anti-politician I don't see the humor. Nor the talent. Dropping n-bombs certainly doesn't help.
posted by bardic at 2:28 PM on October 6, 2006

Texas is awesome!
posted by BeerFilter at 2:32 PM on October 6, 2006

I used to think Kinky was an interesting character. Then I saw a comment he made that said basically "the people opposing Lieberman are anti-semites", and he wasn't joking. I can't find that quote, but here is one I could find. Scarborough Country

And all the—the way I see Lieberman, he‘s very—he‘s pro-America, unashamedly, and he‘s pro-Israel. And these liberals are not.

posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 2:37 PM on October 6, 2006

I think a lot of libs were amused and/or excited by Kinky's run at first until they realized that much of what he says isn't an act. Even if he's not a racist, he certainly has some 18th century views on certain issues.
posted by bardic at 2:41 PM on October 6, 2006

If California can have Arnold, and Minnesota had Jesse, then why not?
That's the reason for my long-time dream of seeing Carl Weathers run for governor. He was in Predator, and he doesn't need a fancy ad campaign, he just needs this picture. He'd win 100% of the vote.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:15 PM on October 6, 2006 [1 favorite]

Because Kinky wasn't in Predator, that's why.


Thank you thatwhichfalls, I've been making this point for ages, but no one seems to be listening. The time has come. The nation is ready.

We need Carl Weathers in office.
posted by quin at 4:27 PM on October 6, 2006

Danny Glover seems like a mensch. I know it was Predator 2 and all, but still -- I'd vote for him.
posted by bardic at 4:46 PM on October 6, 2006

Well, I'm listening to the debate amongst the four candidates, and now I'm 100% sure Kinky will get my vote.
posted by iconjack at 5:22 PM on October 6, 2006

iconjack: do you have a link?
posted by delmoi at 8:05 PM on October 6, 2006

Really? I thought he came off as somewhat a) stoned and b) pendandtic and uninformed. Like Carol Strayham.
posted by muddgirl at 8:11 PM on October 6, 2006

The debates made me decide to vote for Bell.
posted by dog food sugar at 8:15 PM on October 6, 2006

Texas: Making New Jersey look good since 1994.

coming from someone that has lived in both states, nothing will ever make New Jersey look good. besides i LOVE texas.


as far as kinky goes, i would rather take him than Perry but only because it would be more interesting. As already stated the Texas governor doesnt have much real power. a friend of mines family has been close friends with him for decades and she has alot of interesting things to say about him, as a supporter, but one thing is for sure, he is a closet racist.
posted by trishthedish at 8:17 PM on October 6, 2006

Sorry delmoi, I don't have a link to the debates. I was listening on "real" radio.
posted by iconjack at 9:18 PM on October 6, 2006

It honestly doesn't matter who becomes the next Governor of Texas. Whoever wins this shithole of a race, all Texans lose.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:09 PM on October 6, 2006

The debates made me decide to vote for Bell.

Well, I guess me too... pending his opinion on equal rights for gays. I just shooted him an email...
posted by muddgirl at 10:53 PM on October 6, 2006

Well, according to this post debate roundup kinky apparently said "the internet is Satan" at one point in the debate.
posted by delmoi at 11:26 PM on October 6, 2006

Well, if you continue to vote for the "lesser of two evils" and not for the candidate you truly want to win, we'll continue to have nothing more than Pepsi and Coke to choose from. Vote your conscience.

Yeah, 2000 sure was a cool election thanks to all those nice people that felt Gore was the "lesser of two evils" and wouldn't vote for him. He's sure lookin' a lot less even now, ain't he?

Besides, this isn't Perry and Kinky, it's that if Kinky got the hell out then Bell would have a great shot at Perry, and Bell is actually a good candidate. If only CKS's numbers were better...
posted by spiderwire at 1:05 AM on October 7, 2006

I think the article gives Kinky more credit than he deserves. A quick visit to his official website reveals him as nothing more than a huckster using a pretend campaign to spike sales of his t-shirts and action figures.

It's not a campaign, it's a con.
posted by Jatayu das at 4:09 AM on October 7, 2006

As for the bowling ball joke, if you told the joke twice, once for klansmen and once for the NAACP, which group do you think would laugh harder?
posted by Jatayu das at 5:11 AM on October 7, 2006

Ray Wiley Hubbard may have been racist too for all I know, but he didn't run for office.

Only talked to him once -- no sign, but once is once, what do you know? Spent more time talking than playing, but the patter was just as good as the music, so it all worked.

That was a fun show. The club was odd in that there were windows on the back wall of the stage (no glass) that went out to the lobby. We kept most people out of there, so the act wouldn't be worried.

Ray Wiley Hubbard is playing, and he's brought along a sideman, I forget the guy's name, so we'll use the universal "Man." "you want that silverface twin, man?" "Yeah man, thanks..."

So, Ray's talking. Man is tuning. Bugs Henderson slides through the window, whispers to man, and they swap. Ray finally gets into a song, and notices how his sideman has just ripped into a lick, turns -- and jumps four feet.

Didn't break the song -- he's a pro, but he said later that the last three people he expected to see sitting on that stool was Jesus, his mom, and Bugs Henderson.

What he didn't know is Bugs had been playing the club for years, and was passing through town, and just stopped by to say hi to everyone before heading onwards, and seeing Ray Wiley playing, decided just to have some fun.

Good show.
posted by eriko at 5:56 AM on October 7, 2006

As a born and bred Texan who is planning on returning home within the next 3-4 years, I'd like to see Kinky win, if nothing else to break the cycle of crap leadership the state has had since Ann Richards left office.

Kinky is a man of many faults, but he recognizes that things have gone wrong and will at least try to restore honor and humor to the state. As a pig farmer said after a meet n greet with Kinky, "You ain't worth a damn, but you're better'n what we got."

Go Kinky.
posted by davelog at 6:55 AM on October 7, 2006

so maybe we could holster our knee-jerks for once.

I've been thinking about how this would work for about sixty comments now. On the one hand, you could have a normal wild west holster type apparatus that you strap to your knee. This would be a metaphorical holster or, more precisely, the physical hallmark of a conceptual knee-jerk holstering. It would be where we keep our knee-jerk when we weren't using it, but we would still have easy quick access, as it were, when the situation arose where a knee-jerk reaction was required to save lives.

But isn't exactly correct, because most folks would say that while six-shooters should be used rarely in those life or death times, like when you're getting robbed or that one fella is lookin' at your girl Mary-Lou or you thought you saw one of them home-er-sexuals, knee-jerk reactions should properly never be used. And I think most folks would be right.

So here's a more intriguing idea: a sort of aluminum tube with rubber joiner device like the kind that immobilizes badly broken legs, that would attach to the ankle and upper thigh, and physically prevent the knee from making marching-band type movements. Or, perhaps, the device could be damped in such a way that marching-band type movements would be allowed, but only in a slow, dignified, carefully considered manner, as with the Crane maneuver from the Karate Kid.
I'm going to recruit some members of the local homeless population and begin testing in earnest.
posted by Kwine at 8:29 AM on October 7, 2006

video for debate here.
posted by nimsey lou at 9:01 AM on October 7, 2006

I'd like to see Kinky win, if nothing else to break the cycle of crap leadership the state has had since Ann Richards left office.

I'm not a Texas-hater by nature, but a comment like this might be demonsrative of why so many hate on Texas. It's that weird stubborn streak. I mean, fine -- you guys did great at the Alamo in the face of unbeatable odds. But guess what? You all freakin' died as well.

Just because things are bad politically (welcome to America since, oh, the assasination of Abraham Lincoln) doesn't mean you need to run out and support the biggest crypto-racist asshat you can find. There are other, like, options and stuff partner.
posted by bardic at 12:47 PM on October 7, 2006

Just because things are bad politically (welcome to America since, oh, the assasination of Abraham Lincoln) doesn't mean you need to run out and support the biggest crypto-racist asshat you can find. There are other, like, options and stuff partner.

Given the responses in this thread, I hope they vote for this clown. If another hurt-filled term from a Republican a-hole is what it takes to teach progressive and independent Texans the lesson Nader taught the rest of us in 2000, so be it.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:20 PM on October 7, 2006

I'm not a Texas-hater by nature, but a comment like this might be demonsrative of why so many hate on Texas.

It's cute how you call others crypto-racists while spouting your own brand of hate.
posted by davelog at 4:27 PM on October 7, 2006

Thanks. That's what I was aiming for davelog.

Btw, when did Texans become such raging pussies?
posted by bardic at 4:33 PM on October 7, 2006

I miss Ann.

If I vote my conscience I wouldn't vote at all. I don't want any of these people pretending to run my birth state. I haven't wanted anyone since Ann. At least with that crazy woman you could expect the state to run relatively smoothly. Occasional bumps along the road and occasional noise and strangeness, but relatively smooth. I miss the old broad.

As for whether or not I'm a raging pussy Bardic, I will suggest you follow the standard military procedure for proper behavior after stepping on a mine: jump two hundred feet into the air and scatter your remains over a wide area.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:37 PM on October 7, 2006

ZachsMind writes "If I vote my conscience I wouldn't vote at all."

That's something that the "vote with your conscience, not for the lesser evil" people forget. If I voted with my conscience, in most elections, I wouldn't be voting for anyone.
posted by Bugbread at 8:49 PM on October 7, 2006

We vote for the lesser of two evils, because the alternative is not to participate. Or to vote for Mickey Mouse, and if you do that you might as well just vote for the worst of two evils. Cuz you're giving it to him on a silver platter.

The reason those grey haired crazies built America the way they did two hundred years ago with the checks and balances and the ammendments and crap, was because since before the Roman Republic became the Roman Empire, there have been men trying to build a government that could not be taken from the people, and there have been men trying to take the power from the people for their own personal gain. This is an endless struggle. Those old crazy grey haired dudes wrote the Consitution in an attempt to make a gov't that couldn't be easily taken over by a small elite. They didn't think it would last long. In fact they built in the idea of ammendments because they figured they mighta screwed up stuff, and wanted to set it so people after them could fix it. They actually did a better job than they thought they did.

However, any hacker will tell you, there is no such thing as an unhackable program.

There are people in this world who believe the only way to truly have freedom, is to let everyone have freedom. There are people in this world who believe the only way to feel safe, is to take freedom from anyone you can't control.

I fear that the reason why today's democrats and republicans appear to be no different than Coke & Pepsi, is because both parties are essentially manufactured. The arguments are predetermined, and the dog is being wagged.

I think it works kinda like boxing, or wrestling, or football, or anything where money and gambling is involved behind the scenes. The fight itself may or may not be fixed ahead of time. The end result doesn't really make any noticeable difference on the surface. However, whoever invested money in that winner, they find they have more money and influence the next morning. The smart investors who backed a horse that didn't make it, aren't hurting cuz they didn't invest anything more than they could afford to lose anyway.

And there's always another race. The republicans won last time, and oil companies were the real winners. Democrats before that, and back then the technology companies were excelling, but is the world really any different? Are we better off now than we were four years ago? And if Kerry had been in the White House instead of Bush, would we have noticed?
posted by ZachsMind at 11:51 PM on October 7, 2006 [1 favorite]