Let me get this straight: a guy wanted to have Goatse on his debit card? Does this give him street cred or something?
Also, what the hell happened to his thumb? posted by NationalKato at 8:59 AM on November 2, 2006
even the little microchip looks like goatse! posted by sharpener at 8:59 AM on November 2, 2006
It's a photo of the pumpkin carving of the goatse man, right? posted by mathowie at 8:59 AM on November 2, 2006
That's what it looks like to me. I kind of find goatse an appropiate metaphor for the whole credit card experience. posted by keswick at 9:01 AM on November 2, 2006 [3 favorites]
Great. A pumpkin carving of goatse.
And that goes right into the nightmare folder.
Thanks Metafilter! posted by Merlyn at 9:02 AM on November 2, 2006
Can I get the credit card with a pumpkin carving of goatse on a t-shirt? posted by randomination at 9:05 AM on November 2, 2006
Ooh! I want your t-shirt on a coffee cup, randomination. posted by fleetmouse at 9:08 AM on November 2, 2006
Ooh! I want a knitted wall hanging illustrating your coffee cup, fleetmouse. posted by StickyCarpet at 9:13 AM on November 2, 2006
Cool StickyCarpet cause I'm going to get that wall hanging shaved into the back of my head, Vanilla Ice style. posted by Divine_Wino at 9:18 AM on November 2, 2006
Can anyone post ascii art of Devine_Wino's head? posted by peeedro at 9:20 AM on November 2, 2006
Save the ascii art as a jpg and send it to me. posted by muddgirl at 9:26 AM on November 2, 2006
Divine_Wino: please send me a photo of your head. I need to take it down to the tattoo parlor for my full-color backpiece. posted by The corpse in the library at 9:27 AM on November 2, 2006
The corpse in the library, please let me trace your tattoo with my finger so that I may carve it into a grain of rice with a laser. posted by drezdn at 9:35 AM on November 2, 2006
drezdn, can you pass on a magnified image of that grain of rice? I plan to make a crop circle pattern with it. posted by jefbla at 9:41 AM on November 2, 2006
I officially declare this thread to be funny. posted by e.e. coli at 9:41 AM on November 2, 2006
Jefbla, when you're finished I'd like to get an aerial photo of your crop circle so I can put it on my credit card. posted by wanderingmind at 9:44 AM on November 2, 2006 [1 favorite]
Hey, wanderingmind, can I borrow your credit card to pay Matt to reinstate the inline image tag so I can post this recursion as an animated gif? posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:52 AM on November 2, 2006
wanderingmind, i'd like to get a photo of your credit card so i can put it on a mouse pad. posted by sephira at 9:53 AM on November 2, 2006
hey wandering mind, actually can i borrow that card? i want to spread my own asshole to a diameter of about four inches, put the card inside, take a picture, and put it on the internet. posted by radiosig at 9:53 AM on November 2, 2006 [3 favorites]
And I will use that credit card to get a cash advance which I will use to pay off my congressman to get a law passed banning the possibility of this ever happening again. posted by blue_beetle at 9:54 AM on November 2, 2006
wanderingmind, I'd like to get a picture of your mousepad so I can knit it onto an iPod cozy. posted by StarForce5 at 10:03 AM on November 2, 2006
StarForce5, I could use an image of such an iPod cozy as part of this quilt I'm working on. posted by The Great Big Mulp at 10:06 AM on November 2, 2006
The Great Big Mulp: could you perhaps take a picture of your quilt when it is done so that I may rasterbate it for use as wallpaper? posted by exlotuseater at 10:21 AM on November 2, 2006
He probably read "goatse" and thought it said "goatee"... jezz... everyone is a Kevin Smith wannabe now a days. posted by wfrgms at 10:22 AM on November 2, 2006
Can I have all these pictures you all talking about rolled into a neat screensaver? posted by forwebsites at 10:27 AM on November 2, 2006
exlotuseater, please be sure to make a blog post about your rasterbated wallpaper project, I'd like to make an FPP about it. posted by ulotrichous at 10:28 AM on November 2, 2006
exlotuseater, could you fax me a copy of your wallpaper so I can cross-stitch a towel with the image on? posted by drezdn at 10:28 AM on November 2, 2006
Shitting Christ, what have I started? posted by randomination at 10:39 AM on November 2, 2006
ignoring his card, I had the same scars on my thumbs when I was in my rubber-bands-and-paper-clips phase. ?
oh, and ewww. posted by Busithoth at 10:43 AM on November 2, 2006
Randominnation,
May I have your permission to use the phrase "Shitting Christ, what have I started?" as the title of an interpretive dance piece based on this thread that I am going to be performing in the bathroom of my local bar later this evening?
Please say yes, as I've already called in a order for posters to the printer. posted by Divine_Wino at 10:43 AM on November 2, 2006
Only if you promise to post a YTMND of it. posted by randomination at 10:45 AM on November 2, 2006
Can I make a t-shirt that says "Shitting Christ Happens" ? posted by ddf at 10:51 AM on November 2, 2006
Can I make one that says "Shitting Christ is watching you rasturbate" ? posted by jefbla at 11:05 AM on November 2, 2006
Hmm... I wish I could see that, but the funky port on that URL shields me from the awesome experience of the Goatse card. Then again, that might be a good thing. posted by clevershark at 11:05 AM on November 2, 2006
Oops, I mean "rasterbate".
Damn, joke ruined due to spelling error. Sometimes I wish I wasn't even born. posted by jefbla at 11:06 AM on November 2, 2006
This thread is the best thing I've read all morning. Thank you everyone. posted by Diskeater at 11:13 AM on November 2, 2006
Flexible. Pay as you goat.
0% interest. (The zero is like in a RLY big size font). posted by hal9k at 11:16 AM on November 2, 2006
shoultn't all these posts be in Projects? posted by Megafly at 11:29 AM on November 2, 2006 [1 favorite]
I was thinking maybe we should print this whole thread out and make it into wrapping paper for all those crafts you guys are working on. posted by routergirl at 11:33 AM on November 2, 2006
DivineWino, do you mind if I create an off-off Broadway production about your interpretive dance in the bathroom? I'll need to borrow your posters. posted by dejah420 at 11:54 AM on November 2, 2006
I just made a stained-glass window of this thread. It's beautiful! posted by trip and a half at 11:55 AM on November 2, 2006
MetaMetaMetaMetaMetaMetaMetaMeta MUSHROOM MUSHROOM posted by Mayor West at 11:56 AM on November 2, 2006 [2 favorites]
dejah420, would you be able to scan your production using motion capture cameras so I can feed it into a rapid prototyping stereolithography machine and make a plastic model of the cast in action? posted by jack_mo at 11:57 AM on November 2, 2006
jack_mo, is it ok if I reweave the fabric of the universe so that pi is now a sequence of numbers that, if properly converted to binary and input into a 1000x1000x1000 grid, would generate an exact replica of your plastic model? posted by brain_drain at 12:37 PM on November 2, 2006 [1 favorite]
brain_drain, can I write a terrible conspiracy novel about your new universe? posted by moss at 1:27 PM on November 2, 2006
If someone doesn't soon present a tee shirt of this thread in its entirety, on a mefi blue background, I think I might cry. posted by routergirl at 2:54 PM on November 2, 2006 [1 favorite]
I think this thread is going to explode the internet tubes. posted by craven_morhead at 3:19 PM on November 2, 2006
Can we take those exploded internet tubes and.... shit, I have nothing. posted by Bageena at 3:34 PM on November 2, 2006
That's hot. Or not. I don't remember goatse looking like a Dio album cover though. posted by fenriq at 4:25 PM on November 2, 2006
That's hot. Or not.
Now if only someone would build a website around that concept... posted by nebulawindphone at 6:33 PM on November 2, 2006
Now if only someone would build a website around that concept...
I'm totally going to get Cory Doctorow to write a story based on this thread and have R.U. Sirius read it as a podcast illustrated with abstract nudie pics of Xeni.
All of your comments are licensed under Creative Comments, right? posted by loquacious at 8:19 PM on November 2, 2006
All our comments are belong to Mathowie. posted by fenriq at 8:29 PM on November 2, 2006
I'm going to take loquacious's Xeni-nudie-illustrated podcast of R.U. Sirius reading Cory Doctorow's short story version of this thread, load it onto a succession of larger and larger mp3-capable devices which I will insert sequentially and rectally in order to stretch out the ol' bunghole, a photo of which I will then have emblazoned on my next credit card. posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:53 PM on November 2, 2006
Can I get the credit card with a photo of stavrosthewonderchicken's credit card? posted by loquacious at 10:24 PM on November 2, 2006
I hope you guys realize this thread is going to cause a recursion loop that'll make the universe reboot.
All these comments and images will make a really nice Tabblo. Could someone put it all on a disc for me? posted by mygothlaundry at 6:51 AM on November 3, 2006
I'm working on a system of optical fiber bundles which permutes the visual field such that when a person views the Mastercard logo, they see a collage of all the works mentioned so far. posted by dmd at 10:44 AM on November 3, 2006
I'm painting one butt cheek red and the other orange so that when you view my bent-over, spread ass it makes you think "Mastercard".
Also, Radiosig wins. posted by infobomb at 11:58 AM on November 3, 2006
I have imprinted all the suggestions in the thread onto a microdot which I now present for your delectation:
Well done languagehat, I especially enjoy the woodcut illustrations you added. posted by drezdn at 2:16 PM on November 3, 2006
Are you going to eat that? No?
*lick*
I, err, what!? My God, it's full of stars!$@98FDJm
02894()*@!RHJN!CA&$*( &;$465KMF
ATH0
NO CARRIER
> posted by loquacious at 7:48 PM on November 3, 2006
The universe needs rebooting anyway. posted by keptwench at 3:06 AM on November 4, 2006
/me hands loquacious an award for actual best use of the blink tag. posted by ZakDaddy at 3:32 AM on November 4, 2006
And it was all for naught, for the Goatse pumpkin at the centre of it all was a false and idolatrous Goatse; verily, the True Goatse hath a Lesser Ring in counterpoint to the Great Ringpiece, and this False Goatse hath none; for it is an imposture, and a mockery in the sight of the faithful. posted by flabdablet at 3:04 AM on November 6, 2006
What happens if we all stop playing and break the chain? I didn't fuck the magic, I think it was keptwench.
I'll try for a recovery:
loquatious, would you please record your trip? i'd like to do a documentary on experiences under the influence of goatse microdots. posted by Meatbomb at 4:28 AM on November 6, 2006
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