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Without cows there would be no cheese in the Inland Empire
November 10, 2006 7:34 PM   Subscribe

David Lynch: "Without cows there would be no cheese in the Inland Empire" (via).
posted by JPowers (54 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Why is it that times like these flash seems to ... not work... suddenly. I wish I could see this.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 7:40 PM on November 10, 2006


You can actually make cheese from hemp.

But the cow ranchers would never go for it.
posted by nervousfritz at 7:50 PM on November 10, 2006


Huh, I always thought the Inland Empire was around Spokane, WA. Guess the internets are good for somethin'.
posted by Staggering Jack at 8:20 PM on November 10, 2006


The I.E. will be losing one of its more exotic herds soon. Rising property values and new neighbors with finicky noses have all but doomed that area's dairy industry.
posted by buggzzee23 at 8:28 PM on November 10, 2006


I've been laughing about this all day long. Laura Dern deserves the Oscar, too. FWIW, I've seen & reviewed INLAND EMPIRE (Lynch insists on all caps.)
posted by muckster at 8:39 PM on November 10, 2006


Lynch is self-distributing the movie, and the IFC Center in New York will screen it for two weeks starting Dec 6. YouTube has a piece of "Rabbits," the short film with Naomi Watts that Lynch repurposed for INLAND EMPIRE.
posted by muckster at 8:44 PM on November 10, 2006 [1 favorite]


Huh, I always thought the Inland Empire was around Spokane, WA. Guess the internets are good for somethin'.

Growing up in Missoula Montana, I consumed a steady diet of TV from Spokane. Indeed, I understand "Inland Empire" to mean what Staggering Jack's link suggests.

But the cow was pretty cool....
posted by Tube at 8:45 PM on November 10, 2006


Must be some of that mad cow viral marketing we've all been trained to fear so much.
posted by furtive at 8:53 PM on November 10, 2006


He's like Mr. Rogers after a couple of bong hits.
posted by lovejones at 9:07 PM on November 10, 2006


That was wonderful. I loved the YouTube clip.
posted by squidfartz at 9:12 PM on November 10, 2006


"Fuck, dude."
"It's some kind of cow..."
"Dude, fuck!"
"It's a real cow, too."

Why are people so stupid?!?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:40 PM on November 10, 2006


Around Southern California "Inland Empire" relates to the urban sprawl to the east of greater Los Angeles. Ex: San Bernadino, Riverside... Also known as "The 909".
posted by wavespy at 9:50 PM on November 10, 2006


Could this be a farm report to go along with his daily weather forecast?
posted by myopicman at 9:54 PM on November 10, 2006


Not only was this video "Lynchesque" but I can't believe David Lynch is still doing his daily video Weather Report. He has no ends.
posted by spacelux at 11:14 PM on November 10, 2006


Why are people so stupid?!?

Lighten up, Alvy. This is all a first draft -- let us be colloquial, redundant, dim, and tongue-tied while we work it out. Come back next life, then render your opinion.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 11:21 PM on November 10, 2006


<3 David Lynch. I can't wait to see this movie.
posted by The God Complex at 11:25 PM on November 10, 2006


(Speaking of David Lynch, when the hell are they going to release a proper DVD of Lost Highway?)
posted by The God Complex at 11:28 PM on November 10, 2006


Why are people so stupid?!?

Dude, they're in the middle of Hollywood. If I saw a live cow, not to mention David fucking Lynch, sitting on a corner just chilling, I'd probably say "Holy shit, it's a real, live cow!". And then I'd probably say "Holy shit, it's David fucking Lynch!".

I've seen a lot of crazy shit in Hollywood. Naked people, stupid people, drunk people, punk rock people, bewildered tourists expecting Disneyland and free tinsel only to find a ghetto filled with perverts and hucksters. I'm pretty sure I met at least one hitchhiking extra-terrestrial. Dude was a long way from home, if you follow me. I've seen running machine gun fights. I once saw a homeless guy pee in his own mouth like a monkey, just as happy as shit, standing out on a busy corner. I watched a kid ollie over a moving car. In traffic. I've seen a towering Amazonian transsexual hooker take a cracked-out flying leap into a fast food kitchen and just totally wreck the joint 'cause her burger wasn't right. I once saw a mostly naked and rather vigorous three-way. On the hood of a car. In a Denny's parking lot. It was early afternoon. People hardly even seemed to notice.

But I've never seen no goddamn cow hanging out with David Lynch.
posted by loquacious at 12:31 AM on November 11, 2006 [16 favorites]


Man, that's just beautiful. I would so totally have made with the fucks and goddams and man it's likes. Lynch is fucking perfect. And he looks like a lunatic. I wonder if I will get a chance to see this in a theater? Can't wait.

And loquacious, what now? I'm still processing that bit above. Man peed in his own mouth like a monkey? Ollie over a moving car in traffic amazonian hooker smashing Denny three way. You live in a Leyner novel.
posted by undule at 12:45 AM on November 11, 2006


loquacious, I've never seen anyone depict Hollywood so well while being so concise. Bravo.
posted by joedan at 1:26 AM on November 11, 2006


Hollywood's a shithole, man. Older and much wiser I avoid the place like it was the 7 plagues, and thankfully live over 1000 miles away. 'Cause Kim Jong-il is gonna nuke it to a cinder in a hissy fit of jealousy any day now.

Here, I can do one better on conciseness: It's as though Satan's own asshole puckered up out of the Good Earth and started shitting out freaks. Oddly, they're all from out of town.

Without cows, indeed.

All that crazy freak stuff used to entertain me. I'd go seek it out. Now, not so much. I must be getting old. Makes for good story material, though, which is kind of why I sought it out in the first place.
posted by loquacious at 2:05 AM on November 11, 2006 [2 favorites]


I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.
I've seen running machine gun fights. I once saw a homeless guy pee in his own mouth like a monkey, just as happy as shit, standing out on a busy corner. I watched a kid ollie over a moving car. In traffic. I've seen a towering Amazonian transsexual hooker take a cracked-out flying leap into a fast food kitchen and just totally wreck the joint 'cause her burger wasn't right. I once saw a mostly naked and rather vigorous three-way. On the hood of a car. In a Denny's parking lot. It was early afternoon. People hardly even seemed to notice.
All those moments will be lost in time...like tears...in rain. Time...to die.
posted by juv3nal at 2:06 AM on November 11, 2006 [2 favorites]


David Lynch for president
posted by matteo at 2:24 AM on November 11, 2006


Nice, juv, future L.A. Except Rutger's currently furiously pinwheeling down Franklin as the Blind Samurai.
posted by toma at 2:40 AM on November 11, 2006


The future isn't what it used to be.
posted by loquacious at 2:53 AM on November 11, 2006


I have a hetero-boner for David Lynch. And his films.

A few friends of mine met Lynch at a film festival/seminar in Poland a few years back. Apparently he's one of the nicest people you could ever meet, very unassuming and very willing to have a chat about anything.

And yes, Lost Highway needs a Criterion treatment. Not gonna happen, but I can dream.
posted by slimepuppy at 5:11 AM on November 11, 2006


"Fuck, dude."
"It's some kind of cow..."
"Dude, fuck!"
"It's a real cow, too."

Why are people so stupid?!?


"I say, Benjamin, is that not a bovine on the side of the street?"

"Why, yes. It appears to be standing in the vicinity of American filmmaker David Lynch, director of films such as Blue Velvet and Lost Highway."

"You do know, Benjamin, that cheese comes from milk."

"Undoubtedly."

"And milk, in turn, is acquired from cows. Do you get it?

"Indeed I do. Good show."

*smokes pipe*
posted by Stauf at 8:01 AM on November 11, 2006 [4 favorites]


Velvet Blue.
posted by hal9k at 8:22 AM on November 11, 2006


Forget about a Criterion Lost Highway. When the flark is he going to release the rest of Twin Peaks on DVD?
posted by papakwanz at 8:54 AM on November 11, 2006


David Lynch's movies are nonsense. Blue Velvet is the closest he's ever come to coherant. I used to beat myself up over how confused Lost Highway made me. Like I wasn't paying enough attention or didn't take enough damn notes while watching it so I failed to "get it".

Then I saw Mulholland Drive and realized the problem wasn't me. The problem was a pretentious director who felt he was above telling a story with a beginning, middle and an end. It's just a series of images.

Twin Peaks was rad in places, though.
posted by EatTheWeak at 9:19 AM on November 11, 2006


No, I think the problem is you.
posted by papakwanz at 9:35 AM on November 11, 2006


The problem is definitely you, EatTheWeak. Lost Highway (and especially Mulholland Drive) make plenty of sense.

But like a lot of art, that 'sense' is subjective. All Lynch's work is like that, as far back to The Grandmother, The Alphabet, and Eraserhead.
posted by NationalKato at 10:08 AM on November 11, 2006


lost highway totally lost me. I only watched it once, but felt angry at it for wasting my time in the end. I've had friends try to explain it to me, read up on it some, but can't force myself to watch it again. And I've been watching (and appreciating) his stuff since Dune hit theaters. But EatTheWeak, if The Straight Story doesn't come across as coherent to you, I would humbly submit you're obtuse.
posted by Busithoth at 10:49 AM on November 11, 2006


I forgot all about the trainwreck he called Dune! Some sort of post-traumatic blockage, I figure.

The Straight Story I've never heard of. I suppose it's possible it lives up to its title.

I still maintain that Lost Highway was ridiculous.
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:52 AM on November 11, 2006


oh, and thanks for this link.
I laughed my ass off, and bless his heart for what he does, even (especially?) the stuff I don't get.
posted by Busithoth at 10:52 AM on November 11, 2006


SUbjectively speaking, of course.
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:53 AM on November 11, 2006


[on preview]
his Dune trumped the mini-series to me, but maybe it was the handout they gave my 11-year old hands with vocabulary words as we entered the theater. the fragments I retain from Lost Highway would support your claim of ridiculous.

He is clever, though, and manipulates his audience with ease. (As opposed to catering to, say.)
posted by Busithoth at 10:54 AM on November 11, 2006


Most of the images in Dune were wonderful. The costumes and the sets and expecially the fleet seers in those crazy spice tanks. All that was spot-on. Hell, I didn't even mind Sting's performance.

But the reduction of the Atreides weirding way to a sonic pistol was unforgivable. And the massive cuts to the story to cram it into movie length left the story all but unrecognizable. Dune's one of those tales that you just can't translate to film.
posted by EatTheWeak at 11:02 AM on November 11, 2006


It always amazes me that Angelenos can identify even the behind-the-camera people from across the street, in a moving car. I've seen most of Lynch's films, but if I bumped into him on a sidewalk, I wouldn't even know it.
posted by psmealey at 11:11 AM on November 11, 2006


Well put, loquacious, very well put; I need to put my crankiness on a leash, I think.
Right after I buy a plane ticket to LA.

And I hope to see you at the PfiffleFeather Club tonight, Stauf!
Don't forget, it's Ascot Night!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:14 AM on November 11, 2006


Dune's one of those tales that you just can't translate to film.

I agree 100%. I wished they would give it the LOTR treatment. Shoot several feature length installments and accent it with insane CGI. That would definitely be worthy of the story.

With the exception of the spectacular Mulholland Drive, I find Lynch's work thought-provoking and amusing, but mostly, well, meh.
posted by psmealey at 11:16 AM on November 11, 2006


The Elephant Man, The Straight Story and Blue Velvet were really quite interesting. These films hold up. He actually told STORIES. His other films feel terribly dated and empty by comparison. Though there are some acute visuals and interesting moods established... you have to be high to endure two hours of it.

Lynch has been remaking the twisted creepier elements of Twin Peaks and Eraserhead over and over. With NO story. And it's gotten really boring. He is a self-parody.

He relies on a new generation of pot smoking college kids to "wow" and "trip out" with his stunningly dull weirdo nonsense.

I mean "Mullholand Dr.?" Good GOD that was awful. Except for the lesbian scene I would have slept through the entire thing.
posted by tkchrist at 11:24 AM on November 11, 2006


I will grant that monumental liberties were taken in the making of the film, and I committed the mortal sin of seeing the movie before reading the book. I too, believed immediately after reading it, that it was untranslatable.
Still, a noble effort, and visionary (and somehow I feel this isn't solely attributable to having seen it pre-reading). The editing was odd, but there were so many goddam lines/scenes that stuck with me for years and years, it ranks much higher for me than a fan of the series could really afford it.
Also, the studio and Lynch had some serious confrontations on the movie's final form, and manipulated enough to make a version of it attributed to Alan Smithee.
Flaws and all, I'm just glad it was made.

I had no idea this new movie (INLAND EMPIRE) was out.
or the Gilliam's Tideland (appeared under FPP in youtube for me). Good news all around. Even when these directors miss their target slightly, I have a better chance of enjoying their films over the MTV-factory directors that seem to be so popular nowadays.
posted by Busithoth at 11:31 AM on November 11, 2006


Mulholland Dr. is Lynch's masterpiece; it's perfect from the first frame to the last. INLAND EMPIRE is way weirder (and way longer) than anything he's done in a long time, so if you're still freaked out by Blue Velvet it's probably not the film for you. Also, tragically, he's abandoned film for digital video, and INLAND EMPIRE looks comparatively lousy.
posted by muckster at 11:33 AM on November 11, 2006


Like most of David Lynch, I don't get it. Cheese comes from milk? Of course is does. Milk comes from cows. Yes, of course. What the hell does this have to do with INLAND EMPIRE?

Even though I don't understand him, I do like him. Mulholland Drive was amazing.
posted by arcticwoman at 11:44 AM on November 11, 2006



Forget about a Criterion Lost Highway. When the flark is he going to release the rest of Twin Peaks on DVD?


I don't think it's going to be released. The studio didn't make enough money off season one (which I own, of course), so season two doesn't seem like it's going to happen. A shame, really. I mean, I didn't like season two as much as season one, but it's still one of the greatest television series I've ever seen.
posted by The God Complex at 1:30 PM on November 11, 2006


I find it amazing that people actually LIKE Mulholland Dr? I can only conclude that either they, or somehow I against my knowledge, were drugged. Them a happy drug. Me a drug that induced rapid exhausting mind numbing boredom. And trust me. I am very hard to bore. Just LISTEN to me, fer Christ sake.

Or we were shown a completely different film.

How such divergent views of reality can exist cannot be explained simply by the vagaries of taste. I suspect shenanigans. SHENANIGANS!

C'mon? How many back-wards talking Dwarves does one filmmaker need? Isn't there a rule about that?
posted by tkchrist at 9:19 PM on November 11, 2006


David Lynch rocks. He doesn't give a shit what you think, and yet they still let him do his thing. How enviable a position is that.

I submit that Lost Highway was better than Mulholland Drive. Both were hallucinogenic and insane, but Lost Highway was more symmetrical. If you're gonna have a mobius strip of a movie, it has to be more symmetrical. But that's just me.

Oh, and your favorite filmmaker? Sucks.
posted by fungible at 9:48 PM on November 11, 2006


I agree with fungible about Lost Higway being a better film than Mulholland Drive.

David Lynch is one of, if not the most intuitive film maker working on the outskirts of Hollywood. He rarely feels the need to justify his films. A cohesive narrative is secondary (hell, tertiary) to visuals and raw emotion. Which, if you're a producer, makes you worried and causes budgets to shrink. Which is why Lynch has now moved on to DV. When it costs shit-all to shoot, he doesn't need to justify his every decision to the people controlling the purse strings. Which, hopefully, means an even better end product for us fans.

Even so, I can appreciate people not understading Lynch's films but just be aware that some of us feel the same way about Michael Bay. I would rather sit through a year's worth of Lynch telling me what the weather is like in California than sit through 150 minutes of fucking Bad Boys II.

I can not wait for INLAND EMPIRE to come out.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:53 PM on November 12, 2006


CowParade NYC 2000 featured ~500 fibreglass cows painted by artists and children. David Lynch was asked for a contribution. Lynch chopped off his cow's head and stuck
forks and knives into its back. He also covered parts
of the cow with a reddish, blood-like substance. Lynch's cow. Needless to say, his cow was banned.
posted by shoesandships at 10:59 PM on November 12, 2006


tkchrist, what is … shenanigans?
posted by JBennett at 8:40 AM on November 13, 2006


I think some of the asymmetry in Mulholland Drive comes from the fact that it was supposed to be a pilot for a tv series akin to Twin Peaks. If only.....
posted by Sloben at 11:32 AM on November 13, 2006


Even so, I can appreciate people not understading Lynch's films but just be aware that some of us feel the same way about Michael Bay.

I'm not sure your meaning that to be as patronizing as it sounds. Even if you are your logic is flawed. This may come as a shock to the Auteur but plenty of Philistine dipshits like Lynch and will giggle the same way while torching up the same bong during Mulholland Dr. as they would during Armageddon.

Just because some of us don't like many (not all, but some) of Lynch's later films doesn't mean our default Filmmaker of choice is Micheal Bay. Jesus.

There are alternatives to both. Alternatives who, today, are better with-in the same genre, theme, and approach. And can operate outside the mainstream without the carnival enigma that is Lynch.

I like that Lynch is wierd. I've met the man. I like him. But it's not enough for me to fork over $20 anymore. There are better wierdo's out there. I'm glad he out there. But. He's got to work harder to get me back in the seats.

My problem with Lynch is he has stopped telling interesting stories NOT because they limiting to him as an artist but because he has gotten lazy as hell.

A freakshow is easy. Anybody can do it. Find a dwarf and put lipstick on a creepy looking old lady and make them do a duet to a Bobby Darrin song. Backwards.
posted by tkchrist at 12:58 PM on November 13, 2006


Kudos to loquacious and stauf - thanks for keeping me up later than i intended, it's hard to go to bed while laughing.

I'd just like to take this moment to send out a big hug to the metafilter community. I continue to be delighted by your insight and humor. even your snarkiness rises above so much of the hoi polloi snark we see elsewhere on the net. You're first-rate, you're the tops.

As for me: I like Lynch and I liked Mulholland Drive. that film and Adaptation drove me nuts, i spent several hours after each film reading things online and trying to figure them out.

My conclusions:
Surprise - Mulholland Drive is figure-out-able. It helps to talk it out and see it again. I like that in a film.

Alas, Adaptation was just a rare Charlie Kaufman misfire...yeah there really isn't anything more to it than what you see...kinda sad, huh?
posted by django_z at 11:27 PM on November 15, 2006


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