Power, it starts with P like...

December 7, 2006 9:48 PM

If you don't watch My Puss then You Suck. But what I want to know is, if you're gonna Eat to the Beat, How Many Licks until you go blind? Maybe we can find out Downtown. Sure, this post is full of video, audio, pop-ups, and is probably NSFW, but you know you want to join in with your favorite songs in praise of the empowered punani! Come on and Put a Little Sugar in My Bowl!
posted by serazin (51 comments total)

Cunnilingus?
posted by econous at 10:14 PM on December 7, 2006

"Your puss invaded Iraq?"

that's pretty awesome.
posted by jonson at 10:17 PM on December 7, 2006

Oh, and while I don't have a favorite song in praise of cunnilingus, I DO have a favorite song about penile impotence.
posted by jonson at 10:22 PM on December 7, 2006

When you're alone and life is making you lonely
You can always go - downtown
When you've got worries, all the noise and the hurry
Seems to help, I know - downtown
Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can you lose?

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares
So go downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown - no finer place, for sure
Downtown - everything's waiting for you

Don't hang around and let your problems surround you
There are movie shows - downtown
Maybe you know some little places to go to
Where they never close - downtown
Just listen to the rhythm of a gentle bossa nova
You'll be dancing with him too before the night is over
Happy again

The lights are much brighter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares
So go downtown, where all the lights are bright
Downtown - waiting for you tonight
Downtown - you're gonna be all right now

And you may find somebody kind to help and understand you
Someone who is just like you and needs a gentle hand to
Guide them along

So maybe I'll see you there
We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares
So go downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown - don't wait a minute more
Downtown - everything's waiting for you

Downtown, downtown, downtown, downtown ...
posted by Pollomacho at 10:23 PM on December 7, 2006

Yay! You Suck was my favourite rude song for years after the novelty of 2 Live Crew wore off. "You can suck my cunt while I'm on the rag", indeed.

But it turned me on to Consolidated, who rock. And what about Cyndi Lauper's She Bop?
posted by goo at 10:35 PM on December 7, 2006

yeah, goo, that's the link under "go blind".
posted by jonson at 10:39 PM on December 7, 2006

Oops - I'm still pre-caffeine. Thanks jonson.
posted by goo at 10:42 PM on December 7, 2006

Isn't Margaret Cho semi-famous by now? Doesn't she have access to B-grade writers and video editors capable of actually putting something kind of funny together?

Apparently not.

And wah, no Liz Phair?
posted by bardic at 11:10 PM on December 7, 2006

Petula Clark rocks. Even her name is vaguely labial. Margaret Cho, however, is painfully unfunny.

These are opinions, and many probably disagree with them. That is the nature of opinions.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:21 PM on December 7, 2006

I hate to say it but once I saw the Margeret Cho link, I passed. The woman makes Mama's Family look funny (and that show makes me break out in hives).
posted by fenriq at 11:31 PM on December 7, 2006

A song about the absence of the empowered punani.
posted by greycap at 11:34 PM on December 7, 2006

Ahem. 2 Live Crew was *not* a novelty. I mean, something has to be said for those who genuinely just want some pussy. They were the first ones to really speak for that population; and if you ask me, they're heroes.
posted by squirrel at 11:36 PM on December 7, 2006

I like eating red carpet.
posted by tellurian at 11:44 PM on December 7, 2006

It took a little while, but I did find some Hagfish (though YouTube edited the subject)...
posted by toma at 12:13 AM on December 8, 2006

Sit on my face by Monty Python has got to be the best - a little crude perhaps:
Lyrics
posted by FidelDonson at 12:17 AM on December 8, 2006

What about that song that went "my neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack (back?)?"

And a song that isn't *exactly* about pussy in this sense that (I think) this post was going for: Lords of Acid-"Pussy".
posted by sperose at 12:25 AM on December 8, 2006

Some bands just don't do metaphor I guess. [nsfw]
posted by bardic at 3:39 AM on December 8, 2006

Who can forget this 80s classic by good girl turned bad, Sheena Easton?
posted by psmealey at 3:42 AM on December 8, 2006

bardic--they apparently do J. Geils' 'First I Look at the Purse.' If so, a damn good reversal.
posted by toma at 3:49 AM on December 8, 2006

Ahh, Petula Clark. I can never think of her singing "Downtown" again after someone told me a variation of the Sean Connery story.
posted by LondonYank at 3:54 AM on December 8, 2006

The Celebrity Jeopardy episode writes itself.
posted by bardic at 4:28 AM on December 8, 2006

Then there's Deep Purple where the lead sings:
So we put her on a hitlist
of a modern cunning linguist
a master of many tongues
Knockin at your back door.
Lyrics Here: http://songlyrics.com/song-lyrics/Deep_Purple/Perfect_Strangers/Knocking_At_Your_Back_Door/33411.html

Thanks, once again the savage beast is quite soothed.
posted by winks007 at 4:48 AM on December 8, 2006

Well, I always thought there was a certain amount of instructional ambiguity to the brilliantly catchy "If you don't want to f*** me baby, well baby f*** off" by Wayne County & the Electric Chairs.

(But I mainly just enjoyed annoying the snot out of my dad by playing it loudly in my bedroom - even before I found out about the Wayne/Jayne thing!)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 5:08 AM on December 8, 2006

The romantic 'Cotton Candy' - Insane Clown Posse.
posted by tellurian at 5:15 AM on December 8, 2006

Oh and BTW, this FPP must surely draw the ire of a certain femi-nazi. I will be checking in all day to see then he/she finally wakes and chimes in on this subject.
posted by winks007 at 5:16 AM on December 8, 2006

ICP rocks!
posted by winks007 at 5:18 AM on December 8, 2006

Femi-nazi? For real? Suck my clit.
posted by piratebowling at 5:40 AM on December 8, 2006

The song sperose mentioned.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 5:52 AM on December 8, 2006

If they got Fergie to sing it, at least I could turn the sound off and watch the video.
posted by LordSludge at 6:11 AM on December 8, 2006

What's that new Fergie song about anyways? She's going to go down on him? Her panties are coming down? She's wearing a chastity belt?

Flummoxed again by popular culture. Drat.
posted by bardic at 6:16 AM on December 8, 2006

bardic--they apparently do J. Geils' 'First I Look at the Purse.'

You mean the Contours. I love the Geils boys, but give credit where credit is due.
posted by jonmc at 6:52 AM on December 8, 2006

Don't forget Lords of Acid's song 'Pussy'.
posted by ao4047 at 7:25 AM on December 8, 2006

Jesus, doesn't anyone FUCKING READ?

Thanks for the link to the Sean-o story. I hadn't heard it. It will enliven many a groaning board this Yuletide, of that you may be sure.
posted by adamgreenfield at 7:35 AM on December 8, 2006

This has been very, very educational.

Thank you blue.
posted by fluffycreature at 7:52 AM on December 8, 2006

ICP rocks!

Incoming message


(I kid, I kid. To each their own.)
posted by Dr-Baa at 8:00 AM on December 8, 2006

ICP rocks!
Incoming message
(I kid, I kid. To each their own.)
Still, on topic
posted by tellurian at 8:16 AM on December 8, 2006

You know, I think these songs are about sex. Dirty sex. I'm outraged. Back in the 60's we never had filthy songs like this.

Remember the Led Zeppelin? They had something of a big hit with a song about the benefits of Vitamin C.

But this? Filth. Dirty, filthy filth.
posted by Pastabagel at 8:19 AM on December 8, 2006

Remember the Led Zeppelin? They had something of a big hit with a song about the benefits of Vitamin C.

Robert Johnson came up with that nutritional advice first. Sorry, I'm feeling geeky and pedantic today.
posted by jonmc at 8:23 AM on December 8, 2006

Robert Johnson came up with that nutritional advice first. Sorry, I'm feeling geeky and pedantic today.
posted by jonmc at 11:23 AM EST on December 8

Well, if you really wanted to be geeky and pedantic, we'd go back to Ovid and Sappho of Lesbos.

snicker
posted by Pastabagel at 8:31 AM on December 8, 2006

I prefer milky way
posted by jonmc at 8:39 AM on December 8, 2006

Who the hell is Robert Johnson?
posted by tellurian at 8:52 AM on December 8, 2006

I vaguely remember some Stone's thingy.
posted by tellurian at 9:00 AM on December 8, 2006

"Who the hell is Robert Johnson?"


YOU GET THE HELL OUT. RIGHT NOW. NO, SERIOUSLY. And don't come back until you done been educated!
posted by stenseng at 12:54 PM on December 8, 2006

What about that song that went "my neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack (back?)?"

There's a screwed and chopped mix of that song, where Khia sounds like a bloke. Makes for intriguing listening.

Who the hell is Robert Johnson?

If you really don't know, you're in for a right treat.
posted by jack_mo at 2:48 PM on December 8, 2006

Good catch jonmc, it always sounded too 'late 50s-early 60s' for them to have written it, and they're a good subject for chat.

Since that discussion's now on reggae, I'll just say they were the rare band who could do covers well: 'House Party,' 'Homework,' 'Lookin for a Love'...
posted by toma at 2:57 PM on December 8, 2006

Joining us for late afternoon tea in a 4-way
Is my old next-door neighbor Jimbo and his wife,
Who is a chicken.

Since I'm the only woman there with hands,
I soon find myself fully occupied.
I can't help but wonder how Jimbo and his wife had their baby,
Who had been sleeping next to us, but had since fallen onto the floor.
She must be able to change forms, back and forth.
And what about chicken pussy?
Is it enticing?
I mean what's the story?
posted by xod at 3:05 PM on December 8, 2006

Remember the Led Zeppelin? They had something of a big hit with a song about the benefits of Vitamin C.

If you're going to bring up Zep, the appropriate one is Custard Pie.

Lots of blues and jump blues songs reference the poontang.

Then there's Bongwater's "The Power of Pussy" ... (although their lawyers seem to have made sure everybody takes down their lyrics, no linky).
posted by dhartung at 3:12 PM on December 8, 2006

I can't believe jonmc's in this thread and he's not the one posting it but

Don't need to wait for an invitation (Lick it up! Lick it up!)
You've got to live like you're on vacation (Lick it up! Lick it up!)

posted by arto at 5:52 PM on December 8, 2006

Hey! Thanks for adding to my already enormous bandwidth bill. Do you intend to pay me the extra money for that direct MP3 link or should I just send a bill to Matt Haughey?
posted by ed at 12:39 PM on December 10, 2006

Oh hay, I know! Maybe you shouldn't put things wide open up on the intertubes if you ain't got change for the tollbooth.
posted by stenseng at 10:48 AM on December 11, 2006

The point is that a direct MP3 link from Metafilter was inconsiderate given that the MP3 was framed within a post. I certainly wouldn't do that to any personal site.
posted by ed at 1:08 PM on December 11, 2006