Ass painting

December 14, 2006 11:34 AM

Art teacher in Richmond, VA suspended after his students found a video on YouTube of him painting with his ass.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér (39 comments total)

shitty painting?
posted by ernie at 11:45 AM on December 14, 2006

It's hard out there for a pimp.
posted by hovercraft at 11:50 AM on December 14, 2006

And for better or for worse, as a school administrator, it's news like this that makes me weary or what I say and do on the Internet. Never know what might come back to haunt me. Lord knows students are good enough at finding myspace and facebook accounts the way it is.
posted by jmd82 at 11:51 AM on December 14, 2006

Well, it was a high school. What do you expect? It's not exactly a bastion of tolerance and wisdom.
posted by prostyle at 11:56 AM on December 14, 2006

I'm not clicking on any links in your post, Nathanial, because that would ruin the sublime nature of its headline. It is perfect as it is, without further explanation or investigation.
posted by boo_radley at 11:58 AM on December 14, 2006

Oh, come on ... who among us HASN'T painted with his ass?

*sound of crickets*




*slinks away*
posted by ZenMasterThis at 12:02 PM on December 14, 2006

If only Michael Creighton had a video of him writing with his ass.
posted by GuyZero at 12:25 PM on December 14, 2006

If you fire my ass, it will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
posted by hovercraft at 12:27 PM on December 14, 2006 [3 favorites]

If only Michel Gondry could solve a Rubik's cube with his ass.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 12:31 PM on December 14, 2006

Metafilter: It's not exactly a bastion of tolerance and wisdom.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 12:39 PM on December 14, 2006

This painting smells like ass.
posted by jefbla at 12:40 PM on December 14, 2006

If only we could suspend the president for governing with his ass...
posted by Aquaman at 12:41 PM on December 14, 2006

This is a rare and educational experience for his students, as I expect most of his other assworks are temporary installations.
posted by CynicalKnight at 12:43 PM on December 14, 2006

It sounds like the school board is about to give him the bum's rush.
posted by zarq at 12:50 PM on December 14, 2006

What next? Firing people for sculpting with zebras? Beadwork with burros? I am all for combining art and equines and am opposed to this meaningless firing.

Oh... wait...

Holy shitting Jesus.
posted by krippledkonscious at 12:51 PM on December 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

Having watched the video, I'd say the cattails and other assorted pointy bits of flowers, etc., are actually the more offensive parts of his paintings. He didn't paint those with his ass, folks.
posted by yhbc at 1:03 PM on December 14, 2006

So is that N.E.A. grant still on the table or did Mapplethorpe set the bar too high?
posted by Smedleyman at 1:04 PM on December 14, 2006

A teacher at my local high school had a profile with very embarrassing sexual preferences found out a passed around. It was gossip for a couple days and he got called a child molester but eventually people forgot about it. If only more teachers were so lucky.
posted by Suparnova at 1:08 PM on December 14, 2006

Butt is it art?

I love it when my hometown makes the news. This one's no iBook stampede, but it's hilarious anyway.
posted by emelenjr at 1:40 PM on December 14, 2006

What if we stampeded for iBooks and then painted the cases with our asses?
posted by secret about box at 1:49 PM on December 14, 2006

The paintings suck, but I'll bet he'll make bank of them now with all the publicity. Good for him.
posted by brundlefly at 1:59 PM on December 14, 2006

"bank on them," that is...
posted by brundlefly at 2:00 PM on December 14, 2006

I wonder what he can do with large pieces of furniture?
posted by Smedleyman at 2:10 PM on December 14, 2006

I realize this is a dumb question in these days of fundamentalist, puritanical fervor, but I can't help asking . . .

What on earth makes painting with a butt offensive enough to justify suspension? It's just a butt. Yeah, he was in a hideous thong, but I didn't see anything overtly sexual about what he did. He was just painting with his butt. What's the big deal? He might as well have been painting with his foot.
posted by treepour at 2:14 PM on December 14, 2006

Think of the CHILDREN!
posted by IronWolve at 2:28 PM on December 14, 2006

I don't think it's the mere fact that he paints with his butt, it's the fact that he's a teacher who paints with his butt. Won't someone think of the children high school kids' asses covered in paint?

Did I just create a new fetish for someone?
posted by emelenjr at 2:29 PM on December 14, 2006

Won't someone think of the children high school kids' asses covered in paint?

Did I just create a new fetish for someone?

Fetish nothing, I'm creating a teen drama out of this. Fox primetime, here I come.
posted by Subcommandante Cheese at 2:41 PM on December 14, 2006

If you fire my ass, it will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.


No No No. He's not into ceramics.
posted by The White Hat at 2:43 PM on December 14, 2006

I like how his real name is Stephen Murmer, and his super-secret disguise name is Stan Murmer.
posted by Partial Law at 3:03 PM on December 14, 2006

Yeah, he was in a hideous thong

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'll have you know that is a Ray Smuckles original.
posted by quite unimportant at 3:11 PM on December 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

My cat's butt smells like catt butt. Where does he put all that food?
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:11 PM on December 14, 2006

I like how his real name is Stephen Murmer, and his super-secret disguise name is Stan Murmer.

It was actually "Stan Murmur". Completely different.
posted by bob sarabia at 4:10 PM on December 14, 2006

Bummer.
posted by carter at 4:10 PM on December 14, 2006

You know who else used to paint with his ass?
posted by Smedleyman at 5:10 PM on December 14, 2006

I wonder if this guy hangs out with GWAR? They're from Richmond too, no?
posted by Pollomacho at 5:15 PM on December 14, 2006

Suspended for that????????

Way to go America :))
posted by zouhair at 5:57 PM on December 14, 2006

It's not that he's painting with his ass, it's that he's doing it half-ass.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:21 PM on December 14, 2006

HIS DISGUISE FAILED!
WARN THE OTHERS!
posted by tehloki at 12:22 AM on December 15, 2006

I think all art-teachers should be forced to hold lessons in butt-painting in their classes, regardless of age. For heaven's sake, when will this body-fascism end? Scandinavian and Eastern-European countries have no problems with co-ed showers and saunas. Boys and girls run around naked together from childhood.

So its an ass, so what?
posted by PigAlien at 6:08 AM on December 15, 2006