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A first-person history of a men's fisting club and some of the music that played there - from the golden age of gay free love and radical sexuality.
Susie Bright on leading a lesbian fisting workshop way back in the 80s.
Step-by-step instructions for anal and vaginal fisting and a longer book on the topic Summed up here by Dan Savage.
(Previously: Christian Fisting!) (Every link is utterly, completely NOT work safe)
posted by serazin (169 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
This really should have been the first post of 2007...
posted by horsemuth at 9:24 AM on December 31, 2006


The anal link is broken. Thank God.
posted by phaedon at 9:26 AM on December 31, 2006


Put a fist in ya butt
and wave it till ya bust a nut....


sorry

Seriously, on behalf of all the straight men on this site, I'd just like to say:


OWWWW!

posted by jonmc at 9:26 AM on December 31, 2006


The first rule of men's fisting club is...
posted by birdherder at 9:28 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


wow
posted by lazaruslong at 9:28 AM on December 31, 2006


Great info! Now to convince the wife...
posted by arcticwoman at 9:29 AM on December 31, 2006


anybody seen my wedding ring??
posted by matty at 9:34 AM on December 31, 2006


That's not a sockpuppet! That's my wife!
posted by hal9k at 9:36 AM on December 31, 2006 [3 favorites]


I don't want to be exposed to anal fisting.
I am NOT homophobic; I just suffer from hemorrhoids.
posted by wendell at 9:38 AM on December 31, 2006


jonmc writes "sorry

"Seriously, on behalf of all the straight men on this site, I'd just like to say:

"

"OWWWW!
"

Why would fisting hurt straight men more than gay men?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:38 AM on December 31, 2006 [4 favorites]


anybody seen my wedding ring??

It's in a world of shit, dude.
posted by jonmc at 9:38 AM on December 31, 2006


To quote J.B.S. Haldane in a context that might suprise him;
"The Universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we CAN suppose"
posted by Luddite at 9:38 AM on December 31, 2006


...and matty also lost his watch...
posted by wendell at 9:39 AM on December 31, 2006


dirtynumb, please refer to the comment before yours...
posted by wendell at 9:40 AM on December 31, 2006


And correcting Luddite: "The Universe is not only kinkier than we suppose, but kinkier than we CAN suppose"
posted by wendell at 9:42 AM on December 31, 2006


...and matty also lost his watch...

Well, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking,....
posted by jonmc at 9:43 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


+1 for Lesbians.
posted by The Confessor at 9:44 AM on December 31, 2006 [2 favorites]


...and matty also lost his watch...

Well, it takes a licking and keeps on ticking,....


That's almost nastier than the original post! Now, the only thing that could make it worse is hearing "Cleanup in Room 3!" over the loudspeakers...
posted by matty at 9:48 AM on December 31, 2006


wendell, it was a pretty dumb comment. The goatse guy is a straight Italian (seriously). And believe me, those of us homos not into fisting* are pretty freaked out by it too.

Seriously, gah.

*almost all of us
posted by kavasa at 9:50 AM on December 31, 2006


Guns are so last century. Now you'll have to pry yourself from my cold, dead fist.
posted by hal9k at 9:53 AM on December 31, 2006 [2 favorites]


Eww.
posted by grytpype at 9:54 AM on December 31, 2006


The goatse guy is a straight Italian (seriously).

seriously, as in, there's seriously such a thing as a straight italian?
posted by phaedon at 9:55 AM on December 31, 2006


Why would fisting hurt straight men more than gay men?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy


Um, lack of practice?
posted by The Deej at 9:55 AM on December 31, 2006


Dude, it's not so much that it would hurt more. It's just the first visceral reaction to the whole idea.
posted by jonmc at 9:57 AM on December 31, 2006


Where's the animated .gif of the fractalized fisting nebula.
One guy, fisting two, who are each fisting two, again who are fisting two, and so on, and so on..

Art project MeFi meetup anyone?
posted by Balisong at 9:58 AM on December 31, 2006


Seriously, on behalf of all the straight men on this site, I'd just like to say: "OWWWW!"

And I'll say it on behalf of all the gay men: "OWWWW!"
posted by mijuta at 9:59 AM on December 31, 2006


And I'll say it on behalf of those I've done it to: "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."

However, for myself, I'd say "Are you fucking kidding me?"
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:03 AM on December 31, 2006


So, to sum up the comments so far:

Ha ha! Fisting is soooo funny! Sexual practices I've never tried make me uncomfortable! The thought of receptive sex makes me feel embarrassed! The idea that my girlfriend might enjoy something larger than my dick is very shameful! Gay people are weird!

I delayed posting this for about a week because I knew there would be a lot of dumb joke responses, but I actually think that the first article in particular is an interesting piece of history. And hey, yawl can scoff about fisting if ya like. Enjoy the missionary position!
posted by serazin at 10:04 AM on December 31, 2006 [10 favorites]


Does the fact that I'd read that first article before make me a pervert?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:04 AM on December 31, 2006


And I'll say it on behalf of all the gay men: "OWWWW!"

Let's get some straight women and lesbians and say it in four part harmony....
posted by jonmc at 10:05 AM on December 31, 2006


How else would we get the gerbils out?
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 10:05 AM on December 31, 2006


Ha ha! Fisting is soooo funny! Sexual practices I've never tried make me uncomfortable! The thought of receptive sex makes me feel embarrassed! The idea that my girlfriend might enjoy something larger than my dick is very shameful! Gay people are weird!

Um, no, actually

First of all, like every odd sex practice, it kind of begs for some of these jokes, which are good-natured goofs is all.

And far be it from me to rain on anybody's parade, but at the same time I'm not gonna lie and say I think it's a neat idea.

Enjoy the missionary position!

Yes, because I don't want to be fisted by a one-eted midget in a Nazi uniform, I must be horribly repressed. Gimme a break.
posted by jonmc at 10:08 AM on December 31, 2006 [3 favorites]


That's why you tie a string to their tails, gesamt.

Or so I've heard.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:08 AM on December 31, 2006


Sometimes people are deeply amusing. Cannot. Stop. Giggling.
posted by FunkyHelix at 10:10 AM on December 31, 2006


Thank god people can't post images.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:14 AM on December 31, 2006


Excellent post, brings back quite a few memories, thanks...

(Can I tell you that it brings a tear to my eye everytime someone nods at the old "I don't want to be exposed to anus" riff? I had no idea that would become one of the longer-running MeFi injokes.)
posted by adamgreenfield at 10:14 AM on December 31, 2006


Excellent post, brings back quite a few memories, thanks...

(Can I tell you that it brings a tear to my eye everytime someone nods at the old "I don't want to be exposed to anus" riff? I had no idea that would become one of the longer-running MeFi injokes.)
posted by adamgreenfield at 10:15 AM on December 31, 2006


This thread is useless without pictures.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:16 AM on December 31, 2006


Speaking (twice) of which, I really hope this doesn't end up on the sidebar.
posted by evilcolonel at 10:19 AM on December 31, 2006


Another take on the fist.

A little more about the author of the first link/article, Jack Fritscher.

A history of gay bath houses [nsfw]. Gay history and literature.
posted by nickyskye at 10:22 AM on December 31, 2006 [2 favorites]


"What you got to understand is there is a smell in here that is going to outlast religion."
(pinched from the hands down (or in) best film of 2006 "Kenny")
posted by Onanist at 10:24 AM on December 31, 2006


This thread is useless without pictures.

I've seen pictures of fisting. What I really want to see a picture of is the double-handed fisting described towards the end of Larry Kramer's book, Faggots.

Is that really possible, or was Kramer using poetic license?

Actually, Google tells me I can find such pictures at a site called fetishclub.com:

"See pussies and assholes stretched to the max by single and double-handed fisting!"

That'd sort your haemorrhoids out!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:27 AM on December 31, 2006


serazin: Ha ha! Fisting is soooo funny! Sexual practices I've never tried make me uncomfortable!

Ha ha! I can make fun of people for honestly displaying their reactions to a story instead of toeing somebody's idea of the correct line! And that makes me a better person!

IOW: Lighten up, Francis.
posted by lodurr at 10:28 AM on December 31, 2006


I summon the Stark Fist of Removal!
posted by SPrintF at 10:29 AM on December 31, 2006


I delayed posting this for about a week because I knew there would be a lot of dumb joke responses...

haha dude, thanks for the extra week!
posted by phaedon at 10:29 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


So, um, I got big hands! Does that count for something?
posted by Talanvor at 10:30 AM on December 31, 2006


Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

Fist of Fury

Drunken Fist

Buddha Iron Fist

Fist of the North Star

etcetera.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:32 AM on December 31, 2006


lodurr

I knew there would be some jokes and some of the jokes were actually funny. I was just becoming irritated with the downward spiral that was happening, which I do think came from everyone's (understandable even) discomfort around an unusual (to them) sexual practice.
posted by serazin at 10:34 AM on December 31, 2006


I think it is nice that this post has such prominence when my post last night to the full video of Saddam's hanging was instantly deleted, despite the fact that it drew attention to the fact that it was linking from Fox News... So be it. Prurient posts and comments about fisting obviously matter more.
posted by A189Nut at 10:36 AM on December 31, 2006


five fresh fists
posted by knave at 10:37 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


t's just the first visceral reaction to the whole idea.

You've never heard of it before? How many times can you have a first visceral reaction?
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:41 AM on December 31, 2006


Great post, serazin. That list of music, especially, goes a long way toward setting the secne and adding sensory detail.

(And the discussion's probably pretty much what you expected, right? A bunch of shabby, time-worn jokes, with shiny spots that reflect the poster's discomfort and unease. Some people insisting that their own opinions and experiences are valid for everybody. Some people falling over themselves to point out that, while they're open-minded and GGG and whatnot, they might make an exception for this particular perversion. And, of course, the occasional worthwhile contribution.)
posted by box at 10:44 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: A bunch of shabby, time-worn jokes, with shiny spots that reflect the poster's discomfort and unease.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:48 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


NickySkye, that history of gay bathhouses was a real find. Thanks.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:49 AM on December 31, 2006


This is so gay.
posted by ninjew at 10:50 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


Perhaps a video of Saddam being fisted would have been the ideal compromise.
posted by A189Nut at 10:52 AM on December 31, 2006 [2 favorites]


perhaps an iron-fisted policy in iraq?
posted by phaedon at 10:54 AM on December 31, 2006


Wrist watch...Crisco
posted by TedW at 10:56 AM on December 31, 2006


Some people insisting that their own opinions and experiences are valid for everybody.

No. I insist they're valid for me.
posted by jonmc at 10:57 AM on December 31, 2006


the disco versions of Ravel's "Bolero"
Music from "2001: A Space Odyssey,"

Great. Now I won't be able to help but equate two of my favorite (minus the disco bit) classical pieces with shoving my clenched digits in somebody's rectum.

But seriously, serazin, good post. I'll definitely check out all the links. Would you happen to know when fisting was first historically documented?

And A189Nut: Bitter much? Take it up in MeTalk if you feel you must. Jeez.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:58 AM on December 31, 2006


OK, well, I found it interesting. I remember Amazon had a bug when "The Hand In The Bush: the Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting" came top of recommendations associated with some inappropriate other products. But the internets aren't able to remind me what they were.
posted by imperium at 10:58 AM on December 31, 2006


PeterMcDermott writes "I've seen pictures of fisting. What I really want to see a picture of is the double-handed fisting described towards the end of Larry Kramer's book, Faggots.

"Is that really possible, or was Kramer using poetic license? "


Yes, it's possible. No, you don't want to see it.

A189Nut writes "I think it is nice that this post has such prominence when my post last night to the full video of Saddam's hanging was instantly deleted, despite the fact that it drew attention to the fact that it was linking from Fox News... So be it. Prurient posts and comments about fisting obviously matter more."

There is a massive difference between linking to a video of a slightly edgy sex act, and watching murder in action. If you can't see that, there is no hope for you.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:58 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


box: come on. you're smarter than that. Some harmles jokes does not equal homophobia, and not noddding your head in fascination at every kink in the universe does not equal 'repressed.'
posted by jonmc at 11:01 AM on December 31, 2006


Good post.

I wonder though- where is there room to fit an entire forearm in anyone? Now that scares me.
posted by sunshinesky at 11:01 AM on December 31, 2006


There is a massive difference between linking to a video of a slightly edgy sex act, and watching murder in action. If you can't see that, there is no hope for you.

Who gives a shit if there is a massive difference? Is that, like, supposed to be a reason? What was the reason for the deletion, A189Nut?
posted by phaedon at 11:03 AM on December 31, 2006


Sunshinesky: Somewhere in here I'd suppose...
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:07 AM on December 31, 2006


And hey, yawl can scoff about fisting if ya like. Enjoy the missionary position!

I don't think I would care much for anal fisting but I can tell you that the missionary position freaks me out even more. Just because I'm not into the idea of fisting doesn't mean I have a bland sex life...thanks for assuming though.
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 11:09 AM on December 31, 2006


Oh my!
posted by delmoi at 11:17 AM on December 31, 2006


Your ring? Screw your ring.

Look, buddy, if we find my car keys we can drive out of here.
posted by loquacious at 11:17 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


surely this is why God gave us fists. and rectums.
posted by quonsar at 11:18 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


The first rule of the fisting club is that ......EEEEEEYAAAAARGH !
posted by elpapacito at 11:19 AM on December 31, 2006


surely this is why God gave us fists. and rectums.

Intelligent design indeed.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:20 AM on December 31, 2006


surely this is why God gave us fists. and rectums.

And elephants. And fish. In your pants.
posted by loquacious at 11:23 AM on December 31, 2006


And the inquisitiveness to ask, "What else can be made to fit in this hole?"
posted by knave at 11:24 AM on December 31, 2006


i have a fist. in my pants.
posted by quonsar at 11:25 AM on December 31, 2006


A tight ass gathers no fist.
posted by knave at 11:31 AM on December 31, 2006 [2 favorites]


For some reason I don't feel like I need to apologize for being less than 100% comfortable with the idea of another man wearing my sphincter like a stevedore's cap.
posted by The Straightener at 11:32 AM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


phaedon writes "Who gives a shit if there is a massive difference? Is that, like, supposed to be a reason? What was the reason for the deletion, A189Nut?"

Oh my God. Are you joking?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:33 AM on December 31, 2006


The Straightener writes "For some reason I don't feel like I need to apologize for being less than 100% comfortable with the idea of another man wearing my sphincter like a stevedore's cap."

Like a ventriloquist's dummy. The cap thing is only for the seriously hardcore.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:33 AM on December 31, 2006


Like a ventriloquist's dummy.

Oh, that's no biggie. In fact, a Russain powerlifter with forearms like Virginia hams is buried in my asshole up to the elbow as I type this.
posted by The Straightener at 11:36 AM on December 31, 2006


Is this fisting something I would need to be If I Had An Anus to not have heard of?

Convoluted in-joke aside, cool post, serazin!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:37 AM on December 31, 2006


For some reason I don't feel like I need to apologize for being less than 100% comfortable with the idea of another man wearing my sphincter like a stevedore's cap.
posted by The Straightener at 11:32 AM PST on December 31


Eponysterical!!
posted by loquacious at 11:40 AM on December 31, 2006


another man wearing my sphincter like a stevedore's cap."

Like a ventriloquist's dummy.


"It's Howdy Doody time...."
posted by jonmc at 11:43 AM on December 31, 2006


"


IF YOU WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY WHERE TONY BENNETT LEFT HIS HEART, chances are you’ll find it in a footlocker at the handball palace called the Catacombs. Saturday nights, by invitation only, the baaad and the beautiful haul ass into San Francisco’s Mission District." --sort of suggests that Tony spent time there....I doubt it though.
posted by Postroad at 11:45 AM on December 31, 2006


Ventriloquists go in through the back, not the ass. We save that for later.

Signed,

A guy who makes a lot of movies with a ventriloquist dummy.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:46 AM on December 31, 2006


so the response to the implied question, "why are videos of saddam executed being taken down and fistfucking manifestos remain up" is: "Oh my God. Are you joking?"

as far as i can tell, the post was taken down due to a preexisting open thread. so please stop trying to bait me into thinking that we are having an argument over the "explicit" nature of posts. because we're not. so put a pink sock in it.

posted by phaedon at 11:47 AM on December 31, 2006


IF YOU WANT TO KNOW EXACTLY WHERE TONY BENNETT LEFT HIS HEART, chances are you’ll find it in a footlocker at the handball palace called the Catacombs...sort of suggests that Tony spent time there....I doubt it though.

I doubt it, too. Tony has a cold, cold heart.
posted by jonmc at 11:56 AM on December 31, 2006


Well played, loquacious. I did a Command-F for "keys" in preparation for my snark, and found you beat me to it.
posted by emelenjr at 12:11 PM on December 31, 2006



Come on you guys!! can we not have a serious conversation about fisting anymore? What has Metafilter come to?
posted by bukharin at 12:15 PM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


I expect one pays for the thrill of fisting in one's senior years.

OTOH, I suspect most fistees don't realistically expect to live long enough to regret their decisions.

Anal stim is fine to me, but I'm not going to do anything that leaves my rectum an overstretched, unclosed, hemorrhoidal mess that forces me into diapers or suicide. I like having the ability to control my poop.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:16 PM on December 31, 2006


OTOH, I suspect most fistees don't realistically expect to live long enough to regret their decisions.

The fist and the furious?
Live fist, die young?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:18 PM on December 31, 2006


This thread is comedy gold.

On a more serious note, even though I am not a Furry, I defend the rights of Furries to do whatever it is they do (NO, I DO NOT NEED DETAILS) for sexual pleasure. Similarly, though I am not into single or dual fisted fisting, I defend the rights of those who are to do it. Similarly, though I am not into teh gay, I defend the rights of those who are to be gay, and to enjoy gay sex. This is the reasonable, adult thing.

But I also think it's reasonable for me to have the goatse or tubgirl or whatever reaction when it's my first time.

But also also, if the thread says it's about fisting, and you don't like the idea of being fisted, are you really going to claim that it's inappropriate that you were given the opportunity to click on the links?

I have an idea: let's use adult judgement and adult responsibility on Metafilter.
posted by kalessin at 12:18 PM on December 31, 2006


Weirdly, I have not been able to get Night Ranger out of my head since seeing the words "Christian Fisting" in this post several hours ago.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:26 PM on December 31, 2006 [2 favorites]


I thought this was a really balanced, interesting post on a common sexual practise that did a great job of not assuming gender or sexual orientation. I was looking forward to a nice discussion.

Instead, we get the boyzone. *yawn*
posted by QIbHom at 12:36 PM on December 31, 2006


I think it is nice that this post has such prominence when my post last night to the full video of Saddam's hanging was instantly deleted, despite the fact that it drew attention to the fact that it was linking from Fox News... So be it. Prurient posts and comments about fisting obviously matter more.

The day that a death-fetish video of an execution stays on Mefi, while a well-researched post about consensual sexual practices that form part of the cultural history of homosexuality is deleted is the day that I hand back my membership card.
posted by jokeefe at 12:37 PM on December 31, 2006


You ain't never had no sex until you been hung upside down in a sling and had a leather boy shove his fist up your poop chute and grab your gall bladder.

True dat.
posted by grytpype at 12:41 PM on December 31, 2006


First, it's not a ventriloquist's dummy. It's a sock puppet.

It's not even a question of size. Look at a fist and ask yourself "Is this a square peg for a round hole?"

Okay, so far we've found a ring, a watch, a set of keys and Tony Bennett's heart. Now if you want it to be useful, make it a cell phone set on 'vibrate'.

My apologies for contributing something insensitive, but I have no problem with making jokes about sexual practices I've never tried. Come to think of it, I have no problem with making jokes about sexual practices I HAVE tried; my partners have always appreciated my ability to make them laugh - I just sometimes didn't feel good about WHEN I made them laugh.
posted by wendell at 12:44 PM on December 31, 2006


awesome post. Thanks!
posted by wemayfreeze at 12:48 PM on December 31, 2006


QIbHom: "great job of not assuming gender or sexual orientation" immediately followed by (disparagingly) "boyzone". i almost favorited you for the irony. almost, but not quite.
posted by bruce at 12:51 PM on December 31, 2006


Fifty years ago we'd have had you upside-down with a fucking fork fist up your ass.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:52 PM on December 31, 2006


Oh, and:

Metafilter: I like having the ability to control my poop.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:53 PM on December 31, 2006


HULK FISTS!
posted by Artw at 12:56 PM on December 31, 2006


Those clubs were never just fisting clubs, but general sex and/or s/m clubs.

(and my whole life i've been told i have perfect hands for it, but i've never done it to anyone fully)
posted by amberglow at 12:56 PM on December 31, 2006


"Weirdly, I have not been able to get Night Ranger out of my head since seeing the words "Christian Fisting" in this post several hours ago."

Fisting Christians oh the time has come
So get some lube and shove it in your bum
today
OK
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:57 PM on December 31, 2006


Also: FISTO!
posted by Artw at 12:58 PM on December 31, 2006


Like a ventriloquist's dummy. The cap thing is only for the seriously hardcore.

I've always said "like a handpuppet"

And a great joke that's been around 100 years is "great time last night...have you seen my watch?"

: >
posted by amberglow at 12:59 PM on December 31, 2006


"nd a great joke that's been around 100 years is 'great time last night...have you seen my watch?'"

Also, when Ronald Reagan had his polyps removed: "Know what else they found up there? Rock Hudson's watch."
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:04 PM on December 31, 2006


I was looking forward to a nice discussion.

A nice discussion about people ramming their arms up to their elbows up another person's ass.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:10 PM on December 31, 2006


It's not even a question of size. Look at a fist and ask yourself "Is this a square peg for a round hole?"

From recollection, the opening of a vagina isn't the same shape as a penis either, but that rarely seems to pose any problems.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:17 PM on December 31, 2006


Oldies but goodies.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:18 PM on December 31, 2006


There is a massive difference between linking to a video of a slightly edgy sex act, and watching murder in action.

i wonder if watching video of an abortion would make dnab squirm on his favorite forearm?
posted by quonsar at 1:31 PM on December 31, 2006


Faulty DNA.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:37 PM on December 31, 2006


From recollection, the opening of a vagina isn't the same shape as a penis either, but that rarely seems to pose any problems.

Oh, come, now.

We're talking about stretching out one's anus to several inches in diameter. In a virgin anus, that'll cause severe muscle tearing. The equivalent in vaginal sex would be fucking a baby. It just ain't built for the act.

Fisting is an extreme sex behaviour. Let's not be so stupid as to paint it as a normal and unremarkable behaviour. It's straight-out freaksex.

And again, I feel I'll have to repeat that I'm not slagging any of you fistees or fisters. As long as you are consenting adults, do whatever turns you on. Ain't nobodies business if you do.

But for the sake of sanity, let's not go so P.C. that we can't call freaksex for what it is!
posted by five fresh fish at 1:46 PM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


i wonder if watching video of an abortion would make dnab squirm on his favorite forearm?

probably not because, as he stated earlier in the thread, he's not into fisting. he might however enjoy watching you get fisted by anne coulter while you watch an abortion video. but just for the laughs, i'm sure.
posted by mijuta at 1:49 PM on December 31, 2006


Anal fisting really needn't be classified as a sexual act at all.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:53 PM on December 31, 2006


Once your hand is in, it's a commitment. When you're in past the wide point of your hand, your lover's vagina will envelop your fist . . . .

Truer words were never spoken.

Me, I've never fisted anyone in my life but it sounds like something I'd like to try at least once.
posted by jason's_planet at 1:55 PM on December 31, 2006


I'd like to fist anne coulter but then I'm not sure her anal muscles would let go when I'm done and then I'd have to walk around for a long time with her stuck like that which would make it hard for me to get other things done. At least with that arm.
posted by hojoki at 1:56 PM on December 31, 2006


I'd like to fist anne coulter but then I'm not sure her anal muscles would let go when I'm done

I'm fairly sure the teeth would sprout and bite your hand clean off. Not advised, dude.
posted by jonmc at 2:03 PM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


I was looking forward to a nice discussion.

Instead, we get the boyzone. *yawn*


I was looking forward to people doing what they could be expected to do, which was take advantage of the opportunity to make obvious jokes about a marginal sexual practice while a few PC-bluenoses kvetched about people not taking it seriously. Instead, I got... wait....
posted by lodurr at 2:20 PM on December 31, 2006


jokeefe: the day that I hand back my membership card.

Well, I'm offended.


I didn't get a card. All I got was a lousy email.
posted by lodurr at 2:22 PM on December 31, 2006


Another woman brought up that the peril isn't necessarily for the fistee, it’s for the fister. She once had a lover orgasm while her hand was curled up inside, and the contractions broke a small bone in her hand.

Ouch.

Her experience prompted a lot of handy hints on how to get out of a woman's vagina in a hurry when your hand is caught in a vacuum.

Methods include: pressing gently on her lower abdomen, or using a finger on your free hand to pull a little on the vaginal opening, thereby breaking the suction.

We moved onto orgasm. My experience with being fisted was that sometimes I felt like I was on a long dreamy ride, which produces a meditative feeling, but not the high pitch that would lead toward orgasm. It was such a powerful feeling that I wasn’t unsatisfied and even surprised to end up climaxing after all.


Great post, serazin! Happy New Year!
posted by jason's_planet at 2:25 PM on December 31, 2006


Well, I'm offended.


I didn't get a card.


Really? I got a card, gang colors for the back of my leather jacket, a tattoo, and a ceremonial wine goblet. Matt's servants are getting lazy lately.
posted by jonmc at 2:27 PM on December 31, 2006


I wonder though- where is there room to fit an entire forearm in anyone? Now that scares me.
posted by sunshinesky at 11:01 AM PST on December 31 [+]
[!]


Mr.Hands.wmv
posted by Balisong at 2:43 PM on December 31, 2006


What happened next is almost beyond words for me. As the fister, there is the enormous responsibility of literally having someone's life in your hands. If proper caution is not used, it is very easy to do internal damage to your partner. It is this danger, and this responsibility, that lends the edge to the entire experience.

Watching your partner respond to the sensations that are going on within his body. Realizing that you have this power of such great pleasure over someone. Feeling the pulse of his blood as it races through his body. Placing the back of your hand against the upper part of his rectum and feeling the beat of his heart and the expansion of his lungs as he takes in a breath. Simultaneously watching and feeling as his whole body is wracked by waves of orgasm. Realizing that you've shot all over yourself and him without ever touching yourself. All from the fear, excitement, and power that has come over you both.


Just sayin'.
posted by mediareport at 3:02 PM on December 31, 2006


I imagine this practice was not conjured up initially by a physician. Having looked inside numerous colons, the first words that spring to mind are hardly "accomodating", "elastic", or "forgiving".

Another woman brought up that the peril isn't necessarily for the fistee, it’s for the fister. She once had a lover orgasm while her hand was curled up inside, and the contractions broke a small bone in her hand.

That's beyond bullshit. It's not even conceivable enough to be in the same galaxy as bullshit.
posted by docpops at 3:07 PM on December 31, 2006


docpops - bullshit back atcha. Have you ever had your fist inside a vagina while it's contracting from an orgasm?
posted by serazin at 3:14 PM on December 31, 2006


Have you ever had your fist inside a vagina while it's contracting from an orgasm?

I've had my weiner. With that description, one would expect that it would now be 18 inches long and as thing as spaghetti.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:22 PM on December 31, 2006


Here's the deletion reason for A189Nut's yanked execution post: you can eitehr take your lumps in the currently open thread with this link, or take it elsewhere, thanks. And BlackLeotardFront had already posted a link to the hanging video in the existing Saddam thread 3 hours before A189Nut decided it needed to be on the front page. Comparing what's basically a deleted double to this - or any other smutty MeFi post - is ridiculous. Although it is interesting that R.Mutt's comment here seems to imply Fark wouldn't link to the hanging video on its front page.
posted by mediareport at 3:37 PM on December 31, 2006


May you all die horrible, dishonorable deaths.

Happy New Year!
posted by Burhanistan at 3:37 PM on December 31, 2006


Thanks for the best fucking FPP of 2006. Happy New Year!
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 3:41 PM on December 31, 2006


I can't imagine being on the recieving end of any of this.. however, being the fister looks pretty fun!
posted by tehloki at 3:52 PM on December 31, 2006


'There is a massive difference between linking to a video of a slightly edgy sex act, and watching murder in action.'

Yeah, slightly edgy sex acts don't get me off anymore.
posted by jcterminal at 3:57 PM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


*I thought Fistivus had ended.*

Physical acts aside, I don't think I could ever come to terms with the persistent smell of ass up to one's elbow. Or is it proper decorum to only fist with the left and eat with the right? If your hand is tickling the pyloric sphincter, I suppose that the hepatitus is the last thing on your mind.

I grew up on a farm, and I have a few unpleasant memories of watching our vet insert his arm up to the shoulder in cow's asses to see if they were pregnant, I assume to feel the uterus. But after seeing this repeated hundreds upon hundreds of times, I don't think I could ever find the practice, bovine or human, to be the least bit sexually thrilling. Of course, some people would probably pay handsomely to participate in such decadent deviance.
posted by isopraxis at 3:58 PM on December 31, 2006


If you take your sexual practices so seriously you can't laugh about them, you're probably doing it wrong.
posted by Jimbob at 4:22 PM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


Is it too late for a Manos: Hands of Fate joke?
posted by GrammarMoses at 4:31 PM on December 31, 2006


(fists self to the elbow while singing "I'm a little teapot...") Happy New Years to all.
posted by hal9k at 4:42 PM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


The "Catacombs" link provides a factiod: a half pound of Crisco per fistitious experience.

Anal Trans Fat: A hidden cardio threat?
posted by rdone at 5:02 PM on December 31, 2006


Oh, well. I suppose I am beyond hope then. I repeat that the point of the post was to point out that Fox News carried the link. Forgive my inferior morality.
posted by A189Nut at 5:04 PM on December 31, 2006


I was going to comment, but the way this thread is going, 'twould be a waste of keystrokes...
posted by Samizdata at 6:13 PM on December 31, 2006


I should think a pair of elbow-length gloves would be de rigeur. Besides, latex is slipperyier than a hairy forearm.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:49 PM on December 31, 2006


Re: the music list, what, no "Crisco Disco"?!
posted by Scram at 6:50 PM on December 31, 2006


Alright. It's a kink thread, so I have to post. But, uh... I've never fisted. I've never been fisted. I never want to fist or get fisted. I did see someone do it once but, I must confess, it didn't make that much of an impression on me. I have some friends who do it but, eh, collectively my friends do just about everything.

Ask me about the the hogtying demonstration or the presentation on extended orgasm; those were pretty interesting.
posted by Clay201 at 7:08 PM on December 31, 2006


Enjoy the missionary position!

Your favorite sexual position sucks.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:10 PM on December 31, 2006


*
posted by lekvar at 7:10 PM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


Fisting and God's Will.

God also has things to say about threesomes: they're groovy for straight men.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:24 PM on December 31, 2006


So, the "can fish smell snickerdoodles" post gets 4 responses, but the "hey, let's see how many fisting sites I can fit into an FPP" gets a hundred or so?

MetaFilter: like a fist in the anus.
posted by FormlessOne at 9:52 PM on December 31, 2006


Can fish smell a fist up your ass?
posted by Balisong at 10:43 PM on December 31, 2006


I need to go on record here: The FFFish have never been up anyone's ass.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:48 PM on December 31, 2006


1/2 pound of Crisco per butt, on average.

I think you're all missing the real threat -- high cholesterol and heart disease.
posted by bardic at 10:52 PM on December 31, 2006


The first rule of men's fisting club is...

Put your hand in another man's bottom?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:18 PM on December 31, 2006 [1 favorite]



docpops: "I imagine this practice was not conjured up initially by a physician. Having looked inside numerous colons, the first words that spring to mind are hardly "accomodating", "elastic", or "forgiving"."

Ah, doctors. Wherever they look they see risks.

Show Mount Everest to a doctor and all they see is frostbite, hypothermia and broken bones.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:32 AM on January 1, 2007


When I suggested sticking your arm down someone's throat and gently massaging their stomach cavity, everyone's all "that's gross", but sticking it up someone's ass? No problem.

Just remember, your ca-RAY-zee fetish is someone else's missionary position.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:27 AM on January 1, 2007


Thanks for this post; the history links are fascinating!

And to all you commenter whose only reaction is "gross" or "hysterical"; you need to get out a little.
posted by Nelson at 9:36 AM on January 1, 2007


Just remember, your ca-RAY-zee fetish is someone else's missionary position.

Actually, my ca-RAY-zee fetish is Hi-Lo Split for Advanced Players.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:43 AM on January 1, 2007


I'm all for people having big fun, but I have two inter-related concerns about fisting that nobody ever seems to address in all of the pro-fisting columns/articles I read.

First, stretching. Granted, the vagina is very elastic, but the anus really isn't. Not even BME will ask the goatse.cx guy what happens he hasn't been to the can yet today and he sneezes. That just seems like that could lead to ... Depends.

The other is that you're setting the bar quite a bit higher. Once you've had someone use you as a sock puppet a few times, wouldn't your standard issue penis (note: lesbians exempted from this, unless they're into realistic toys) will no longer suffice? "Oh, I can hardly even feel this, this is nowhere near as good as someone trying to punch out my soul."
posted by adipocere at 9:56 AM on January 1, 2007


Once you've had someone use you as a sock puppet a few times, wouldn't your standard issue penis (note: lesbians exempted from this, unless they're into realistic toys) will no longer suffice?

Not at all. It's really two different things entirely.

Or so I've heard.
posted by jokeefe at 10:19 AM on January 1, 2007


*sniffs fist*
posted by quonsar at 11:05 AM on January 1, 2007


As a member of the homosexual club, I've never once considered the thought of a Mack Truck being driven into my brownstar potentially enjoyable. A minibus, maybe, but I draw the line there.
posted by moonbird at 12:46 PM on January 1, 2007


sniff your own damn fist, quonsar.
posted by jonmc at 1:27 PM on January 1, 2007


Thanks so much for this, serazin — now I finally understand both the catchphrase and Mrs. Kramden's cheek-spreading grin.
posted by rob511 at 2:09 PM on January 1, 2007


I need to go on record here: The FFFish have never been up anyone's ass.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:48 PM PST on December 31 [+]
[!]


Don't worry Five Fresh Fish, no one would ever accuse you of having had sex!


And adipocere, if you're genuinely interested, there is little to no actual medical research on fisting (if you search medline, you'll find two pages that refer mostly to increased receptivity to infection due to small tears of the tissues. This type of tearing occures even in more orthodox heterosexual intercourse) so the only thing we have to go on is the experience of actual fisters.

In terms of vaginal penitration, women who enjoy being fisted often also enjoy penetration with smaller objects, single fingers, or even penisis. If you're a guy who likes to fuck gals, you might find that you can get her off even better with a finger or two than your penis, because you have more control of how you move your fingers. The human body and sexual desire don't work in the way you describe - most people don't need to continually escelate the amount of penetration they receive to receive pleasure.

As for anal stretching - if you are gentle, slow, use lubricant, and do not force the muscles open, I don't think there is any evidence of that even vigerous anal play of this sort leads to incontinence.
posted by serazin at 5:34 PM on January 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


I have found a picture that is SFW, but so appropriate for this discussion for all the wrong reasons. Imperial Russian Ballet.

This is the first time I've actually regretted loss of the IMG tag.
posted by wendell at 6:06 PM on January 1, 2007


First, stretching. Granted, the vagina is very elastic, but the anus really isn't. Not even BME will ask the goatse.cx guy what happens he hasn't been to the can yet today and he sneezes. That just seems like that could lead to ... Depends.


According to Dan Savage and the various experts he calls in, fisting done right doesn't cause damage. It's not a matter of stretching so much as a matter of control and relaxation of the muscles. Done incorrectly all sorts of horrid things can happen of course. I don't have time to look up the articles and link them, but this position of his is well documented repeatedly if you care to look it up in his column (online at the stranger).

He might have an agenda, and he might just be spreading a sugercoated truth, and his experts might be idiots with no real knowledge of human biology who cover up a conspiracy of former fisters who have died and become incontinent.

Hell, I have similar questions about anal sex in general. Everywhere I look online I see pretty much the above response, but as someone considering the act it's a lot to put on faith. Continence is kindof a big deal.
posted by Rictic at 6:12 PM on January 1, 2007


*died or become incontinent.
posted by Rictic at 6:13 PM on January 1, 2007


Christian fister oh the time has come.
And you know that you're the only one
To say
O.K.
Where you going What you looking for
You know those boys
Don't want to play no more with you
It's true

Imodium
What's your price for Christ?
In fisting mister right
You'll be alright tonight

Etc.

writes itself really
posted by Smedleyman at 8:45 PM on January 1, 2007


Why would fisting hurt straight men more than gay men?

Because women have smaller hands.
posted by biffa at 2:34 AM on January 2, 2007


That's the wrong way roundisn't it? What a great first post from me for 2007.
posted by biffa at 2:35 AM on January 2, 2007


kavasa writes "The goatse guy is a straight Italian (seriously)."

I guess I'm not the only one who noticed that he's wearing a wedding ring in that famous photo.
posted by clevershark at 8:59 PM on January 2, 2007


serazin writes "I delayed posting this for about a week because I knew there would be a lot of dumb joke responses"

It's a post about fisting. What did you expect?
posted by clevershark at 9:00 PM on January 2, 2007


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