The man behind the legend.

January 13, 2007 10:33 AM

≡{_Θ}≡ (NSFW) Is Kirk Johnson really goatse man? Wikipedia has deleted the name more than once, but there is the mole.
posted by and hosted from Uranus (57 comments total)

Hosted from Uranus, indeed....
posted by Zero Gravitas at 10:38 AM on January 13, 2007

So, people study this issue? In depth and up close?
posted by Iron Rat at 10:39 AM on January 13, 2007

Ah, internet detectives. Is there nothing you cannot ferret out?
posted by chrismear at 10:41 AM on January 13, 2007

I'm too scared to click on anything of the links, I just wanted to point out that the post is eponysterical.
posted by amyms at 10:45 AM on January 13, 2007

I thought everyone knew his name was Kirk Johnson. wtf?
posted by dabitch at 10:45 AM on January 13, 2007

so i'm right not to click on any of these links then? can i get an amen?
posted by nola at 10:48 AM on January 13, 2007

First two links have bad pictures. Last three links just have text.
posted by chrismear at 10:51 AM on January 13, 2007

There is no anus on any of the links. Penis yes. Of course, if you click through a bit all bets are off.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 10:52 AM on January 13, 2007

So he wasn't French?
posted by randomination at 10:55 AM on January 13, 2007

I thought he was Italian? Someone said that recently. Somewhere on the Blue, I think.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:56 AM on January 13, 2007

I read an apparent interview with the guy, regarding the picture. I'd be surprised if someone else claimed it was them with a widely stretched ass.
posted by Kickstart70 at 11:02 AM on January 13, 2007

I don't WANT to be exposed to Kirk Johnson.
posted by konolia at 11:10 AM on January 13, 2007 [5 favorites]

obligatory
posted by anthill at 11:10 AM on January 13, 2007

Man, I can't believe someone would pay 5 bucks to have an eponysterical post about Goatse.
posted by Eekacat at 11:16 AM on January 13, 2007

Eekananus!
posted by imperium at 11:19 AM on January 13, 2007

Eekacat, I can't tell if your joking, but ahfU has been around for a while. I doubt he has been sitting on these links since November when he first signed up.

Not that it makes his post any less eponysterical.

posted by quin at 11:23 AM on January 13, 2007

I was JUST talking about the goatse guy with a friend online. He was previously unaware to the entire thing, so I had to explain it to him and show him some of the examples that resulted from the meme.

I don't want the secret to be revealed, unless it's some person NOBODY has heard of, and he lives in a small town nobody has heard of, etc.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:33 AM on January 13, 2007

I doubt he has been sitting on these links [...]

hehe
posted by YoBananaBoy at 11:40 AM on January 13, 2007

I just had to explain goatse to my MIL. Thanks.
posted by kamikazegopher at 11:42 AM on January 13, 2007

A guy shows his friend goatse and snaps a pic of his reaction. (SFW)
posted by BoringPostcards at 11:45 AM on January 13, 2007

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by psmealey at 12:04 PM on January 13, 2007 [3 favorites]

Wow I could have gone much longer without knowing what 'goatse' is. However "eponysterical" is good to know.
posted by wtfchuck at 12:28 PM on January 13, 2007

this made me laugh...

still stretching, after all these years...
posted by Busithoth at 12:32 PM on January 13, 2007

No. Not hairy enough.

Wait, did I just type that? I used vital mental processes to analyze the identity of the Goatse man. Holy fuck I'm far too bored.
posted by moonbird at 12:32 PM on January 13, 2007

I never saw the image in question and I have this feeling deep inside my heart that I am truly blessed.
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 1:06 PM on January 13, 2007

Of all the mysteries in the universe, I care least about this one.
posted by NationalKato at 1:38 PM on January 13, 2007

On the official goatse page there is a link for "the giver."

Tell me, please, that that is photoshopped.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 1:38 PM on January 13, 2007

Never seen goatse. I think in a way it's analogous to people who haven't seen the original Star Wars. May God protect my innocence!
posted by Burhanistan at 1:44 PM on January 13, 2007

His photo gallery contains this picture (NSFW!!), which is eerily reminiscent.
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 1:51 PM on January 13, 2007

P.S. After further detective work, it's almost certainly the same person. They even have a mole in the same place. Not that the mystery is terribly important...
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 1:59 PM on January 13, 2007

AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!
posted by mongonikol at 2:13 PM on January 13, 2007

Never seen goatse. I think in a way it's analogous to people who haven't seen the original Star Wars

Huh, huh, you said "analogous"....
posted by Tube at 2:45 PM on January 13, 2007

Additional links to spice up this thread:

The Icelandic Phallological Museum, Click on the, er, arrow pointing to the right for images. This one leaves me feeling troubled.

But now for something on the scale of goatse, Mister Mark's phallic enormity. Most definitely not safe for work. Mister Mark's lips remind me a bit of Amanda Lepore. And his forum (disturbing and really NSFW).
posted by nickyskye at 3:33 PM on January 13, 2007

Will goatse ever go away, or will y'all sick pervs keep gaping at it forever?
posted by davy at 3:53 PM on January 13, 2007

Party pooper.
posted by nickyskye at 4:01 PM on January 13, 2007

I can go to my grave happy now that I know who the goatse.cx man is.
posted by smackwich at 4:08 PM on January 13, 2007

Will goatse ever go away, or will y'all sick pervs keep gaping at it forever?

gaping at gaping
posted by found missing at 4:27 PM on January 13, 2007

it's time to photoshop ceiling cat coming out of you-know-what
posted by pyramid termite at 4:42 PM on January 13, 2007

The closet?
posted by chrismear at 4:43 PM on January 13, 2007

pyramid termite writes "it's time to photoshop ceiling cat coming out of you-know-what"

This has been done. Also Condi.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:59 PM on January 13, 2007

"Never seen goatse. I think in a way it's analogous to people who haven't seen the original Star Wars. May God protect my innocence!"

Tubgirl drew first.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:12 PM on January 13, 2007

I think it's terrible the way you're all making this man the butt of your jokes.
posted by stinkycheese at 5:57 PM on January 13, 2007

Goatse milk (SFW). Tastes like ass...
posted by clevershark at 5:58 PM on January 13, 2007

Goatse seems to be wearing a wedding ring in that infamous photo. Somehow I find that hugely funny.
posted by clevershark at 6:00 PM on January 13, 2007

This is why people think jackass is funny...
posted by Kudos at 6:19 PM on January 13, 2007

are any colleges offering a class in Goatse yet?
posted by pruner at 6:20 PM on January 13, 2007

This is why people think jackass is funny...

Also, the jews goatse are is responsible for all the wars in the world.

are any colleges offering a class in Goatse yet?

I think it's an elective at URI, but I'm not sure.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 6:31 PM on January 13, 2007

Berkeley's course offers an in-depth analysis.
*rimshot*
posted by hell toupee at 7:28 PM on January 13, 2007

Internet geeks. Always arguing about some asshole.
posted by jonmc at 8:21 PM on January 13, 2007

To say that the infamous Goatse has definitely been identified would be, er, a bit of a stretch.
posted by clevershark at 8:29 PM on January 13, 2007

Does anyone else see the assticon above differently on the My Comments page than on any other?
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:49 PM on January 13, 2007

Yeah, now that you mention it, it shows up as a "T" in the center.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 8:55 PM on January 13, 2007

I'm pretty sure its because the my comments page doesn't do certain/any html.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 8:55 PM on January 13, 2007

Well, at least it's not my dad.
posted by jefbla at 10:26 PM on January 13, 2007

Kirk Johnson, the Goatse man? Ehhh... that's stretching it.
posted by StrangerInAStrainedLand at 2:25 AM on January 14, 2007

wtfchuck: my sentiments exactly.
posted by melixxa600 at 9:54 AM on January 14, 2007

Mairsey doats
and goatsey doats
and little lamsey divey...
posted by leftcoastbob at 9:58 AM on January 14, 2007