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Urologist slices perfectly ok penis
January 19, 2007 6:49 PM   Subscribe

Should have worked in a sushi bar. Newsoftheweirdfilter : before entering an hospital in order to have corrective surgery on your testicles, make sure your surgeon of choice isn't 1. slightly insane 2. short tempered 3.holding a scalpel (probably SFW, but may elicit a perpetual lack of trust in doctors).
posted by elpapacito (39 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Man, would you be upset to wake up and be told that. I want a YouTube link to his reaction.
posted by 999 at 7:05 PM on January 19, 2007


It slices, it dices, it makes julienne fries.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:10 PM on January 19, 2007


The court also ordered the hospital to pay $NZ56,858 costs to the man to pay for the operation to rebuild his penis using tissue from his arm.

...holding an apple.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 7:28 PM on January 19, 2007


Afterwards, Ciomu claimed he had been under stress and lost his temper after he accidentally cut the man's urinary channel and 'overreacted'.

i guess i'd be pissedwet your pants!

urinary!? damn near killed 'em!

ok i'm done.

posted by nola at 7:34 PM on January 19, 2007


errr . . . html made my joke suck worse, never mind. i'll be in my room trying to get the stain out.
posted by nola at 7:36 PM on January 19, 2007


In general, I'm opposed to the death penalty, but this doc ought to be hanged.
posted by delmoi at 7:48 PM on January 19, 2007


It slices, it dices, it makes julienne fries circumcises.
posted by furtive at 8:17 PM on January 19, 2007


JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!
posted by Thoth at 8:24 PM on January 19, 2007


Is $NZ56,858 the same as NZD = New Zealand Dollars? If so, seems to be equal to $39,532.77 USD. Doesn't seem like much. Might have to compensate with income from the upcoming movies he'll be making (not to be released on Blu-ray!)
posted by bomeezy at 8:31 PM on January 19, 2007


But wait! There's more!
posted by dilettante at 8:33 PM on January 19, 2007


I have thrown things at work -- I'm no saint. But damn, dude, get a grip.

Wait.. scratch that last bit. No, hold that thought too.. ah, fuckit -- I'm dumbfounded.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:33 PM on January 19, 2007


And a little more. I was trying to find out what set the doc off - apparently he made a mistake in the surgery, and then took out his frustrations on what was formerly an animate object.
posted by dilettante at 8:38 PM on January 19, 2007


Doctors' unions in Romania have criticised a decision to make a surgeon pay £100,000 in damages after he lost his temper and hacked off a patient's penis during surgery.

They should criticize that decision. £100,000 is hardly high enough.
posted by caddis at 8:40 PM on January 19, 2007


Did you see the caption under the pic in dilettante's link???

'Now you might feel a little prick.'

Now that's comedy, folks!
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:53 PM on January 19, 2007


Never mind the caption, how about the related items?!

* Wife rejects penis transplant
* Police seeking owner of penis
* Will anyone love me with my tiny penis?
* Man sues doctor for new foreskin

posted by jamesonandwater at 9:01 PM on January 19, 2007


That is a cute title.
posted by y2karl at 9:26 PM on January 19, 2007


I love the comments to the article in dilettante's second link:
"If I get pissed off at my husband is it okay for me to cut his penis off cause I'm upset ???? NO and it is never okay for a Dr. [some one you trust] to do it either !!!!!!!!! This makes me sick I dont care how little they make people are entrusting them with there lifes and penises"
posted by banishedimmortal at 10:06 PM on January 19, 2007


I prefer my bucket of cocks pureed.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:08 PM on January 19, 2007


Ok, so you screwed up - then made sure that what you screwed up could never ever be compensated

a) fabricated story
b) dem Eastern Europeans are teh scary
c) working for too many hours straight surrounded by idiots
posted by porpoise at 10:21 PM on January 19, 2007


The worst part is, that its being appealed. You would think the doctor would be like "yeah, okay, I cut off a man's penis in a fit of rage, I probably deserve this."
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:22 PM on January 19, 2007


no, the worst part is that he gets his license back in three years.
posted by caddis at 10:25 PM on January 19, 2007


Seems they both lost their heads.
posted by thatweirdguy2 at 11:19 PM on January 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


My mouth is so dry. I never want to click anything on this terrible web-page ever again.
posted by toma at 5:20 AM on January 20, 2007


The doctor lost his license - for only 3 years. Scary
posted by theora55 at 7:00 AM on January 20, 2007


Exactly. This penal system is not stiff enough.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:02 AM on January 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


in situations like this there is something to be said for an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a ....
posted by caddis at 8:17 AM on January 20, 2007


How fun! (from the police seeking owner of penis article:)

The penis, which was not attached to anybody, was found on the ground...

The alternative being "penis found on the ground.... well ok, there was a man attached to it"? (I suppose that would effectively reduce men to their most important organ.)
posted by ClarissaWAM at 9:41 AM on January 20, 2007


Every time I hear a story about dick severance (probably not a cool porn name. A good WWE name and shtick, perhaps?) I think of a James Lee Burke novel where there was a midget hitman with no dick. He had some sort of tube or something. I don't remember the name of the book. I don't really want to Google it anymore, because after my initial search I got hit with a blinding flash of, "I'm probably the only person who's ever entered, " 'james lee burke' and 'midget no dick' " into Google.

God. At least I hope so.
posted by Cyrano at 10:09 AM on January 20, 2007


To the shock of the nursing staff, he then placed the penis on the operating table and proceeded to chop it into small pieces before storming out of the theatre

Theatre??
posted by ORthey at 11:55 AM on January 20, 2007


Ah, yet another Romanian thread. It must be just me.

I called the wife into the room as I do with every Romanian thread and before I had half of the article's headline read aloud, she interrupted with "Oh, yeah. That's Dr. Ciomu. This happened back in 2004. He's famous in Romania. Everyone makes jokes about him. Every comedian has a Ciomu joke."

Much like John Wayne Bobbit, when a dick gets cut off, everyone makes jokes.
posted by quite unimportant at 12:05 PM on January 20, 2007


And it's all "subtract-lib" humour.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:11 PM on January 20, 2007


Theatre??

They're called "operating rooms" in the US and "operating theatres" in Europe.
posted by jesourie at 1:01 PM on January 20, 2007


There are only a few cases where "eye for an eye" justice is appropriate, but this is definitely one of them.

How professionally cold and distant would you have to be to think cutting off somebody's penis was an appropriate way of dealing with stress? This guy should never practice again.
posted by tehloki at 3:12 PM on January 20, 2007


Either still story is 3 years old or this is the second time he's done this. Either way this is not good.
posted by damn dirty ape at 5:35 PM on January 20, 2007


The fact that stuff like this happens even once a generation is why tort reform in America is unlikely.

In the US the compensation would have been in the 10's of millions, at least, and would involve everyone from the doctor back to his high school guidance counselor who first suggested medical school. I'm not saying that's right, but that's what would have happened. Certainly the doctor, hospital, nurses present, and chief of surgery would all be implicated.

Also, I think the victim should execute the doctor in the town square, and dare any judge or jury to convict him.

That the doctor would ever be allowed to practice again, even after 30 years, much less 3, shows how shamefully backwards the Romanian medical establishment is.
posted by Ynoxas at 11:28 PM on January 20, 2007


I'm just quite surprised that the doctor hasn't been lynched by a mob of angry men yet. I know I would definitely pick up a pitchfork (or a pair of pinking shears, heh) for the cause.
posted by tehloki at 12:58 AM on January 21, 2007


In the US the compensation would have been in the 10's of millions, at least, and would involve everyone from the doctor back to his high school guidance counselor who first suggested medical school. I'm not saying that's right, but that's what would have happened. Certainly the doctor, hospital, nurses present, and chief of surgery would all be implicated.

In the first example I could find, compensation may have been under or around $5M, but this and similar cases are used to point out certain flaws in tort reform (if you limit awards for pain and suffering or punitive damages, what happens to patients or surgeons like this? It's not like the patient's got much economic loss). I can't find anything to indicate either doctor went to jail, either.
posted by dilettante at 1:15 PM on January 21, 2007


What amazes me is not that the doctor got away with just punitive damages of $161,945 but that the "material compensations" were only $3,444. I suspect most men would demand more money if you proposed cutting off their penis. Which leads to the question: how much would it take to have your dick chopped off permanently? Hmmm.
posted by etoile at 12:35 PM on January 24, 2007


how much would it take to have your dick chopped off permanently? Hmmm.

It would take whatever it would cost to manufacture a Puppeteer "tasp" ala the Larry Niven novels... or a device of equal power that could simulate an endless orgasm.
posted by tehloki at 4:17 PM on January 24, 2007


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