The Destruction of that Horrible, Annoying, Egotistical, Asinine, Off-Key and Exceedingly STUPID Ring, and the Return of Whatshisname

February 24, 2007 8:41 PM

The Stupid Ring is 'Earth's largest Tolkien parody.' Given a taste of The Lord of the Rings on the big screen [warning: sound], some wacky Tolkien fans craved more. So they rewrote the entire book as a movie script. All sixty-plus chapters. Every scene, every song. And then some. Possibly while drunk.
posted by zennie (14 comments total)

And for purist fans who can't even hack a movieverse parody -- readers of rec.arts.books.tolkien and alt.fan.tolkien collaborated on this transcription of LOTR, so folks "seeking an electronic copy to download instead, can get exactly what they deserve!" There's even a nice little hand-drawn map.
posted by Smilla's Sense of Snark at 8:59 PM on February 24, 2007

'Who will laugh, I wonder?' said Gandalf, shaking his head.

Not I, that is for certain
posted by GavinR at 9:57 PM on February 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

Personally, I'm enjoying The DM Of The Rings more. :)
posted by smallerdemon at 10:15 PM on February 24, 2007 [3 favorites]

even better. an oldie but a goodie.
posted by exlotuseater at 10:29 PM on February 24, 2007

hell smallerdemon, that's awesome
posted by dreamsign at 11:02 PM on February 24, 2007

smallerdemon with the win.
posted by cerulgalactus at 11:19 PM on February 24, 2007

I sit on the floor and pick my nose
and think of dirty things
Of deviant dwarves who suck their toes
and elves who drup their dings.

I sit on the floor and pick my nose
and dream exotic dreams
Of dragons who dress in rubber clothes
and trolls who do it in teams

I sit on the floor and pick my nose
and wish for a thrill or two
For a goblin who goes in for a few no-noes
Or an orc with a thing about glue.

And all of the while I sit and pick
I think of such jolly things
Of whips and screws and leather slacks
Of frottages and stings.

posted by scalefree at 11:57 PM on February 24, 2007

Welcome to EverQuest!You have entered The Mines of Moria.
...
An orc looks at you threateningly - you should win this fight, but it's not certain.
/a
You hit an orc for 4 points of damage!
An orc swings at you, but misses!
Legolas pierces an orc for 32 points of damage!
Legolas has slain an orc!
You have gained group experience!
Your faction standing with Orcs of Moria got worse.
Your faction standing with Mordor got worse.
Your faction standing with The Fellowship got better.
...

posted by moonbiter at 5:21 AM on February 25, 2007

smallerdemon writes "Personally, I'm enjoying The DM Of The Rings more. :)"

That's one of the best LOTR parodies ever.

There was an archive somewhere of LOTR snippets re-written in the style of various authors. One of my favourites was LOTR by way of Quentin Tarantino:

"Elvish, motherfucker, do you speak it?"
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:59 AM on February 25, 2007

dirtynumbangelboy, I believe you're referring to this 41-page thread from 2002 on the Straight Dope message boards.
posted by Partial Law at 9:14 AM on February 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

Oooh. Thank you!
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:00 AM on February 25, 2007

"Lord of the Rings" starring Humphrey Bogart and Marlene Dietrich, directed by Howard Hawks.
posted by stavrogin at 1:58 PM on February 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

smallerdemon : I've wasted hours today on that comic. Thanks for the link.
posted by punilux at 2:58 PM on February 25, 2007

For completeness only, since everybody is sure to have seen it before.
posted by flabdablet at 7:35 PM on February 25, 2007