He said he didn't feel like he had earned it.

April 23, 2007 11:24 AM

Thomas said he and his wife came up with the unprecedented idea to present the president with the Purple Heart over breakfast one morning a few months ago as they discussed the verbal attacks, both foreign and domestic, the commander in chief has withstood during his time in office. "We feel like emotional wounds and scars are as hard to carry as physical wounds," Thomas said.
posted by EarBucket (136 comments total)

It's a nice gesture. I only wish I could see the world through such myopic rose tinted glasses where our president is truly a great man valiantly fighting the good fight against the war on terror.
posted by zeoslap at 11:28 AM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

What a perfect picture of the complete and total moral bankruptcy of the Administration and its cultists.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:29 AM on April 23, 2007

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by Mister_A at 11:30 AM on April 23, 2007

Oh. My. Fucking. god.
posted by parmanparman at 11:30 AM on April 23, 2007

It's his, he earned it, and he can do with it what he wants.

And wow, this guy understands debate in a democratic society about as well as George W. Bush understands combat.
posted by ibmcginty at 11:32 AM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

I think I deserve a few then for seeing those Abu Grab photos.
posted by well_balanced at 11:32 AM on April 23, 2007

Well, while we're at it, why not give him the Noble fucking Peace Prize?
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:32 AM on April 23, 2007 [2 favorites]

Why not just head down to the local military cemetery and piss on some of the fresher-looking graves?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:32 AM on April 23, 2007 [5 favorites]

Giving Bush. A medal. That is usually given to people wounded in battle.

Irony has been shot in the face and dumped in an unmarked grave.
posted by DU at 11:34 AM on April 23, 2007 [3 favorites]

This post needs the batshitinsane tag...
posted by nielm at 11:34 AM on April 23, 2007

That's not satire?

"He said he didn't feel like he had earned it."

No shit.
posted by chunking express at 11:34 AM on April 23, 2007

Well, while we're at it, why not give him the Noble fucking Peace Prize?

I would like a knock-off prize too.
posted by parmanparman at 11:35 AM on April 23, 2007

It's... hard to say how I feel about this. So far as I can tell, it's a genuine gesture by a couple who obviously put some thought into it.

On the other hand, it so boggles my mind that there are people out there, still, with such positive feelings about this failure of a President that I cannot help but feel outrage.

I guess it's most telling that the bushies not only decided to accept the medal, but to make a formal ceremony and press release out of it. As the Pope notes above, total moral bankruptcy. Just because someone is offering this powerful symbol of his service doesn't mean you should use the terribly misguided gesture as an opportunity for self-promotion.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 11:36 AM on April 23, 2007 [2 favorites]

Tag added just for you, nielm.
posted by EarBucket at 11:36 AM on April 23, 2007

...why not give him the Noble fucking Peace Prize?

My son gets a little sticker bearing the likeness of Thomas the Tank Engine and the words "I Was Brave" when he gets a shot. I would smack him if he tried to give it to Bush without ironic intent.

not really
posted by Mister_A at 11:37 AM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

I commented to some co-workers today that May 1 comes next week. May 1, 2003, was the date of the "Mission Accomplished" speech aboard USS Abraham Lincoln, and it's been longer from then to now than it was from Pearl Harbor to V-J Day.

I'm sorry if Dear Leader's tender widdle feelings have been hurt by the odd editorial cartoon or Stephen Colbert routine at a White House dinner, but meanwhile, thousands of Americans and their families have suffered far more measurable harm -- physical, emotional, spiritual, professional, financial. And don't even get me started on the Iraqis.

Just for purposes of discussion, I think you can give away any medal you've been awarded to anyone for any reason, but here are criteria for being officially awarded it yourself.
posted by pax digita at 11:37 AM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

WHAT THE FUCKING COCK-RIDDEN DEMON-SHITTING MOTHERFUCKING CUNT-STORMING HELL?
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:39 AM on April 23, 2007 [19 favorites]

"Shortly after that, I was laying in position ... and took a .50-caliber round that shattered my shoulder blade and virtually took out my right lung."

I'll take the foreign and domestic verbal criticism, thank you very much.
posted by kosem at 11:40 AM on April 23, 2007

Rant from a Marine
posted by anthill at 11:41 AM on April 23, 2007 [14 favorites]

The Purple Heart is awarded in the name of the President of the United States to any member of an Armed Force or any civilian national of the United States who, while serving under competent authority in any capacity with one of the U.S. Armed Services after 5 April 1917, has been wounded or killed, or who has died or may hereafter die after being wounded ...

The ultimate in Bizarro-world Bush Era weirdness: the President accepting the gift of a military honor (from a starstruck veteran) that can only be awarded in the name of the President.

I really wonder what future generations are going to say looking back on these eight years.
posted by blucevalo at 11:47 AM on April 23, 2007

[H]ere are criteria for being officially awarded it yourself.

Bush has earned hundreds of thousands of Purple Hearts for being emotionally wounded by liberals and other terrorists who attack the United States. He should be made President-for-Life for all the pain he's had to suffer.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:47 AM on April 23, 2007

Aw, and here I thought maybe George had cut himself shaving while serving his honorable tour of duty in the Texas Air National Guard.
posted by Nelson at 11:49 AM on April 23, 2007

People who firmly believe in the goodolusa kind of values wherein you respect Commander-in-Chief NO MATTER WHAT really feel sorry for the guy because he has been so inept, has surrounded himself with hawks, listened to the wrong people, and made bad decisions based on flawed data. He was never cut out to lead anything. They want to dab his wounds and soothe his troubled soul with a magmanimous gesture of goodwill from the Loyal Bushie Brigade.

The rest of us just want the next 637 days to be over.
posted by chuckdarwin at 11:50 AM on April 23, 2007

“I guess it's most telling that the bushies not only decided to accept the medal, but to make a formal ceremony and press release out of it. As the Pope notes above, total moral bankruptcy. Just because someone is offering this powerful symbol of his service doesn't mean you should use the terribly misguided gesture as an opportunity for self-promotion.”

Absolutely. I won't criticize the Thomases for their gesture (for being mistaken, yes). But that Bush would even accept it or talk about it is astonishing. The man hasn't a shred of decency.

On the bright side, I learned a new word from this thread: CUNT-STORMING.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:51 AM on April 23, 2007

The Purple Heart? Pshaw. It's nothing but an utterly meaningless piece of junk given out to any bozo who wants one, like John Kerry.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:53 AM on April 23, 2007

sheesus...you mean HE ACTUALLY TOOK IT?

commence eternal vomiting
good god... imagine georgie would have invited them to the white house thanked the guy AGAIN for HIS service in vietnam gave them a nice dinner and then chuckled and said "sorry buddy..you earned this, you keep it. i'll be fine without it.." I could have actually listed one thing george did right in his entire time in the white house.... but fucking hell, he actually took the poor bastards purple heart.
posted by darkpony at 11:53 AM on April 23, 2007

I've been doing that for years, EB.
posted by Mister_A at 11:53 AM on April 23, 2007

President gets a ride in a jet and pretend he's a pilot. "Mission Accomplished." Nothing changes.

President receives a guitar and gets to pretend he's a rock star while New Orleans drowns. Nothing changes.

President who never saw combat duty gets a Purple Heart for hurt feelings while Iraq disintegrates. Nothing changes...
posted by lekvar at 11:56 AM on April 23, 2007 [2 favorites]

Have we forgotten that George Bush's opponent in the 2004 election actually earned a Purple Heart, a real one? You know, the kind you get for actually being wounded in combat? Jesus Fucking Christ on a cracker!

If our news media wasn't so obsessed with trivialities and monkey-see-monkey-do repetition of GOP talking points, you wouldn't have so many American idiots believing that Kerry was performing gay marriages for the Viet Cong, or whatever that Swift Boat crap was about.
posted by jonp72 at 11:56 AM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

> It's a nice gesture. I only wish I could see the world through such myopic rose tinted glasses where our president is truly a great man valiantly fighting the good fight against the war on terror.

C'mon in, zeoslap, the koolaid's fine!
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:57 AM on April 23, 2007

Well, while we're at it, why not give him the Noble fucking Peace Prize?

Well, not quite the Noble Peace Prize, but close.
posted by dead_ at 11:57 AM on April 23, 2007

This will be applauded by the same group of people who wore purple heart band-aids to mock Kerry's battle wounds.
posted by Soliloquy at 11:58 AM on April 23, 2007 [4 favorites]

I'd like to present the Thomases with a fist sandwich.
posted by NationalKato at 11:58 AM on April 23, 2007

"We feel like emotional wounds and scars are as hard to carry as physical wounds," Thomas said.

I look forward to the ceremony in which John Kerry receives his fourth Purple Heart.
posted by you just lost the game at 12:03 PM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

If George Bush deserves the Purple Heart for "withstanding verbal attacks while in office," then Bill Clinton deserves the Purple Heart, the Congressional Medal of Honor, the Congressional Medal of Freedom, six Nobel Peace Prizes and a 50-foot-high statue of him on the National Mall (but he doesn't).
posted by PlusDistance at 12:03 PM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Should be disqualified under section B-5-H: Self-inflicted wounds, except when in the heat of battle, and not involving gross negligence.
posted by boo_radley at 12:04 PM on April 23, 2007 [25 favorites]

Tell Me How This Ends
posted by homunculus at 12:04 PM on April 23, 2007

Astro Zombie: "Well, while we're at it, why not give him the Noble fucking Peace Prize?"

This is three years old but still relevant: G.W. Bush, Accidental Peacenik.
posted by octothorpe at 12:05 PM on April 23, 2007

Yeeshhhh.... Just, yeeshhhhhh...

jonp72 Actually Bush's opponent in 2004 was awarded three Purple Hearts, not just one, as well as a Silver Star and a Bronze Star.
posted by sotonohito at 12:06 PM on April 23, 2007

This is Metafilter softball!
posted by smackwich at 12:08 PM on April 23, 2007

How totally bizarre is it that a guy who was wounded in action would give his purple heart to a guy who got out of seeing action by getting a plum stateside assignment that he didn't even bother to fulfill. How deluded do you have to be to do something like that? I can't understand that at all. All the conservatives howl about Clinton not serving, but give Bush and all his cabinet and advisors a pass? For Bush to accept it is beyond disgusting. Everyday I feel more shame that we as a country allowed these creeps into office.
posted by Belle O'Cosity at 12:08 PM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Betcha he won't accept my offer of a purple nurple, which he is much more deserving of.
posted by edgeways at 12:08 PM on April 23, 2007 [2 favorites]

Yeah, when he trapped aboard Lincoln, as a passenger, and came swaggering out in that flight gear and $hit-eating grin, I thought, "Uh-oh." And when I saw the "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" banner, I thought, "Uh, this ain't Tokyo Bay, guy."

(There wasn't even that level of gloating then, when it was arguably warranted: Google some photos of the ceremony aboard the Missouri and look at the faces of the onlookers; it's one of the most somber observances of victory the last century could've showed us. But then, Mo had been hit by a kamikaze that spring, and those bluejackets and Marines had plenty of other things to think about in addition to "Yippee!")

This is just disgusting. I can't imagine a wounded Marine offering, say, FDR or HST his Purple Heart in the first place, nor either of them accepting. Thank G*d my father isn't alive to see this -- he'd have a stroke for sure.
posted by pax digita at 12:09 PM on April 23, 2007

I want a purple heart for the emotional pain reading this article.
posted by paulinsanjuan at 12:09 PM on April 23, 2007

I'm told they first considered composing the president a symphony of the world's smallest violins, then toyed with the idea of crying him a fucking river, but finally decided on belittling the honor of soldiers who actually earned their commendations through military service and self-sacrifice.
posted by baphomet at 12:13 PM on April 23, 2007 [6 favorites]

I'd actually quite like to present George W Bush with a purple heart.
His own, still faintly beating after I rip it out of his chest.
posted by Flashman at 12:14 PM on April 23, 2007 [3 favorites]

Here's a photo of Mr. and Mrs. Thomas and a few other Bush supporters.
posted by you just lost the game at 12:15 PM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Settling once & for all the controversy surrounding Bush's medals
posted by growabrain at 12:17 PM on April 23, 2007

edgeways, shame on you.


It should be "of which he is much more deserving."
posted by solotoro at 12:19 PM on April 23, 2007

I thought it was somewhat funny in a gallows humor way when Conservative commentators complained about the "lack" of heroism among kids today post-Virginia Tech, when the people they choose to look up to (Cheney, Bush, etc.) couldn't bring themselves to serve on the front lines or at all.

Now, the thought that Bush would deserve a Purple Heart just drops the heroism bar lower and lower.
posted by drezdn at 12:19 PM on April 23, 2007

Bill Thomas, thank you for your service to your country during The Vietnam War. I understand you are sympathetic to President Bush and feel he has been 'wounded' by verbal attacks. However, According to Paragraph 2-8, Army Regulation 600-8-22 (Military Awards) 25 February 1995, Bush is not eligible for a Purple Heart.

A. The Purple Heart is awarded in the name of the President of the United States to any member of an Armed Force or any civilian national of the United States who, while serving under competent authority in any capacity with one of the U.S. Armed Services after 5 April 1917, has been wounded or killed, or who has died or may hereafter die after being wounded

1. In any action against an enemy of the United States.

2. In any action with an opposing armed force of a foreign country in which the Armed Forces of the United States are or have been engaged.

3. While serving with friendly foreign forces engaged in an armed conflict against an opposing armed force in which the United States is not a belligerent party.

4. As a result of an act of any such enemy of opposing armed forces.

5. As the result of an act of any hostile foreign force

6. After 28 March 1973, as a result of an international terrorist attack against the United States or a foreign nation friendly to the United States, recognized as such an attack by the Secretary of the Army, or jointly by the Secretaries of the separate armed services concerned if persons from more than one service are wounded in the attack.

7. After 28 March 1973, as a result of military operations while serving outside the territory of the United States as part of a peacekeeping force.

B. While clearly an individual decoration, the Purple Heart differs from all other decorations in that an individual is not "recommended" for the decoration; rather he or she is entitled to it upon meeting specific criteria.

1. A Purple Heart is authorized for the first wound suffered under conditions indicated above, but for each subsequent award an Oak Leaf Cluster will be awarded to be worn on the medal or ribbon. Not more than one award will be made for more than one wound or injury received at the same instant or from the same missile, force, explosion, or agent.

2. A wound is defined as an injury to any part of the body from an outside force or agent sustained under one or more of the conditions listed above. A physical lesion is not required, however, the wound for which the award is made must have required treatment by a medical officer and records of medical treatment for wounds or injuries received in action must have been made a matter of official record.

3. When contemplating an award of this decoration, the key issue that commanders must take into consideration is the degree to which the enemy caused the injury. The fact that the proposed recipient was participating in direct or indirect combat operations is a necessary prerequisite, but is not sole justification for award.

4. Examples of enemy-related injuries which clearly justify award of the Purple Heart are as follows:

(a) Injury caused by enemy bullet, shrapnel, or other projectile created by enemy action.

(b) Injury caused by enemy placed mine or trap.

(c) Injury caused by enemy released chemical, biological, or nuclear agent.

(d) Injury caused by vehicle or aircraft accident resulting from enemy fire.

(e) Concussion injuries caused as a result of enemy generated explosions.

5. Examples of injuries or wounds which clearly do not qualify for award of the Purple Heart are as follows:

(a) Frostbite or trench foot injuries.

(b) Heat stroke.

(c) Food poisoning not caused by enemy agents.

(d) Chemical, biological, or nuclear agents not released by the enemy.

(e) Battle fatigue.

(f) Disease not directly caused by enemy agents.

(g) Accidents, to include explosive, aircraft, vehicular, and other accidental wounding not related to or caused by enemy action.

(h) Self-inflicted wounds, except when in the heat of battle, and not involving gross negligence.

(i) Post-traumatic stress disorders.

(j) Jump injuries not caused by enemy action.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 12:21 PM on April 23, 2007

.
posted by voltairemodern at 12:21 PM on April 23, 2007

I do not like this Bush!
posted by Mister_A at 12:22 PM on April 23, 2007

That's some fucked up shit right there.
posted by dazed_one at 12:22 PM on April 23, 2007

Heckuva job, Georgie.

(It's like I quit dropping acid and took a nap. When I woke up, everybody but me was tripping balls. Every time I think this country can't get weirder, it does.)
posted by Benny Andajetz at 12:23 PM on April 23, 2007

Two things:

1. Satirical Article posted today about the same subject

2. Second source for the main link in this story

I had really hoped to learn that it was a fake story. Alas.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:23 PM on April 23, 2007

Wow, I saw the FPP and thought this was the setup for some hipster irony.

But... wow. Though, really, is it so surprising? Try watching nothing but Fox News for a couple days, and see how the other half lives.
posted by mkultra at 12:25 PM on April 23, 2007

Twats
posted by ob at 12:26 PM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

The rest of us just want the next 637 days to be over.

01.20.09: The End of an Error.
posted by ericb at 12:26 PM on April 23, 2007 [4 favorites]

The best part is that 30 years from now, after having had succesive administrations work hard to reverse the damage he's done at home and abroad, after all the years of purging the incompetent personnel he installed at all levels of government, after having been repeatedly ass raped by every historian under the sun like a pedophile in a prison shower train, he'll still point back to this moment and say, "but that fellar gave me a purple heart."
posted by The Straightener at 12:31 PM on April 23, 2007

If George Bush deserves the Purple Heart for "withstanding verbal attacks while in office," then Bill Clinton deserves the Purple Heart, the Congressional Medal of Honor, the Congressional Medal of Freedom, six Nobel Peace Prizes and a 50-foot-high statue of him on the National Mall (but he doesn't).

Well, deserving or not, I think it'd be awesome if there were a 50-foot-high statue of Clinton on the National Mall. Preferably one that shot laser beams from its eyes.

But yeah... while this Thomas character sounds like a few sandwiches short of a picnic (getting shot != being intelligent; bullets are not tipped with smart drugs), actually accepting the gift? Um... brass cojones and a total lack of class. Which... shock! Surprise!
posted by hincandenza at 12:31 PM on April 23, 2007

On the upside, getting a medal in this administration is usually the signal that you are about to lose your job.
posted by R. Mutt at 12:34 PM on April 23, 2007 [3 favorites]

Bush is not eligible for a Purple Heart

But, but, but whaddabout that freaking chokin' on the pretzel incident? Doesn't that count?
posted by ericb at 12:34 PM on April 23, 2007

Should go nicely with his Purple Helmet.
posted by CynicalKnight at 12:35 PM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

Speaking of Clinton I was just ruminating on the thought that perhaps in a small way he is glad Bush won, I mean after 8 years of this tool, Clinton just looks better and better and people are going to be a lot more charitable in their memories of him. I never hated Clinton, but I didn't exactly sing his praises, at the time I thought he was about a C+/B- level president. Still after these six years I'd be willing to be kicked in the balls once every New Years if it meant having Clinton in place of George.
posted by edgeways at 12:39 PM on April 23, 2007

I, too, initially thought it was some kind of satirical gesture, but he botched the metaphor:

Cheney's the one in need of a heart.
Bush is the one in need of a brain.
The Democrats need courage,
And the troops need to come back home again.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:42 PM on April 23, 2007 [15 favorites]

I think this is amazing testimony to an earnest desire that many people share. Namely, the desire that the world be simple, binary, black-and-white.

They attacked us, he's fighting back, we're gonna win.

Any attempts to look further into any given situation, or to contemplate information contrary to the comfortable belief, or to question the motives or competence of The Decider is to invite madness.
posted by mmrtnt at 12:43 PM on April 23, 2007

Tonight in the 'Presidential Love Chamber' Bush is gonna play dress-up. He'll put on his Mission Accomplished Flight Suit, slap on his Purple Heart medal and don the black beret Rumsfeld found for him in Saddam Hussein's 'Dictatorial Love Chamber.' Hey, there Laura, my sweetie-pie. A'int I just the bravest 'son-of-a-bitch' out there? Come love me tender.
posted by ericb at 12:44 PM on April 23, 2007

The Straightener: after having been repeatedly ass raped by every historian under the sun like a pedophile in a prison shower train

What the fuck?! That's just not cool.

Bryson Martel was sent to prison for writing a bad check to support his crack cocaine addiction. Raped repeatedly by more than 25 inmates in an Arkansas prison, Martel contracted HIV and was diagnosed with full-blown AIDS in 2002. “It’s awful that a person would have to go in and pay that price like that,” he said. “I paid double price. That check I wrote cost me my life.”

HAR HAR HAR, PRISON RAPE IS TEH FUNNY!

Before you next make a post talking about pound-me-in-the-ass prisons, try imagining the experience of the full weight and power of the richest, most powerful country in the history of the human race forcing you to be trapped like a human toilet, while filthy, diseased people violate every orifice, showing no mercy, no quarter, laughing in glee at your pain. Your tissues are torn and bloody, the pain unimaginable as your teeth are kicked in so you can't bite down as filthy cock after filthy cock is shoved down your throat, forced to swallow anything and everything that comes out of them, forced to literally eat shit and piss and cum and your own blood, until, hours later, when those monsters finally grow tired, you can only muster the energy to drag your carcass to the unclean aluminum toilet so you can squat over it and watch as a godawful mixture of blood, semen, and shit comes pouring out.

Granted, if you're a cute college coed who got too drunk and the next morning regretted spreading your legs for some oaf with a backwards baseball cap, you can get tax dollars and fundraising and task forces to protect you and help you. But eh... not so much if you're in prison.

Best of all, there is no escape, NEVER, NONE. You can't call a doctor, or a friend, or family... you can't call a rape crisis center, or the police... and the very people who are supposed to help will only laugh at you and say you deserve it, because you're subhuman prisoner scum. Hell, some of those guards may have put you in that cell to punish you, knowing full well what would happen. Imagine this scene playing out every day, for weeks, months, years even... happening time and time again, no escape, no escape, NO ESCAPE. The richest, most powerful nation in the history of the world is keeping you there, and every member of its society, every dollar in its coffers, can ensure that you will NEVER leave that rape hell even one moment earlier, and NEVER get any help or relief. You are no longer human, you are a sex doll to be brutalized. Soul? Mind? These are not things you can ever have again, you are a puppet, and hey- no hard feelings when your sentence ends, okay?

Yeah, prison rape is fucking hilarious! Whooooooo!
posted by hincandenza at 12:46 PM on April 23, 2007 [9 favorites]

I think it'd be awesome if there were a 50-foot-high statue of Clinton on the National Mall. Preferably one that shot laser beams from its eyes cock.
posted by mkultra at 12:49 PM on April 23, 2007

The medal was awarded to Thomas on Dec. 18, 1965, following injuries he sustained while serving in heavy combat with the 173rd Airborne Brigade in Vietnam.

If this had been a WW II or Korea vet, I think I could understand the mindset, but apparently the passage of time is causing a lot of Vietnam veterans to rethink their stance toward the Powers That Be. My question is, would he have offered this medal to LBJ? Or McNamara? Or Westmoreland?
posted by pax digita at 12:50 PM on April 23, 2007

while serving under competent authority

I hope that doesn't disqualify all the people who've actually earned Purple Hearts while serving under Bush.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:03 PM on April 23, 2007

Soldier: Honor troops like Va. Tech dead
posted by homunculus at 1:11 PM on April 23, 2007

Wah, wah, wah.
posted by The Straightener at 1:11 PM on April 23, 2007

umm...am I alone in thinking that last Monday might've been a bad time for Georgie-Porge to have been accepting faux-honors. you know, what with all the massacring going on down the road in Blacksburg?

or is this just another demonstration of the mad multi-tasking skillz that allowed him to read "The Pet Goat" while working out a multi-phased response to the terrorist attacks?
posted by the sobsister at 1:23 PM on April 23, 2007

.
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 1:30 PM on April 23, 2007

"Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left." "Yes, I have." "Look!" "It's just a flesh wound."
posted by srboisvert at 1:34 PM on April 23, 2007

LOL JOHN KERRY AMIRITE
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:35 PM on April 23, 2007

Awesome.
posted by byronimation at 1:52 PM on April 23, 2007

So, does this mean Pat Leahy gets a Purple Heart, too, for being told "Fuck yourself" by Dick Cheney? Does Steven Colbert get a Purple Heart for being told "Fuck yourself" by Laura Bush? C'mon, don't be stingy with these things if you're going to give them out just for getting your feelings hurt.
posted by 3.2.3 at 2:00 PM on April 23, 2007

Does Steven Colbert get a Purple Heart for being told "Fuck yourself" by Laura Bush?

Do you have a link for that? I was just looking... unsuccessfully. I'd like to see it.
posted by chuckdarwin at 2:13 PM on April 23, 2007

I have a perfect attendance citation from elementary school. If it's transferable, do I get a Rose Garden ceremony?
posted by rob511 at 2:24 PM on April 23, 2007

You can't tell me if you're a real soldier on the ground in Iraq right now this wouldn't want to make you throw up.
posted by maxwelton at 2:32 PM on April 23, 2007

hincandenza:
While I get your point that yes, prison rape is pretty fucking terrible...

This is Bush we're talking of. There are things like Abu Ghraib, for instance. Or Guantanamo. Or the Black Sites.

I don't think the original intent of that comment was to make light of, or even mock the suffering of those people in prison--because really, if you apply that imagery, that very savagery as a metaphor...

...it's also precisely the kind of devastating abuse Bush does deserve in history.
posted by qcubed at 2:32 PM on April 23, 2007

On a lighter note.

Bush. What a C-Word.

Get it? Wink wink, nudge nudge.
posted by qcubed at 2:33 PM on April 23, 2007

Crybaby? Coward? .... oh.
posted by R. Mutt at 2:36 PM on April 23, 2007

Hardly a Reagan fan myself, but there's a relevant and characteristic story of a young Olympic athlete who, in a rush of emotion, spontaneously offered the 40th president his gold medal. Reagan — Hollywood trained — barely hesitated: instead, he graciously refused, inviting the boy back to the Oval Office to have his picture taken.

PDF link here.

There's an intuitive sense on how leaders best perform to such a moment, how heart-felt largesse needs to be recognized and rewarded in kind. Simple, effective, utterly appropriate gestures, however ultimately self-serving. Does that seem cynical? Even as a 'umble manager of a team in corporate America, I recognize how to behave in ways that reflect well on people's trust, noblesse oblige being a two-way street. So I'm at a loss to understand how Bush could be so oblivious to something so obvious — it seems almost sociopathic, if only because I'm locked out of understanding the motives.
posted by Haruspex at 2:42 PM on April 23, 2007 [4 favorites]

WHAT THE FUCKING COCK-RIDDEN DEMON-SHITTING MOTHERFUCKING CUNT-STORMING HELL?
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:39 AM on April 23

What he said.
posted by flippant at 2:44 PM on April 23, 2007

Granted, if you're a cute college coed who got too drunk and the next morning regretted spreading your legs for some oaf with a backwards baseball cap, you can get tax dollars and fundraising and task forces to protect you and help you. But eh... not so much if you're in prison.
posted by hincandenza at 3:46 PM on April 23

Wow, way to become what you hate.

If prison rape isn't funny (and I agree it isn't) then neither is characterizing survivors of date rape as drunken sluts.
posted by joannemerriam at 2:47 PM on April 23, 2007 [3 favorites]

This is so over the top that you KNOW the demon in hell that, with his serpent headed and thorned schlong, was assigned to ass fuck GW for seven hundred years just quit.
posted by tkchrist at 2:55 PM on April 23, 2007

hincandenza:
While I get your point that yes, prison rape is pretty fucking terrible...

This is Bush we're talking of. There are things like Abu Ghraib, for instance. Or Guantanamo. Or the Black Sites.

I don't think the original intent of that comment was to make light of, or even mock the suffering of those people in prison--because really, if you apply that imagery, that very savagery as a metaphor...

Oh my fucking God someone gets it. It was intended as sick, twisted, ugly and nasty; basically a mental projection of everything I think and feel about and hope for the Bush legacy, but it wasn't intended to be funny. Not exactly sure why someone would have read humor into it.

But since hincandenza took it upon himself to attempt to smother me to fucking death with his sanctimony, maybe he can take this time to tell the group about why it's merited. You know, tell us about all the hours of social justice work he does on a week to week basis. I would really love for him to convince me that he's more concerned about impacting real lives offline than collecting favorites on metafilter with his empty statement of the completely fucking obvious.

What have you done this week? What did you do today? I know what I did today, now you tell me about you.
posted by The Straightener at 2:55 PM on April 23, 2007

joannemerriam
I'm sure he had a good reason for it. After all, it did seem like the emotions ran high in that post. And why wouldn't they?

Rape, whether in prison or not, isn't funny.

Well, not to most people, anyway.
posted by qcubed at 2:55 PM on April 23, 2007

"There's an intuitive sense on how leaders best perform to such a moment [snip] so I'm at a loss to understand how Bush could be so oblivious to something so obvious"

Really? "My Pet Goat"? Singing a tune while New Orleans goes under? How can you really be at a loss about this?
posted by Cyrano at 2:57 PM on April 23, 2007

Purple Heart != Intelligence.

In other words... It's a Purple Heart, not a Purple Brain.

Or to say it another way... He's a bleedin' heart... So much sympathy for po' widdle Dubya...

But primarily, as noted many times above, the thing that struck me as so blatantly disturbing is the fact that Bush accepted this. Who the hell does that?

Oh yeah... George W. Fucking Bush. Entitlement, much?
posted by symbioid at 3:05 PM on April 23, 2007

But, Cyrano, that's precisely my point. Cheney, easy. Perle and Feith and the whole mucky lot, easy. Even Powell, who clearly has some sense of himself as a Sophoclean tragic hero (however wrong), easy.

But Bush's own self perception? No. Perhaps he believes he's The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
posted by Haruspex at 3:10 PM on April 23, 2007

I cannot believe that this happened, even after everything else that's happened in the last six years. How could he accept it? There is no justification; no excuse. I weep for my country, to be led by this man.
posted by Kwine at 3:15 PM on April 23, 2007

He can wear his Purple Heart next time he presents one to someone who earned one.
posted by kirkaracha at 3:49 PM on April 23, 2007

Disgusting.
posted by rougy at 4:02 PM on April 23, 2007

And I weep with you, Kwine.
posted by Ber at 4:03 PM on April 23, 2007

How can you really be at a loss about this?

The only way to retain any shred of humanity anymore is to at least feign being at a loss.

Once nothing this administration does surprises or shocks anyone, all hope is lost.
posted by blucevalo at 4:05 PM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

I can't fucking believe it. He doesn't even have the credibility to wear the purple heart bandaid.
posted by Balisong at 4:17 PM on April 23, 2007

I can't imagine a wounded Marine offering, say, FDR or HST his Purple Heart in the first place, nor either of them accepting. Thank G*d my father isn't alive to see this -- he'd have a stroke for sure.

I would like to take my ailing WWII veteran dad's Distinguished Flying Cross and Air Medal and use the pins to poke Bush in the eyes about 50 times.

Bush never has and never will know what it means to be a real man.
posted by NorthernLite at 4:39 PM on April 23, 2007

blucevalo: Once nothing this administration does surprises or shocks anyone, all hope is lost.

Well said.

sticherbeast: WHAT THE FUCKING COCK-RIDDEN DEMON-SHITTING MOTHERFUCKING CUNT-STORMING HELL?

So there is still hope.

MetaFilter: Still occasionally incensed.
posted by LMGM at 4:44 PM on April 23, 2007

p.s. as for my own opinion on this whole thing, I'd like to post about it, but I'm not sure how to render a primal scream into text.

The crazy thing about this is that I would never have even imagined such a thing in my most cynical of moments. That this exceeds my own expectations for his douchebaggery makes me feel somehow inadequate. I must learn to expect more from him, apparently.
posted by LMGM at 4:51 PM on April 23, 2007

“You know, tell us about all the hours of social justice work he does on a week to week basis.”

Hincandenza, if you fall for this setup, he's gonna tell you all about how he's a social worker and is *cough* saving the world. I also hear he has a black friend. You understand, of course, that this means he's justified in being a belligerent, imbecilic fuckwit who gets all tingly in his private places when he talks about pedophiles and prison rape.

I'm not sure what your excuse is for the whole blaming-the-victim-of-acquaintance-rape thing. But, hey, I suppose it's possible that you're a social worker with a black friend, too. Maybe you even know a woman.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:57 PM on April 23, 2007

This can't be real. It can't. I didn't think it possible anymore, but I am just astonished.

It's the fucking cherry on top of the mile high shit sundae that is this administration.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 4:58 PM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

On the bright side, I learned a new word from this thread: CUNT-STORMING.

Oh, I knew that one. DEMON-SHITTING, on the other hand...
posted by Anything at 5:18 PM on April 23, 2007

"John Carter was so helpful and so gracious,"

Nice to see he's taking time out from keeping peace on Barsoom to help nimwits give medals to asshats.
posted by Koko at 5:23 PM on April 23, 2007

Thomas is an idiot...
posted by aiq at 5:30 PM on April 23, 2007

(I'm sorry, I haven't read all the above comments yet) My father earned two Purple Hearts in World War II, I am shocked that our President would accept the Purple Heart from the Thomas's. I try to avoid political posts here, but this truly deeply causes me to view or current president in a different light. And I thought Clinton selling plots in Arlington was bad. I cant stand it, this REALLY PISSES ME OFF ! DAMN!
posted by BillsR100 at 5:40 PM on April 23, 2007

.


(but in a bad way)
posted by Smedleyman at 5:44 PM on April 23, 2007

great, he can put it next to his silver cokespoon and his three purple condoms.
posted by bruce at 5:56 PM on April 23, 2007

If prison rape isn't funny (and I agree it isn't) then neither is characterizing survivors of date rape as drunken sluts.
posted by joannemerriam at 5:47 PM on April 23

My read on that was that those situations do occur. And while they are repellent, they're orders of magnitude less horrifying than the spectre of prison rape. Yet the victims of such situations get more help offered to them than victims of prison rape can even think of begging for.

I'm not saying that acquaintance-rape isn't traumatic, because it clearly can be. I'm saying--and I think hincandenza was trying to say--that there is something seriously broken when girls get serious help for nonviolent rapes that aren't always, strictly speaking, rape* and yet prison inmates who are used as human toilets and recipients of the most savagely twisted sexual aggression I can think of get nothing.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:26 PM on April 23, 2007

Drunken sluts rarely have regrets along with hangovers next morning; that's why they're drunken sluts as opposed to merely drunken coeds.
posted by pax digita at 8:06 PM on April 23, 2007

“My read on that was that those situations do occur. And while they are repellent, they're orders of magnitude less horrifying than the spectre of prison rape. Yet the victims of such situations get more help offered to them than victims of prison rape can even think of begging for.”

Okay, I can see that. Still, it's probably best not to appear to be minimizing the seriousness of any kind of rape when you're jumping down the throat of someone appearing to minimizing the seriousness of prison rape. And, frankly, the language Hincandenza used seems to be equivalently insensitive to aquaintance rape victims as The Straightener's language was to prison rape victims.

The lessons in this are clear: prison rape victims were injured by rape, acquaintance rape victims were injured by rape, prison rape victims were injured by The Straightener's hurtful comments, acquaintance rape victims were injured by Hincandenza's hurtful comments, The Straightener was injured by Hincandenza's hurtful comments, Hincandenza was injured by joannemerriam's, and both The Straightener and Hincandenza were injured by mine. Finally, Bush was injured by the Liberal Press's hurtful comments. Bush and The Straightener, especially, seem to be damaged by this consistent callous and hostile mistreatment and they, like the war wounded and rape survivors, deserve some sort of a medal as recognition for their courage and strength.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 8:09 PM on April 23, 2007

You know, tell us about all the hours of social justice work you do on a week to week basis.

does kidnapping dogs and cats for medical research count? ... isn't it worth it to KNOW your mascara's safe?

What have you done this week?

i sold a 3rd, 4th, and 5th mortgage to a 90 year old lady and signed up 6 kids to a summer camp that's actually a vegetable farm where they'll work from sun up to sun down and PAY for the privilege

What did you do today?

i shot a man in reno just to watch him die ... nah, i got bored and quit watching

I know what I did today, now you tell me about you.

i dug up mother teresa's skull last month and i'm drinking guinness out of it RIGHT NOW ...
posted by pyramid termite at 9:01 PM on April 23, 2007

BillsR100, the Clinton-Arlington thing was a fabrication. There's a shocker, a smear campaign by the right. (It never ceases to amaze me how much, and with such burning passion, the right hates Clinton.)
posted by maxwelton at 9:11 PM on April 23, 2007

DU: Irony has been shot in the face and dumped in an unmarked grave.

That would mean that Irony, an abstract concept, has more of a right to a Purple Heart than GWB.
posted by the_bone at 9:41 PM on April 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

omfg
posted by I, Credulous at 11:10 PM on April 23, 2007

Obligatory Tim Kreider cartoon.
posted by dansdata at 12:23 AM on April 24, 2007

I, for one, am glad for what he's going for freedom of speech. I mean, at this rate, he'll be pissing on your flag by tomorrow.
posted by dreamsign at 12:47 AM on April 24, 2007

I'm saying--and I think hincandenza was trying to say--that there is something seriously broken when girls get serious help for nonviolent rapes that aren't always, strictly speaking, rape* and yet prison inmates who are used as human toilets and recipients of the most savagely twisted sexual aggression I can think of get nothing.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:26 PM on April 23

And I agree with that (although I think you guys might be overestimating just how much help date rape victims get, because so many people including law enforcement still think the after-the-fact regret cases are the norm and the legitimately raped are the exception). I think it's awful that prison rape is still thought of as somehow justified, because of course criminals are subhuman loldon'tdropyoursoap!. But it seemed to me that hincandenza was saying basically the same thing about drunken coeds, which, at a minimum, weakened his point.

Anyway, Bush is a tool, regardless.
posted by joannemerriam at 3:28 AM on April 24, 2007

Perhaps I'm biased, joannemerriam. The date rape cases I've known personally have gotten a lot of help and counselling right off the bat. (The heartwarming thing is that both female and male victims got the same help.) Maybe it's a Canadian thing.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:25 AM on April 24, 2007

Granted, if you're a cute college coed who got too drunk and the next morning regretted spreading your legs for some oaf with a backwards baseball cap, you can get tax dollars and fundraising and task forces to protect you and help you. But eh... not so much if you're in prison.

Prison rape is a horrible thing, but mischaracterizing women who were raped doesn't help them at all.
posted by Deoridhe at 9:41 AM on April 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

Hey, there Laura, my sweetie-pie. A'int I just the bravest 'son-of-a-bitch' out there? Come love me tender.

You misspelled "Jeff".
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:59 AM on April 24, 2007

Kevin Tillman testifies about Pat Tillman’s death: “Fraud–deliberate and calculated lies.”
posted by homunculus at 1:24 PM on April 24, 2007

homunculus - I get the vague connection to the whole ‘distorted reality’ thing, but I still think that’s a bit off topic.
Unless your insinuation with the Tillman link is that this thing with the purple heart has been stage-managed. Not saying that’s off base, just y’know, need some comment there otherwise just speculation on my part.
posted by Smedleyman at 4:21 PM on April 24, 2007

I don't think this Purple Heart was particularly stage-managed, but Tillman's Silver Star was, by this very administration, and that makes Bush's acceptance of this medal which he never earned even more galling, IMO.
posted by homunculus at 5:58 PM on April 24, 2007

I recently read a news item in which the judge himself tells the prosecuted that he's in for an ass-raping in jail. Yes, the judge himself (not that he used the words "ass rape", but that was the gist of it.) Sickening.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:03 PM on April 24, 2007

Can we stop talking about the rape derail and focus more on the "WHAT THE FUCKING COCK-RIDDEN DEMON-SHITTING MOTHERFUCKING CUNT-STORMING HELL"?
posted by dazed_one at 6:38 PM on April 24, 2007

My outrage meter has bent its needle and doesn't read accurately any more.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:43 PM on April 24, 2007

A late update: Apparently, no one suffers more than the President.
posted by EarBucket at 7:22 AM on April 25, 2007

Whilst this is absolutely disgusting I still to this day don't understand why you'd get a medal for being injured. I can't think of many modern militaries where this would be the case, but then you yanks do so love to have badges for everything.
posted by longbaugh at 7:36 AM on April 25, 2007

The Pentagon's chronic neglect of Iraq vets: Military officials knew long ago about the failure to take care of America's war wounded at the beleaguered Walter Reed hospital.
posted by homunculus at 11:27 AM on April 25, 2007

“that makes Bush's acceptance of this medal which he never earned even more galling”

I see. I share your opinion, but I’m not sure I can be galled anymore by this. I’m about at the top of the scale for gall here. I’m still wondering where those asshole women are with their little purple heart band-aids.

“I still to this day don't understand why you'd get a medal for being injured”

Er, well, it’s not just for being injured. And indeed, you have to have been wounded by enemy action but that’s not the only criteria for getting one. I’m not big on handing medals out like candy. The purple heart is one of the more serious medals. You have, demonstrably, put yourself in harms way. It’s not merely the opinion of your superiors, it’s not a political award, not something you can petition for without having actually been wounded.

But Bushco has been big on smearing meaningful things and making complete fabrications appear meaningful. The ridiculing of Kerry’s purple heart is just one example.

What makes this worse is that Bush seems to think he’s actually getting the medal. You can do whatever you like with your medals. Mine rust somewhere in the bottom of a trunk in my attic. Kerry chucked his. This guy presented his to the President.
They don’t mean anything they’re just a piece of metal and some ribbon. It’s a symbol of something meaningful, but merit and valor can’t be transferred any more than any other virtue.
Of course he didn’t earn it, he hasn’t done anything nor posesses any quality to earn it, nor has anyone independantly recognized his qualities enough to give him a medal nor (in this case) has he actually fought any real enemy.
And indeed, the implication is that certain segments of the American people are somehow the enemy.
Kerry chucked his in protested over the war. Like this, a political statement and I recognize the statements those make.
I don’t agree with either of those cases, I don’t think those kinds of symbols should be politicised, in fact I think they’re poor substitutes for more tangible things.
But then no one’s putting a gun to my head to do or not do anything with them.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:45 PM on April 25, 2007

A late update: Apparently, no one suffers more than the President.
posted by EarBucket at 10:22 AM on April 25 [+]
[!]

LOL. WTFCRDSMCSH?! Now that has to be satire!
posted by dazed_one at 6:59 PM on April 25, 2007