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Cthulhu Ftagn!
April 29, 2007 8:06 AM   Subscribe

Why waste time on playing roleplaying games or writing pastiches when you can actually worship Cthulhu? Join an existing Cthulhu cult or form your own!. They've got a book and everything! (though it may contain big chunks of wiki-plagarism). As ever, the ability to rock a traditionalist shaved-head-and-goatee satanist look considered a plus.
posted by Artw (32 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Rejoyce, for you shall see the truth in worshipping The Flying Spaghetti Monster that is more delicious then your friggin monster.

Also, if you want to believe in something there is no need to get stuck into supernatural delusions becoming followers of guys that are best at pretending they know better about stuff you just imaginated.

Simple solution: worship ME ! Or maybe , ask yourself why you want to worship someone/something.
posted by elpapacito at 8:15 AM on April 29, 2007


I love that the justification for worshipping Cthulhu is "They've got a book." Suddenly those door-to-door Jehovah's Witnesses with their pamphlets make so much more sense!
posted by danb at 8:18 AM on April 29, 2007


danb - they've also had a convention! I bet they got up to some whacky hijinks there. Sadly no word on a Cthulhu Two convention.
posted by Artw at 8:27 AM on April 29, 2007


Amusing how a self proclaimed high priest of the Old Ones gets into some wiki-dweeb citing-of-sources type pissing contest with some dude-with-a-blog..
Hardly HIGH PRIEST OF CTHULHU material I say.. surely any opponents casting aspersions on the Sacred Documents of the TRUE RELIGION would VANISH in the middle of the night with just a discordant piping sound heard by the neighbours and a mysterious slime left on the window stills.. and re-appear some months later in Antarctica a fanatical supporter of said religion, with no memories of their previous heretical questionings of the BOOK.
posted by zog at 8:40 AM on April 29, 2007


Another thing that vanish is water ! It is A MISTERY !
posted by elpapacito at 8:46 AM on April 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


Just what we need, more psuedopagan poseurs to annoy us.
posted by grytpype at 8:49 AM on April 29, 2007


The feud between that danharms guy and the Cult of Cthulhu priest is fun, in that trainwreck-you-can't-help-watch kind of way. danharms seems to be having a lot of fun poking at His Goateed Highness' magical powers.
posted by mediareport at 8:53 AM on April 29, 2007


As a pseudo-pagan poseur myself, I can't help but like these guys. Thanks for the post, Artw!
posted by malocchio at 8:57 AM on April 29, 2007


The card for Empire of Satanis looks alot like the Tarot card used to call Bevets....
posted by three blind mice at 9:23 AM on April 29, 2007


obligatory macrochan link
posted by Rhomboid at 9:38 AM on April 29, 2007


Awww. But just like Christianity, taking it seriously takes all the fun out.
posted by sourwookie at 9:42 AM on April 29, 2007


3BM, a curse upon you for mentioning his dread name!

(And I think it's a Magic: The Gathering card that is used to summon him.)
posted by JHarris at 9:45 AM on April 29, 2007


(And I think it's a Magic: The Gathering card that is used to summon him.)

Yes, but you're going to need at least a hundred swamps. I suggest moving operations to Florida.

Wait a sec... the Scientologists are already there! Coincidence?!
posted by kid ichorous at 10:33 AM on April 29, 2007


3BM, a curse upon you for mentioning his dread name!

Which one? Satanis or Bevets?

Damn I've said it again.
posted by three blind mice at 11:05 AM on April 29, 2007


lol cthulians
posted by flabdablet at 11:06 AM on April 29, 2007


As a pseudo-pagan poseur myself, I can't help but like these guys. Thanks for the post, Artw!

As a "shaved-head-and-goatee satanist look" person myself, I concur.
posted by mkhall at 11:21 AM on April 29, 2007


If you view this message with a negative perspective, then all of it will seem like pulp horror fantasy.

yeah ... take THAT, mr lovecraft!
posted by pyramid termite at 11:25 AM on April 29, 2007


Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

/Deep One
posted by porpoise at 11:52 AM on April 29, 2007


ia?
posted by Busithoth at 11:53 AM on April 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


This Satanis guy seems a little to self-assured to have peered into the infinite abyss of unspeakable horrors. It's all fun and games until someone loses their sanity.
posted by Durhey at 12:34 PM on April 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


NOT OCCULTIST
posted by Rangeboy at 12:39 PM on April 29, 2007


Metafilter: all fun and games until someone loses their sanity.
posted by louie at 1:09 PM on April 29, 2007


Ph-nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!


You do, and you'll clean it up.
posted by konolia at 1:27 PM on April 29, 2007


I, for one, would like to welcome our new occult-horror-from-beyond-the-stars-worshipping...

oh, I just don't have the heart to finish it...
posted by Parannoyed at 2:20 PM on April 29, 2007


I only worship androgynous sky faeries.
posted by Mblue at 2:25 PM on April 29, 2007


I pray that all these people for for Gravel in '08.
posted by Dizzy at 2:34 PM on April 29, 2007


This isn't anywhere close to actual worship. It's one goofy, horny guy's attempt to merge dirty sex with live-action role-playing. Judging by my limited, second-hand experience of LARPing, it's already a lot like selling Amway - in order to get enough people interested to make it work, you basically have to constantly pester everybody you know, in a usually futile attempt to get them to join to join. Throw in some kinky group sex, and I can't see poor Darrick having too many takers.

By the way, most of the pages on the cultofcthulhu.net site contain some very NSFW pictures - in a crudely painted sort of way.
posted by Soulfather at 2:44 PM on April 29, 2007


it's already a lot like selling Amway

except, of course, grand rapids is colder than r'lyeh and doesn't have the night life or the loose women
posted by pyramid termite at 2:51 PM on April 29, 2007


Soulfather - It's one goofy, horny guy's attempt to merge dirty sex with live-action role-playing.

I wonder when someone's going to get around to doing a World of Whorecraft treatment for Cum of Cthulhu?
posted by porpoise at 2:53 PM on April 29, 2007


in a crudely painted sort of way.

Indeed. What is it with "Magicky" stuff and really appalling artwork?
posted by Artw at 3:06 PM on April 29, 2007


Man, these guys are playing fast and loose with Fred Phelps' intelectual property.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:47 AM on April 30, 2007


O RLY?
IA RLY!
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:50 AM on May 1, 2007


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