Comparing Heiresses

May 2, 2007 10:06 AM

Amongst the many companies with offices in Manhattan is a multibillion-dollar French conglomerate that handles "diversified commodities, energy, shipping, real estate, manufacturing, and communications." The owner, Gerard, is one of the richest men in the world, and, at 75, his children and grandchildren stand to inheirit a tidy sum of perhaps half a billion each upon his passing. Unless you've been in a cave for a few decades, one of them has — given syndication, perhaps even daily — been making you laugh for a long, long time. A heiress and princess who you first met live from New York (where she met her husband), then a yuppie in a movie of Christmas indignities, and finally in a small, barely aired show about, er, nothing ... meet Elaine Julia, the multibillion-dollar heiress, Northwestern dropout, Emmy-winning actress, and even a distant relative of Richard Dreyfuss. And then compare her to a certain other celebrity heiress.
posted by WCityMike (52 comments total)

Actually, I met her for the first (and only) time in the TV lounge of my freshman dorm at Northwestern.
posted by briank at 10:08 AM on May 2, 2007

And now you know... the rest of the story.
posted by smackfu at 10:14 AM on May 2, 2007 [5 favorites]

Sweet Jebus Malloy. You'd think someone as rich as Louis-Dreyfus would have the wherewithal to sit back and wait for good projects to come her way, rather than all the crap she's starred in since Seinfeld. Or maybe she just has poor taste.

Also, Paris Hilton "only" has 28 mil? She's hardly even slumming at the keggers she's always passed out at!
posted by DU at 10:19 AM on May 2, 2007

GET. OUT!!!
posted by Koko at 10:20 AM on May 2, 2007 [3 favorites]

Forbes' 10 Hottest Billionaire Heiresses
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:21 AM on May 2, 2007

fixed
posted by phaedon at 10:22 AM on May 2, 2007

(That came out a little harsh. Even on the brilliant Seinfeld, she's a standout character. I've just not been impressed with the work of any of the non-Seinfeld three since then.)
posted by DU at 10:23 AM on May 2, 2007

Elayne... trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla
posted by phaedon at 10:35 AM on May 2, 2007

I had no idea. It strikes me as sort of odd that this wasn't general knowledge for many years. I feel 25% less annoyance with Seinfeld now for hogging the royalties from the DVD sales.
posted by well_balanced at 10:37 AM on May 2, 2007

DU, she was on Arrested fucking awesome Development. So that trumps any other crap she did post Sienfeld.
posted by chunking express at 10:37 AM on May 2, 2007

OK, I didn't know she was on AD--I rarely watched and never saw her. Kudos to her.
posted by DU at 10:44 AM on May 2, 2007

First off... why the Hell couldn't I be a freaking heiress? Instead I have two uncles named BUD for Christ's sake.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:48 AM on May 2, 2007

I have two uncles named CHRIST for Bud's sake.
posted by French Fry at 10:51 AM on May 2, 2007

BTW, she met her husband in college at Northwestern. They're the only married couple to both be castmembers on SNL.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:52 AM on May 2, 2007

I had no idea untill I was bored one day and read her wikipedia article.
posted by delmoi at 10:54 AM on May 2, 2007

I love to hear about when extremely wealthy heiresses also turn out to be sexy and funny and smart and independently successful. It's so nice when it works out like that for them.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 10:57 AM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Huh. That's the sort of thing I would have expected to already know. I'm not a huge celebrity obsessed type, but I stand in the occasional grocery store line.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:00 AM on May 2, 2007

The difference is that Louis-Dreyfus is old money in the real sense of the world. Not that American old money whose only claim to old money is that their money is just less new than new money.

Contrast this with Warren Buffet's kids. They don't line the society pages. The biography by Lowenstein had some interesting anecdotes about how how one of Warren's friends begged him to get his daughter a color television set (who was pregnant at the time and living in a small, one bedroom place). I believe they're all living mundane middle class lives and stand to inherit ~$1million each. Chump change compared to the lives of the idle rich.
posted by geoff. at 11:01 AM on May 2, 2007

I'm not a huge celebrity obsessed type, but I stand in the occasional grocery store line.

Enquirer: "We're going to do a story on your daughter Julia and her untold riches."
Louis-Dreyfus Group: "Hi. Gerard Louis-Dreyfus here. I can buy you, then fire all of you, then put you on the street, then hire people to threaten anyone who wants to give you spare change, and finally hire a specially trained poodle whose sole purpose will be to whiz on you all day long, stopping only to rehydrate."
Enquirer: "Hey, the Bat Boy's been sighted again."
posted by WCityMike at 11:03 AM on May 2, 2007 [14 favorites]

She was absolutely hilarious on Arrested Development.

And this is the first I've heard of her being an heiress. The comparison page with Paris Hilton is priceless.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 11:04 AM on May 2, 2007

Wow, an outlet for this: I really enjoy watching The New Adventures of Old Christine. I think it's excellently crafted and very well-performed, particularly by Louis-Dreyfuss.

Thanks for this post. Terrific stuff!
posted by chudmonkey at 11:19 AM on May 2, 2007

"I had no idea untill I was bored one day and read her wikipedia article."

You have got to be pretty fucking bored in order to get to the "Julia Louis-Dreyfus" section of the "I will read about this when I'm bored" list.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:25 AM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

a woman with quite large tracts of land
posted by caddis at 11:25 AM on May 2, 2007

at 75, his children and grandchildren stand to inheirit a tidy sum

His children and grandchildren are 75 years old? Wow, he must be ancient.
posted by jjg at 11:28 AM on May 2, 2007

OK, I knew about the family $, but this post was worth it for that last link comparing Louis-Dreyfus and Hilton.
posted by caddis at 11:31 AM on May 2, 2007

at 75, his children and grandchildren stand to inheirit a tidy sum upon his passing

His children and grandchildren are 75 years old? Wow, he must be ancient.

Metafilter: Because the Grammarians Were Kicked Out of All The Other Bars
posted by WCityMike at 11:34 AM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

DU: I've just not been impressed with the work of any of the non-Seinfeld three since then.

Well, I hear Michael Richards has been doing pretty good work...
posted by LordSludge at 11:40 AM on May 2, 2007

I'd marry it. And wait for it to die.
posted by Citizen Premier at 11:56 AM on May 2, 2007

That's kind of frightening to consider that single individuals have that much money. It boggles my mind anyways.

Even dictators have to worry about being deposed or killed by opposition or whathaveyou. Billionaires can presumably live a life such as few people in human history will ever know, and their power is such that people will readily (and happily) acquiesce just to potentially ingratiate themselves with you.
posted by stinkycheese at 12:02 PM on May 2, 2007

...[T]heir power is such that people will readily (and happily) acquiesce just to potentially ingratiate themselves with you.

Yep, it's kinda like people grovel before very attractive women. None for me, thanks.
posted by LordSludge at 12:22 PM on May 2, 2007

Sweet Fancy Moses.
posted by Elmore at 12:26 PM on May 2, 2007

I found her amusing on Seinfeld, but on Greg Kinnear's inaugural episode as host of "Later" (i was a fan of his previous stuff on talk soup, and made a point to watch), Julia Louis-Dreyfuss was his first guest. She was rude, curt, and all but flipped him, saying she was only there because it was in her Seinfeld contract to do charity interviews for the network's ailing shows. At first I thought she was method acting, some kind of "look at the blistering cunt character I can play," because Kinnear just rolled with it as much as possible, and joked around the pregnant pauses which would come after a one word response from her.

After that, I joined the rather large part of the Seinfeld audience who enjoyed watching Elaine get smacked by bad things happening to her, but as a person, she really bared some fugly side of her that is really hard to plaster over (AD guest spot notwithstanding).

This heiress condition, though, may shed some light on where she got that vein of 'eat shit and die, scum!' condescension.
posted by Busithoth at 12:28 PM on May 2, 2007

Who's Greg Kinnear?
posted by Elmore at 12:29 PM on May 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

at 75, his children and grandchildren stand to inheirit a tidy sum

A lifetime of work, Social Security at 65, then just 10 more years of Ramen Noodles and BAM! that old trust fund kicks in.

You'll be set for life if you make it that long.
posted by hal9k at 12:32 PM on May 2, 2007

They're the only married couple to both be castmembers on SNL.

She's extremely straight-laced for an SNL castmember. I hazily remember her relating a story on Letterman that started off with, "So I walked into the writer's room and they were smoking pot in there" and her appearing very shocked. I forget the interview after that.
posted by phaedon at 12:36 PM on May 2, 2007

Mmm, I could really go for a blistering cunt right about now...
posted by stinkycheese at 12:46 PM on May 2, 2007

That comparison page really twists things to put Paris in a bad light. It doesn't even mention her album! Let's hear Julia Louis-Dreyfuss try to sing!
posted by inigo2 at 12:48 PM on May 2, 2007

Not that I don't see the sarcasm, but she sang on Watching Ellie, didn't she?
posted by jacquilynne at 12:53 PM on May 2, 2007

Aww, half a billion dollars is ok money, I guess.
If she worked at it, she could parlay that into some real dough.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:58 PM on May 2, 2007

According to this book, Jane Curtin is the original straightlaced SNL castmember. Through the first seasons when everyone else was dealing with drug and eating issues, every night she was headed home to her husband & their dog. Apparently she didn't relate to her costars' lifestyles at all.
posted by miss lynnster at 1:27 PM on May 2, 2007

I knew this becuase of Joe Bob Briggs claimed attempts to nail her... then finding out out how far above his station she was.
posted by tkchrist at 1:50 PM on May 2, 2007

I prefer her sex scenes
posted by vronsky at 1:52 PM on May 2, 2007

I wonder how much of the character of Sue Ellen Mischke, heiress to the Oh Henry! candybar fortune, was based on her.
posted by gyc at 2:55 PM on May 2, 2007

... a color television set (who was pregnant at the time and living in a small, one bedroom place)

geoff., there's the germ of an idea for a wacky zany hip sci-fi comedy novel in there somewhere...
posted by Pinback at 5:51 PM on May 2, 2007

Y'know, she was always my favourite of the Seinfeld crew. Somehow it's very heartening to see that she achieved that sort of fame on her own, despite all the advantages she was handed at birth.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:23 PM on May 2, 2007

You'd think someone as rich as Louis-Dreyfus would have the wherewithal to sit back and wait for good projects to come her way, rather than all the crap she's starred in since Seinfeld. Or maybe she just has poor taste.

Or, maybe she likes to maybe WORK instead of sitting back on her ass. Waiting around for the perfect vehicle gets a little boring and people forget about you.
posted by spicynuts at 6:33 PM on May 2, 2007

Or maybe she picks the ones that are FUN instead of "great."
posted by five fresh fish at 7:56 PM on May 2, 2007

Man, parts of Deconstructing Harry were so fucking forgettably bad I almost forgot about that jewel of a scene.
posted by phaedon at 9:02 PM on May 2, 2007

It was dreadful phaedon. That scene, and this joke, "I once dated a woman with dyslexia... she kept putting her tampons up her nose" are all I remember from it.

I do think that the youtube clip was edited though. I remember the bj scene lasting an almost obscene amount of time in the theater. Maybe the dvd was different.
posted by vronsky at 9:27 PM on May 2, 2007

Join us tomorrow, when Louis-Dreyfus will take on the winner of the Anderson Cooper vrs Carla Bruni matchup. Cooper easily defeated Spike Jonze, who doesn't appear to be in direct line to inherit the catalog fortune. Bruni topped Maria Shriver, since the Kennedys are celebrities to start with. Will Louis-Dreyfus take the Privileged Birthright Entertainer Challenge? At $2.9 billion she looks almost unbeatable.
posted by TimTypeZed at 10:33 PM on May 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

Paris Hilton sentenced to 45 days in jail.
posted by ericb at 7:06 PM on May 4, 2007

At least she went out and did something on her own instead of just waiting for the payola. All the shows can't be winners.
posted by bytheowner at 8:01 AM on May 22, 2007