Amaze your (dumber) friends.

June 2, 2007 2:55 PM

Peter answers.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (54 comments total)

Could you repeat the question?
posted by Floydd at 3:01 PM on June 2, 2007

It does weird things to my keyboard, requires you to jump an annoying hurdle for no apparent reason, and doesn't give any sort of amusing, accurate, or interesting answers that I've seen.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:08 PM on June 2, 2007

Oh. Huh.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:09 PM on June 2, 2007

peter has a crappy interface
posted by muddylemon at 3:10 PM on June 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

Peter answers: We'll leave this question for later.

Well, that was a total fucking waste of time.
posted by fusinski at 3:12 PM on June 2, 2007

Hm, if there's an explanation or punchline, I don't see it in Firefox.
posted by gubo at 3:12 PM on June 2, 2007

Click on gnfti's linked . at the end for an explanation. It's not really very good when presented this way.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:14 PM on June 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

What a peter.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 3:15 PM on June 2, 2007

You: Why won't peter answer me?

Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:16 PM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Um...

Peter please answer:
What is 2+2?
Peter answers: I don't know.

Peter, please answer the following question:
Why should I find this the least bit "interesting"?
Peter answers: You'll pay for any wasted answer.

Peter, please answer the following:
Was that a threat?
Peter answers: I'm sorry, but I can't help with this question.

Peter, please answer the following question:
ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?
Peter answers: I don't know.

....what the heck?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 3:18 PM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Peter, please answer:
Did you know you're seriously busted in Safari?
Oh. Fuck. Sorry about that.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:18 PM on June 2, 2007

Peter kind of sucks.
posted by nola at 3:21 PM on June 2, 2007 [3 favorites]

What is the name of my dog?
Peter answers: My soul will rest under your bed tonight.

....
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 3:22 PM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

I was hoping it would have been Peter Griffin answering.
posted by birdherder at 3:22 PM on June 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

From the . link:

Peteranswers.com: The Magic Tricks Revealed

First, instead of typing in the petition box, “Peter, please answer the . . .” begin by instead typing:

“.”

That’s right. Simply type a period. What happens next is pure magical genius.

Instead of seeing what you’d expect (a “.”) you see a “P”. Then type whatever the heck you want and the rest of the phrase “Peter, please answer the following” appears.

As long as nobody pays any attention to where your fingers are actually landing the prank works slick.

The trick to the prank is to here type in the answer to whatever question you are going to ask next. When you’re done just keep typing until the phrase is complete. Whenever you hit the “:” your courser will jump to the next box–where you’ll type in the actual question.

Hit return and bingo! Whatever you really typed into the petition box appears.
posted by fusinski at 3:23 PM on June 2, 2007 [3 favorites]

Peter is being a Dick.
posted by Floydd at 3:27 PM on June 2, 2007

Oh, I see. I get it now. Thanks Wolfdog.

Confusing post. Good find.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 3:28 PM on June 2, 2007

Insert question: What do you do?
Peter answers: I don't know.

I should probably confirm it with Peter, but I think that says it all.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:28 PM on June 2, 2007

Ohhhhhhhhh.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:31 PM on June 2, 2007

Beagle Bros did it better.
posted by the dief at 3:37 PM on June 2, 2007

This is some powerful shit.

There was a DOS version of this when I was in highschool, when the internet had no pictures. The school's sysadmin, or a professor from CS, I can't remember, posed it as an riddle to some of us. We figured it out and had lots of fun.

That version had a satanic theme, and very scary warnings.

Some highlights:
1. Getting a kid in the computer lab to strip to his waist, do a head stand, and yell his name.
2. Getting a cute girl to kiss a fellow nerd.
3. Giving all the waiters at a cafe nightmares for days.
4. Having a popular DJ mention it on air, making it well known in a city of 5 million people.
5. Warnings from the diocese handed down by parish priests all over the city.

And best of all:

5. Having Mexico's foremost UFO expert fooled on his own TV show by a teenager with a copy of the program. The expert later sued.

I wish I could find a reference, but all searches for "jaime maussan fooled by a pimply teenager on a 386" return nada.
posted by Dataphage at 3:44 PM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

No Comment.
posted by Peter H at 4:09 PM on June 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

The first time I saw this trick was on the Apple II, as part of the Beagle Bag Magic Pack, a subgame called "Plenty Questions."
posted by majick at 4:12 PM on June 2, 2007

batshitinsanelystupid.
posted by pruner at 4:13 PM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Totally useless.
posted by jonson at 4:13 PM on June 2, 2007

and not at fun as this.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 4:15 PM on June 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

Dataphage: the website credits "Original Idea: Wizard 666, the spirit of Liza"

Is that what you might be thinking of?
Searching for it on Google didn't really turn up anything, though.
posted by blenderfish at 4:16 PM on June 2, 2007

Peter, please answer the following question:
What does your interface suck so much?

Peter answers: This topic is not very interesting.

Peter is a fuckhead.
posted by quin at 4:16 PM on June 2, 2007

Though knowing fusinski trick does make this a bit more funny.
posted by quin at 4:20 PM on June 2, 2007

fusinski's
posted by quin at 4:21 PM on June 2, 2007

I could use this. Oh, yes.
posted by BrodieShadeTree at 4:27 PM on June 2, 2007

This is garbage.
posted by ageispolis at 4:33 PM on June 2, 2007

Fun! I'm totally going to use this to some dastardly purpose in the future.
posted by taz at 4:35 PM on June 2, 2007

Is this something I would need real life friends to understand?
posted by chrismear at 4:41 PM on June 2, 2007

This would be more amazing if I had friends.

Luckily, I can still play with the screaming beans, so it all works out.
posted by LeeJay at 4:43 PM on June 2, 2007

Read the explanation, and then you can win real life friends with your amazing computer/chrismear mind meld. See? (you, too LeeJay.)
posted by taz at 4:49 PM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

Better answers available here and here.
posted by ericb at 5:02 PM on June 2, 2007

You guys are writing this off because it's been presented in totally the wrong way by this post. You need to know the magic trick first and be in on the joke before visiting the site with a group of people. If you just go to the site and try to type in a question, it is indeed totally useless.
posted by Rhomboid at 5:13 PM on June 2, 2007

This is AWESOME. I'm pulling this out at my next poker night. Thanks!
posted by Shecky at 5:25 PM on June 2, 2007

I just ..well, I just don't get it and I won't let it ruin a perfectly good drunken Saturday night.
posted by hojoki at 5:40 PM on June 2, 2007

this is a perfect example of how most posters don't read the other comments before posting. there are several doofi still complaining about how dumb and useless peter's responses are even as it was explained upthread.
posted by Hat Maui at 5:58 PM on June 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

.awesome. please answer:
What is this?
posted by DU at 6:35 PM on June 2, 2007

I didn't know there was a trick and so I asked two questions just to try it out and got answers such as: "there's someone waiting at the door" and "there's someone behind you". Needless to say I'm easily freaked out and I assumed it was going to do something like suddenly change to a picture of a zombie with a loud noise. Thankfully that's not the case, because I hate those things.
posted by Green With You at 6:38 PM on June 2, 2007

Peter is always right, Green With You. Always.
posted by puke & cry at 7:19 PM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

This is absolutely perfect. Two of the potential question/answers I would use to scare the brains out of my friends fit exactly within the number of characters taken up by "Peter, please answer:".

I should probably invest in a defibrillator before next weekend.
posted by invitapriore at 7:47 PM on June 2, 2007

Also, kind of, sort of related: The Flash Mind Reader.
posted by the other side at 7:48 PM on June 2, 2007

this is a perfect example of how most posters don't read the other comments before posting.

Hence the title of the post. Of course, I had to read the explanation twice before the light dawned.

It's always nice to have one more thing to snicker evilly about, even if I'll probably never put it to use.
posted by frobozz at 7:52 PM on June 2, 2007

Why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 and hot dog buns come in packages of 8?

I know a secret about the one that is typing that no-one else knows... do you want to know what is it?

i should have known not to ask questions about hot dog buns on friday
posted by pyramid termite at 8:19 PM on June 2, 2007

okay listen, there's this guy and I like him and so he moved in with me and we kinda got married and tonight he was like hey look at this, ask it some question and I was like ok how long is an elephant's gestation and it was like 9 months (my husband was typing the questions) and I was like ok could be and then husband was like what is thirteenkiller's surname and wtf Peter knew it and then I was like what is hubby's surname and Peter knew it both the old one and the new one and I was like wtfwtf ok when was Charlemagne crowned Holy Roman Emperor and Peter got it totally wrong but admitted he didn't really have any idea and then I was like ok um there's this dude we know, what's his daughter's name and Peter got it right but spelled the name a little wrong but still that was pretty good so then I was like ok ask it what my first pet's name was and Peter got that right too so I was like wtf and hubby was like it's supposed to be psychic or something and husband is meant to be real logical and not believe in psychic stuff so I kinda got mad and I was like are you fucking with me and he was like yeah lol
posted by thirteenkiller at 8:27 PM on June 2, 2007 [3 favorites]

Peter is a fuckhead.

This thread kind of feels like going to my own funeral.
posted by Peter H at 8:40 PM on June 2, 2007

What does the '.' mean?
posted by atrazine at 8:42 PM on June 2, 2007 [2 favorites]

"Whenever you hit the “:” your courser will jump to the next box–where you’ll type in the actual question."

Uh. I think they meant "cursor."
posted by ericb at 9:10 PM on June 2, 2007

No. My warhorse leapt right in there.
posted by Samizdata at 11:03 PM on June 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

lol@samizdata
posted by imperium at 4:44 AM on June 3, 2007