Kinda like that Fed Ex guy from the 80's

June 13, 2007 4:04 AM

Can you name all the books of the bible? How about all fifty U.S. states? Every U.S. president? All the Academy Awards Best Picture winners since 1927? And can you do it in under two minutes? embedded Google video
posted by zardoz (25 comments total)

"No, I'm sorry."

"You mispronounced 'Mrs. Miniver.' Please begin again."
posted by rob511 at 4:13 AM on June 13, 2007

Did he get the job??
posted by MtDewd at 4:22 AM on June 13, 2007

Just the guy to be a ground control guy, eh? And the having a single eye just tops it off.

How was Schindler's List before Forrest Gump? 1993 vs 1994? WTF? I would have said SL couldn't have been a day before 1995.
posted by DU at 4:25 AM on June 13, 2007

It was pretty good, until he started mumbling those random syllables after Revelation. "Almahelemanmormonethermoroni"? BZZ TRY AGAIN THX
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:29 AM on June 13, 2007

"O'Hare Ground Controller Interview"

When you're flying over Chicago, a fast-talking one-eyed stressed-out Mormon trivia buff may be all that stands between you and death.
posted by pracowity at 4:29 AM on June 13, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

Hey, DU, as it turns out you were wrong and he's right. And don't panic, people, look how chilled out he is at the end. Sure, I'd be flying into Detroit and getting the bus, but I'm sure it's fine.
posted by imperium at 4:37 AM on June 13, 2007

The answer to today's daily double "The names of all fifty states and their capitals"(Youtube, Animaniacs)
posted by TwoWordReview at 4:44 AM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Does anyone feel like giving a direct link to the google video?
posted by nervousfritz at 4:54 AM on June 13, 2007

Direct link.
posted by eritain at 5:19 AM on June 13, 2007

thanks
posted by nervousfritz at 5:24 AM on June 13, 2007

That's nothin. I can recite all 50 states in 1/4 second.
posted by LordSludge at 5:56 AM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Incidentally, the phrasing of his New Testament list discloses that he memorized them by singing them—I am not making this up—to the tune of 'Scotland the Brave':

Mátthew, Mark, Lúke, and John,
Ácts and the Rómans,
Fírst and Sécond Córinthiáns;
Galátians, Ephésians,
Philíppians, Colóssians,
Fírst and Sécond Théssaloniáns.

Tímothy, Tímothy,
Títus, Phílemon;
Thén come the Hébrews, Epístle of Jámes;
Péter, Peter, Jóhn, John, John,
Júde, Revelátion,
Hóme of my héart forever, Scótland the Bráve!

Well, OK, actually the final line is usually a lame throwaway: 'Thése are the bóoks of the Néw Testamént.' Whatever.

This is a well-known trick among Mormons. I suspect, but cannot prove, that related techniques got him through the other scriptures—the Mormon Sunday School song 'Do What Is Right' for the Old Testament, and 'Ten Little Indians' for the Book of Mormon. Which I only just noticed the humor of. States, Presidents, and Academy Award winners, I hasten to add, were not covered in Sunday School, unless you count a passing and rather negative reference to Martin Van Buren. For those, my hat's off to this guy.

This lesson in Mormon folk culture was brought to you by the letters D&C, and by the number 5, the latter of which it wouldn't have killed him to add to his recitation, insert pedantic grumbling here.
posted by eritain at 6:07 AM on June 13, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

There's also a song for the fifty states in alphabetical order and the presidents. This is about as impressive as knowing the words to all the songs on a Journey album.
posted by I Foody at 6:16 AM on June 13, 2007

What are the abbreviations that show up on the screen as two or three letter combinations?
posted by solipsophistocracy at 6:24 AM on June 13, 2007

Back in my baseball card collecting days as a kid, my brother and I alphabetically fit the names of all the MLB teams to the ABC tune. It suprisingly required little syncope (just "Mar'ners") and no epenthesis. The only cheat was the finale. ("White Sox, Yankees, and that's all / Of the major leagues baseball")

The downside is that I'm now stuck in 80's baseball for the rest of my life. Whenever I hear Marlins, my first thought is that it must be a hockey team or something.
posted by Hubajube at 6:43 AM on June 13, 2007

Too bad he left out Barnabas and Thomas. Oh, wait, that was the bastard Nicene council.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:13 AM on June 13, 2007

*Wheel in the Sky keeps on turnin', don't know where I'll be tomorrow*

Curse you I Foody!
posted by doctor_negative at 7:16 AM on June 13, 2007

For those of you who didn't get the "FedEx guy from the '80s" reference: Here you go.
posted by pax digita at 8:33 AM on June 13, 2007

There's also a song for the fifty states in alphabetical order and the presidents. This is about as impressive as knowing the words to all the songs on a Journey album.

But Ray Charles sang "Fifty Nifty United States" and Ray Charles was cool, so at least the states-in-alphabetical-order song is cool.

North, south, east, west, in my calm, cool, objective opinion, the only presidential song that we truly need is the Mediocre Presidents song from The Simpsons (There's William Henry Harrison! / "I died in thirty days!")
posted by Spatch at 8:40 AM on June 13, 2007

Can you name all the books of the bible? How about all fifty U.S. states? Every U.S. president? All the Academy Awards Best Picture winners since 1927? And can you do it in under two minutes?

Uh...yeah. Yeah, I can.

But I mean, no way I'm going to put a video of myself doing it on the internet. I mean, c'mon.
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas at 8:57 AM on June 13, 2007

What are the abbreviations that show up on the screen as two or three letter combinations?

I believe it's the Alphabet backwards
posted by GoodPuppy at 9:10 AM on June 13, 2007

Wow... I can see me training myself to do this just as a parlor trick. I can also seeing that repelling friends and loved one's from me... Plus I'm a junkie and no good with people, so I wouldn't even get the O'Hare job...

Okay, I was lying about the junkie thing.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:43 AM on June 13, 2007

pssshhh!

He totally missed the McDLT and hot apple pie.
posted by ericbop at 1:44 PM on June 13, 2007

I beat him to the job by reciting the phonetic alphabet. Hotel Alpha!
posted by furtive at 6:42 PM on June 13, 2007

For those of you who didn't get the "FedEx guy from the '80s" reference: Here you go.

By the way, the "FedEx guy" was John Moschitta, Jr. According to this, the character he played in the FedEx ads was named Mr. Spleen.
posted by jonp72 at 7:27 AM on June 14, 2007