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June 26, 2007 1:16 PM   Subscribe

Introducing rPhone - Industry insiders at PiratePalooza have the specs on the first iPhone killer.
posted by Burhanistan (43 comments total)

 
If I look on BoingBoing am I going to see this there?
posted by Artw at 1:32 PM on June 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


Doesn't look like it at the moment, but why don't you take a hike off that way all the same?
posted by Burhanistan at 1:34 PM on June 26, 2007 [7 favorites]


If I see the word "steampunk" one more time, I am going to scream.
posted by fusinski at 1:34 PM on June 26, 2007 [3 favorites]


Steampunk.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 1:38 PM on June 26, 2007 [2 favorites]


(I'll give it 5 minutes first, they might have another new important iPhone update in that time)
posted by Artw at 1:46 PM on June 26, 2007


Ignore the haters. I thought this was awesome.
posted by Stunt at 1:47 PM on June 26, 2007


Sweet. That'll fit right in with my Corsair keyboard.
posted by sciurus at 1:51 PM on June 26, 2007


If I look on BoingBoing am I going to see this there?

If you sniffed your own butt would you describe what particular type of flowers it smells of?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:55 PM on June 26, 2007


Awesome. I love steampunk, dammit, and by God, I'll continue to love steampunk until all the steam is punked right out of it. Alernatively, I will also love it until all the punk is steamed out of it. See? It's versatile.
posted by katillathehun at 1:57 PM on June 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


If I see the word "steampunk" one more time, I am going to scream.

Shenanigans?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:02 PM on June 26, 2007 [1 favorite]


Bonus points if you can spot the Mr. Mom reference herein.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:07 PM on June 26, 2007


Why not some steamcountry, or a little steamfunk? Broaden your damn horizons.

And get off my lawn.
posted by cortex at 2:23 PM on June 26, 2007


Burhanistan - 220, 221, whatever it takes.
posted by jonson at 2:49 PM on June 26, 2007


If I look on BoingBoing am I going to see this there?

Close your browser. Now. You are way too cool for the internet.
posted by rollbiz at 2:53 PM on June 26, 2007


Also, I thought this was cool.
posted by rollbiz at 2:54 PM on June 26, 2007


Speaking of the iPhone, check out the first guy in line for the iPhone at Apple's flagship glass Mecca store in NYC.
posted by delmoi at 2:57 PM on June 26, 2007


I was a bit wary until I saw it was steam powered. You can't go wrong with steam power, unless it explodes.
posted by Iron Rat at 3:04 PM on June 26, 2007


Lookit the big balls on Burhanistan! He out doctorowed Doctorow!
posted by Dave Faris at 3:49 PM on June 26, 2007


iPhone parody + Pirate theme = Comedy Fools Gold. Adding Steampunk and Mr. Mom references is just icing on the cake. A fools gold cake? That's not right... icing on the wings of a 747. Whatever.
posted by wendell at 4:02 PM on June 26, 2007


I'm afraid of steampunks. Also steamhooligans. And I'm less concerned with, but still wary of steamrapscallions and steammiscreants.

I don't pay attention to steammalefactors at all.
posted by quin at 4:07 PM on June 26, 2007


jonson: correct. Your bonus points are enroute.

Dave Faris: I guess that is a compliment? But try not to look at my crotch, please. Thanks.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:20 PM on June 26, 2007


the problem with the fucking morons at boingboing is that: this word, steampunk, I do not think it means what you think it means.

steampunk is actual functioning retro technology performing modern or future(from the point of view of the "technology" involved)-looking tasks. not sticking a bunch of dials and brass shit on some modern gewgaw. not making some whimsical non-working sculpture-thingy out of wood and leather and discarded bits of mechanical adding machines. tossers.

this distinction is a specific example of the much more general reason implying that most if not all of the circle-jerking primates over at boingboing need to die in a fire.
posted by dorian at 4:20 PM on June 26, 2007 [3 favorites]


see, something like this, while still not truly steampunk, is actually worth of some damn respect.
posted by dorian at 4:23 PM on June 26, 2007


Here you go dorian, the quintessential steampunk accoutrement: brass goggles.

want!
posted by quin at 4:54 PM on June 26, 2007


quin: good!

steampunk
steampunk
NOT steampunk (wanker)
posted by dorian at 5:01 PM on June 26, 2007


But will it work with my Surface?
posted by vronsky at 5:31 PM on June 26, 2007


I am super excited about the release of the iPhone, not because I want one, but because it means everyone will finally shut the hell up about it already!

I can hardly wait!
posted by aubilenon at 5:47 PM on June 26, 2007


What, am I the only guy who spotted the Hitchhiker's Guide reference?

"...a vibrasonic multi-purpose tool that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a Sonic Screwdriver."

C'mon people, let's get on the freaking ball here.

And those brass goggles rock.
posted by ZakDaddy at 5:57 PM on June 26, 2007


steampunk!
see, it's dead easy!
posted by dorian at 5:59 PM on June 26, 2007


If I look on BoingBoing am I going to see this there?
posted by Artw at 4:32 PM on June 26 [2 favorites +] [!]


What's BoingBoing?
posted by juiceCake at 6:08 PM on June 26, 2007


steampunk is actual functioning retro technology performing modern or future(from the point of view of the "technology" involved)-looking tasks.

Whatever you might wish, steampunk actually refers to a genera of fiction. It's not about being "retro" it's about Victorian technology, as in a specific time period. As far as a design aesthetic, it's design that would fit into steampunk fiction, that is Victorian

And by the way, the marble adder you linked too isn't even remotely steampunk. It's not anachronistic, there is nothing to date it and it could be from any period of time in terms of style. And second (and more importantly) it's not steam powered, it's not ornamented, it's not made out of brass, etc.

Since you like wikipedia links so much, here is the actual entry for steampunk. Note the "object style" section:
Various modern utilitarian objects such as computer keyboards and electric guitars[9] have been reimplemented by individual craftpersons in a pseudo-Victorian mechanical "steampunk" style. The goal of the redesigns are to employ appropriate materials (such as polished brass) with design elements and craftsmanship consistent with the Victorian era. This is a form of modding.
posted by delmoi at 6:17 PM on June 26, 2007


and yet somehow charles babbage would disagree. hm. oh yes right it's not steam-powered, well then bring out the steam-torches and the steam-mob.

steampunk is not about being ornamented by design, it's about design being ornamented purely as a side-effect of functionality.

also note:
pseudo-Victorian
"steampunk"

wikipedia is an easy link for lazy people like myself, I don't "like it so much"... here, now if anyone in this day and age is sentimentally and representatively steampunk it's these people.
posted by dorian at 6:36 PM on June 26, 2007


steampunk is not about being ornamented by design, it's about design being ornamented purely as a side-effect of functionality.

Again with this. You don't just get to define words to mean whatever you want them to mean. Charles Babbage was not a Science Fiction author from the 1980s. You can't just say "Steampunk means this, steampunk is that" It's a word with a meaning, and you're trying to say that means something else, based entirely on your own whims and nothing else.

That's not how language works.

And by the way, the long running experiments you link to are not even remotely related to "steampunk" anywhere other then your own mistaken mind. I mean the pitch drop experiment started in 1927. That's too late to be contemporary Victorian, and far to early to be actual steam punk.

You may very well believe what you're saying, but you're wrong. That's not how most people use the word, including the people who came up with it.
posted by delmoi at 6:49 PM on June 26, 2007


I am super excited about the release of the iPhone, not because I want one, but because it means everyone will finally shut the hell up about it already!

[curmudgeon] I only wish that were true, but instead what will happen is obnoxious tiresome showboat colleagues will trap us between the copier and the paper-cutter and gas on mercilessly about all the way-mod features of their iPhones, just as one did with his Razr or whatever the fuck it is last week, despite the fact that I loathe all cellphones with every scintilla of loathing that my loathing-producing marrow can muster.

But thanks to Apple, at least I was able to smile sweetly and say, "Wow, that's impressive -- and on June 29, totally obsolete!" As I'll be able to do again as soon as the UltraWhopperSleekitBeastiePhone, "now . . . with wings," knocks the iPhone off the mountaintop soon enough.

Here's an idea: stop talking on the damned phone. Do some work. Spend some time reveling in solitude and contemplating nothing in particular. Listen to some real music instead of those tinny-ass mp3s. I'm all for technology when it adds value or enjoyment to life, but Jesus, the qualitative impoverishment bespoken by trapping people in the copy room to show off your phone. . . . It makes the business card comparison scene in American Psycho seem positively substantive. [/curmudgeon]
posted by FelliniBlank at 6:51 PM on June 26, 2007


Btw, read the wikipedia article there's this
Dear Locus,
Enclosed is a copy of my 1979 novel Morlock Night; I'd appreciate your being so good as to route it Faren Miller, as it's a prime piece of evidence in the great debate as to who in "the Powers/Blaylock/Jeter fantasy triumvirate" was writing in the "gonzo-historical manner" first. Though of course, I did find her review in the March Locus to be quite flattering.
Personally, I think Victorian fantasies are going to be the next big thing, as long as we can come up with a fitting collective term for Powers, Blaylock and myself. Something based on the appropriate technology of the era; like "steampunks," perhaps ...
-- K.W. Jeter.[1]
See that. That's the first use of the term, the guy just made it up right then and there, and he gave it a specific definition, to describe some works of literature. Now you come by 20 years later and decide the word means something else entirely based nothing whatsoever beyond your own ego.
posted by delmoi at 6:53 PM on June 26, 2007


yes, because those scientists were performing those experiments entirely to get some sort of steampunk-cred. analogy much? and ban the clockwork heretics, no doubt. whereas the guy who put vestigial brass plumbing bits onto his guitar is some sort of steampunk-messiah, naturally.

steampunk culture, being purely speculative fiction, surprisingly depends on designed objects actually functioning. weird, I know. "redesigned" objects are more of an homage or some sort of art-form I would imagine. because the concept of steampunk somehow assumes that things in its universe actually work. so yeah I can understand actual physical objects as a fiction, but it is one hell of a lot more satisfying when they obey the physical and functional precepts of the thing they are supposedly representing.

just because the word was not coined, just because the purpose was not defined, does not lessen verne and twain and their ilk. much less sterling and gibson. the basis of the concept is already quite well laid-out, for 50 years and more. whose ego exactly is re-deciding it, and who is reverently building on it?
posted by dorian at 7:15 PM on June 26, 2007


delmoi, that's brilliant. Reminds me of the Woody Allen movie where he pulls Vonnegut (?) out of the line to argue with some guy who thinks he knows what the author meant in his book.

I'm too lazy to look up whether it was Vonnegut or not...
posted by misha at 7:21 PM on June 26, 2007


Steampunk? I feel that contemporary writers typically ignore a lot of annoying things that were also around during the Victoria era.

Personally, I prefer Zeppelinpunk.
posted by porpoise at 8:47 PM on June 26, 2007


Misha, it was Marshall McLuhan.
posted by lackutrol at 10:48 PM on June 26, 2007


[bloop]
[bleeep]

Yaaar!

.....[click]
posted by dreadpiraterobots at 3:57 AM on June 27, 2007


vronsky : But will it work with my Surface?

Yes, if, by "work with" you mean "smash the shit out of when dropped upon". By that measure, the rPhone will "work with" your Surface very well. Very well indeed. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!
posted by kcds at 6:25 AM on June 27, 2007


delmoi, that's brilliant. Reminds me of the Woody Allen movie where he pulls Vonnegut (?) out of the line to argue with some guy who thinks he knows what the author meant in his book.

Didn't they do that in the Rodney Dangerfield classic Back To School?
posted by inigo2 at 9:09 AM on June 27, 2007


Yep, Back to School.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:38 PM on June 28, 2007


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