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I HATE YOOOOOOOOOU!
July 1, 2007 7:48 AM   Subscribe

"I HATE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS DAMN WORLDDDDDDDDDD"... A dramatic reading of a break-up letter. (Audio may be NSFW, but the text is entertaining even without the audio) Via.
posted by amyms (84 comments total) 40 users marked this as a favorite

 
Okay, I'll be the first to admit there's not much substance here, but it made me laugh out loud (while cringing at memories of teenybopper relationship angst) on this lazy Sunday, and I thought others might like it. :)
posted by amyms at 7:51 AM on July 1, 2007


No no no no! That's it amyms , I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!
posted by nola at 8:00 AM on July 1, 2007


I declare this to be the official YTMND thread.

Check out this awsome Keira Knightley site.
posted by Avenger at 8:02 AM on July 1, 2007 [7 favorites]


Nothing like a good stream-of-consciousness rant from an illiterate teenager. I'm jealouse of her mad writing skillz
posted by SteveTheRed at 8:05 AM on July 1, 2007


Right now, I am weeping for the English language.

I am also dismayed that people like this will be the humanity that we'll be forced to depend upon when we are old, withered and infirm. God help us all.
posted by mstefan at 8:11 AM on July 1, 2007


I have come to the conclusion that for many people punctuation s inherently frightening and they would rather see it done away with.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:14 AM on July 1, 2007


SteveTheRed said: Nothing like a good stream-of-consciousness rant from an illiterate teenager.

It doesn't mean she's illiterate, it just means she's venting... lol... I think most (if not all) of us have screamed or written incoherently in the heat of anger.
posted by amyms at 8:15 AM on July 1, 2007


that's fucking awesome.
posted by ph00dz at 8:18 AM on July 1, 2007


The Internet is Tubes.
posted by Avenger at 8:19 AM on July 1, 2007


"you make me touch your hands for stupid reasons" is the best thing I've heard all week.
posted by danb at 8:20 AM on July 1, 2007


Awww, poor little girl.

It was funnier once he stopped making reading mistakes. And yeah, it's a painful flashback to being a teenager.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:22 AM on July 1, 2007


That guy's done other readings on YTMD that are funny. I remember he did one from Ebaum's dad once which was pretty excellent.
posted by dobbs at 8:27 AM on July 1, 2007


^^^ N ^^^
posted by dobbs at 8:28 AM on July 1, 2007


SteveBusters!
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:29 AM on July 1, 2007


Haha! That was fantastic.
posted by londontube at 8:33 AM on July 1, 2007


Tasha Yar: Drug Advocate. Die Hard 4: Abridged.
posted by WCityMike at 8:36 AM on July 1, 2007 [3 favorites]


Did I really just get rickrolled on MetaFilter? That was certainly unexpected.
posted by Partial Law at 8:36 AM on July 1, 2007


Btw, Senator Ted "Tubes" Stevensmay get indicted for a shady contracting job on his house. His son, an Alaska state senator has already been indicted on some other sundry corruption charges.
posted by delmoi at 8:37 AM on July 1, 2007


What is Jedi Academy love? Robin is so gangsta. Livin' in a Muppet paradise. MEGATRON!! 1,845 ninjas stare into your soul. Firefly. Dr. Zaius is a playa.
posted by WCityMike at 8:39 AM on July 1, 2007 [5 favorites]


Partial Law said: Did I really just get rickrolled on MetaFilter?

Huh? Who posted a Rick Astley link? (Not that that would be a bad thing, necessarily. I just don't see one in this thread)
posted by amyms at 8:42 AM on July 1, 2007


KHAAAN!
posted by infinitewindow at 8:42 AM on July 1, 2007


Avenger, you are dead to me.
posted by iconomy at 8:44 AM on July 1, 2007 [2 favorites]


That ninja one made me laugh so hard I think I have to go to the hospital now.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:45 AM on July 1, 2007


Sylvester Stallone: You Betrayed the LAW!. Emo Oranges. Google Maps + Time Travel = Google Maps on the NES. What’s with George Bush and bald people?. Where is Padme? Riker is Sad. Chinese Chip ‘n’ Dale Rescue Rangers. The Final Steps of Bill. Pope John Paul II rocks the house. Marty McFly rocks the house. Real World Katamari Damacy. Vanilla Ice’s Bacon. A Trekkie’s Dream Comes True. Sim City New Orleans. Marty McFly sees his future. Milton Sings About His Stapler. Snicker. Snicker. Heh. Mrrrrffff.. Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!
posted by WCityMike at 8:50 AM on July 1, 2007 [8 favorites]


I managed to tape a short argument from my last breakup, and things got pretty heavy. (nudity, NSFW, swearing, etc.)
posted by Meatbomb at 8:53 AM on July 1, 2007 [3 favorites]


I am a bit on the confused side. She says that he came to breakfast every morning and sat by her seven year old brother. She also says her mother put her up to it.

Was she dating her stepfather? Her brother? Her stepbrother?
posted by flarbuse at 8:59 AM on July 1, 2007


Can’t Break Scotty’s Stride. YTMND: The Origami Matrix. YTMND - Nobody’s gonna break MY stride. YTMND: Ducktales in Finnish: “Your arms are broken!” Rather explicit misinterpretation of the German translation of “The Super Mario Brothers Song.” YTMND - Censored Porn. Heh. Anything I’d say about this wouldn’t be adequate. Not all Super Mario pipes have broadband … Al Pacino: Ace Attorney. What You See When You Die. Data is NOT having a wonderful time! Agent Smith Wants Ice Cream! I Believe You Have My Vocoder? Ladies and gentlemen … Howard Dean and Lou Costello do a cover of an Outkast song. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Until YTMND, I really thought I was the only one who absolutely detested this particular line and subsequent laugh in the latest “Quizno’s” commercials. Finally, I watched this YTMND page. I didn’t see anything particularly funny on it. Then, I realized the origin of the music playing. And I started laughing my ass off.
posted by WCityMike at 9:01 AM on July 1, 2007 [6 favorites]


wow Meatbomb. Thats some pretty heavy NSFW right there. I'm surprised YouTube hasn't taken it down yet.
posted by Avenger at 9:01 AM on July 1, 2007


The man who made this one must be some kinda genius!
posted by thirteenkiller at 9:06 AM on July 1, 2007 [6 favorites]


Oh, Meatbomb. You scamp!
posted by cgc373 at 9:09 AM on July 1, 2007


Avenger, if you think Meatbomb's argument is bad, you really need to see this one.
posted by WCityMike at 9:09 AM on July 1, 2007


This appears to be the only YTMND tagged with a 'metafilter' keyword.
posted by WCityMike at 9:14 AM on July 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


That Ninjas link is genius. I am now a shadow of a man.
posted by RokkitNite at 9:16 AM on July 1, 2007


this drove all around me nuts as I laughed and laughed and laughed
posted by Busithoth at 9:17 AM on July 1, 2007 [2 favorites]


Appropriate for MetaFilter? I have no idea. Hilarious? I vote yes. I passed this around to all my friends when it first came out but had since forgotten about it. Thank you for bringing it back to me.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 9:22 AM on July 1, 2007


I like the Pope.
posted by martinrebas at 9:26 AM on July 1, 2007 [4 favorites]


I guess I did come across as a crotchety old man. mstefan said what I meant a lot better than I did.
posted by SteveTheRed at 9:32 AM on July 1, 2007


My favorite so far -
Watch it for 30 seconds solid and see if you can hold it together.
posted by Lord_Pall at 9:36 AM on July 1, 2007 [14 favorites]


Perhaps the most memorable flourish on Metabomb's video is the way he handles the short argument from his last breakup, which alternates rapid-fire 16th notes with longer, off-the-beat triplets.
posted by Sailormom at 9:38 AM on July 1, 2007


WCityMike must be stopped.
posted by shmegegge at 9:50 AM on July 1, 2007 [2 favorites]


WCityMike is all done.
posted by WCityMike at 9:50 AM on July 1, 2007


Watch it for 30 seconds solid and see if you can hold it together.

I couldn't do it. I was toast after 15 seconds.
posted by psmealey at 9:50 AM on July 1, 2007


Oh man, did I really say Metabomb? Because I really meant Meatbomb. goodbye.
posted by Sailormom at 10:09 AM on July 1, 2007


Watch it for 30 seconds solid and see if you can hold it together.

Fuck, no. I was laughing so hard my eyes had watered over ten seconds in.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:17 AM on July 1, 2007


I believe you have my staaapler.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:20 AM on July 1, 2007 [5 favorites]


Awesome.
posted by odinsdream at 10:25 AM on July 1, 2007


This is this week's thread for getting the stupid out of the way?
posted by scottymac at 10:29 AM on July 1, 2007


I managed to tape a short argument from my last breakup, and things got pretty heavy . (nudity, NSFW, swearing, etc.)

Jesus meatbomb, you're sick. And how could put up with that woman anyway?
posted by delmoi at 10:33 AM on July 1, 2007


Oh man, I've missed YTMND. It brings me back to that month last summer when I was unemployed. Ah, good times.

as long as we're posting favs, I'm gonna have to throw this one in the ring
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:59 AM on July 1, 2007


Metafilter: venting... lol
posted by boo_radley at 11:02 AM on July 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


Index of YTMND dramatic readings.
posted by christopherious at 11:03 AM on July 1, 2007


A godawful confluence of metafiterian interests.
posted by boo_radley at 11:15 AM on July 1, 2007


Oh man I am watching these clips on my new iPhone and now I have the giggles. And I am in church. Not good.
posted by vronsky at 11:20 AM on July 1, 2007 [2 favorites]


Namaste bitches!
posted by vronsky at 11:21 AM on July 1, 2007


I am going to keep the sound effect from the mathowie one on in an endless loop until I die.
posted by tristeza at 11:35 AM on July 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


I managed to tape a short argument from my last breakup, and things got pretty heavy. (nudity, NSFW, swearing, etc.)
posted by Meatbomb





you knew the rules meatbomb.
posted by sgt.serenity at 11:44 AM on July 1, 2007


The dramatic reading reminded me strangely of the Talking Moose. I think it would be great if all breakups were delivered via Talking Moose.
posted by escabeche at 11:57 AM on July 1, 2007


Does anyone have any idea why YTMND audio refuses to loop for me like it used to? I'm using Firefox on Ubuntu (Feisty).
posted by LeeJay at 12:28 PM on July 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm quite fond of the Brian Peppers meme. This page in particular is one of the best.
posted by Tube at 12:30 PM on July 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


did you install the noloop, LoopLess, or YTMNDOnceOnly extensions?
posted by lastobelus at 12:43 PM on July 1, 2007


man. Even the second time I watched it I had trouble making it to the loop on the ninja's one. Because I was like managing to convince myself that I hadn't watched it all the way to the loop the first time.
posted by lastobelus at 1:04 PM on July 1, 2007


Every people in the world know well about this dangerous disease in the name of cancer
posted by you at 1:37 PM on July 1, 2007 [4 favorites]


id rather date a spider or rat den u ur soooo ugly and fat !!!!!!!!!

Pretty-much sums it up.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:55 PM on July 1, 2007


July 1 2007: the day 4chan bubbled up and began to flood the earth.
posted by JHarris at 3:14 PM on July 1, 2007


Uther, you have seen 'House of Cosbys' right?
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:15 PM on July 1, 2007


I'm having a brain fart - can someone please tell me which game the music for Go cry, emo kid is from?

Also, that cancer essay video made me blow a gasket.
posted by wilberforce at 3:24 PM on July 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


did you install the noloop, LoopLess, or YTMNDOnceOnly extensions?

Nope. No extensions. It's very strange.
posted by LeeJay at 3:35 PM on July 1, 2007


i laughed until i cried. thank you.
posted by fillsthepews at 3:39 PM on July 1, 2007


wilberforce, Super Mario Bros on the Gameboy I believe
posted by fullerine at 4:09 PM on July 1, 2007


Right now, I am weeping for the English language.

I am also dismayed that people like this will be the humanity that we'll be forced to depend upon when we are old, withered and infirm. God help us all.


Indeed
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:26 PM on July 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


Wow, that Dumpster link is interesting depressing adorable interesting.

Much like teenaged love, I suppose.
posted by LeeJay at 4:34 PM on July 1, 2007


Sorry, by "that Dumpster link" I was referring to UbuRoivas's link above.
posted by LeeJay at 4:35 PM on July 1, 2007


Until YTMND, I really thought I was the only one who absolutely detested this particular line and subsequent laugh in the latest “Quizno’s” commercials.

I ruined that commercial for my boyfriend by pointing out her laugh and how irritatingly special it was. He said that he wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for me, and now we cringe every time it comes on the TV. I am glad it's not followed me back to the UK.
posted by saturnine at 4:46 PM on July 1, 2007


The "get your free corn" one is perhaps the first YTMND link I've laughed at in 3 years.

Also, I would demand to know Rick Astley's whereabouts 9 months before Clay Aiken's birth. I think we found proof of either cloning or a time machine, one or the other.
posted by Ynoxas at 5:20 PM on July 1, 2007


My favorite so far -
Watch it for 30 seconds solid and see if you can hold it together.


I got to fifteen seconds before my brain started leaking out of my nose.
posted by AmberV at 5:36 PM on July 1, 2007


YTMND is so great at finding the essence of something, the thisness, the haecceity.

Like LazyTown.
posted by ztdavis at 6:42 PM on July 1, 2007


Gangsta Owl (language nsfw)

Thirteenkiller: The man who made this one must be some kinda genius!

Follow-up to that :)

Tube: I'm quite fond of the Brian Peppers meme. This page in particular is one of the best.

Some really good ones ya. This one introduced me to the peppers meme waay back when, laughed a lot...cried a little on the inside too..hrm..
posted by samsara at 6:49 PM on July 1, 2007 [1 favorite]


flarbuse: I am a bit on the confused side.

Me too, although I didn't get an incest vibe from it. I don't know about the rest of y'all, but when I was a teenager my parents would not have been ok with my boyfriend wandering downstairs to eat breakfast with my 7-year-old siblings, and all that this implies.
posted by naoko at 7:35 PM on July 1, 2007


This is why I joined MeFi
posted by Artaud at 7:56 PM on July 1, 2007


You mean Matt didn't send hired goons around, forcing you to cough up five bucks or else, with a promise to return if you didn't contribute regularly? How did you get off so lightly?
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:53 PM on July 1, 2007


You took my fucking cloudsong! (sweary, mostly screamy)
posted by mckenney at 11:13 AM on July 2, 2007 [2 favorites]


naoko writes "

"Me too, although I didn't get an incest vibe from it. I don't know about the rest of y'all, but when I was a teenager my parents would not have been ok with my boyfriend wandering downstairs to eat breakfast with my 7-year-old siblings, and all that this implies."


I think it might be breakfast at school.
posted by concrete at 6:13 PM on July 2, 2007


In what, a one-room schoolhouse?
I was assuming that the author of this thing is at least in junior high, and therefore not going to the same school as the 7-year-old.
posted by naoko at 8:01 PM on July 2, 2007


I remember some kids like this when I was in 5th or 6th grade. It's kind of hard to tell her age from her writing, but I think it's possible that she was still in elementary school when she wrote it.
posted by concrete at 12:08 AM on July 3, 2007


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